


Come With Me Now

by WillowRavenBloodstone



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Relationships, Explicit Language, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hansen Family Feels, Kind of a self-insert, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, because who doesn't want to be a jaeger pilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:15:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 116,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1965129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowRavenBloodstone/pseuds/WillowRavenBloodstone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since I was a kid, I remember wanting to be a pilot. I never imagined that I'd be driving something a bit bigger than an F-22. It wasn't easy getting to this point in my life, but the best things in life are seldom easy but always worth it in the end. Since we're facing the end, might as well look back on some of those best things, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Los Angeles Shatterdome, December 19th, 2024

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first attempt at Pacific Rim fanfiction! This story will be a re-telling of events pre-canon, as well as during, through the stories of Gemma Watts, an aspiring jaeger pilot. It's also a fix-it of sorts, with a bright, happy ending because as much as I love reading angst, I can't bring myself to write it.
> 
> This all started as a brief snippet I wanted to write but grew into a lot more. Point of view will likely shift because I'm an idiot and wrote the whole first part in first person, and then changed my mind about it.

I grew up watching the same movies every other American kid did. The ones with the heroes saving the day, the ones where the monsters stopped coming, where at the end of of it all, humanity emerged triumphant. Independence Day was a big one in my house, once I was old enough. Top Gun was too, but that was less about monsters and more about good old-fashioned American ass-kicking.

Those movies started my quest to be a pilot. I told everyone that would listen that I’d join the Air Force or the Navy and be the next Maverick. Of course, as a ten-year old girl, most people just patted my head and said ‘oh, that’s nice, sweetie’. I didn’t let that discourage me. Piloting was my dream, it was what I wanted more than anything.

I was twelve and on vacation with my parents in sunny Honolulu, Hawaii, when Trespasser crawled from the Breach. My brother had the TV on and was flipping through the channels when we spotted it on the news.

At first, we thought it was a monster movie. Dad came in, intending on dragging us out to the beach again. Instead of telling us to put on our swimsuits, he called for Mom and the four of us sat around the TV. I think I realized before my brother that this was real.

I remember watching the fighter pilots trying to take down this monster and I remember feeling an ache in my chest. I wanted to be there, I wanted to fight with them, to take it down and be a hero. I didn’t say anything though. It didn’t feel right. Mom was in tears, clearly horrified, and Dad was stone-faced. I didn’t remember then, but I do know. Mom had family in San Francisco. Friends.

We stayed glued to the TV for six days. I mean, how could we go on and enjoy our vacation, enjoy the beautiful beaches and culture of Hawaii when the world could be coming to an end? Nobody voiced this opinion, but we were all thinking it. What if the military couldn’t stop it? They weren’t having a lot of luck so far.

Mom and Dad took turns sleeping, both of them keeping an eye on what was happening. My brother and I were forced to go to bed at what they deemed normal times, but I couldn’t sleep well. They watched the tv in the other room of our hotel suite, the volume turned down low, and after they came in to check on us, I’d creep out of bed and press my ear to the door, desperate for any information.

I heard them argue too, about what to do. We couldn’t leave, as all non-essential flights were grounded. The United States Military wanted clear airspaces. Mom was urging Dad to use his old connections to get us on a private transport ship to the mainland, and from there we could rent a car and go home. Dad wanted to stay where we were, as there was no telling if the monster would go South next. We lived on the East coast, but we had no passports so landing in Mexico wasn’t an option.

The second day, the military still hadn’t stopped it. It was marching its way inland. It destroyed so much of the Bay area and didn’t seem to be stopping. The military was throwing damn near everything they had at this beast and nothing seemed to slow it down. The third and fourth day were the same. More destruction, more explosions, more casualties. The Bay area was rubble. Part of Oakland was demolished. Sacramento was ashes, and it seemed like it wanted to go back to Oakland to finish the job.

I remember a chill settling over me when I realized they’d have to go bigger. And if I realized that, surely they had too. All day, I watched that television, waiting for it. Dad tried to get my brother and I to go outside, take a walk and get some fresh air. This wasn’t for kids, he said. My brother took him up on that offer and spent most of that time outside with Dad. Mom and I sat in the room silently watching.

At the end of the fifth day, what I knew was coming finally happened. From grainy camera footage from helicopters and witnesses miles away, there was a brilliant flash of light. I flinched. Mom gasped. My brother started crying. We all knew what it meant. There were still civilians in the area, people who couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. But it seemed like a nuclear missile was our last option. For a brief second, after the flash faded and the cameras began to move in closer, there was the hope that this was finally over.

But the monster continued to move.

Mom started crying then. I didn’t blame her then, and I don’t know. Those were our most powerful weapons, and all it seemed to do was piss it off. What did we have now? I couldn’t cry, although no one would think less for a twelve year old girl for doing so. It wasn’t about that. I wasn’t allowing myself to feel fear. It wouldn’t help anything, just give my parents more things to worry about. Sitting with a blank face while watching this apocalyptic event worried them even more than had I burst into hysterical tears though.

We watched it well into the night, my brother pulling himself away to go hide under the blankets. I watched him go, trying to avoid showing the contempt I felt. We couldn’t hide and wait for a thing like this to just go away. Hiding solved nothing. I kept watching.

At around two-thirty that morning., there was another flash of light. Another stunned moment of silence. Did this bomb work? Or were we just killing more of our own? When the monster kept moving, Mom fled to the bathroom, where I heard her throwing up. I frowned and tried to drown it out, keeping my focus on the TV.

Suddenly, there was a stab of hope in my chest. It was moving slower, clearly wounded now. It was working! The military just needed to hit it in the right spot. We could take this thing down, we could win.

I had my first cup of coffee that night, taking Dad’s when he wasn’t paying attention and drinking as much as I could. It was black and bitter but I knew it would help keep me awake. I wasn’t going to sleep until this thing was dead. It was the least I could do, when so many others were awake fighting it.

And so many others wouldn’t get to sleep again.

The coffee made me restless and I chewed my nails down until they were painful but it kept me awake. The sun rose and with it my brother, begging Dad to let him go outside again. Mom went with him this time, unable to watch anymore. Again, they tried to get me to go, but again I refused. This was almost over. It had to be. I watched as the monster had slowed, gotten even slower due to its injuries. It was still carving a deadly, fiery path through Oakland, but it was slowing. We hurt it. It was time to kill it.

Dad insisted I take a shower somewhere around eleven that morning, and reluctantly I got up and complied. I remember the vague ache from my legs, as I had been sitting on the floor for the better part of six days. I hadn’t bathed either, which was pretty gross, thinking back on it. It was a quick shower , as I didn’t want to miss anything. Today the monster was going down and I didn’t want to miss that.

Emerging from the bathroom with the towel in my hands, I arrived just in time to see the final run. The military was pulling back farther, obviously intending to use a bigger bomb. I stood, riveted, next to my father as we watched the third and final missile detonate.

Was it dead? I clutched the towel tightly, my nail beds sending shooting pain up my hands, pain I ignored. Please let it be dead.

Smoke and ash cleared away and we finally got a clear image of the monster. Laying on its side, its flanks heaving in last, agonized breaths. It was smoking, clearly burnt from the nuclear explosion. And then, suddenly, it stopped moving altogether.

My knees buckled and I hit the floor hard, crumpling in on myself and burying my face in the still-damp towel to cry. It was like a dam burst, and all the emotions I wouldn’t let myself feel came rushing out, but at the front of it all was relief. It was over. We won.

I don’t remember much of what happened the rest of the day. I sobbed into that towel, and then into my father’s shirt when he knelt down to wrap his arms around me. I remember he was crying too, the completely foreign image of the tears on his face burning into my mind. It’s still there today.

I must have cried myself to sleep, because the next thing I remember was opening my eyes and staring out the window of our hotel room. Noise had startled me awake, and I climbed out of bed and walked to the window to see what the deal was.

Fireworks lit up the sky, the amateur kind you can buy at those roadside shacks before the Fourth of July and New Years. People were celebrating.

The celebrations continued through the rest of our vacation and eventually we went home. School was starting, and along with it came the hope that life would continue on now, as normal. After a few weeks, when talking about it got boring and the school stopped pressuring its students to ask their parents to donate to the California relief effort, life did return to normal. Oh, sure, there were still reports on the news every now and then, most of which I didn’t pay attention to. It was all politics. Why were the bombs spaced so far apart? What was the hesitation? Why were we so willing to use weapons of mass destruction in heavily populated areas?

The ones that interested me were the ones about the illnesses and deaths caused not by the radioactive fallout from the bombs, but from the monster’s blood that spilled along its warpath and into the San Francisco Bay. They were calling it ‘Kaiju Blue’, a name that wasn’t creative or unique, but at least we had a name for it. And for the monster. I had to look up what kaiju meant. Monster, in Japanese.

They usually had neat names for stuff, I guess.

The world went on. Nobody really forgot about what happened, but most people didn’t think it would happen again. Halloween came, with several people dressed as the monster. It was certainly scary enough, the whole point of the holiday, after all. Thanksgiving came, with all of us sitting at the dinner table saying that we were thankful we were alive. Christmas rolled around, and I received a copy of Top Gun of my very own, along with a pair of aviator sunglasses and an old bomber jacket. I was delighted.

New Years came and went, and another first for me, as I tried a sip of Mom’s champagne at midnight. She laughed when I made a face and promised me I’d acquire a taste for it when I got older.

With January came more school, but that was fine since I liked school. I wore my bomber jacket, which was several sizes too big, and my glasses. People made fun of them, but what did they know? I’d be a pilot some day while they were busy being accountants and librarians and everything boring.

The kaiju were the furthest thing from my mind when February approached. I was already mentally planning on who’d get Valentine’s Day cards, and trying to figure out if anyone wanted to give me any. Not likely, since I wasn’t very popular, but I was okay with that. I had friends who’d give them to me.

February 5th rolled around and suddenly I wasn’t thinking about Valentines anymore. Another kaiju had emerged from the ocean and was laying waste to Manila. I hadn’t ever heard about Manila before but now I knew it was there. It took another salvo of nuclear missiles to take it down.

It was then I realized that this wasn’t an isolated event. Something was attacking us. What I didn’t know was why, or how. Did they live in the oceans? Had they been there the whole time (impossible we would have known by now) and we just woke them up? What did they want?

The oceans became scary to me. To everyone. Tourism declined on the west coast, and even took a dive on the East, at least until the third attack in June, in Cabo San Lucas. It was only the Pacific Ocean, we learned.

Military enlistment numbers shot up, and I was annoyed. I was still too young to do anything. Sure, I could donate what little allowance I had, but it wasn’t enough.

The fourth attack, in Sydney, came that September and the world was starting to get bad. There were riots I saw when Mom allowed me to watch the TV. She kept it off more often than not now, she hated seeing the news, seeing and hearing about the victims of the attacks. We learned that her family and friends hadn’t been in the direct path of destruction in San Francisco, but they were still killed in one of the nuclear strikes. It didn’t matter which one.

Dad wanted to get back in the military, jump back into the Marine Corps and do what he could to assist. Mom refused. They argued over it many times, their shouting waking me up late at night. I didn’t cry after the kaiju attacks ever again, but I did cry during their arguments. It scared me more than the kaiju did. We needed our family together.

Some of our other family members, Mom’s sister and her mother,  moved out to us from Hawaii. It wasn’t safe in the Pacific anymore, and our house had space. I feel like that caused more strain on Mom and Dad, but their shouting matches stopped until the two moved into their own place up the street.

It feels odd saying it, but my life changed two days after my birthday. That was the day I saw a hope for us. A hope for our planet.

It was the day Brawler Yukon defeated Karloff in Vancouver. The kaiju crawled out of the ocean and the world watched in fear, knowing another nuclear attack was imminent. Vancouver had a huge population and my heart ached for the people I knew were about to die.

And then the jaeger stepped into Karloff’s path and stopped it. The world watched this hulking mass of metal fight the kaiju and win. It was then the world as a whole was introduced to the Jaeger program. We had heard about it, sure, with the formation of the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps, and the massive amount of money the UN was throwing their way. But we hadn’t seen anything about it until now.

We had a way to fight back. Suddenly, being a fighter pilot didn’t seem so cool.

Suddenly, I wanted to be a jaeger pilot. Maverick was a distant memory.

My parents, on the other hand, didn’t seem to think that my new dream of being a jaeger pilot was any better than my old dream of being a fighter pilot. I still ignored them. I had to do something. My mother’s idea of a career for me was a teacher, and she constantly pushed me in that direction. My father’s idea of a career for me was to go to college and become an officer in the military.

They fought over that as well.

High school started that fall, and with it, my determination that I was going to be a jaeger pilot, come hell or high water. The jaeger academy had started that summer, accepting anyone who could fit all the application criteria. I wasn’t about to do that at fourteen. In high school, I joined the Navy Junior Officer Reserve Training Corps. Most kids in it talked about joining the Navy or the Army or the Marines, but I insisted that once I graduated high school, I was going to the Jaeger Academy. Our instructor pulled me aside and told me that he’d help me as much as he could, but he didn’t think I had much of a chance, since I was a girl.

I pointed out that one of Brawler Yukon’s pilots was a woman and he didn’t say much after that.

My brother was in NJROTC with me as well, and for a while he echoed my statements about joining the Jaeger Academy. It was more noticeable when the Academy started calling for siblings to enroll together, as they had a better chance at being pilots. We didn’t know what it meant then, but being twins, my brother and I felt like it was a perfect opportunity.

I ate up anything that had to do with Jaegers. I had posters taped to my bedroom walls of my favorites: Lucky Seven, Romeo Blue, Eden Assassin, Shaolin Rogue, Gipsy Danger. As the years passed, more and more pictures were added to the walls, images of the pilots, of their victories. The pilots became celebrities. You could find pictures of the Gage twins, of the Becket brothers, of Kaori and Duc Jessop inside the lockers of almost everyone in the school. Everyone had their favorites.

Becoming a jaeger pilot became more and more alluring. I took care of myself, trained hard to be in the best shape I could be. I took tae kwon do and aikido, trying to prepare myself as best I could for the combat regimens the Academy would be teaching us. My parents hated it, but four nights a week I was at either class. My brother never came, even though I asked almost every day. How else would he be prepared? With the arrogance of a teenage boy, he insisted he’d be fine.

I met my first boyfriend in my martial arts lessons, a towering handsome blond. He shared with me his dreams of being a detective, I shared mine of being a jaeger pilot. We were together through all of high school, even though he went to a different school across town. We went to each other’s proms, football games, spend plenty of time at each other’s houses, in each other’s bedrooms when we could.

My parents continued to argue, and during my junior year, they divorced. Mom moved two states away, attacking both me and my brother with angry, bitter words when we refused to move. She said hurtful things, things I won’t ever forget, and I haven’t spoken to her in some time, although as the situation in the world grows more dire, I probably should reach out to her.

As high school drew to a close, I started to get more excited. I turned eighteen that April, the age where my parents had no say in the matter of me joining the Academy. Graduating was exciting, with the well wishes of family and friends, although I had to get used to the faces many made when I told them I was skipping college. I didn’t need it, wouldn’t need it if the world was eaten by the kaiju. Someone had to protect the rest of them. I felt up to the task.

Mom was conspicuously absent during the ceremony and after. I was never even sure if she received the invitation.

The day after graduation, when I was starting to fill out the Jaeger Academy application (as I had done so many times, only to find the documents missing whenever I came home from school), my brother dropped a bombshell on the family. He wasn’t the only one spending time in another’s bedroom. He’d gotten a girl pregnant.

I was furious. How could he have been so irresponsible? It’s not like contraception was hard to come by, Dad was even pushing it on me, wanting me to be safe no matter my choices. I was also devastated. He wasn’t going to join the Academy with me, deciding to do the right thing and raising his child. I couldn’t fault him there, but I was concerned about my chances at finding a co-pilot. Not all co-pilots were siblings or family members, but a lot of them were. Some were husband and wife, some were long time friends. I still had a chance at least.

I tell you all of this because I realize now, that the end of the kaiju war is coming, one way or another. I have no way of telling if humanity will come out on top, but I figure I should leave a memoir of my time as a jaeger pilot for future generations, if there are any. My story, my life, really starts when I was accepted to the 2019 Fall/Winter class at the Jaeger Academy.

I’m sure you’re wondering what happened between 2019 and now, but as a favorite character of mine would say…Spoilers!


	2. Anchorage, Alaska September 1st 2019 - November 2nd 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma experiences exactly what the Jaeger Academy has in store for her and it's so much more than she expected. Still, there are friends to be had and it's one more step towards getting into a jaeger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are with the next installment. Just an FYI, I don't actually know how the military works. Or how accents work. I don't know how a lot of things work, lets just leave it at that. I did the best I can trying to give this a boot camp feel. I hope you enjoy!

“Gemma, stop tapping your foot, you’re shaking the table.” I stopped and turned my head to look back over at my father, who’s sitting across from me. I had been staring out the window, but it was pretty rude of me. This was the last he was going to see of me for weeks, the least i could do is pay attention, right?

“Sorry, Dad.” I return to eating my pancakes. He wanted to treat me to one last breakfast before I started the Academy, but I was mostly too nervous to eat. I didn’t want to upset him though, so I continued to eat. At least they were tasty.

We were sitting in some little diner in Anchorage, killing time until I had to report to the Jaeger Academy airstrip at 10 AM. It was almost nine now, and we’d have to leave soon if I wanted to get there on time.

“You’re nervous. I get it. Before I started basic training, I wanted to puke.” Dad took another sip of his coffee and I looked at mine. Would I get coffee with breakfast? I hoped so. This wasn’t quite the military, was it?

“But you’re better prepared than I was. You have an idea of what’s coming. I had none. I almost washed out that first week, you know.” He continued while watching me push a piece of my breakfast around my plate. I should probably eat them, the coffee wasn’t sitting right in my stomach. Nerves, had to be.

“It’s okay if you wash out, you know.” He told me gently and I looked away.

“It’s really not, but I know what you mean.” He meant that he wouldn’t think any less of me if I couldn’t make it. But I would. I bet Mom would too, wherever she is. Plenty of people would. I was doing this for them, I couldn’t disappoint.

“I can’t imagine how it’s different than any other basic training, but if it’s somehow harder, just know that the Marine Corps will take you. You’re more than ready for that.” Dad tried to assure me. He wasn’t wrong, I looked at all the requirements for the branches of the American military when comparing them to the Jaeger Academy, to see what was different. Any of them I could do without an issue.

But none of them would put me in the conn-pod of a jaeger.

“I’ll be fine. Really. God, I think you’re more nervous than I am.” I reached over to pat his arm and then picked up the rest of my coffee and drained the cup. A few more bites of pancakes washed down with what was left of my water and I was done. I was getting more nervous just sitting here, and the car ride to meet my plane wouldn’t make things easier.

“Probably. It’s not easy sending your kid off into the world by herself, let alone the military.” Dad polished off his breakfast of eggs and bacon and flagged the waitress down for our check.

“Good luck, sweetheart.” The waitress said, a slender woman named Mindy, as she brought Dad’s credit card back to him. He signed the receipt and pressed a ten dollar bill into the folder and handed it back. I smiled and murmured a thank you, pushing myself out of the booth we were sitting in.

“At least I get to go back home after this. I can’t imagine spending a winter up here. It gets cold enough in Georgia.” Dad tugged his coat on. He was being dramatic, as it wasn’t that cold. I was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater I had knitted myself during the summer, while I waited to start the Academy. It was nice and cozy, but I imagined I wouldn’t be getting to wear it again anytime soon. Cadets had a uniform for daily wear, although we were encouraged to bring civilian clothing for any free time off Academy grounds that we may get.

“I can’t wait for snow. Never snows enough at home.” I replied as we walked out of the door, where Dad continued to demonstrate he was an old man and wrapped his arms around himself. It was probably 50 degrees out, not freezing at all. But there was a reason we lived in Georgia, and it wasn’t because of the peaches.

“I doubt you’ll have time for a snowball fight.” Dad unlocked his rental car and I climbed in the sedan. My bag was in the back, packed with whatever personal items I was allowed to bring. All other items would be issued by the Academy. There was a cell phone tucked into the bag, which would remain off during the first trimester, according to the rules. I almost expected them to confiscate it, but I guess they assumed we were adults and would behave as such.

It wasn’t like I had anyone to talk to anyways. Derek had dumped me a week earlier, and everyone else was off at college, doing college things. It was mostly there to call and update family when I could.

We arrived at the small airfield operated by the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps, the meeting grounds for the cadets heading to the Academy. We’d take a plane out to Kodiak Island and from there, our training would begin. I took a deep breath as I spotted the other cadets gathering in an area, herded by some PPDC personnel.

“I wish your mother could be here to see you off, too.” Dad said as we climbed out of the car. He pulled my bag from the back seat and handed it to me. I frowned at him as I slung the old olive green duffel bag over my shoulder. It used to be his, and I figured the PPDC would give me one emblazoned with their logo at some point, but for now, I was proud to carry one with the eagle, globe, and anchor of the United States Marine Corps.

“I don’t need her.” I told him. It still hurt, the things she said to me before she left. I’m not sure I wanted to ever forgive her for those.

“No….no you don’t. You didn’t need either of us. Never did.” Dad smiled at me and reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. My expression softened.

“I always need my Dad.” I replied and leaned forward to hug him. I had to get moving otherwise I’d never go. We embraced for a moment, and then separated and he cleared his throat.

“Better get moving, Ranger.” He nodded at me and I allowed myself to grin as I snapped to attention and tossed him a salute.

“Yes, sir!” He saluted back and I spun around and headed towards the crowd of waiting cadets.

* * *

 

They pushed us hard, but I expected that. The moment we stepped onto Academy grounds, instructors started drilling us. Some students didn’t know what to do, but I went to every camp offered to me in JROTC, and most of them were just like this. Commands shouted at us while we scrambled to keep up. Push ups in the cold mud, which turned into star jumps, back into push ups. All of this I could do easy enough. Sure, it was exhausting, but at least it was expected.

The instructors formed the group of 50 cadets into two groups and we had to stay in formation while we ran. I was a little hesitant about leaving my bag there, but it was tagged with my name, so I could find it again if I needed it. It wasn’t like I had anything worth stealing besides the phone anyways, and who’d take it besides the instructors?

The two mile run the instructors took us on was clearly some sort of test, as several cadets fell out quickly, and a few more throughout the rest of the run. This was still nothing I wasn’t prepared for. A five mile jog was a regular thing for me during the weeks leading up to this. I was glad I decided to wear a pair of boots instead of my running shoes, since they would have been soaked through thanks to the puddles of mud we were led through. Other cadets weren’t so lucky.

When we arrived back at the starting point, I noticed everyone’s things were gone. Some people started to complain and were swiftly reprimanded by the instructors. I wanted to smirk but I kept my face carefully blank. I knew how this went.

“Did none of you even prepare for this? Are you wasting our time? I thought you wanted to be part of the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps!” One of the instructors shouted. Nobody spoke.

“I believe I asked a question!” She shouted, louder this time. I decided to speak up.

“I prepared, ma’am.” I called back and watched as she focused on me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw some other cadets look relieved. I was giving them a target. Nobody wanted to be that target, but somebody had to.

“Oh yeah? And what did you do? Borrow Daddy’s combat boots?” She nodded down towards my feet, but I didn’t follow her gaze. I kept staring ahead, like they had taught us the first few days of my high school JROTC experience.

“No ma’am, I watched Full Metal Jacket.” There were some snickers at that. She turned to glare at them, stalking away from me.

“I don’t know what any of you expected here at the Jaeger Academy, but we make Rangers here. Some of you have not come here for that, some of you have come here to be a part of the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps in another way. But we hold all our officers to the same standard. You will all be treated as if you are Rangers. Is that understood?” She told all of us, her voice made of iron. Some of us, who knew the expected answer, replied with ‘ma’am, yes ma’am’. It was pretty obvious, to me and probably the instructors, who had military backgrounds, who would be a little harder to break.

“My God that was pathetic. Let’s try this again. Is that understood?” She growled, and this time there were more voices with the appropriate response.

“Better. Now, we’re going to fall out and I’ll be taking the ladies to their barracks. Lieutenant Moreau over there is going to be taking the men to theirs. If anyone feels like they’re not prepared to be a part of the PPDC, you may step out now, and we’ll make arrangements for you to get home.” She announced. Nobody moved.

“Good. Any questions?” I had one - what was her name? But I didn’t get to ask, since someone answered it for me.

“Lieutenant Meyers!” A man called from down the tarmac of the airstrip. The instructor turned to look, so I assumed her name was Meyers. A few turned to look, and behind me I heard a quiet groan.

“Marshall Pentecost. Ranger Hansen. I was about to take our new class inside.” Meyers said and I watched as two men came into my view. I bit the inside of my cheek. Rangers were celebrities, and here was one of my favorites in the flesh right in front of me.

I knew who Hercules Hansen was. How could I not? Lucky Seven was one of my favorite jaegers. I was surprised there was only one of them, as I had heard that co-pilots were rarely seen apart, but maybe the other was inside the building. Rangers pretty much had free reign of PPDC facilities.

“Classes keep getting smaller, don’t they?” Hansen said, running a critical eye over our assembled groups. I stood a little straighter, not wanting to be seen lacking by one of my heroes.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about it. We’ve got a few acceptable candidates, Marshall. You’ll have at least one new jaeger team by the end of it all.” Meyers assured him and I saw her eyes briefly turn to me. The instructors were watching us, I knew, and had seen how I kept up with them as best I could. My heart fluttered in my chest. Acceptable. Who knew that term would ever make me feel so happy?

“I’d imagine you do, Lieutenant.” The Marshall looked over us all, and he focused on whoever was standing behind me for a half second longer than anyone else. “Carry on.”

The Marshall and Ranger Hansen headed in towards the building, their voices fading away with the wind that was quickly picking up. I shivered slightly, wondering if maybe Dad was right and I should have had a jacket.

“Marshall Pentecost will be one of your instructors during your stay here at the Academy. It is also not unheard of for Rangers to step in during their free time and teach a class as well. Rangers Hercules and Scott Hansen are exceptional jaeger pilots and may be here to teach a combat class. “ Lieutenant Meyers said to us and looked up at the sky with a frown. Clouds were rolling in and I wondered if there would be storms.

“Which one?” I heard a man ask to my left. Meyers dropped her gaze to him.

“I don’t believe I asked for questions. Alright you lot, I want you to fall out and the ladies to form up in front of me. You have ten seconds to do it or we’re going on another run.” There was a scramble as the two units separated, the women moving over towards Meyers and the men moving to form up in front of Moreau, who was standing there with his arms crossed and an unimpressed look on his face.

“Ten seconds is generous. You’ve got five, gentlemen! Four! Three! Two! One!” He counted down while the guys shoved each other to get into the right position. I felt a sense of satisfaction when the women were in formation at the same time the men were.

“Ladies, with me. Forward, march!” Meyers called and we lurched forward, slightly less impressive now. Not many people knew what foot to start out on, and there were a few people tripping over their feet as they tried to match up to the cadence Meyers was calling as we marched forward.

All in all, this was exactly what I expected and I felt like I’d do just fine here.

* * *

 

Three weeks later, as I dropped into my bunk that night covered in bruises with my muscles screaming at me, I felt a little less confident about my abilities. I wished to go back to that first day when everything was so easy.

Every day they woke us for a two mile run before breakfast. Breakfast was a quick affair, with barely edible food that a few people had difficulty eating. I’d had worse and I knew I needed the nutrition, so I managed it, but I did miss coffee. I could smell it, and occasionally saw an instructor or Ranger walking by with a cup of it, but it didn’t seem available to cadets. Just another reason to push through this.

After breakfast was an hour of classes educating us on the procedures and etiquette expected of officers in the PPDC. I suppose they gave us that time so we all didn’t heave our guts up during the combat exercises immediately after that class.

Some of it was familiar. The instructors mixed it up, but I recognized some forms of taekwondo in there, and a few things they taught us in aikido. I wasn’t completely unprepared, but it was all taxing for me. I feel like the important thing they were teaching us was a discipline that jaeger combat required.

This discipline they called Jaeger Bushido and we were told that there were 52 forms we had to learn. I had picked up the forms in my other martial arts classes easily enough, so learning these would just be a matter of not confusing them all in my head.

After combat classes, which lasted four hours most days, we were given lunch. More classes. More combat training. More exercise. All of that was something most of us could handle.

Some cracked under that pressure, and there were a few people who washed out during the first week. It was hard. I didn’t blame them.

The pressure that was starting to get to me though, was the constant verbal abuse from the instructors. Pushed to our limits physically and mentally, a few more washed out from that. I could feel the strain of being woken up at ungodly hours of the morning to stand out in the cold and occasionally freezing rain to be shouted at or back in the kwoon for more combat practice. I knew it was their job to break us, to break the civilians so they could put Rangers, put officers in their place. Didn’t mean I had to like it when someone planted me face first into the the training mat with my arms wrenched behind me at three in the morning.

At least I wasn’t the only favorite target of the group. There was a kid who the instructors picked on as often as I got it. Kid was really the only thing I could call him, even though I was hardly an adult myself. Sixteen years old, the youngest cadet in the class, made him an easy target. Or so they thought.

I thought about drawing more attention to myself because I felt bad for him, I really did. At first it was because of his age, but he was able to grit his teeth and bear it when the instructors ordered him to do another twenty push ups because he was ‘young and full of energy’. But I started to wonder if they were being harder on him when I learned who he was.

“C’mon, Hansen, keep up. Daddy’s not around to hold your hand anymore.” The first time I heard one of the instructors use Chuck Hansen’s name was when we were in the kwoon. He was facing off against one of the instructors and he looked dead tired and about ready to drop from exhaustion. But at the mention of his father he straightened his spine and rage burned in his eyes. He lunged forward, attacking the instructor with an intensity that would have dropped probably anyone else in the room. It was clearly what the instructor wanted though, and was easily able to defend himself.

Later that night, as I lay in my bunk trying to find a position that wouldn’t press on too many bruises, my bunkmate spoke up.

“D’you think they give Chuck a hard time because his dad’s a Ranger?” Chell asked quietly so she didn’t disturb anyone else. Chell was a former teacher who was here with her husband, who had been sorted into the other group. She was hardly the only married couple here. Many people came here in pairs. Chell was still pretty young at 26 but neither had military backgrounds. Instead they both had fiery determination that matched her red hair. She assured us his beard was red as well, but all the men had to keep clean shaven while at the Academy.

“I hope not, for the kid’s sake. They pick on him enough for being as young as he is.” Maya said, laying in the bunk to the right of mine. She was the oldest woman here at 37 and had become something like a den mother for the girls. With her background in the British Army, she was one of the few who was doing alright with the harsh training.

Although alright was relative. I was barely surviving.

“He’s doing better than most. I think he’ll push through. Did you see him yesterday? Meyers and Moreau had to drag him out of the water before he drowned himself.” I spoke up. I admired his determination to see this through, his determination that he’d prove them all wrong.

“He doesn’t know his limits though.” Chell replied and I heard her shifting above me. We were all bruised and sore. One of the other guys in our class, Mark, had sprained his ankle pretty badly and a hairline fracture in his wrist but was pushing through. He was British SAS and came in with Maya.

“Or maybe he just hasn’t reached them yet. Get some sleep. I’d bet my house that they’re going to wake us up in a few hours.” Maya replied. I heard Chell sigh and I turned over again.

Maya turned out to be right, and the instructors led us outside, where thankfully the skies were clear. It was still cold as all hell though. It wasn’t long until our teeth were chattering.

My thankfulness at the clear skies didn’t last long. The instructors were leading us at a brisk pace to the shoreline. It was goddamn November and they wanted us to go for a swim?

“Alright cadets. Anyone brave enough to take the plunge?” Moreau called with a wicked grin. Nobody moved. This was clearly some kind of test. Had to be.

Well, I came to the Jaeger Academy to be a Ranger. If they expected us to pilot jaegers, we had to be tough as nails. Swimming was mandatory knowledge for all PPDC personnel. Rangers were actually out in this freezing water in their jaegers. If they had to abandon it for some reason, might as well know what you’re getting into, right?

“I am, Lieutenant.” I called and despite our ranks, heads turned and looked at me. They wouldn’t let me die out there. I hoped. It was a test, to see if anyone had the courage. Well, I did. I hoped I did.

“Me too.” From his place behind me, I heard Chuck speak up. Secretly I was pleased. At least I wasn’t going in alone.

“I’ve gone ice swimming in Russia, can’t be any harder than that.” Mark called and I heard Maya sigh from her place farther down in the unit.

“Count me in too.” She said and I smiled now. I knew the two of them were here to be jaeger pilots. Chuck and I were too. Was anyone else here to be a Ranger?

“What do you say, Leon? We came to be Rangers, right?” Chell called. Her husband laughed and replied in heavily accented English.

“Anywhere with you, chéri.” Leon called back with a cheerful tone.

“Anyone else?” Meyers called. Two other pairs stepped up, a set of brothers who I think were called Chris and Jacob, and a pair that I think were cousins but nobody had ever asked. They kept mostly to themselves. I wasn’t even sure of their names.

“Alright then. Link your arms up so you don’t get lost and hop on it. The water is lovely this time of year.” Moreau shouted and we broke ranks and headed towards the surf. At the water’s edge, I turned and looked at Chuck who was staring at me with a little apprehension on his face. I put on a brave face and offered my arm and he slid his through mine. On my other side, I felt Chell link her arm to mine and she offered me a happy face. Anywhere Leon was, she was happy.

“Bet my old man is having a laugh at this.” Chuck grumbled and I turned back to him. I didn’t see Ranger Hansen around, and Lucky Seven wasn’t even in one of the Shatterdome bays (last we heard, they were back in Sydney) so I couldn’t imagine why he was worried about his dad. Trying to live up to the impressive legend that the two elder Hansens had established, maybe?

“No guts, no glory, kid.” I said to him, dragging him into the surf. Everyone in the line was gasping in shock with the cold water and we weren’t even up to our waist yet. The cousins backed out when we reached that depth, but the rest of us continued on. Leon and I pulled Chell along with us, feeling her hesitation, and on my other side Chuck was cursing up a storm between his chattering teeth. Farther down the line I heard Maya and her refusal to go any farther and Mark urging her on. How any of them were able to talk I’m not sure.

I got to chest depth before I planted my feet and refused to go any farther. The water splashing around us had already soaked us head to toe, but I wasn’t about to go for broke and dunk my head. The cold was just about unbearable and it was making it hard to think. I looked down the line and saw Mark drop beneath the surface for a split second, raising his head and shaking the water away with a shout.

“It’s bloody cold!”

“N-not sure what g-gave you that idea.” Chell shouted back, leaning into Leon.

I don’t know how long we were out in the water before I felt someone tugging me back towards the shore. At least, I hoped it was the shore.

“C’mon you, I’m not letting you drown me out here.” Chuck pulled on his arm and I felt him wrap his arm around my shoulders instead, guiding me back on to the beach. The instructors were saying something, but all I could think about was the marginally warmer body next to mine and the knowledge that getting out of the water meant going somewhere warmer.

We were wrapped in blankets and I remember being herded into a truck, where I assumed they were taking us back to the Academy to warm up. It was hard to concentrate over the shivering. I was convinced my teeth were going to rattle out of my head.

That had to be the hardest thing we ever did here at the Academy, right?

* * *

 

More weeks went by, the days becoming an aching, stressful blur. It was all coming to an end though. The instructors still pushed us. We improved. There were no more cold water sessions, although there were some other demanding trials. But there was a noticeable shift in the way we acted towards each other. It became obvious who the candidates were for the next part of training. We were pairing off, choosing our potential co-pilots.

Mark Reed and Maya Cadle were almost inseparable, and I wondered about those two. Were they a couple? Close friends? They weren’t close relatives, at least judging by their complexions. Mark was fair where Maya had lovely olive skin that I admired. I mean, for all I knew they could have been raised together like siblings. There was no telling with these two. I could ask, but in the end it wasn’t really my business.

Chell and Leon Blanchett were the only couple who bore all the trials with a smile on their face. Well, most of the time. It’s kind of hard to smile when you’re pressed face down into the mats on the floor after the instructors have taken you down for the fourth time. Chell was a surprise with the hanbō though, and she was the first to score a hit against any of the instructors with it. She was lightning fast.

Chris and Jacob Cook were both pretty smart guys and I felt like if Ranger training fell through for them, any jaeger tech crew would love to have them on. They excelled in all of the the classrooms except the combat ones, where they were having difficulty learning the forms required of us.

The cousins, I learned, were called Rin Hishida and Ryota Makuda and they were also pretty smart. Rin was the more clever one and managed to keep the instructors guessing in combat, although she was ultimately beaten. I felt like she’d be great in a jaeger. The kaiju would never know what hit them. Ryota was calm and thought out his strategy in great length before he moved, and did the same thing with his words.

And then there was me and Chuck, and I wasn’t sure what to think about that one. He didn’t speak much to me, except to tell me off when I called him kid, but whenever it came down to it, we worked well together. In two on two combat versus another pair, Chuck and I always won. We didn’t get much time to speak though, to get to know each other better, but I suppose that was what next term was for. Any time we were together now, we were either out of breath or a in a class that wasn’t allowing us to speak at all.

Still, I was optimistic about it. If Chuck and I weren’t compatible together, I’m sure someone else was. The instructors made sure to keep telling us that just because we were partners didn’t mean we were compatible, a fact that seemed to upset Chris and Jacob just a little bit.

One week before the end of the first trimester, as we were all sitting in the mess hall trying to scarf down lunch, Lieutenant Moreau pulled Mark out of the room. We were all curious but weren’t given time to talk about it, as Meyers came in and hustled us all to our next class. Mark was absent for the rest of the day, and Maya was late to our combat lessons when she went to find him.

Later that night in the barracks, Maya told us that he had been called home when his wife was killed in a car accident, leaving their children without anyone to care for them. Naturally, he had to leave.

At least that helped me narrow down my options when it came to their relationship. She was a bit saddened, and someone asked her who her partner would be now. She didn’t have an answer but chances were, someone was compatible.

Finally, the end of the first trimester came, just a few days before Halloween. We’d be given a week of leave to rest, recuperate, or whatever we deemed necessary. Some were choosing to go home. I’d probably stay in Alaska and spend my time catching up on some reading, familiarizing myself with the texts that went with next term. We were told that the next trimester would be less physical but no less demanding. I had always been good at school, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

As our instructors walked us through a small ceremony congratulating us on the milestone we just accomplished, all I could think about was calling Dad and telling him how it went. I’m sure he could relate to my issues, having done basic training himself. Marshall Pentecost was there, giving some speech about the trials still to come for us Ranger hopefuls.

We did one final march across the grounds in our dress uniforms, turning our heads and saluting as we passed by the Marshall and the gathered officers. And then we were free. For a week, at least.

Maya planned on staying in Alaska as well, since airfare back home was expensive. We had some cash, as we were being paid while in training, and she booked a hotel suite back in Anchorage, since I wasn’t old enough yet to book my own. Chell and Leon booked their own room, and I imagined that we wouldn’t see them for most of the week.

I gathered my things and waited for most of the others to filter out before I sought out Maya. Plenty of the cadets were eager to get home and I didn’t feel like getting trampled. I found Chuck sitting by himself in the mess hall, head in one hand and apparently deep in thought. I dropped my bag loudly on the table (this one with the PPDC logo, although my dad’s Marine Corps bag was carefully rolled up and placed inside) and dropped in the seat across from him. He blinked up at me.

“So, what are your plans?” I asked him and he shrugged and looked around the empty room.

“Probably stick around here. Don’t have anywhere else to be.” He spun a cell phone around in his free hand and I wondered if he had called his father.

“Don’t be boring. Come with us.” I offered. Maya had said she reserved a two-room suite, in case anyone else tagged along. I’m sure she was assuming I’d invite some of the other girls, but I didn’t see any of them and I wasn't about to leave Chuck by himself. “Maya and I got a suite back in Anchorage. Chell and Leon have a room too, and I think Rin and Ryoto are sticking around too.”

“Not sure how that’s not boring.” He muttered and I rolled my eyes.

“C’mon. You can’t tell me that it isn’t every teenage guy’s dream to share a hotel room with two pretty women?” I’d have to go soon if I wanted to catch the plane back into Anchorage, I was supposed to meet Maya outside and it was pretty cold today, so I didn’t want her to wait forever.

“Maya is my father’s age.” He said flatly. I sighed and stood up.

“Well, I’m gonna go catch the flight back to Anchorage. If you decide you want to join us, give me a call.” I pulled a pen from a pocket on my bag and tugged his hand forward to jot my number down on it, as I didn’t have any paper handy.

“What is this, high school?” He grumbled but didn’t make any attempt to rub the number off. I shrugged and put the pen away and threw my bag over my shoulder.

“See you, Chuck.” I waved and made my way outside. Maya was standing on the tarmac next to Rin and Ryoto, and I could see Chell and Leon just ahead of me. A small aircraft sat waiting for us and I couldn’t wait to get settled in at the hotel  to call Dad.

“Is this all of us?”Maya asked when I got close enough, and I just shrugged.

“Probably. We shouldn’t keep the pilots waiting.” Chell said, giving one last look back at the Academy. There was one person coming through the door and I grinned.

“Looks like Chuck is joining us.”

* * *

 

After we checked into our rooms, I dropped onto the bed with a groan. I knew I should call Dad, but right now i just wanted to sleep for the whole week. I couldn’t even properly appreciate the hotel room. Maya had given Chuck the one-bed room, despite it being the master bedroom while we shared the two bed room. She said it was the proper thing to do. Couldn’t have two teenagers in the same room and expect them not to do the horizontal tango or something.

“I don’t want your fathers coming to me when one of you ends up pregnant.” Maya explained. I sighed and Chuck rolled his eyes.

“Like I’d risk my one chance at getting into a jaeger on a baby. No thanks.” I said but she stood fast on the issue. It wasn’t that I wanted to share a room with Chuck, it was more along the lines of her paying for the thing, so naturally she should get the biggest bed.

The three of us slept for most of the next 12 hours, although I was up at 5 AM since that was what my body was used to. I settled myself in the sitting room, putting on a pot of coffee and practically coming to tears over the scent. I considered calling Dad and checked the local time in Georgia. It was a little after 9 AM, and I was certain he’d be awake.

“Gemma! Sweetheart! How was it?” He answered the phone happily, and we chatted about the first trimester of my training while I sipped on coffee and flipped through the reference material we were given for our next trimester. Jaeger tech and kaiju science, along with more policies and procedures and Drift training. That was the part I was most apprehensive about. Letting someone into my head sounded uncomfortable, but it was part of being a Ranger, and I was willing to try anything to let that happen.

“I knew you could do it, Gemma. If you put yourself completely into anything, you can’t fail.” Dad assured me, and I smiled. I knew he had faith that I’d complete the training, despite his hesitation at me being a jaeger pilot.

Chuck shuffled out of his room a little while later, while I was still on the phone, giving me a bleary stare as he sniffed the air. His hair stuck up in all directions and he scratched at his bare stomach absently. It was more than a little adorable and I grinned.

“Coffee?” He asked and I pointed towards the pot on the counter in the kitchenette. He grunted in thanks and moved towards the pot.

“Made it about 20 minutes ago. Not great, but it’s coffee.” I replied, lifting my own mug and taking another sip.

“Gem….why is there a boy in your hotel room?” I heard Dad ask and I laughed.

“It’s Chuck. He was one of the cadets in my group. Maya and I invited him along for the week instead of him spending it by himself at the Academy. Don’t worry, Maya’s playing house mother and keeping an eye on us.” I told Dad, picking up another packet of reading material. This one was on drift science.

“You know that house mothers are in strip clubs, right? That’s not exactly comforting.” Dad replied. I’m not entirely sure how Dad came about that knowledge and I didn’t really want to know.

“They’re also in sororities. Listen, I hear Maya waking up, I’m gonna let you go so we can go find breakfast. “ I told him when I heard Maya’s feet hit the ground in the next room.

“You mean she’s not even awake?” Dad squawked. I laughed again.

“Love you, old man.”

“Behave, Gemma. Call me when you can.” We ended the call and I set the phone aside just as Chuck dropped himself onto a chair, a steaming mug in his hands.

The day went by at a relaxed pace, the three of us catching up on getting to know each other, and inviting Rin and Ryoto over when they finally crawled out of bed. Nobody had heard from Chell and Leon since we checked in, but they were probably doing what married couples do after being physically separated for a while.

I learned that Rin and Ryoto were from a small town in Japan and had grown up next door to each other. They had other siblings but the two were close and wanted to give the Jaeger Academy a try. Rin liked to sing and Ryoto was a fan of American tv shows, something we chatted about for a while. Neither had lost any family to the kaiju, but being an island nation they knew it was only right to do what they could to protect it.

Maya told us that she was born in Newcastle, England, but grew up in Germany. She had been in Cabo San Lucas on vacation with Mark and his wife when the kaiju attacked there, and had only barely made it out alive. She had seen firsthand the destruction the kaiju could dish out and felt that she had what it took to stop it, although she hadn’t exactly fessed up on why she was just now joining the Jaeger Academy instead of when it first started accepting students.

I shared my story, as unimpressive as it was. Still, I guess it was something that stuck with me as a kid. My whole teenage life revolved around becoming a jaeger pilot, and here I was, trying to accomplish my dream.

“What about you, Chuck? Why’d you sign up?” Maya asked Chuck after I was done. I heard the unspoken question there.

“Scissure attacked Sydney when I was eleven. Killed my mum. Spent more time around jaegers than family after that. Made sense.” He was short with his answer and wasn’t looking at anyone when he spoke, instead staring out the window. His hands were curled into fists in his lap. **  
**

“Sorry to hear that.” I said and he nodded briefly and looked back at all of us, his expression guarded. Maya deftly changed the subject, taking us into a discussion about the Drift.

The next few days went by at the same pace, with Chell and Leon joining us for a few hours on the fourth day when we all gathered together with some candy and snacks to watch whatever horror movies were on the tv in honor of Halloween. Chuck and I were the youngest there, and not of legal drinking age in the United States, so we were sipping on sodas while the others had beers, although Rin and Ryoto didn’t much care for it and instead drank wine with Chell.

“I don’t agree with your country’s drinking age. At 16, we could drink beer and wine in Germany. Anything harder you had to be 18.” Maya said after the first movie. I shrugged. I was used to it by now, although I was allowed to drink it at home on occasion. I had grown to like my Dad’s martinis as well.

“If you notice, nothing our government does makes any sense.” Chell said, sipping from her glass of white wine. Sometimes I forgot that Chell was American as well, coming from New Hampshire. She had moved to France when she married Leon and was beginning to speak similar to him, often lapsing into French on accident when speaking to him.

“Nothing anyone’s government does makes any sense.” Maya replied. We could all agree with that. More snacks were passed around and the second movie started.

The fifth day was spent by going through our reading material with Maya and Chuck. We quizzed each other on how much we already knew, and I wasn’t surprised that Chuck had quite a bit of knowledge about jaegers and how they worked. Chuck had gotten up to take a nap somewhere around two in the afternoon, muttering something about a headache, so Maya and I were on our own for a while.

At around four, there was a knock on the door. We expected Rin and Ryoto, but instead Ranger Hercules Hansen was at the door, which was a surprise to say the least. Maya let him in with a smile, and he looked cautiously around, as if someone was playing a trick on him. I managed to contain my excitement at one of my favorites standing in front of me again. I could fangirl over them when I was a Ranger, not a cadet.

“Just looking for Chuck. He….is here, right?”

“Oh yeah, he’s just in there.” Maya moved towards Chuck’s room when the door was wrenched open and Chuck stumbled out, tugging a shirt on. I’d like to say I wasn’t looking, but I was and I felt just a little disappointed when his torso disappeared underneath the worn grey henley. Sure, he was sixteen and I really wasn’t interested in younger guys, especially one who might be my partner in combat one day.

But no shame in looking, right? Maybe just a little. I mean, he did keep himself in really nice shape.

“Right here. Overslept.” He said, reaching for his sweater draped over one of the chairs and he pulled that on. Our coats were hung up on the convenient coat rack.

“What, no goodbye?” I asked when he moved for the door. Ranger Hansen just had this resigned look on his face and was following his son out the door. Chuck paused and looked back at us.

“I’ll be back…..sometime. Just going out to dinner with my old man.” Chuck smirked over at his father. Ranger Hansen closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath, apparently trying to stay calm.

“Don’t call me that. And your uncle is joining us.” Ranger Hansen said evenly. Chuck shoved his feet into his boots and laced them up quickly.

“Gemma says the same to her dad.” Chuck replied after he straightened.

“My dad is fifty-five. Kind of earned it. Enjoy your evening, Ranger Hansen.” I said politely, glaring at Chuck, who was clearly being rude for the hell of it.

“Whatever.” Chuck replied, opening the suite door and stepping out into the hallway.

“Right. You too, ladies. I’ll try not to strangle him on the way back.” Ranger Hansen followed Chuck out the door and it closed with a soft click behind them. Maya went over and locked it behind them and came back over to sit with me.

“I’m not sure they get along so well.” I said, setting aside the book I was reading. Maya shrugged.

“You heard him when we were getting to know each other. After his mother died, he spent more time with the jaegers than he did with his father. There’s a reason in there somewhere.” She replied, flipping on the television again.

“Or maybe he’s just a brat.” I went back to my book while Maya was scrolling through the channels. She wasn’t staying on any one channel for more than a few seconds, trying to find something to watch that looked entertaining. I was reading about the neural interfaces used to establish the drift when a line of dialogue caught my attention.

_“Gentlemen, this school is about combat. There are no points for second place.”_ Maya flipped to the next channel and I almost fell off the sofa in my excitement.

“No, go back! Go back!” I exclaimed, and she changed the channel back, startled.

“What is this?” She asked and I just stared at her.

“You’ve never seen Top Gun?” She was older than me, how was that possible?

“No, but you apparently love this movie, so we’ll watch it.” She settled into her chair and set the remote aside. I grinned, put the book aside again, and laid back on the sofa, draping my legs over one of the arms since only a toddler could lay flat comfortably on one of these things. This movie was my comfort food. Whenever I felt down or was in a bad mood, Top Gun was played and I curled up in bed to watch it. It seemed like a good idea now, as a way to relax.

* * *

 

Our brief vacation was over quicker than any of us thought it would be. We packed up our things and laid our uniforms out to put on the next morning. I caught Chuck stashing a bit of the leftover candy from Halloween in his bag. He looked up when I cleared my throat, leaning in the doorway of his room, wearing an expression I had last seen when I hit a deer with my car coming home one night.

“Our secret, Hansen.” I smiled at him, handed over the sweater he left in the sitting room, and went back to double check that I had packed everything.

Before we went to bed to enjoy the last eight hours of solid sleep we’d get for a while, Chell, Leon, Rin and Ryoto joined us, and we discussed what we thought might be waiting for us. I imagined they’d start us with the J-tech and K-science classes, and towards the end of the trimester, they’d start focusing on Drifting and Compatibility, which would give them enough time to see if we retained the knowledge from the first set of classes.

“If we have any free time and access to the kwoon, we should meet together and practice.” Rin suggested, an idea everyone could get behind. Chell said she’d ask around for any of the other students who advanced on with us and invite them too.

“We know that part of the way pilots are chosen is their physical compatibility. We could get a head start before the instructors, try and figure it out on our own.” Leon said and Chuck arched an eyebrow at him.

“Mate, I’d imagine you and your wife are quite physically compatible, if your neck is anything to go by.” We had all been trying to ignore the hickeys that poked up from underneath Leon’s collar. Chell turned red but Leon just grinned.

“What can I say? I like it rough.” Leon replied with a laugh.We all chuckled at that and Chell buried her face in her hands.

“At least somebody’s gettin’ some.” I muttered, for the first time missing Derek. We fought a lot over the summer, before he dumped me, but that was one thing we did well. I smiled a bit, thinking about the time Dad came home early and found me in Derek’s lap on the sofa and my blouse on the floor. He was less than pleased, and we had an uncomfortable conversation about contraception after that, but it was an amusing memory.

“Got a boyfriend back home you’re missing?” Maya asked and I pulled myself out of my memories.

“No, not anymore. He dumped me before I came here. Wasn’t pretty. Free agent these days. Probably for the best.” I said with a shrug of my shoulders. It stung, but the Academy was doing a pretty good job of keeping me from dwelling on it.

“You’re young, you have plenty of time for love.” Leon commented. Maya leveled a stare over at him.

“You’re twenty seven. Still a young one too.”

“Just wait until we’re jaeger pilots. The jaegerflies will be out in droves. ” Chuck said, leaning back in his chair with a smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes at him.

“None for us, I think. Chell is a jealous woman.” Leon said, wrapping his arm around his wife’s shoulders. I grinned.

“She’ll be the next Sasha Kaidonovsky. You all remember when she knocked out the one reporter who kissed her husband’s cheek?” I said and there were laughs all around at both the memory and the mental image of Chell’s possessiveness.

At around nine PM, Rin and Ryoto left to get as much sleep as they could, Chell and Leon following the two Japanese cadets out the door. It was obvious as to what was on their mind with Leon’s arm wrapped possessively around Chell’s waist.

“Bonne nuit, my friends.” He called as the door closed. Chuck locked it tight behind them and stifled a yawn.

“We should be getting to bed too. There’s another long eight weeks ahead of us.” Maya stood up and stretched. I followed her, calling goodnight to Chuck as he went into his own room. Stripping down to a T-shirt, I climbed into bed and settled in. Most of the aches had faded and my bruises were now a ugly yellow and purple as they healed and I wasn’t relishing the idea of getting more.

But I was that much closer to being a jaeger pilot, and for that, I’d endure another eight hard weeks of combat training. Hell, I’d do 16 weeks if I had to. It’d all be worth it in the end. I started thinking about whether I’d be given a jaeger with a name or a new one with the opportunity to name it myself. Obviously my co-pilot would have a say in the name, but it couldn’t hurt tossing ideas around for one now, could it?

Names floated through my head as I drifted to sleep, lulled to relaxation by the sounds of the wind howling outside.

****  
  



	3. Anchorage, Alaska November 3rd, 2019 - December 20th, 2019

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second semester of the Jaeger Academy begins and with it a whole new set of challenges. Still, Gemma flourishes in this environment and she gets closer to some of her classmates. The remaining cadets also experience what it's like to listen in to a jaeger drop during a kaiju event, but the jaegers deployed place some additional stress on certain students.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief note: I've worked out some radio chatter between jaegers later on in the chapter. While it would be clear to the students listening who was talking, it was a little harder to make that clear with text, so beside each snippet of conversation are the initials of who is speaking, just to make it easier on you guys as you read it.
> 
> Also, naming jaegers is hard!

I’d like to say that there wasn’t some apprehension stepping back onto Academy grounds, but instead of instructors meeting us with shouted orders, Lieutenant Meyers was waiting for us with a happy smile. Better than expected.

“I’ll keep this short, ladies and gentlemen, since it’s pretty damn cold out. Look around you, you’ll notice that the group is considerably smaller than when you left. Some didn’t make the cut, even after enduring those eight weeks. It happens. They didn’t have what we were looking for. Some have gone on to fill other positions within the PPDC, ones that don’t require the special training we require of our techs and our Rangers.” Meyers said and relaxed her stance. I was ready to drop my bag and comply to whatever orders she had for us, despite her genial tone. But I glanced around at the group and saw that it was smaller. There were maybe twenty of us now.

“This term you’ll be dealing with a mostly classroom setting. Think college, but ten times harder. The science behind the jaegers, the kaiju and the drift isn’t easy to learn in eight weeks, but anyone within the top twenty percent of the class will be allowed to continue on to be Rangers. Techs, well, you have to be our best and brightest. We expect top ten from you.” Well, that was certainly a challenging prospect. I was in the top thirty percent of my class in high school, but I had four years to work on that, not eight weeks.

“You’ll also be expected to maintain your physical fitness and will attend a two-hour combat class each day. However, you have less restrictions and can come and go about the Academy as you please, barring certain areas. You’ve also been consolidated into one barracks. I know that some of you are young, but please restrain the temptation to engage in any…intimate activities. I’m sure your bunkmates will appreciate it.” Meyers crossed her arms over her chest, shivering in her jacket.

“Any questions, or can we get inside?” She asked and Chris raised his hand hesitantly.

“You’re kidding me with the hand thing, right?” Meyers asked and he dropped it quickly. “Go ahead, Cook. What’s your question? Be quick, there’s a pot of coffee in there with your names on it.”

“Um….you’re serious, right? No more 3 AM dips in the ocean? Ma’am.” He asked. Meyers grinned and her eyes sparkled.

“I wouldn’t go that far. C’mon. You’ve got a lot to get started with.” She led them inside and I noticed she was a lot friendlier now. We weren’t recruits anymore, she could be. Her job was done.

Settled into the barracks, coffee was passed around and Meyers started handing out a schedule that outlined what classes we’d be taking. It was a basic syllabus for this term, similar to what teachers would be handing out in college. At least, that’s how I imagined it. Compared to last term, this would be a piece of cake, as long as I could keep up with the course work.

“So, looks like starting after lunch today, we get right into kaiju science. Sounds like a blast.” I said, remembering all the biology information I flipped through back at the hotel.

“I don’t like how we have to wait for the last three weeks to start Drift science and compatibility testing.” Chell said. I grinned. I was right with my guess on how the classes would be laid out.

“Saving the best for last, looks like. Some of us already have an idea of who we’re compatible with, right?” Maya said. I just shrugged.

“I have a vague idea. How about this? We’ve got a couple of hours before lunch, lets see if we can get into the kwoon and do some one - on - one sparring. Start eliminating candidates. We can draw up some kind of bracket so everyone gets a go at someone at least once.” Jacob spoke up. There was murmured assent from most of the others.

“You guys go ahead. I’m here to be a tech. Don’t need to know who I’m compatible with.” One of the other girls said (Sarah, maybe? I’m not too great with names). A few others agreed with her.

In the kwoon, we started off with Rin and Ryoto facing off against each other. It made sense, let the established partners have a go at each other and see what happened. To absolutely no one’s surprise, they were evenly matched. Chell and Leon went next, and while she ended up on top of Leon at the end, it was a close thing. Leon didn’t pull his punches, so to speak.

“How about you and Chuck next?” Maya said, tossing me a hanbō. I caught it easily and looked over at Chuck, who shrugged and picked up one of his own.

I want to say I won. I want to say we were evenly matched. I want to say anything that didn’t actually happen.

What actually happened was he completely and totally wiped the floor with me. It was embarrassing. At the end of it I dropped my hanbō and he used the opportunity to use his to pin my hands to the mat, knees on either side of my chest. The room was silent and he looked down at me with a smirk.

“Don’t get used to the view, Hansen. I prefer to be on top.” I said, irritated, and he moved off me so I could get up, still with that annoying smirk on his face.

“I think I’d like that view better.” He returned, stepping aside so the next pair could spar and I moved to the opposite wall with a surly look on my face. Maya shook her head and rolled her eyes and stepped onto the mat.

I wasn’t used to losing. I mean, I was, against the instructors, but I felt like I should have been able to hold my own against Chuck. It was embarrassing, with all my prowess, to lose to him. He had to have been cheating somehow. Something distracted me. I was just having a bad day.

Of course, making up excuses didn’t help. We cleared the room shortly after and headed off for lunch, which was exactly the same borderline inedible food it had been before, but at least we were in a more relaxed environment to eat. There was no real rush, as we had forty-five minutes now, instead of the fifteen the instructors gave us if we were lucky. And then it was off to classes, starting with kaiju science taught by members of the PPDC Research and Development team.

It wasn’t boring. They jumped right into it, detailing the biology of the kaiju. Why the blood was toxic, what their physical makeup was. It was all laid out for us. Especially those of us who’d be Rangers. It was useful to know what things hurt them more than others, weak spots that were common on all kaiju.

The jaeger tech classes were also pretty interesting, but I could tell I’d have to work really hard to keep up with that. It was all engineering and computer science and nothing I was really skilled at. Biology and literature had always been my thing. I briefly considered asking Chuck to be my study partner, but I was still a little pissed off at losing so I didn’t bother when we stepped out of that class.

Besides the combat classes and the twenty people in one shared area, it was pretty much how I expected college to be. Some type of military college. I knew a few people who were going to the Naval Academy and West Point after high school. I'm sure they were facing similar issues. Except the late night dip in the ocean. I'd eat my socks if the other schools did that.

After a relaxed dinner, a handful of us decided to go and explore, since we didn’t have a lights-out time anymore, although it was strongly suggested that we all tuck in at the same time so we didn’t disturb the others.

“Hey look. It’s like a study room!” Rin called, learning through one door. We all poked our head in and found a small room with an assortment of chairs and tables. It looked like a conference room save for the few cushy looking chairs in one corner surrounded by a low coffee table.

“Hmm. Might be why it says as much on the door.” I teased and Rin rolled her eyes at me with a grin. We moved on down the hall. There were a couple of similar rooms and two conference rooms on this hall, and we went upstairs to see what else we could get our hands on. Turns out, we could get our hands on a lot.

Upstairs was what looked like a proper lounge, with a tv screen on one wall and a few electronic games on the other. Sofas and chairs were arranged in the room and on one of them, Lieutenant Moreau was sitting, reading something on a tablet. When we opened the door he glanced up at us and groaned.

“Shit. Meyers isn’t gonna let me hear the end of this.” He said, and we all looked at each other wondering what he could possibly mean. He stood from the sofa and reached into his back pocket and pulled out a worn leather wallet.

“I believe it it was fifty, wasn’t it, Jeff?” Someone spoke from behind us and we whipped around to see Lieutenant Meyers, looking almost casual with a soft looking dark blue sweater pulled over her uniform.

“Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the rec room, guys. Take a seat, let us show you how it all works, and I can sit here and eat crow, because I was convinced you guys wouldn’t think to explore for another week at least.” Lieutenant Moreau said, pulling some cash from his wallet.

“So we’re allowed to be here?” Chell asked. Meyers herded us into the room and the door closed behind her. I noticed the room was chillier than some of the others, which would explain why Meyers was wearing a sweater.

“Oh yeah. After your first eight weeks, you’re pretty much given free reign. Obviously the Shatterdome itself is off limits unless you’re escorted, but between you and me, there’s not much to see. I mean, sure, the jaegers themselves are cool, but the Rangers are pretty territorial.” Moreau said and handed over the money.

“They’re braver than you give them credit for. They have to be to willingly step into a jaeger. How many teams do you think we’re getting from this class?” Meyers tucked the money in her pocket and dropped down on a sofa. The group of us weren’t quite sure what to do.

“Well, Miss Full Metal Jacket over here seems pretty damned determined. And those two I’d be willing to bet have the strongest drift compatibility.” Moreau pointed at Chell and Leon and they both glowed under the praise. I smirked at my nickname.

“Hmm. I think you’re right. C’mon guys, sit down. Lets have a chat.” Meyers waved us over and cautiously we moved over. I mean, this might have been a trick, but now I was reasonably certain that they weren’t about to start ordering us to do pushups.

Maya settled herself on one end of a couch, Chell and Leon occupying the other end. I settled in a chair, Chuck  sitting in one next to me, and Rin and Ryoto settled onto an ottoman next to each other.

“Honestly, all of you could be Rangers. You all have the perseverance to push through anything we could throw at you and come out the other end. You’ll need that with the kaiju. They’re relentless, they don’t give up until they’re dead. Some of you know this. Your biggest hurdles now are finding partners.” She said, leaning forward on her arms. We all stayed silent, giving her our complete attention.

“Some of you came here with partners. Maya, yours left. But don’t get discouraged. You never know. Chuck over there could be a perfect Drift match. You also need to be aware that you might not find one. There’s no shame in it, all our minds are different and sometimes they don’t play well with each other. It happens in sibling pairs too. One can’t handle the other’s memories, they’ll see something about the other they didn’t know. Keeping secrets from your partner is the surest way to ruin a Drift.” Meyers continued. I wondered who I’d be compatible with. Maya and I shared a similar mindset about most things and I didn’t have any secrets I was ashamed of or wanted to hide.

“Chell and I, we share everything with one another. There is nothing she does not know about me.” Leon said and Meyers turned her attention to them.

“That’s definitely a start. How well your minds play together will be the determining factor. Married couples piloting jaegers is not unheard of. Sasha and Aleksis Kaidonovsky are favorites, but lets not forget Kaori and Duc Jessop and Emily and Lora Koch.” She replied. The Kaidonovskys were favorites as the first husband and wife team stepping into a jaeger. For a while, I had a notion of convincing Derek to come with me to the Academy and maybe we’d be pilots together. It was all romanticised in my head, but I know now it wouldn’t have worked at all.

“Oh, hey. I don’t know if you guys heard, but they launched the first Mark 5 jaeger yesterday. No pilots yet, I think they’re waiting on this class to graduate.” Lieutenant Moreau said, tapping quickly on his tablet. He turned it around after a moment and showed us the front of it.

“We haven’t been told anything, but I’d be willing to bet whoever gets top marks throughout this class will be given this jaeger.” Moreau said, and we all crowded closer to get a better look.

“I heard about this one! It’s got chest mounted anti-kaiju missiles!” Maya said, a covetous look on her face. It was a nice looking jaeger, very sleek and lethal looking. I could see why she wanted it.

“It’s an Aussie jaeger. They’ll want a couple of locals in it.” Chuck said, settling back in his seat looking pretty confident of himself. He was probably right, most countries wanted pilots of that nationality in their jaegers. It didn’t always happen that way though.

“Looks like you’ll have to work pretty hard then, won’t you, Hansen?” Meyers said and he shrugged. The arrogance of teenage boys was legendary, and for a brief moment I was reminded of my brother and his confidence that he would be ready for the Academy.. I know now he wouldn’t have made it past the first week.

“Who’s gonna be your co-pilot? You’re the only Australian here.” Ryoto said. Chuck shrugged again, unworried.

“I’m sure the Marshall has a plan.”

“Well, the rest of you shouldn’t be too discouraged. I hear there are also three Mark 4 jaegers just off the assembly line that are waiting for this class.” Meyers told us. I’d be happy with a Mark 4 jaeger. I’d be happy with any jaeger, really.

“What happens if there are more pilots graduating than there are jaegers?” Chell asked. It was a good question, one i hadn’t thought of.

“If there are more pilots than there are jaegers, the older jaeger pilots are given the opportunity to retire. Most don’t take it, but some of the earlier generation jaeger pilots have, wanting to limit their exposure to the radiation. Metharocin only does so much.” Meyers answered. We all knew about the risks from the nuclear reactors of the earlier jaegers. I wasn’t sure what type of power plant the mark 4 and 5 jaegers have but I suppose I’ll learn our classes.

Our conversation with our two instructors continued for another few hours, asking anything we could think of. Meyers and Moreau had been here since the Academy had been here since the first class and had answers for any scenario that could possibly happen. It was an eye opening experience and I could see myself being friends with these two outside of the Academy. The type to go get a beer with. Once I was old enough, that is.

We excused yourself at around 10PM to go get some sleep, as our classes started at 7AM. When we arrived back to the barracks, the others were already preparing for bed, dressed in sweats and long-sleeved thermals. The barracks were just as chilly as the lounge had been, and I wanted to dress quickly and get in bed.

Maya started to strip down out of her uniform at the foot of her bunk, where her locker sat and most of us looked away. I was going to go to the bathroom and change. There were men in the room now, I couldn’t just take my clothes off in front of them.

“Oh, come on. We’re all adults here, right? Let’s act like it.” She said, tugging her sweats on and reaching for the sweater she usually slept in. It was a soft dark blue sweater emblazoned with the PPDC logo on both shoulders.

I clutched my clothes to my chest and looked at Chell, who shrugged and started to follow Maya’s example. Leon mimicked his wife. Ryoto had no issue stripping down to change, although Rin turned away from most of us, trying to hide her body behind her locker.

I did the same, changing as quickly as I could. I wasn’t exactly self-conscious, it was just weird. But she was right, we were all adults and respected each other by trying not to look while changing.

“See? That wasn’t so hard. You all realize you’ll be stripped down to your knickers while the J-techs help you into your drivesuit. Might as well get used to it now.” Maya said once most of us were settled underneath the blanket.

“Some of us don’t wear knickers, Maya.” Chuck said from his bunk in the corner. No one shared the top with him, and I noticed that Chell and Leon were in separate bunks but I had a sneaking suspicion that they’d try and cram themselves into one bunk when the rest of us were asleep.

“I don’t need to know that you go commando, bro.” Chris spoke up. There were laughs all around and a brief argument about the terminology of underwear before Maya flicked off the lights and plunged the room into near darkness.

The morning came sooner than anyone wanted but we were all in class on time, despite the brief incident in the shower room that left Rin mortified and unable to look at Leon for most of the day. Classes, mealtimes, and combat training all went by quicker than I’d expect, and before I knew it, November had ended and December was here. We’d start Drift compatibility testing and the Drift science class soon.

The group of us Ranger hopefuls grew closer during this time frame. We kept each other in check,made sure we kept up with our exercise and tested each other constantly on the Jaeger Bushido forms. It was a pity that we wouldn't be stationed together in a Shatterdome. We'd make a formidable strike team.

I learned a few things during our practice combat sessions in the kwoon. First was that Chuck was somehow better than me at all of this and kept winning every match we had against each other. Second was that Rin was easily the best out of all of us and hadn’t lost a single match. Third was that Maya and I were so evenly matched that neither of us managed to get a hit on the other. We kept countering each other until finally someone called an end to it. One time, we could pass off as a good day, but it kept happening.

Despite our combat being completely one-sided, Chuck and I started to become decent friends. Well, I say friends. He was a little less short with his answers, and we started helping each other with our classes. I wasn’t doing so well with the jaeger engineering, and he was having a little difficulty with the kaiju biology.

He started leaving pieces of candy on top of my locker in thanks. One day it was a small piece of chocolate, a few days later it was a couple of colorful mini-jawbreakers. I started making copies of my notes so he could review them on his own time and I left them on top of his pillow when he was out of the room. I ignored Maya’s pointed looks when she caught me eating the candy he left me.

When we started the Drift science class, a couple of pilot pairs came in to talk to us about the Drift and how we needed to approach it mentally. The first two to talk to us were the pilots of Chrome Brutus, Ilisapie Flint and Zeke Amarok. They were cousins of opposite genders, and went on to talk about how strange it was at first, to know what various sensations felt like.

“Gentleman, be prepared. You will become very acquainted with your partner’s bodily functions. Male pilots with female copilots have the unique experience of knowing what it feels like during her cycle. I’m unaware of pilots who have had children, but I imagine that childbirth would be an experience that would come across the drift.” Zeke said and I noticed all the guys shuffling around in their seats uncomfortably.

A few classes later our guest speakers were Bruce and Trevin Gage of Romeo Blue. They spoke to us about the nature of siblings in the Drift. It was very fascinating to hear, and I wondered if I would have shared a similar circumstance if I had drifted with my twin. I doubted it though. From the way they told it, they were very close all throughout their lives and my brother and I had what I considered was the typical sibling relationship. We didn’t share everything. Hell, we barely shared anything. I remember fighting over plenty of things.

“Before the drift, it often felt like we were one person in two bodies. The Drift reinforced that feeling. Sometimes we’ll come out of it and we won’t remember who is who. There’s been a few times that we needed to read our nametags to differentiate ourselves.” Bruce told us. Or was it Trevin? I couldn’t tell.  Chris and Jacob were talking quietly amongst themselves. They were the only twins in the class, so I’m sure they were thinking about what the Gages said and how it might apply to them.

Our last speakers before we started preparing for the drift properly were Emily and Lora Koch. Hailing from Canada, they were the only same-sex married couple piloting a jaeger. They had the mark 3 jaeger Wolverine Thunder and two kaiju kills under their belt. They were a lesser known pair, being stationed in Lima. They didn’t get deployed often. It was interesting to note though, that before they Drifted, they had just been close friends. Neither had admitted their feelings to one another throughout training.

“Secrets have no place in the Drift. Keeping them distracts you from combat and puts you and your jaeger at risk. Secrets will get you killed. The Drift is silence, as so many others have said before us.” Emily said, with Lora nodding beside her. It was also interesting to note that Emily was from Alberta and Lora from Quebec, but both spoke with a strange mix of both accents.

After the last speakers, we had a final to take about Drift science before we could actually use the Pons to drift with one another. Those who had declared themselves techs didn’t have to Drift if they didn’t want to, and most planned on avoiding it. The final wasn’t too bad, but after we turned it in, we were given this sixteen page long questionnaire to fill out which would help them determine compatibility.

After those were sorted, there would be a few days where instructors and Dr. Caitlin Lightcap herself would  watch our sparring sessions in the kwoon and help us determine who our partners would be. I had a good feeling that I’d be placed with Maya for the Drift tests, but I also felt bad because there were an uneven number of people. Chuck didn’t have a partner.

“I’ll figure something out. Always do.” He said as we settled into bed that night. He sounded a little lost though. I hoped something came through for him. He wanted to be a pilot as much as I did.

“Bed. We’ll worry about it in the morning, on a full night’s rest."Maya said, killing the lights in the bedroom.

* * *

 

Alarms startled me awake. Startled all of us awake. We were familiar with the sound, having been drilled constantly during the first eight weeks of the Academy.

Movement in the Breach. Kaiju.

“Look alive, Cadets! We’ve got us a kaiju!” Meyers burst into the room a few moments later. She was completely dressed and in uniform, and not for the first time I wondered if she ever slept.

We dressed in a hurry while she monitored conditions on her tablet. You could feel the adrenaline in the air. Where was it going? Would it come here? We were told that if a jaeger launched while we were in attendance, we’d get to observe the camera feeds in the Shatterdome and whatever video feeds the Jumphawks sent back to LOCCENT.

“Oh wow.” Meyers sounded surprised. I’d never heard that tone of voice from her before. “It’s a category four.”

The room fell silent. We hadn’t seen a category four kaiju yet.

“Move it, cadets. We’ll know more when we get to Ops.” Meyers ordered, steel in her voice now, the same tone she used during our first weeks of training. We hurried to pull on our uniforms and boots, and Maya helped me quickly tie up all my hair since it went quicker that way.

Maya led the group of us to a room that looked a lot like a classroom, except for all the communications equipment at the front. There were several screens and Meyers turned them all on with a few orders from her tablet.

“No destinations yet, but all Shatterdomes are on alert. Whenever we get a more clear destination, jaegers will be deployed. I think we’re clear, it seems to be heading west. They’re fast in the water, we’ll know shortly where it’s going.” Meyers said, bringing up tracking screens. Lieutenant Moreau stumbled through the door and Meyers leveled him with a stare.

“I know, I know. What do we got?” He said, stepping forward. Maya lenaed over towards me.

“Someone’s been up to something. See the lipstick smeared on his collar?” She whispered. I grinned. There was a pink smear on his collar and a bit more on his neck.

“Category four kaiju. No codename. Bastard seems to be heading towards the Philippines.” Meyers said and she zoomed in on the map of the Pacific Ocean to follow the red sphere that marked the kaiju.

Moreau was sitting at the desk in the front, fingers flying over his tablet.

“I’m sure you all have a lot of questions, but I’m going to ask you to sit quietly and observe until this is over. We may be here a few hours.” Meyers said to us. I’m not sure I could sit quietly. Adrenaline was humming through me. We’re getting a view of the action as it happens. I wonder if we’d get audio feed from whatever Shatterdome was taking command of the area.

“Hong Kong Shatterdome has command of this event. Predicting landfall in Lamon Bay. Deploying Horizon Brave.” Moreau announced and on one of the screens, we got a view of inside the Shatterdome. We watched as Horizon Brave’s Conn-Pod dropped onto the jaeger itself. We watched the Jumphawks connect to the jaeger and haul it out of the Shatterdome roof. A shiver went up my spine. This was the real deal.

“Oh. They’re also deploying Lucky Seven. Wonder what they’re doing there instead of in Sydney.” Moreau continued. I resisted the very strong urge to whip my head around and look at Chuck. It’d just irritate him. But we were about to watch his father and his uncle go into combat against a massive kaiju.

“Tokyo LOCCENT is sending Gipsy Danger. I was wondering where the Becket boys had gotten off to.” Meyers split the screens between Hong Kong and Tokyo. We were watching, in real time, the launch of Lucky Seven and Gipsy Danger.

Soon we’d be watching them in combat.

“Why the Philippines again?” Jacob spoke up and Meyers turned around and fixed him with a stare.

“I told you to hold your questions. If you think about your classes, you’ll be able to answer them yourself.” She said sharply. Jacob nodded briefly, snapping his mouth closed.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Do we have clearance to listen into audio?”  Moreau asked, and Meyers was working quickly on her tablet.

“Not for Horizon Brave or Lucky Seven. Local command is allowing us to listen in on Gipsy Danger. Makes sense, it is an American jaeger.” Meyers responded. Moreau laughed and shook his head.

“We’ll just hear everything through their uplink instead.They’re not really keeping anything from us. C’mon, Hong Kong. You can do better than that.” Moreau keyed up an audio feed.

_“LOCCENT, Gipsy Danger en route to Lamon Bay. ETA thirty minutes.” GD_

_“LOCCENT copies, Gipsy Danger.” LOCCENT_

_“Gipsy, this is Lucky Seven. We’ll be there in fifteen. Won’t start the party without you.” LS_

We watched as the red kaiju indicator crept closer to land. There were three other icons moving towards the area, the flags of the countries the jaegers came from. I turned my head slightly so I could get a look at Chuck and gauge his reaction to this.

He was sitting there, his face carefully blank. When he caught me looking, he rolled his eyes. Before I turned my head back to the screen, I noticed his hands gripped tight around the armrest of the chair he was in, his knuckles turning white. He was nervous.

I didn’t blame him. It was a category four kaiju, and if it was my dad and uncle out there, I’m not sure I could sit there quietly and watch.

“Tokyo is readying Tacit Ronin and Echo Saber in case backup is needed.” Meyers reported.

“They should have sent them too.” Rin spoke up. Meyers glared at her this time, but Rin seemed to ignore it. “It’s a category four kaiju. If it overtakes those three the kaiju will make landfall waiting for help from Tokyo.”

“Hong Kong is readying Crimson Typhoon and Shaolin Rogue as well.”  Moreau spoke up, showing the two crews for the Chinese jaegers scrambling to get them up and running.

“They don’t need help. Lucky Seven could take it.” Chuck spoke up, and that had to be the closest thing to praise I had ever heard coming out of his mouth. At least, associated with his father.

“Everyone needs help, Chuck. Even pilots as great as your father and uncle.”  Maya said. He scowled. I agreed with her though. It was the first category four kaiju through the breach and we had no idea what to expect. I'd rather watch a handful of jaegers get unnecessarily deployed than watch Lucky Seven ripped to pieces because her pilots were cocky.

The minutes ticked by slowly and we watched the symbols move on the map. Meyers and Moreau continued to give updates and every now and then we heard chatter from Gipsy Danger talking to LOCCENT or one of the other jaegers. One of the screens switched to a feed from an escort helicopter and we watched the Jumphawks drop Horizon Brave and Lucky Seven into the bay.

_“LOCCENT, Horizon Brave deployed. Holding the coastline .” HB_

_“LOCCENT copies, Horizon Brave.” LOCCENT_

_“LOCCENT, Lucky Seven deployed. We’ve got your back, Horizon. Now….where is this bastard?” LS_

_“Telemetry indicates kaiju is still four miles out. ETA two minutes.” LOCCENT_

_“Looks like the party is gonna start without us, Rals.” GD_

_“There are always other parties, Becket boys.” LS_

_“Kaiju on sensors. {Shit, he’s fast.}” HB_

The red kaiju marker was right on top of Horizon Brave and Lucky Seven now. Gipsy Danger was still a ways out. I lifted my hands to my mouth and started chewing on my nails. I had always followed kaiju attacks on television when I could, but it was never like this. I could never hear the pilots as they got into position. Never heard the radio chatter between the command post and the jaegers. It was almost like being in LOCCENT watching the action go down. LOCCENT had more data than we did, but it was a close thing.

_“It’s here. Lucky Seven engaging.”LS_

_“Horizon Brave engaging.”HB_

_“LOCCENT, we’re still ten minutes out.” GD_

_“Don’t worry Gipsy, he’s a big one. There will be plenty when you get - Fuck, watch that tail!” LS_

On the screen, we watched Lucky Seven narrowly miss being whipped by the kaiju’s long tail. Horizon Brave charged forward, fists swinging. The kaiju staggered back from the blows. We couldn’t hear it, but we saw the mouth open and the thing roared.

Horizon Brave was knocked aside and the thing spun around, rounding on Lucky Seven. Lucky Seven dropped into a stance familiar to everyone who knew the pilots. They both had been amateur boxers before the kaiju war, and the jaeger’s movements mimicked that. It delivered several devastating blows to the kaiju. They danced around each other, Lucky Seven managing to dodge many of the creature’s blows altogether. Horizon got back in the game, and we saw the cryo cannons begin to charge up.

“ _LOCCENT, Gipsy Danger is now within visual range. Disengaging from transport in 30 seconds.” GD_

_“Roger, Gipsy Danger. Engage at will.” LOCCENT_

Suddenly, Lucky Seven stopped moving. Just complete and total halt of all movement. The kaiju knocked it aside with a blow to the side of the Conn-Pod. It fell to the side with no resistance at all. I gasped in shock. There was a clatter as Chuck stood up so fast his chair fell behind him his hands slamming onto the table.

“Get the fuck up you bastard!” He shouted, his entire body trembling.

_“LOCCENT, something’s wrong with Lucky Seven! They’ve stopped moving!”HB_

_“Shit, Yancy, drop us now we’ve gotta get in this!” GD_

_“Gipsy Danger, disengaging from transport.” GD_

_“{Forget the cannons!} Lucky, we’re coming, just hang-”HB_

The kaiju’s spiked tail whipped around, catching Horizon Brave’s Conn Pod. There was a brief scream on Gipsy Danger’s comms before it was quickly muted. The tail ripped the Conn-Pod from the jaeger, stuck on the spikes. The kaiju dislodged it with a flick and it sank into the ocean.

“Fuck! Horizon Brave is down!” GD

We watched as Horizon Brave toppled over into the ocean, useless now without its Conn-Pod and pilots. There were quiet curses from somewhere in the room. I tasted copper in my mouth.

_“Gipsy Danger, Lucky Seven has gone out of alignment. You’re on your own. Crimson Typhoon and Shaolin Rogue are readying for deployment.” LOCCENT_

_“NO! We’re fine! Get the fuck up, Herc, we’ve got a fight to win.”LS_

_“This isn’t fucking over. LOCCENT, it’s under control, we’re still in this.” LS_

“Come on, old man, get your shit together!” Chuck growled and almost as if his father could hear him, Lucky Seven climbed back to its feet. Gipsy Danger ducked under the kaiju’s tail, reaching out to grab it with one hand. The other hand shot forward and quickly transformed into the jaeger’s plasma cannon. Lucky Seven reached forward and grabbed the kaiju with both hands and held it in place while the jaeger’s knee came up and caught it under the chin. The kaiju lifted one limb and dragged its claws across Lucky Seven's chest, ripping into the jaeger.

_“Lucky, get out of the way! We’re gonna fry this motherfucker!” GD_

Lucky punched the kaiju’s head two more times before staggering out of reach and out of the way of Gipsy’s plasma cannon. From what I could tell, the containment unit around Lucky Seven's reactor had been breached. They'd need to get out soon or the radiation exposure would be a problem.

_“Light him up, Raleigh!” GD_

On screen, the plasma cannon flashed as it fired, burning its way up the kaiju’s back. Another blast caught it in the side of the head, and as the kaiju turned away, one more blast burned its way through the back side of its head and severed the spine of the creature. It dropped into the water, and Gipsy Danger stepped forward and fired one more shot into the skull

_“LOCCENT, kaiju is down. Ready for extraction at your convenience.” GD_

_“Lucky Seven, ready for extraction. Make it soon, the reactor is exposed.” LS_

“What the hell.” Maya breathed and I turned and saw her running her hands through her hair.

“Are….are Horizon’s pilots dead?” Sarah (maybe, I still hadn’t learned her name) asked in a small voice.

“It’s….impossible to tell. The Hong Kong Shatterdome will be sending rescue and recovery choppers out. It’s possible that the pilots escaped.” Moreau said, leaning back into his seat wearily. I looked over at Chuck who was glaring at the screen. I was honestly surprised that it hadn’t caught fire yet under the intensity of his gaze.

“Possible, but unlikely. Chances are we’ll be getting a call from Marshall Pentecost. Black armbands on the uniforms for a month. Don’t sugarcoat it, Jeff. We just lost two pilots.”

"You don't know that. Not yet." Moreau replied but he sounded like he didn't quite believe himself.

I felt tears prick at my eyes and I blinked them back quickly. I noticed Maya swiping at her eyes too.

“Hansen, go get some air. Actually, all of you. Lets go. We’re going on a run.” Meyers stood up and pointed towards the door. We hesitated for a moment.

“Out that door now, cadets, or I’ll be adding three miles to the run. Move your asses!” She shouted and we hustled out the door. Most of us were in a state of shock, but orders were something we all understood. Meyers allowed us to stop at the room to grab jackets and scarves, which most of us wound around our faces so we wouldn’t breathe in the icy air outside.

The run was supposed to distract us. Wear us out. But during it, my body moved on autopilot. Two pilots possibly dead. Horizon Brave was one of the first jaegers and its pilots had been up there with the best of them. All it took was one lucky blow from the kaiju and their lives were as good as gone.

Like most people, I didn’t want to die. It was a risk I’d take every time I stepped into a Conn-Pod, but I didn’t really think about it until now. It didn’t matter how good you were. Everyone had bad days. It could have been Lucky Seven that went down. It almost was Lucky Seven that went down.

God, what was Chuck thinking? How would he have reacted if his father and uncle had died today?

After the run, Meyers ordered us back to the barracks. We all returned to our bunks in various stages of shock.

“Get some rest if you can. I’m pushing your j-tech final to tomorrow. Take the day to study.” Meyers told us and then left us. She probably had things to do.

We were all quiet for a long time. We just kind of stared at each other. Nobody knew what to say. I mean, what could we say? We might have watched two people die.

Chuck paced by his bunk and I watched him walk back and forth for a while. He wouldn’t be able to sleep, that I knew. It didn’t matter his relationship with his father, they were still family. I’d still feel it if I watched my mother die, and I hated the woman.

“Well. I’m not going to sleep anytime soon. Anyone want to join me in the kwoon?” I said, stripping myself down to my undershirt and pants. Chuck stopped pacing and looked over at me.

“Yeah. I’ll go.” He said, tugging his jacket off and tossing it onto his bed. I didn’t bother to wait for anyone else, I just left the barracks, barely managing to keep from running.

In the kwoon, I pulled off my boots and socks and set them aside and picked up a hanbō, spinning it around in my hands. Chuck did the same, taking his place at the other end of the mat. We stared at each other for a brief moment. There was a flicker of something in his eyes and then he moved, coming at me aggressively. At first, we tried to stick to the forms we were taught, the Jaeger Bushido the instructors had drilled into our heads.

At some point, it descended into a no-holds barred fight, using everything we knew. But he was distracted, left himself open far too often. I managed to hook my leg around one of his and tugged it out from underneath him, but he had grabbed ahold of my shirt and pulled me down with him.

We grappled on the mats for a moment, rolling across them in a painful tangle of limbs. I snaked a hand up and grabbed a fistful of his hair (it was getting too long for regulations, he’d need to cut it soon) and tugged his head back. He grunted in pain and reached up to dislodge my hand, trying to get his legs underneath him for leverage and that’s when I felt something hard pressed against my hip. It certainly wasn’t his hipbone. I froze, my grip in his hair loosening.

He blinked and looked up at me in confusion, feeling my reaction. And then his eyes went wide. Next thing I knew, he was scrambling backwards, out from underneath me and back towards the opposite end of the room. I pushed myself up onto my knees and looked over at him, but he was doing his best to not look at me and angled his body away from me.

“I’m...I’m sorry. I don’t- It’s not-” He mumbled, waving his hands, trying to convey how he felt.

“It’s….uh….It’s alright. I’m not...offended.” I managed to say, still trying to catch my breath. It wasn’t like I was unfamiliar with it. Derek and I sparred frequently and it had almost always ended up with us rolling on the floor stripping our clothes off. Derek had been embarrassed the first time it happened though, not sure why his body was reacting that way. Testosterone was a hell of a thing.

“I’m gonna….go back to the barracks. Give you a minute. Um….lets just pretend this didn’t happen?” I offered and stood up, backing farther away from him towards my boots. I didn’t even bother to put them on, I just picked them up and fled.

The next morning, Chuck and I avoided eye contact as much as possible. I hoped no one noticed, but Maya swooped in and pulled me away before breakfast to talk to me.

“Spill.” Was all she said, backing me into an alcove just outside the mess hall. I felt my cheeks turn pink and I couldn’t meet her eye.

“I don’t...really want to talk about it.” I muttered, staring at light grey concrete floor.

“I’ll see it in the Drift. It’ll be easier to tell me now.” Maya insisted and I sighed and told her everything that happened.

“That’s it? And here I was thinking you guys went at it.” Maya let me go and I rolled my eyes at her.

“It’s not like that.” I told her and she laughed and pulled me out of the alcove and into the mess hall.

“That’s what you think. I know what it looks like. I’ve been around longer, kid. I know how this works. He’s totally into you.” We got into line to get our food. I huffed in irritation.

“I’m not a kid.”

“See? You’re even starting to sound like him.” Maya laughed again.

“Shut up.”

We sat down to eat our breakfasts and Moreau and Meyers came into the mess hall, both looking like they hadn’t slept last night.

“Cadets, listen up. Got some great news for you. Horizon Brave’s Conn-Pod was recovered and both pilots were alive. They’re badly injured and both are in Intensive Care, but are expected to recover.” Moreau announced with a smile on his face. Meyers smiled as well and threw her arm around Moreau.

Thank God.

There were cheers all around. We pulled off the black armbands of mourning that we had put on over our uniforms this morning, thinking they were dead. I felt better knowing I hadn’t watched two people die. It made me feel better about my chances. Injured wasn’t dead. Injured can recover. I couldn’t help it, I grinned and looked for Chuck. He gave me a small smile of his own, but it was obvious his mind was miles away.

I left him to his thoughts and returned to my breakfast.

* * *

 

I paced in the barracks. There was so much to be nervous about. The results of our final exams would be released today, and depending on how we scored, we’d start Drift simulations this afternoon. I was so nervous. If I didn’t get the right scores, I’d have to come back with the next class to come through and do the eight weeks of jaeger tech and kaiju science all over again. I really didn’t want to do that.

I felt sick to my stomach. God, I wish they’d just hurry up and release our grades.

“Sit down, Watts, you’re making me sick .” Chuck said from his bunk. He had a lollipop in his mouth, the stick moving back and forth across his lips. I paused to glare at him for a second before continuing on my pace.

“You did fine, Gemma. You’re a very smart girl. If you didn’t do well, I’m reluctant to see what the rest of our grades look like.” Maya assured me, leafing through a women’s magazine. I wasn’t quite sure where she got that, but if I had to guess, it was Meyers. She and Maya had become friends sometime during our remaining weeks of the second trimester.

Moreau stepped into the barracks, holding his tablet aloft. “Got your grades in, ladies and gentleman.

I stopped pacing and looked at him. I really felt like I was going to be sick.

“So….who’s gonna be our next Rangers? Anyone want to place bets before we start?” He grinned. Nobody took him up on the offer.

“Nobody? No fun. Anyhow...Blanchetts. Cadle. Hansen. Hishida. Makuda. Watts. You’ll be reporting to the Drift simulation labs on the fourth floor, to Dr. Lightcap at two PM. Congratulations. Our techs…”

Moreau started to list our techs, but I stopped listening. Oh my god. Oh. My. God.

I was gonna be a Ranger. I didn’t even think about the chance that Maya and I couldn’t Drift together. I knew we’d be fine.

Holy shit. I was gonna be a Ranger.

“Gemma? Gemma, you need to breathe.” Maya was in my face, and suddenly I realized why my chest felt like it was gonna burst. I sucked in a lungful of air, and then another. I couldn’t be a Ranger if I suffocated.

“We’ve still got to get past Drifting and the jaeger simulators. Don’t get too excited.” Maya cautioned once I had caught my breath. That wouldn’t be an issue. I could do that. I survived so far.

I glanced around to see who else was celebrating. Chell and Leon were embracing, and I feel like if there had been less people around, they would have locked lips. Chris and Jacob looked crestfallen. But they had been told that if they took the exams again, they’d qualify for tech positions. Others were techs. Some didn’t make the cut at all, with grades too low. There were some tears too.

Rin and Ryoto were smiling at each other, their foreheads pressed together. It was oddly intimate, but they were very close. Maya was smiling at me, happy that she had made the cut as well.

I looked over at Chuck, and he was the only Ranger candidate who wasn’t smiling. My elation fell as I realized he still didn’t have a co-pilot. I wondered what would happen to him.

“Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. Hansen, Marshall Pentecost wants to see you in his office at one. Says he’s got a co-pilot for you. Didn’t tell me who, don’t bother asking.” Moreau said, and Chuck perked up considerably after that.

“Word of advice for those of you doing Drifting this afternoon: don’t eat much at lunch. Dr. Lightcap doesn’t like it when you throw up all over her gear.” And with that, Moreau left the room.

“Oh man, Maya. What are we gonna name our jaeger?” I asked her. She shrugged.

“I don’t know. We’ll come up with something. I was thinking ‘maverick’ could be one of the words. Because, you know, your obsession with that movie.”  She said, sitting back down on her bunk.

“Ooh, I like that. Hmm.” I started thinking again, about all the things that would work well with Maverick. Nothing I had did, but we had plenty of time to think about it.

“We have our name already. Decided on it before we left home.” Rin said, coming over to sit on my bunk. Ryoto followed.

“Seraph Sigma.” He said. I raised my eyebrows. That was an impressive name. I almost wish I had thought of it.

“What about kestrel? That’s what you said your favorite bird was one time. You even have that tattoo.It’s a type of falcon. A hunter.” Chell came over, her hand in Leon’s. They were too cute with their brief bits of PDA.

“I like it. Maya?” I turned my attention to her. She was nodding absently.

“It’s got potential. I’ll give it a spin around the brain.” She said. I leaned to peer around her right at Chuck.

“What about you? Got a name in mind?” I asked him. He shrugged at me.

“Got a few ideas. Gonna wait for my co-pilot before I say anything.” He answered simply, laying back on his bunk and tucking his hand behind his head.

“Any guesses as to who they’re gonna be?” I asked next. He shrugged again.

“Not a damn clue. But they’ll match us up with those stupid compatibility tests we took in the Drift class.I’m sure I’ll Drift just fine with whoever it is. Lightcap knows what she’s doing.” Chuck said easily, obviously unworried.

“You seem to be okay with a stranger climbing into your head.” I was still a little hesitant about letting Maya into mine. I mean, she’d see everything. Nothing I was ashamed of, but I wasn’t exactly thrilled about her seeing all the times I spent between the sheets with someone else during high school. Or with my own hand.

But now that I thought about it, I’d be seeing all of that from her too. I guess it was a little less uncomfortable.

Lunch came and as nervous as I was, I couldn’t eat much even without Moreau’s warning. Maya picked at her food as well, and we sat next to each other at the end of one table, talking quietly about the things we might see inside each other’s brains.

“Yeah….so I really should have said something earlier, because this is probably a deal breaker. But um...I’ve given birth. Twice. ” Maya said about thirty minutes into the conversation. I froze with my cup of water halfway to my mouth and stared at her.

“Yeah...that’s definitely something you should have lead with. I didn’t know you had kids.” I said. She had never once said anything about them. Did she not have custody? Did they die?

“I was a surrogate for all of Mark’s children. His wife had a lot of medical issues that made carrying a pregnancy to term almost impossible. I offered, since my family has a long history of great reproductive health.” She explained and looked away, draining the rest of her own water.

Not something I had even considered. And wow, that was pretty selfless of her. I didn’t even want to be pregnant once, and she did it twice for Mark’s children. It would explain why she was so close to the man. I mean, carrying his children was pretty damn important.

“Well, looks like I’m getting another reason to adopt. It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.” I assured her and she smiled at me.

“You know, I’ve always wanted children of my own. Maybe one day. And I hope you don’t me saying, but I hope they’re like you. You’re an exceptional young woman, Gemma.” She reached over and grabbed my hand with both of hers. I blushed and smiled back at her.

“Thanks. I wish my mother was like you. It’s…. it’s something you’ll see in the Drift. It’s not easy to talk about, but suffice it to say she wasn’t an ideal parent. My dad is as close to a saint as you can get and still be alive.” I replied, frowning at the thought of my mother.

“Your dad sounds like an amazing person, from what you’ve told me about him. I’d love to meet him.”

“Maybe I’ll catch a flight home during our next break. You’re welcome to come with me. We have a guest bedroom.” I offered and she smiled brightly.

“I’d love that. C’mon, lets go find your boyfriend and see who the Marshall gave him as a co-pilot. He should be out of the meeting by now.”

“Chuck’s not my boyfriend!” I insisted, standing up and gathering my tray and cup to take to the dishwasher alcove.

“Sure. Whatever you say.”

Maya and I made our way back to the barracks but paused outside the door when we heard shouting. It sounded like Chuck was arguing with someone. I really hoped no one else was in there. We paused outside the door, glancing at each other, and listening in.

_“...don’t want to Drift with my old man! I don’t need you in my head!”_

_“Not much of a choice, is there? Trust me, I don’t want to Drift with you either, but Scott-”_

_“Of course you don’t want to Drift with me! You’ve never wanted to do anything with me, not since you’ve stepped into a fucking jaeger!”_

_“That’s not what I meant and you know it. There are some memories of your Mum you just don’t need to see!”_

_“Oh, but you get to keep all the rest of them to yourself? And how is that fair? You’re the reason she’s dead in the first place!”_

“Okay, we should probably step in on this.” Maya whispered to me and I nodded. We took a few steps back and started having a rather loud conversation with each other while we walked forward to give them a little time to compose themselves.

“....So Mark ducks around the corner and damn near trips over Lizzie, and the little girl just goes ‘Gotcha, Daddy!’ Cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” Maya says as we push the barracks door open. We stopped in the doorway as both Hansens turned to stare at us.

The barracks were empty beside the two of them, a small relief.

“Good afternoon, Ranger Hansen. I didn’t know you were in Anchorage.” Maya said politely, moving towards her bunk. I walked to mine and opened my locker, making myself busy inside it playing with my uniform, my shoes. Maybe I should grab my makeup bag and duck off to the bathroom and freshen it up.

“Afternoon, ladies. I hear you’re Ranger candidates?” He said, his voice definitely lighter than it was when he was shouting at his son. I hazarded a glance at Chuck who was sitting on his bunk glowering at all three of us.

“We certainly are. Got our eyes on that pretty mark 5 jaeger too.” Maya answered with a smile. Ranger Hansen took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Afraid that one’s mine. They’re pulling me from Lucky Seven since my brother’s been dismissed from the Jaeger program.” He said and Maya frowned at him.

“Gemma? You got time for the kwoon?” Chuck asked suddenly. I turned to stare at him. We hadn’t been in the kwoon together alone since what I liked to call ‘The Incident’. I glanced over at the clock.

“Um...yeah. I’ve got about forty minutes before Maya and I have to go meet up with the others at the Drift Lab.” I closed my locker. Maybe someone else would be there, but last I heard most of the others had gone to the rec room to relax.

“Great. let’s go.” He said, sharper than it could have been and he left the barracks.

“Give him hell, Gem.” Maya encouraged, tossing me a thumbs up.

“I always do. And yet, somehow he keeps winning.” I said as I followed Chuck out the door.

Unfortunately, the kwoon was empty when we reached it and I darted forward and grabbed Chuck’s wrist before he picked up a hanbō.

“Before you beat the hell out of me again, you wanna tell me what that was about?” I asked when he turned around. Chuck scowled and ran his hands through his hair.

“I knew someone would overhear that….My uncle Scott was dismissed from the Jaeger program for ‘conduct unbecoming an officer’. Dad won’t tell me exactly what he did, but whatever it was, he saw it in the Drift, back when we were watching them fight. Pulled them both out of alignment. Nearly got them killed and the Horizon Brave crew killed.” Chuck picked up one of the smooth wood staves and spun it around in his hands.

“Lucky Seven took some pretty heavy damage to their reactor, it’s gonna take a while for them to repair it. Think he said they have to stick a whole new one in there. The Marshall is considering scrapping it and sending it to Oblivion Bay.” Chuck explained and his scowl deepened.

“Dad needs a new co-pilot, and turns out, they think I’m compatible. I don’t have a co-pilot so they don’t think it’s an issue, but I don't want him in my head.” Chuck said with a sigh.

“What do you have to hide?” I asked, but I didn’t expect him to share any of his secrets with me. Hell, he didn’t have to. I didn’t blame him for not wanting his dad in his head. I wouldn’t want my dad in my head.

“Nothing I just…..Shit, Gemma, I wish I could explain. I wasn't kidding when I said I grew up more around jaegers than I did family. Why am I supposed to let him in after he did that to me?”

I didn’t have an answer for him. Selecting a hanbō, I took a few steps away from him and slipped into the first form.

“I don’t know. But you’ll figure it out. Now, I’ve gotta be upstairs at two, along with everyone else. We could probably work through a few forms though. I’ll just be a little sweaty after.” I said, setting my face and preparing to lose again.

He gave a small huff of laughter and shook his head.

“I didn’t actually come here to fight you. Not after….well, you know.” He said, cheeks turning pink. “I just needed to get out of the room before I hit him.”

“I thought we were pretending that didn’t happen? I mean, I get that I’m pretty hot, but buy me dinner first.” I quipped, trying to keep him from getting too embarrassed. I lowered my hanbō and moved back over to where he was standing to put it back since we weren’t really going to fight anyways. I needed to get upstairs and meet Maya anyways, and it was always better to be early.

Chuck put his hanbō back too and I turned to leave when I felt a hand close around my wrist. I turned back around and Chuck tugged me forward into him. His other arm snaked around my waist and held me there.

“How about a kiss as down payment?” He said, leaning his head forward towards mine. At sixteen, he wasn’t much taller than me, but he still had plenty of time to grow those last few inches that would make me stand up on my toes to do this. For now….I angled my head back, nose brushing his, our lips just barely out of reach. One of us had to make that final, slight movement.

Not even before my first kiss had I felt anticipation like this. I closed my eyes and he took that as his signal and leaned just a tiny bit more forward.

Chuck’s lips were warm and soft on mine and I could feel the hand on my waist tighten, holding me still. He didn’t have to worry, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.

At least, not until I heard the giggle and I pulled away to see Chell’s face just inside the door with wide eyes on her face. I heard Leon call her name and she ducked away from the door and I took a step back.

“Shit…” Chuck muttered, his hand coming up to touch his lips. He looked a little awestruck and something occurred to me.

“Was that…..was that your first kiss?” I asked with a grin. Chuck looked startled, then outraged.

“What? No. Of course not. I’ve kissed plenty of girls.” Chuck said defensively. My grin widened.

“It totally was! Oh my god. I mean, not that it was terrible. I’m not saying that. But you’ve definitely never kissed a girl before.” I giggled and then turned back to look at the door where Chell was a few minutes ago.

“I better go chase her down before she tells everyone on Academy grounds.” I said and he nodded at me.

“Yea...go do that. I’ll see you later tonight, after Drifting.” He said. I started towards the door. Then stopped and turned around, darted back over to him and gave him another quick peck on the lips, and then bolted out of the room.

I don’t think that whatever the Drift had waiting for me would spoil my mood now. Admitting that Maya was right, however...well, I suppose I could handle that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The length of this one got away from me, so next chapter will cover their last days in the second trimester of the Jaeger Academy and Gemma's trip home to see her Dad. Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> If you do the tumblr thing, my url is below!
> 
> ladylaiacona.tumblr.com


	4. Anchorage, Alaska/Atlanta, Georgia December 21st, 2019 - January 4th, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma and the rest of her class begin their Drifting tests and there might a bit of teenage romance brewing at the Academy, if Chuck can keep his foot out of his mouth long enough.

The fourth floor of the Academy was entirely dedicated to Drift Science. It was where we were having our classes on how things worked, and it was where I was at now, settling down into my seat next to Maya. She gave me a look that was part ‘I know what you were up to’ and part ‘we really need to talk’. Instead of speaking, she nodded her head, and I glanced over to see Ranger Hansen sitting in the back corner, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed.

A few minutes later, Chuck came into the room. He scowled when he saw his father but took the only free seat beside him. It was either that or look silly sitting down in the front row by himself. You could see the screens better from up here anyways.

Dr. Lightcap stepped into the room shortly after, followed by her co-pilot Sergio D’Onofrio. Brawler Yukon was retired now, stored here in Anchorage. They both stuck around to teach at the Jaeger Academy.

“Good afternoon, cadets. I’ll keep this brief, we have quite a bit to cover today. This afternoon, Captain D’Onofrio and I will be observing you and your chosen partners in physical compatibility trials. I’m sure when you started, many of you viewed the combat training as a sort of competition. You wanted to see who was better.” She paced back in forth in front of the desk as she talked, observing all of us.

“The goal was to see how you worked together, how you moved against each other. When you spar long enough with someone, you begin to learn how their minds work and anticipate their movements. That is what we were going for.”

Well, Maya and I knew each other pretty well, I think. Our sparring always lasted forever, although lately I’ve gotten slightly faster than her and now we manage to score a hit. We’d  usually use that as a sign that it was time to call it quits for a while.

“After our observation, if you pass the tests, we’ll begin with Light Drift Simulation. It’s not a full Drift, but it will allow us to see how well your minds play together. It’s like sticking your toe in the water to gauge temperature. You’ll only see and feel surface thoughts and emotions. It’s another test, and should you pass those, we’ll move onto full Drift testing. “ She continued, and Captain D’Onofrio stepped forward to say something.

“After each Drift session, you’ll spend an hour with psychoanalysts to see how you react to the Drift, to being in someone else’s mind and having someone in yours. The questions are very invasive, but no less invasive than the Drift is. Please, answer honestly. Your answers are confidential.” He said, eyes moving across the eight of us gathered there.

“You will also be given leave to visit the Shatterdome itself, to speak with any of the jaeger pilots in house. They’ve all agreed to discuss Drifting with those who wish to speak more in-depth. But remember, everyone responds differently. Their reactions may not be yours. Any questions?” He asked and beside me Maya raised her hand.

“Which teams are currently stationed here?” She asked when he acklowdeged her. Captain D’Onofrio raised a hand to his chin and narrowed his eyes.

“Chrome Brutus is here, as is Wolverine Thunder. Gipsy Danger will be returning tomorrow, if I’m not mistaken. On occasion, some of the other pilots will make their way here during a class, depending on kaiju attack schedules. Since we just recently had movement in the breach, it should be quiet for a little while. Expect at least one other pair. Ranger Hercules Hansen is also in house, and he has often come and talked to classes.” Most of us turned our heads to look at the mentioned Ranger and he nodded politely. I saw Chuck roll his eyes.

“Anything else? Or can we get started?” Dr. Lightcap asked, and at the silence that followed, she gestured towards the door.

“Alright then. We’ll head down to the kwoon and get down to it. We’ll go alphabetically, so Chell and Leon, you’re up first.”

In the kwoon, as boots were pulled off and set neatly aside, Leon said a few quiet words to his wife in French. She smiled and nodded briefly, taking the hanbō he offered. Her smile faded away as they took their places on the mats and the both of them adopted serious expressions, focusing on the trial.

Watching those two fight was like watching a dance. It was as if they had spent hours perfecting the choreography of each movement. Leon wasn’t lying when he said that he and Chell knew everything there was to know about each other. If we were betting (and why weren’t we? there was a ton of money to be made here) I’d put my money on those two for top of the class. They’d Drift well together.

Dr. Lightcap observed, occasionally making notes in her book. Beside her, Captain D’Onofrio would lean down and say something to her quietly, and she’d not and make another annotation.

“If anyone deserves a jaeger, it’s those two. Look at that. “ Maya breathed next to me. We had seen them fight before, but today they were at their peak. I felt a little envious. Maya and I worked well together, but I didn’t have that level of closeness, of intimacy with anyone.

“Very nice, Mr. and Mrs. Blanchett. If Jaeger Bushido was a sport and this a competition, you would have set the bar very high. Miss Cadle, Miss Watts, you’re next.” Captain D’Onofrio said and Leon and Chell bowed to him as they cleared the mats.

This was a new thing. I was used to going last, but thanks to Maya’s last name, I got to go reasonably early. Rolling my head from side to side, I took my place on the training mats, the smooth wood of the hanbō resting firmly in my hand. Maya picked hers up and took her place.

I spun my staff above my head and settled into one of the forms we had drilled into us. This one was my favorite, most of the wood held behind me. legs spread apart for stability. Maya settled into another, and for a moment we stared at each other.

There was a shift you felt in your mind when you were fighting with someone you were compatible with. I felt it now, and Maya’s eyes flashed. So did she. She darted forward, swinging at me with controlled power, and I brought my hanbō to counter. And the fight went from there, both of us rolling, ducking, strafing left and right, moving around the mat. Maya loved to change things up, and I loved to surprise her with all the things that I was taught that she didn’t know. Still, we never touched each other once with the wood.

I’m not sure how long we were moving, but Dr. Lightcap called to us, telling us that she had seen enough. I wasn’t surprised, as we could continue like that for ages, until one of us decided it was enough or we were both trembling from exhaustion.

“Most impressive. I have not seen fighting like that since the Wei Tang triplets came through the Academy. And nothing even close to that from a pair who did not know each other before hand. I can’t wait to see your Drift data.” Dr. Lightcap said, writing away with a smile on her face. I wiped some sweat from my forehead and stepped aside to put my boots back on. The floors here were always cold.

“We’re both old souls, I imagine. We’ve met before.” Maya said, slinging her arm around my shoulder. I sighed and leaned against the wall. The cool metal panelling felt good against my damp skin.

“Ranger Hansen, you and Charles are next.” Dr. Lightcap announced and I watched Chuck swagger onto the mats, body bristling with what I assumed was agression. I was wondering how this would go since they’ve never fought before.

And then I realized that they fight all the time. This wasn’t anything new, really, just a different form of fighting. One where they didn’t need to speak, didn’t need to vocalize all their issues.

I wasn’t surprised when they fought well with each other. Chuck was quick, angry and aggressive, where Ranger Hansen was controlled but no less powerful. In a jaeger, I’d bet that they’d use those traits in tandem, striking kaiju hard and fast and knowing when they needed to back off, to use more or less power.

Rin and Ryoto went last and Rin surprised everyone with her use of her long braid as a weapon when she did a pirouette and the small, decorative stone she kept at the end of it smacked Ryoto’s hand, forcing him to drop his hanbō. She brought hers up underneath his chin, and his face lit up with a smile. It couldn’t have been planned but it worked anyways.

“That was certainly unconventional. Impressive nonetheless. You were all very impressive, and clearly took your combat lessons seriously. Not everyone does. They figure a basic knowledge of brawling is all you need in a jaeger.” Captain D’Onofrio stepped forward, leaving Dr. Lightcap to make more notes.

“You’ve all been trained in battlefield tactics. In where the weak spots are on the kaiju. Knowing where to go and where to hit is fine, but you must also learn how to go and how to hit. Next trimester, the eight of you will be putting all of this into practice. At this point, it only gets harder.” He continued, looking at all of us.

I was perfectly fine with harder. Nothing worth having was easy to get.

“I’ve seen what I need to see. Chell, Leon, you’ll be first up in the Drift simulators. The rest of you are free to do as you’d like, but please stick around the fourth floor. First time Drifts can take anywhere from one minute to thirty and I’d like you available for when you’re up.” Dr Lightcap said and as a group we all went back upstairs. I kind of wished to change out of my sweaty clothes, but seeing as how nobody else (besides Dr. Lightcap and Captain D’Onofrio) had clean clothes, I figured I could wait.

The fourth floor was mostly Drift labs, but there was also a small lounge where we could wait for the others. Chell and Leon entered a lab, leaving the rest of us to settle in and wait.

“Back when I was at the Academy, all the labs were full. There were a handful of techs and scientists helping her, but nobody knows the Drift science like Caitlin does.” Ranger Hansen said, sitting himself in a recliner. I resisted the urge to flop down on the sofa and take up the whole thing. Maya sat next to me, closest to Ranger Hansen.

“In your class, how many pairs became Rangers?” She asked and he leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling.

“There were the Kaidonovskys, the Wei Tang Triplets, the Gage twins, the Jessops, although they weren’t married at the time, Lo Hi Shen and Xichi Po, Tamsin Sevier, and Stacker Pentecost. And my brother and I. Got seven jaeger teams out of that first class.” Ranger Hansen taps his fingers on the armrest of the chair, clearly lost in thought. I want to ask him what happened during his last combat drop, to ask him what made them lose Drift alignment, but it’s an extremely personal question.

“Have you heard anything about the Horizon Brave pilots?” I asked instead and his gaze left the ceiling and met mine. There was a silent thank you in there, for not voicing the question all of us had, but there was also something else I didn’t recognize.

“When I left, they were still in critical care. The Hong Kong Shatterdome has some of the best medical facilities anywhere in that city, they’re being very well cared for.” He said and I nodded absently, thinking about it. Of course the PPDC would have the best doctors and facilities. We were saving the world, after all.

“We watched the combat drop. It was….intense. To see the fighting like that.” Ryoto said, coming closer as he spoke. “What is it like, seeing a kaiju up close?”

“It’s nightmare fuel.” Maya said quietly, before Ranger Hansen got to answer. She didn’t talk much about her experience in Cabo, but she did share with me that she was on the ground looking up at Kaiceph when it attacked. She was lucky to have escaped. So many others didn’t.

“She’s right. In a jaeger, it’s easy to forget how small we actually are. How fragile, how breakable. You must do your best to not forget.” We all turned to face the door at the new voice, and Emily Koch was standing there, her arms crossed.

“Good to see you again, Em. You always did like hanging with the newbies.” Ranger Hansen nodded at the woman, who came into the room. Lora wasn’t following. I was learning that some pairs didn't always go everywhere together. The media loved when they did, though.

“Good to see you, too, Herc. They tell me you’re getting that Mark 5.” Emily settled herself on top of a table. If any one of the cadets had done that, Meyers or Moreau would have come out of the metaphorical woodwork to shout at us, give us more star jumps and push ups. But Rangers got away with just about anything.

“We’re getting the Mark 5.” Chuck spoke up, dragging his chair into the loose circle that had formed. There was a brief flicker of irritation from Ranger Hansen, but you would only notice if you were looking. Outwardly, he was collected and calm.

“Oh, so he’s gonna be your co-pilot, eh? We had been wondering about that.” Emily raised an eyebrow at Chuck, clearly unimpressed with his cockiness. And really, was anyone?

“Wouldn’t want a mediocre pilot in the harness of our best jaeger, now would we?” Chuck replied with an easy shrug. I glared at him. Who was he calling mediocre?

“Well then I'm sure Chell and Leon will love it then. They're going to be the best of our class.” Maya said, challenge dancing in her eyes. Chuck scowled and opened his mouth to reply.

We were saved from whatever remark he had by Captain D’Onofrio coming in and gathering Maya and I for our Drift test. As I walked out the door, I shot Chuck a scathing glare and he had the good sense to look sorry.

Kiss me and then call me mediocre. Seriously? See if I let that happen again.

Inside one of the labs, Maya and I were seated in two desks separated by an opaque wall. We couldn’t see each other, or the tablets placed on the desk. Resting on a stand behind the seats were what I assumed the neural interfaces were. It looked kind of like a squid.

“These are versions of what is in the helmets of drive suits. In the suit, they connect to the rest of the circuitry undersuit and help transmit your actions to that of your jaeger. Here, it is just your mind that will be connected.” Dr. Lightcap explained as a couple of techs placed the interfaces on our heads and secured them. The weight was odd but not uncomfortable and I did my best to stay calm. Getting upset or nervous wouldn’t help. I mean, I was quite upset with Chuck but I could shelve that feeling and deal with it later.

“Remember, this isn’t a full Drift. This is merely a test, and how long you can hold the connection. There is no required time limit. You will not be cut even if your Drift lasts just a minute.” Dr. Lightcap said, and then began counting down from fifteen. I did my best to calm my mind.

“Three...two...one…”

The feeling of someone else in my head was a completely foreign and unwelcome sensation. My first immediate temptation was to fight the feeling, force the person out. And I did, for a few seconds. I felt Maya’s presence, heard her thoughts, felt her efforts to fight me.

_Nonono out get out you don’t belong here_

_Gemma its okay_

_Maya?_

_Who else would it be?Why are you angry?_

_What? I’m -_

_Gonna lie. In your head, dummy, remember?_

_Shit don’t think about it don’t think about it_

_Oh, yeah, we’re talking later._

“Gemma? Maya? Your connection is stable for now. On the tablet in front of you are some simple math equations. Gemma, I want you to look at the question and Maya, I want you to answer it. “ Dr. Lightcap’s voice had a strange echo, and I realized I was hearing it through both my ears and Maya’s. God this was so damn weird.

_I know. You feel that pressure?_

_Yeah. It’s like a migraine is coming on._

_Lets see how long we last. What’s the equation?_

_Seven plus nine is?_   
_Really? Sixteen. Duh._

_Twelve minus four._

_Eight. Are we in kindergarten again?_

_Four plus -_

_Ten._

_I didn’t even finish reading -_

_I know, it’s like I can see it as you do. This is crazy._

“Okay, we’re going to switch it up now. Maya, you’ll see colors on your screen. Gemma, if you could speak out loud the colors Maya is seeing.”

I could see it through her eyes, the colors. Green. Orange. Blue. Red. Pink. I called each one as they came up. This Drifting thing was pretty neat, but the pressure behind my eyes was getting worse.

_Hang in there. There’s no way we’re letting Chuck get away with calling us mediocre. Cocky little shit._

_I really wonder what his problem is._

_He blames his father for leaving their mother behind in Sydney with the kaiju attacked._

_How do you know that?_

_Because I talked to Hercules while the two of you were in the kwoon, not sparring at all. Nice try, I can hear that._

_Oh, so he’s Hercules now?_

_Shut up_.

“Maya, Gemma, I’d like you to read the sentences aloud next. Try and finish them before she does, Maya.”

_Ugh, it hurts to read._

_I hope this goes away. Piloting a jaeger like this is gonna be hard._

“How can a clam cram in a..” _Are these tongue twisters? Really?_

“..a clean cream can” _Jesus I can never do these things. I can’t even think right now._

“Six sleek swans swam…”

“....Swam swiftly southwards.”

“Your connection is starting to destabilize. Can you hold it longer?”

_Probably not. I can’t concentrate and speak out loud and this pain in my head...it feels like it’s about to explode._

“No. We’re done.” Maya spoke out loud just as I heard it in her mind and suddenly the connection was gone. The ache in my head was still there though. I leaned forward on the desk and groaned.

The techs were back, removing the equipment and I tried to stand up just as Dr. Lightcap came into view. However, my legs didn’t seem to think standing was such a good idea and they buckled underneath me.

“Oh! Here, let me help you.” Dr. Lightcap helped me back into my seat, where I slumped wearily. My head was pounding.

A cup of water and a smaller plastic cup holding two little red pills is placed on the desk in front of us.

“The pain will fade as you Drift more. It’s the reaction your minds have to someone intruding. We’ve learned it’s lessened if we ease you into the full Drift like this. Drink your water and take the analgesic, and in a few moments the techs will help you to the barracks so you can lie down.” Dr. Lightcap explained, and after she told us what the pills were, I quickly tossed them back and chased them with the water.

“God I hope it does.” Maya groaned from the other side of the wall.

As strange as the feeling of having someone in my head felt, the feeling of it being empty again was weird too.

After a while, the techs encouraged us to stand and this time I found I was able to, although I was a bit wobbly. The trip downstairs again was a little more difficult and I was happy to fall into my bunk, despite the blankets being underneath me. I’d get up in a little bit, after the pain in my head subsided a bit more, shower and then get underneath the sheets.

Chell and Leon were in there, both in the same bunk, dozing, although Leon did open his eyes as we entered. I gave a small wave and he nodded and went back to sleep, his arms around his wife.

Maya and I were quiet, letting Chell and Leon sleep off their headache. I was close to falling asleep myself when the barracks door clattered open loudly and Chuck stumbled in, a pained scowl on his face. He weaved his way over to his bunk and fell in it with a groan. A minute later, Ranger Hansen came in, and I sat up at the concerned look on his face.

“Chuck -”

“No. For God’s sake, leave me be.” Chuck groaned, not lifting his head so his voice came out muffled. Ranger Hansen ran his hand across his head and then sighed and left the room. Maya climbed out of bed and followed. I glanced over at Chell and Leon, who were looking over at me questioningly. I gave them a shrug.

I wanted to get up and see if he was alright, but I was still pretty angry with him for calling me mediocre, so I stayed where I was instead.

Not my problem if their Drift didn’t go well.

* * *

 The light Drifting got easier, and within a few days, Maya and I were cleared for a full Drift. Chell and Leon shortly after us, followed by Rin and Ryoto. Chuck and Ranger Hansen had been cleared first, but one of them was an already experienced Ranger. It wasn’t two minds fighting against one another, it was just an extremely stubborn one fighting against his father.

The full Drift equipment was a little different than the other stuff, but it was no less odd to wear. I was a little nervous when the techs arranged it on my head, but I stretched myself out as much as I could to try and work some of the tension from my muscles. Again, we were seated, but eventually we’d be standing for this.

“Neural handshake in fifteen seconds. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve….” The countdown continued and I closed my eyes, trying to focus. This was the real thing, where we’d see memories as if they were our own.  They told us not to latch on, to cling to a memory and try and relive it. Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers.

Don’t chase the rabbit. Right. Like that’d be easy.

“Three. Two. One. Neural handshake initiated.”

_~~~_   
_“I always need my Dad.” Fearlovedetermination I’m gonna miss you Daddy_   
_“Better get moving, Ranger.” I will be a ranger I don’t want to disappoint you I can’t fail”_

_“Yes sir” Don’t see how scared I am. Love you Dad. I’ll make you proud._

_~~~_   
_Painpainpain Oh god why did I agree to do this it hurts so much_

_“One more push, Maya. Come on, love, you can do this.”_

_“I can’t. Please. I can’t.” So much pain make it stop._

_“Maya, she’s beautiful. You’re so wonderful.”_

_~~~_

_“Gemma maybe your mom was right.” Shock. How could you say that? I thought you loved me._

_“Stay here. Go to college. The Jaeger Academy isn’t for you.” You don’t know that. You don’t know me. Betrayal. Why would you say this to me?_

_“How would you know? I can do it.”_

_“No, you really can’t. It’s a war, Gemma. War isn’t meant for women.” How dare you? I’m going to be a pilot._

_“I’m going. I got accepted.”_   
_~~~_   
_“Maya...I...this isn’t working.” Hurt. I knew it was coming. Knew it for months. Why did I stay? Stupidstupidsupid_

_“I know. It’s okay.”_

_“I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve fucked up our friendship.”_   
_“No! You’ll always be my friend.” I can’t lose you. You’re my only friend._

_~~~_

Shaking the memories away, I opened my eyes and stared out in front of me. The presence in my mind was a comfort now, Maya radiating calm and warmth and confidence and everything I wanted to feel. I could feel her memories back there and let them flow by as best I could. They told us not to chase the rabbit but I knew that they expected us to. How long could I hold out?

_Don’t think about anything. Concentrate, Gemma. Dr. Lightcap is speaking. You can do this._

“Very nice. Neural handshake is holding. Can you try moving your arms for me?” Dr. Lightcap asked, monitoring us from a computer desk across the room. At the same time, Maya and I lifted both our arms, palms facing down. We turned our left hands up, and then our right.

“You’re doing great. Can you-”

 

_“You’ll never be the great pilot you want to be, Gemma! You’ll be a disgrace when you fail out of that fucking academy.” Why would you say that to me? You’re my mother. You’re supposed to support me._

_I won’t cry. Not in front of her. She won’t get that satisfaction._

_“You can’t say that to my daughter!” I’ve never heard Dad so angry. He looks absolutely murderous._

_“Your daughter? Did you give birth to her? I can say what I please. She’ll  never make it. You know that as well as I do. The only way she’ll make it is if she spends all her time on her knees in front of her instructors. She’s not cut out for it.” Mom continues and I flinch. I would never do that. I am cut out for it. I can do this._

 

“Gemma, don’t’ chase it. Let it go.” I could hear someone talking but I can’t focus, can’t recognize the voice. There’s a sound - is someone crying? Is it me?

 

_“Get out of my house. You’re not talking to my children like that any longer.” Dad orders, and if I didn’t know better, he looks about two seconds away from punching her. Mom laughs and scoops up her bag from the table by the door._

_“I don’t want to be here any longer. You’re all beneath me. I should have never wasted my life with any of you.” She looks at me one more time before she leaves._

_“I should have aborted you. That whole pregnancy was awful. Raising children was a waste of my time, especially two failures like you.”_

_She’s out the door. Part of me wants to chase after her, to apologize, to tell her I’d come with her, do whatever she wanted. The other part of me keeps me firmly seated on the stairs, tucked up against the wall. Simon sits beside me, tears streaming silently down his face. He’d always been the more expressive one._

__

_“Gemma...Simon. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve any of that. I’ve always been proud of you. I always will be proud of you, no matter what happens.”_

 

“They’re out of alignment. End the Drift.” I hear a voice say with the barest hint of an echo and suddenly my mind is my own again. But it feels empty. I almost wish Maya was back, I don’t want to be left alone with my memories. They hurt.

“Gemma? Maya? That was a good first Drift. Everyone chases the rabbit at some point. Are you alright?” Captain D’Onofrio appears in front of us with two cups of water, and I take mine and drink greedily until it’s empty.

“Yeah...I’m fine. I think.” I reach up and feel my cheeks. They’re damp. It was me crying. But I look over at Maya and see the same thing. I’m not even sure who chased it, me or her. But it obviously affected us both.

“I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news, but as soon as you get your wits about you, you’ll need to step in and see the psychoanalysts. It’s procedure, but all of us hate it.” The captain says, and I nod. We knew it was coming. This was the worst memory I could think of. I knew what Maya’s was, and I expected we’d be chasing that at some point.

It’s terrible to say, but I’d rather look up on a kaiju than relive what my mother said to me. At least I know I have the strength to fight that.

Later that evening, I was alone in the barracks. Maya went up to the rec room to watch television with the others, needing to clear her mind. We didn’t talk about what we saw in the Drift. I’m sure we would at some point, but we had an entire week coming up where we could. I sat on my bunk, flipping through a paperback but not really reading the words.  I didn’t even notice anyone had come in until I heard someone talking.

“Never pegged you for the trashy vampire romance type.” Chuck said, sitting himself down on the bunk beside me. His eyes were red. Had he been crying? I couldn’t imagine what he saw when he Drifted with his father. Memories of his mother?

“Insult Anne Rice again and your father is going to have to find a new co-pilot.” I said, setting the book aside. It was worn. I had read it dozens of times, seen the movie just as many.

“Sometimes I wish he would. But the brass won’t let him. We’re compatible. It’s awful.” He said with a sigh. I tried very hard to remember that I was still mad at him for the mediocre comment. I kept silent and he looked at me with this sad, kicked puppy look. I think this was the first time I’d seen Chuck well and truly upset. 

“I didn’t mean it, you know.” He said after a while. At least men everywhere weren’t completely clueless. This was probably as close to an apology as I’d get from him.

“It’s okay. I know I’m not mediocre. Not the best, but I’m not terrible.” I said lightly.  If anyone deserved that Mark 5 jaeger, it was Chell and Leon. They got top marks in the class, they were fantastic together in the kwoon, and their Drifting was phenomenal. I overheard Meyers and Moreau calling them the next Kaidonovsky.

We were silent again. I picked up my book again, just for something to do with my hands.

“What do you plan on doing during our leave?” He asked, when I opened it up to a random page. I shrugged.

“Gonna go home. See my dad and my brother. And his girlfriend, I guess. Gonna be an aunt soon, I suppose I should buy them a gift.” I hadn’t really thought about my brother much. Or the baby he’s having. I wasn’t sure what to do for them. It wasn’t like I could come to the baby shower. Or be there when the kid is born.

“Sounds like fun. I’ll probably stay here with my old man.” He said, not sounding pleased. Maybe it was because I had such a close relationship with my dad, but I really didn’t understand his reluctance to do anything with his dad.

“We can text each other when we need a break.” I offered and I saw him purse his lips and glance down at his hand where I’d written my number weeks ago. “Or did you lose my number?”

“No, I have it. I just can’t imagine you needing a break. You and your dad get on pretty well.” He said. He wasn’t wrong. I probably wouldn’t need a break, but I was opening the option for him.

“Maybe not from him. My brother is a handful though.” I said casually, flipping the page in my book.

“I bet. I thought twins were supposed to be close.” He mumbled. I closed the book again, giving up the pretense of reading it. I wondered how different he’d be if he had a sibling. Or would they both be the same? That’s a terrible thought.

“Not always. We’re not identical.”

“I’d hope not. Unless you’re hiding something underneath those cargo pants.” He said and I arches an eyebrow at him. Did he really want to go there?

“You know that I’m not.” I replied and color rushed to his cheeks. I smirked at him and he gave  a small laugh and looked away.

“Yeah….not proud of that. Not proud of my old man seeing it either.” He told me. I know how it feels to have someone see things you’re not proud of. Maya doesn’t judge though. I’ve seen plenty of things she hid from everyone. It’s really odd to think about, how we’ll know each other just as well as we know ourselves. The Drift was pretty powerful. Pretty dangerous.

“The Drift is a weird place. But you’ll get used to it. We all will.” I tell him He opens his mouth to say something and the barracks door opens and the others tumble in, laughing about whatever they watched. He looks at them and then gets up and goes over to his own bunk. Maya gives me a look but stays silent as she strips down for bed. We’ll have a lot to talk about over the break. Or maybe not. We still have four days of Drifting left.

* * *

 It is a balmy 45 degrees when we stepped out of the Airport in Atlanta. After the freezing temperatures we had gotten used to in Anchorage, Maya and I stripped ourselves of our sweaters and went looking for my father’s car.

He was waiting in the parking lot, even though he wanted to wait for me inside. I didn’t want to get emotional in front of a crowd of people, so I asked him to wait for me out here.

Still, after a little over four months without seeing him, I did cry a little bit when he stepped out of the car to hug me. It had been the longest time I had gone without seeing him. After we separated, I introduce him to Maya, and he hugs her too as if she was one of his own children. I should have warned her that he was a hugger, but I just kind of figured she saw it in the Drift.

Being in the city I grew up in was comforting. We stopped for cheeseburgers at my favorite place, Dad and Maya nearly coming to blows over paying for it. Dad was just a little bit faster with his bank card. I laughed at the both of them and slipped cash into my Dad’s pocket when he wasn’t paying attention. I had a paycheck now, just sitting in my bank account doing next to nothing. It was the least I could do.

Coming home, I felt the weight I was carrying drop off. I couldn’t wait to have my first bath in months, to see my cat, to go and sit in my backyard and look up at the stars. As much as I loved Atlanta itself, living out in the countryside was a blessing.

After getting Maya settled into her room, I went into mine. Everything was exactly how I left it. There were balls of yarn in a basket beside my chair. My bed was neatly made, the pillow resting up against the wall. The desk had a few books stacked here and there, and the lid to my laptop was closed.

Something moved against my leg and I looked down to see a orange and white mass of fur.

“You’ve gotten fat, Watson.” He meowed up at me and I bent down to pick him up. Immediately he began to purr and I buried my face into his fur.

“I’ve missed you, handsome.” I said and he meowed again, wigging this time. I set him down on the bed and sit down beside him, looking around my room. Posters decorate the walls. Gipsy Danger was right by the door. Over by my mirror, Lucky Seven posed heroically. On either side of my bed were Horizon Brave and Romeo Blue. On my closet door there was a chart with the names of jaegers and their kill counts. Pictures of the pilots were taped above them.

“Wow. I knew kids had posters of the jaegers, but this…” Maya stood in the doorway, looking around. I rolled my eyes with a smile. Watson jumped off the bed and wound himself around Maya’s feet. She looked down at him, kneeling to pet him.

“That’s Watson. He’ll mew at you with this pathetic look on his face. Don’t give him treats. He’s fat enough. Dad must have been spoiling him.”

“He didn’t have you around to spoil. It’s a precious relationship, fathers and daughters.”

“What about fathers and sons?” I heard my brother speak up from behind Maya and she turned around. He appeared in the doorway with a grin on his face.

“Heard you were back for a while, loser. How is it going?” He asked. Maya stared at him for a second, and then looked over at me. We didn't look too much alike, and that always surprised people when we told them that we were twins.

“Just fine, punk. If my scores are high enough next trimester, they’re gonna put me in a jaeger.” I said and he broke into a huge grin.

“God help the kaiju. You’re gonna chase them home.” He stepped into the room and I stood up to give him a hug too.

“If they know what’s good for them, they’ll stop coming. Simon, this is my co-pilot, Maya Cadle. Maya, this is my twin brother Simon.” I introduced them. They shook hands and Simon turned back to me.

“So, Dad’s not gonna tell you this, because he’s Dad, but Derek came by a couple weeks back.” Simon said, pulling out my desk chair and dropping into it. Maya came into the room, clearly interested. Ever since we Drifted, she’s always sticking her nose in my relationship business. Then again, she knows my mind now.

“So? He broke up with me, I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.” I replied, crossing my arms. And it’s the truth. The first few weeks, I did miss him. But now, I don’t. He doesn’t deserve me.

“Seemed to think you would have washed out by this point. He seemed quite surprised when I told him that you made the second cut and would be continuing on the third.” Simon continued, reaching down to pat Watson on the head as the cat passed underneath him.

“Of course he did. It’s the reason why he broke up with me. Didn’t want to see me all upset when I failed. ‘Couldn’t handle it, seeing me crushed’, was what he said.” I said, more for Simon’s benefit than Maya’s. Maya knew everything.

“Well, when they start selling posters of your jaeger with your names attached to it, I’ll buy a hundred and send them to his house. You can do it, Gem. Anyone who says otherwise can have their tongue cut out.” Simon got up and walked to the door.

“I like your brother.” Maya tells me as Simon disappeared across the threshold. I grinned at her.

“Yeah, he’s alright.”

After dinner, which Dad insisted he needed no help with, I made my way out to the backyard, Watson on my heels. I held an old quilt and a thermos of hot chocolate and Maya held a couple of pillows. We had our sweaters back on now. It wasn’t quite as cold as Alaska, but it was still chilly. We went past the swingset and towards the end of the fence, as far away from the house as we could get without going over the weather worn wood.

My phone chimed as I laid out the quilt and I dug it out of my pocket as Maya set down the pillows.

“I thought we came out here to watch the stars, not so you could text your boyfriend.”

“We did. And he’s not my boyfriend.”

//I’m already bored.//

“Might as well be. He’s interested. And sure, he’s kind of a jerk, but he’s still young and cocky. He’ll grow out of it. And he’s better looking than Derek was.” Maya comments, dropping down onto the quilt and reaching for the thermos. I handed it over to her and type back a response. She wasn’t exactly wrong. He had that accent too, which was really working for me.

\\\Starry night here. Go look at them.\\\

“Why, so his dad can see what we’re up to any time they Drift? No thanks.” I tell her and Maya passes the thermos to me. I sipped from it, enjoying the warmth and the chocolate. It was getting harder to come by. Everything was. The war with the kaiju was taking its toll on the economy. We had to end it sooner or later.

“You should be more worried about me seeing what you get up to. Or maybe not, since I don’t really care. If I cared, we wouldn’t be compatible. Go for it. It’ll be a good thing for him. He’ll get his mind off of whatever’s got him so pissed off at his father for a while.” Maya said and laid back on the ground again. "It'll be good for you too. You should date a lot while you're young."

//You kidding me? It’s freezing outside.//

I roll my eyes at my phone and snap a quick picture of the thermos sitting on the quilt between us and send it to him.

\\\Mess hall has coffee. Go get some. Don’t be a baby.\\\

“Ugh. Next you’ll be sending him sexts. C’mon, Gemma. Have a little class.” Maya teased, and I reached over and shoved her playfully.

“I’ll only show a little ankle.” I joked and lift my phone back up to my face when I got another message.

//I think I’ll pass. Meyers and Moreau are in there and I’m not interrupting what they’re up to.// I gasped at this message and Maya swiped at the phone and giggled with glee when she snatched it from me to read the message.

“I knew those two were up to something. Did you see her look when he came into Ops with lipstick on his collar? She was pissed. He needs to send pictures.” Maya tapped out a message on my phone before I could grab it back.

\\\Pics or it didn’t happen\\\

“I can’t believe you’re making him do that.” I told her and Maya shrugged.

“He probably won’t.”

“Good. That’s very rude. And invasive.” I replied but secretly hoped that he would send one anyways, because I didn’t quite believe it.

//Couldn’t. Marshal Pentecost was coming down the hall. Left him to deal with it instead. Hiding in the rec room now.// I grinned at the idea of Chuck running down the hall away from Pentecost. It’s an amusing image.

“He said the Marshal got in the way. Maybe we’ll see something when we get back.” I explain and Maya sat up and pressed a hand on her chest.

“Gemma! I had no idea you were a voyeur.” She said, but her tone of voice implied that she was joking. Of course she was. She knew what I've seen, felt me recoil from her more intimate memories. There were a lot.

“Maybe I got a taste of it from all the times I saw you going at it in the Drift.” I tease back. Maya just made a dismissive noise and settled back down.

“Sex is not the enemy. Nothing wrong with living life to the fullest.”

No, I suppose there isn’t. Not when we could all die any day. Especially for a jaeger pilot. It was probably why a lot of them were found in clubs and bars while off duty. And it’s not like there wasn’t anyone willing and available. Jaegerflies were everywhere in the cities with Shatterdomes.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

* * *

 New Years Eve was upon us, and I found myself wishing I had someone to kiss at midnight. Instead, I found myself tucked onto the sofa with a glass of sparkling grape juice to toast as the ball dropped and the New Year arrived.

Dad kissed my cheek and my brother did his best to dip his girlfriend and kiss her, which I suppose he thought was romantic, but I was familiar with how a pregnant woman’s back felt. She was seven months along and her belly was huge.

I recieved a text a minute into the new year and I smiled as I read the sender’s name.

//Happy New Year, Gemma.//

Alaska was four hours behind us, and if I was awake at that time, I’d send him the same message.

\\\What, no kiss?\\\ I send back, feeling a little flirty. Maybe Maya was right. Maybe I should try and get involved with Chuck. What did I have to lose? Sure, at the end of the next trimester, he’d be on his way to Sydney probably, and I’d be placed somewhere far away, but I’m sure that for a while, we could make things work.

I recieved a picture message from him, and I open it to see a handful of Hershey kisses sitting on the table. Underneath the image was a message.

//As many as you want.//

My heart fluttered a little in my chest and I tucked my phone away before Maya came over and stole it from me to see what I was texting.

I set an alarm before I went to bed so I could wake up and text him. When I woke up as the alarm went off, I grabbed my phone and headed for my bathroom. I ran a brush through my hair quickly and took a quick picture in the mirror, me blowing him a kiss.

\\\How about all of them? Happy New Year, Chuck.\\\

I returned to bed to wait and see what he had to say. I didn’t have to wait long.

//Hurry back. They may be gone before you get here.//

That I doubted, but I was too tired to reply, so I set my phone back on my nightstand and went back to sleep. I could think of something clever in the morning.

The rest of our little vacation went by in a blur of delicious home cooked meals, movies, and trips into Atlanta to shop for late Christmas presents, as Maya and I weren’t able to do so while at the Academy. I didn’t see Derek, although I didn’t expect to. My success would be enough to keep him away. And I didn’t have time for him anyways.

It seemed like no time had passed at all when Dad was dropping Maya and I off at the airport. The next time I saw him, I’d be a Ranger. Maybe I’d buy him a plane ticket out to wherever I was stationed. Hopefully some place warmer than Alaska. They called it the Icebox for a reason, after all.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Watts. I’ll keep her out of trouble.” Maya told him, but I was too busy texting Chuck to really mind. I don’t need keeping and she knows that, but it makes my Dad happy to hear it.

“Always going to be proud of you. Knock ‘em dead, Gemma.” Dad smiled at me and I threw my arms around him to give him one last hug before we go through security.

“Of course, Dad. I’ll see you. And stop giving Watson so many treats! He’ll get so fat he can’t walk.” I called to him as we go get in line at the security checkpoint.

There is no apprehension in returning to Alaska this time. No, now, I’m ready. My dream is within reach, and I’ve come too far to fail now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of Gemma's education at the Jaeger Academy. Next, we have eight weeks of combat simulator drops, romance, and teenagers being teenagers. There will likely be several cameos and if all works out according to plan, everyone will learn a very hard lesson at the end of the next chapter. Of course, that may be the chapter after, if I get too long winded. It happens. 
> 
> There are probably mistakes I didn't catch, but for whatever reason I decided to switch tenses halfway through the work, and then switch back towards the end, so I had to go back and fix that. If it looks a little wonky, that's probably why. 
> 
> Leave me a review, and if you like me enough, you can find me on tumblr, just use the url below!
> 
> ladylaiacona.tumblr.com


	5. Anchorage, Alaska January 4th, 2020 - February 1st, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Excited to finally start the jaeger simulator trials, Gemma doesn't quite expect some of the issues she faces in them. There's also some romance, and some devastating news delivered.

It was strange how coming back to the Academy felt like coming home, in a way. The Shatterdome was a comforting sight as our small plane landed on the airstrip, and out on the proving grounds I saw a jaeger lumbering along. It wasn’t one I recognized, so it had to be one of the new Mark 4s they had brought here for the graduates of this class. I wondered who was in the pilot seats.

Our room assignments had changed yet again. Now, instead of the barracks, we were set up in a type of dorm in the Shatterdome itself. There were several small rooms arranged around a central sitting area and kitchenette. Most of the rooms would go unused, as they had been designed for a bigger class. It was a replica of how we’d be living once we got our jaegers, in close quarters with the other jaeger teams.

Maya and I briefly argued over who got the bottom bunk, and she won, since she tended to move around in her sleep more than me. I didn’t like the idea of sleeping so high off the ground, but I guess I'd get used to it.

With our bedroom door open, we heard the others coming in and picking their rooms. Maya went out to say hi while I arranged our bathroom. It was nice to finally have a space of our own, since I could be particular about little things, like which side of the sink the bar of soap rested on, how the towels were folded and how things were arranged on the shower caddy. It had been bothering me to share a communal bathroom with the others, and now it was just Maya. She didn’t care, although occasionally she did move the soap to the other side, just to irritate me.

After that, I hung up my uniforms in the small closet that was hardly bigger than the lockers we had previously and went out to greet everyone myself.

I found Chell and Leon in the room right next to ours. The two of them were busy putting their clothing away, shaking out the wrinkles from the duffel bags they were stored in. Both had lovely tans and they told me they went to Hawaii during the break. Leon’s sisters were on vacation there, and they had a wonderful time on the beach. They both couldn’t wait to get started with the combat simulators. I was happy to see them back.

Maya was in the room with Rin and Ryoto, laughing with them at some joke. They told me the story - apparently Rin had gotten a little too carried away with the New Years celebrations and was found asleep in someone’s garden curled around a puppy. No one was sure where the puppy had come from. Her cheeks were pink from embarrassment, but she was laughing goodnaturedly and didn’t mind sharing.

“When everyone is settled in, Gemma and I have some gifts for everyone. Just small things.” Maya told them. They both nodded and started unpacking their belongings. Maya and I left to give them space and went to explore our common area.

The room was round, with several couches and chairs arranged in the center around a low circular table. The kitchenette was on the wall opposite the bedrooms and was really nothing more than a couple of electric heating elements and a small fridge. We were still expected to go down to the mess hall for meals.

“Ooh, these are soft. I might sleep on these instead of my bunk.” Maya said, sinking down into one of the couches. I dropped into a chair and agreed with her. These were comfy.

“Most Shatterdomes spoil their Rangers.” Ranger Hansen entered the room, followed by Chuck. He was scowling when he walked in the door but when he looked at me his scowl melted and he smiled. I couldn’t help but smile back. “There’s a pool in Sydney.”

“If they put a pool here, it’ll freeze over. Good for ice skating, though.” Maya replied with a smile of her own.

“I wouldn’t risk injury at this stage. Anyone come to talk to you yet?” Ranger Hansen asked crossing to a closed door. He opened it, dropped his own duffel bag inside and then came back to sit with us.

“Not yet. Do enlighten us, what are we facing this trimester?” Maya threw her arms across the back of the couch and crossed her legs, appearing quite casual. But I knew Maya and I rolled my eyes.

“At least four combat drops a week. Some twice a day. Some during the day, some late at night. They’ll call you when you’re in  the shower, when you’re in the kwoon, doesn’t matter.” Ranger Hansen dropped into another chair. The others came from their rooms, settling down to listen too.

“At the beginning, the simulator pod will test you on different jaegers. You’ll never get the same one twice in a row. Sometimes, you’ll hop in the pod and your jaeger will be damaged somehow. You’ll have to work around it. Some drops, you’ll have a time limit, or an acceptable number of civilian casualties. If you don’t meet those objectives, you’ll still fail your drop, even if you kill the kaiju.” He explained and I frowned a bit. This was a little more difficult than I was expecting.

“Towards the end, they’ll test you in a simulation of the jaeger model they plan to assign to you. Sometimes, they assign you to another jaeger in the end, depending on your scores. Those Mark 4s though, they’re easy enough to pilot. You shouldn’t have an issue with them.”

“Giving away all the secrets, Herc?” Dr. Lightcap entered the room, a tablet in hand. Ranger Hansen just shrugged.

“Not all of them. Just making sure they’re as prepared as I was.” He replied easily. She smiled at him.

“Of course. He’s been here before, he’d know best how to advise you. What he didn’t tell you is that you’ll still be coming to the Drift labs three times a week to monitor your Drift synchronization.” She passed around sheets of paper with the schedules on it. I figured it was safe to assume that we wouldn’t be doing combat drops during those times.

“You know, it’s really not fair. Chuck’s been in your head, he’s got all the secrets as to how this goes.” Maya said and I sighed. She was right.

“It’s not like I needed that advantage.” Chuck said, pulling over one of the chairs from the small table in the kitchenette. He flipped it around and straddled it, resting his arms on the back.

“Oh, don’t worry. We’ve planned some things for this class that will give even Herc here a challenge. Have a good evening everyone. Jaeger sims start tomorrow!” Dr. Lightcap said with what only could be described as a devious smile and left the room. I was incredibly unsettled that such a quiet, caring woman could have such a look.

“Well, now that we’re all appropriately terrified about our combat drops, “ Maya began, uncrossing her legs and standing up (there was a muttered ‘speak for yourself’ from Chuck), “Gemma and I have gifts for you.”

I stood up with her and we went into our room to retrieve the boxes that contained everything. Chell and Leon got a couple of cookbooks written by an author from Atlanta. I know the two of them loved to cook in their off-time and would enjoy these. Rin received an autographed copy of the next novel in her favorite book series(I had lucked out with this one, the author happened to be doing a signing in the mall) and Ryoto got a couple of novels that tied in with a TV series he had been watching before he signed up for the Academy.

Getting something for Chuck and Ranger Hansen had been a little harder. With all the flirting Chuck and I did, I still wasn’t sure what he liked besides chocolate candies. I did know a little bit more about Ranger Hansen, thanks to a piece a news outlet did a few years back on what Rangers did during their free time. Turned out, while Scott Hansen worked his way through the bars in whatever city he was in, Hercules Hansen spent his time building models.

I wasn’t too familiar with model building, but my brother dabbled in it briefly while we were in high school. He learned that he didn’t have the patience for it, but I was able to ask for suggestions on what to get. I ended up with a model helicopter, which I felt was fitting, since before he stepped into a jaeger, he was a helicopter pilot for the Royal Australian Air Force.

He smiled warmly at me when he opened to box and lifted it up to inspect it.

“I hope you like it. I don’t imagine you’ll have time for it now, but after we graduate and get our assignments, I’m sure you’ll have a little down time.” I told him, and he nodded and set it aside to gather the wrapping paper he had set aside.

“Thank you, Gemma. Very thoughtful of you.” He replied, getting up to put the paper in the garbage. I really hoped he liked it.

Chuck was harder, and I had to ask both my dad and my brother for advice. What did 16 year old boys like? They both gave me the same answer. Pocketknives. So that’s what I did.

It wasn’t anything special, just a blade (a very sharp blade) that flipped open and locked into place. The handle and blade were both black, and it seemed pretty durable. I’m not sure what he’d need one for, but as my dad said, it’s always useful to have a knife.

“I did check the Academy rules, and you’re allowed to have it around, but you won’t be able to carry it with you into the jaeger. The drivesuits don’t exactly have pockets.” I said as Chuck examined it. He seemed pleased with it and the little bag of chocolates.

“Wouldn’t be very useful there anyway, unless kaiju have a weakness to small knives we didn’t know about.” Chuck shrugged and tucked it away in his pocket, which I guess meant he liked it. There wasn’t a thank you, but I wasn’t exactly expecting one from him anyways.

“ I feel a little bad that we didn’t get you anything.” Leon said, still paging through his cookbook. Maya waved a hand.

“It’s no big deal. Christmases were always a big thing around my house, and Gemma’s dad always made sure to do something special for her and her brother. It was important to us to give, which is what the season was about anyways.” Maya explained as I gathered up what was left of the wrapping paper to throw away.

“If I had more time, I’d have knit everyone something. But I’m not that fast. I’ll probably get started on next year’s gifts as soon as we finish up here and I get my Shatterdome assignment.” I told everyone. I was a fast knitter, but not that fast. We were expected to graduate at the beginning of March. I’d have plenty of time to knit a few sweaters, some hats and scarves and a pair of gloves or two by next Christmas.

We sat in the common area for a while longer, chatting about our breaks. I noticed that Chuck kept looking at me and I wished that we could get a minute alone so I knew what he wanted to say. He was clearly thinking about something. But Maya yawned and stood up, announcing that we should all get some sleep, since there was no telling when they’d call for the first team to do a drop. I could have stayed behind, but she was right. I’d have to talk to him some other time.

I got up and followed her to bed, climbing up onto the top bunk and settling in. I don’t know why they couldn’t have given us two bunks side by side. It was weird, trying to not roll around too much. I hoped I wouldn’t fall out of bed.

The next morning came, and as Maya and I made our way out to the mess hall, we heard the annoucement come for Chell and Leon’s first drop. They rushed by us, giving nervous grins. I hoped everything went well for them. They were damn good together, but none of us knew what the challenges would be, setting foot into a jaeger for the first time. Well, none of us but Chuck, who was able to experience many things through his father’s memories.

We didn’t see Chell and Leon for most of the day, which was a little nerve-wracking. Were they still in the simulator? Were they okay? I wondered throughout the day, and Maya did her best to take me to the kwoon for some sparring to keep my mind off it.

A little after two, we got our call. I had just gotten out of the shower and was sitting down with my own book, another Anne Rice novel, when I heard our names over the intercom speakers in the common room.

_“Cadle, Watts, report to simulator trials. Cadle, Watts, report to simulator trials.”_ I set my book aside and stood up when Maya came out of our bedroom, tugging on her shirt. Together, we hurried through the halls towards the simulator room.

Really, it was better described as a hall. There was a complete Conn-Pod replica in this room, held in place by arms that would allow it to move as if it was in an actual jaeger. It would shake and roll underneath us, giving us that extra bit of simulation we’d need.

“Welcome, you two. Are you ready?” Dr. Lightcap asked as some techs swarmed around us, putting us into our drivesuits. The circuitry suit was tight-fitting, not allowing us to wear anything but our undergarments underneath it. At least it was a little bit breathable. Over that was shell that everyone called the battle suit. It was some type of armor that protected us from any blows we might receive in the Conn-Pod. It helped the circuitry suit feed biometric data to LOCCENT. Helmets were pulled on after, although mine was a tight fit. I decided to have Maya cut my hair after this, instead of trying to wear it all underneath. I know some of the female pilots didn’t have an issue but I didn’t like the feeling.

“Ready as we’ll ever be.” I answered as soon as the relay gel cleared.

“Good. You two have a strong Drift, you’ll do just fine.” She said, and the door was opened. Maya stepped inside, taking her place on the right side. I stepped in on the left. Techs locked us into the harnesses and then left, sealing the door behind us.

I felt a shiver of anticipation. This was as close to a jaeger as I could get without stepping into an actual one. I hoped that I’d do well. Drifting with Maya was easy enough, but we didn’t have to control a massive machine at the same time. It’d be a different experience altogether.

“Maya, Gemma, this is Captain Sergio D’Onofrio. I’ll be in charge of your drop this afternoon. Conn-Pod secure, engaging drop in fifteen seconds.” A voice filtered through the speakers in our helmets and Maya and I looked at each other with almost identical faces. We were a little more than nervous. I’d almost call it fear.

“Drop in five. Four. Three. Two. One.” The world suddenly fell out from underneath us as the Conn-Pod lurched, simulating the drop we’d take as the pod traveled from storage to the jaeger. Thankfully, I didn’t get motion sickness, but I knew Maya did. Her stomach must be turning. I hoped she wouldn’t be sick, there wasn’t any room in our helmets.

After a moment, it stopped moving and I felt it as the simulator shifted, linking up with an imaginary jaeger. I wondered which one we’d be piloting - they hadn’t told us yet.

“Ladies, the jaeger you’re in this evening is Romeo Blue. We’ll be calling you as such on any communications. Do you copy?” Captain D’Onofrio said through our speakers.

“Romeo Blue copies, LOCCENT.” Maya answered, a little unsteadily. Still, she was able to remember the correct radio protocol. She couldn’t be doing that bad.

“Roger, Romeo Blue. Engaging pilot-to-pilot protocol.”

Inside, the jaeger’s AI announced that the pilot-to-pilot connection had initialized. In a moment, we’d enter the Drift and meld with our jaeger.

“Romeo Blue, ready for drift, LOCCENT.” I said and a second later, I heard the answering response from the captain.

“Prepare for neural handshake. Starting in fifteen seconds. Fourteen. Thirteen.” And the countdown went from there. I realized I was trembling from both anticipation and my nervousness. I wasn’t sure how this would go. Would it go badly? Would we do alright? Why hadn’t Chell and Leon appeared after their test? Were they okay?

“Neural handshake initiated.” The AI announced and suddenly I was Drifting. Maya’s memories whipped by in our shared headspace as we acclimatized to each other. It didn’t take as long as it used to, as we schooled our minds to remain calm, to let them pass. Still, I could feel her nausea as if it was my own and I swallowed. I didn’t get motion sickness, but I never did handle nausea well. There was no such thing as ‘mild’ with me. I was now hoping I wouldn’t get sick.

Drifting was the easy part. Melding with the jaeger, not so much. It was heavy. I suddenly felt like I weighed as much as the jaeger. Almost eight thousand tons. I wasn’t sure how I was still on my feet.

_“Romeo Blue, drift holding, but it’s a little shaky. Is there a problem?”_ Captain D’Onofrio asked. I wasn’t sure if I could answer without throwing up, but I swallowed thickly and did my best.

_“Little bit of nausea. I also feel incredibly heavy.”_ Being honest was the best thing for us, we were told. It would give all the techs and scientists the best information for our jaegers. Still, I didn’t like admitting there was a problem at all.

_“Romeo Blue is incredibly heavy. Can you work through the nausea? You’ll adjust to the weight if you can get through the calibrations.”_ He came back, and I reached out to Maya.

_C’mon. We can do this. We have to do this._

_I know. Just...let me adjust_.

_“Left hemisphere, calibrating.”_ I said out loud, struggling to lift my arms. On our heads-up display, I watched Romeo Blue mimic my movements.

_“Right hemisphere…...calibrating.”_ There was a strain in Maya’s voice as she struggled through it, and I had to swallow again, fighting the urge to throw up. It was getting harder to. I just had to not think about it. It was hard though, even when it was just secondhand from Maya.

_“Calibrations complete.”_ The AI announced, and I felt a little weight slip away, but it was still heavy as hell.

_“Romeo Blue, your orders are to intercept the kaiju off the coast of San Francisco. Do you copy?”_ LOCCENT informed us. Did they really expect us to manage that?

_“Romeo Blue copies.”_ Maya said. We started to lift our left leg, to walk in the direction the HUD pointed us, and then there was a surge of intense nausea, of panic, wasn’t sure from whom. Maya reached up and ripped her helmet off, severing the neural handshake. It was harsh and unexpected, leaving a ragged hole in my head I struggled to close off. It wasn’t supposed to be cut off like that. There was a failsafe and it severed my connection to the jaeger so there wouldn’t be any neural overload. Still, it hurt.

Maya, however, was leaning as far forward as she could in the harness, throwing up. My stomach gave a sympathetic lurch and I struggled to get my helmet off as well. I didn’t know if I’d throw up but I didn’t want to do it while wearing something that covered my head.

“Ladies? You cut your connection, is there a problem?” Captain D’Onofrio asked over the Conn-Pod’s speakers. I reached up and thumbed the microphone button.

“Maya kind of….threw up. I still might.” I said, and I heard a clank coming from behind me. They were opening the Conn-Pod to get us out.

Techs rushed in, pulling us out from our harnesses. The minute mine released, I dropped to my knees on the flooring, and the sudden movement had me heaving my guts up as well. Medics appeared, pulling us from the Pod and into the hall. The air in there was cool and fresh, and I sighed in relief. Now, if only I could get out of this damn drivesuit.

We were taken to Medical, where we were monitored carefully. Maya was a little worse off than I was, seeing as how I was just feeling her nausea through the Drift. It was fading, but every now and then I felt a little queasy, even though after I had vomited, I felt tons better.

When I brought it up with the nurses, one of them gave the other a look, and she disappeared out the door. A moment later, Dr. Lightcap came in the room. I had to explain my feelings all over again to her, and she hummed and tapped a stylus against the edge of her tablet.

“It sounds like ghost drifting. I know you covered it in your Drift Science classes. It happens from time to time, and more often the longer you Drift. Maya severed the connection rather harshly, and your mind is still reaching out for hers. You’re picking up signals from time to time.” She explained. Ghost drifting had always seemed like a story to me, something that the pilots talked about but didn’t actually experience, like the rumors that the jaegers were actually sentient and moved occasionally. I hadn’t taken it seriously.

“How do I stop?” I asked. Dr. Lightcap pursed her lips at me. It wasn’t that I didn’t like being in Maya’s mind. She was usually calm and collected, and it was a relief to have that in my head to relax me and my racing thoughts.

“There are some meditation exercises I could give you, but the best option is to let it close on its own. Take a nap. I’ll have the nurses bring her in here, they should know better than to separate pilots. Once you’re cleared by the doctor, they’ll escort you back to your room so you can rest more there.” She told me, and left the room. I heard some talking just outside the door but I decided to take her advice immediately. A nap sounded good. A shower sounded even better, but I’d do that later, once we got back to our room.

I guess this answered the question as to what happened with Chell and Leon. They probably had similar issues. I’d ask them when I saw them next.

Maya was brought into the room in a wheelchair, and I smiled weakly at her as they lifted her onto the other cot. She turned onto her left side, facing me.

“That…..went well.” She mumbled, pulling a blanket up around her chin. I sighed and closed my eyes.

“If Chuck doesn’t puke I’m going to be very upset.” I replied and Maya gave me a small laugh.

We both dozed, my stomach still twinging from time to time, but for the most part I was calm. Maya’s presence seemed to do that.

* * *

The next few weeks were a blur of constant combat drops. It got better after that first one, although we both had issues with being heavy. Maya and I were strong and in good shape, but it seemed like a lot of these jaegers were designed with men and their muscle power in mind. The calibrations were some help, but after each drop my muscles and joints ached.

We had better luck with the jaegers that were piloted solely by women. There weren’t many. Eden Assassin was a two-woman team, as was Hydra Corinthian. I was hoping we’d get a turn in Nova Hyperion next. She was a Mark 4 jaeger, piloted by two women, and it’d be the closest example to what we might be piloting.

Between the combat drops, the constant drifting, and the combat training Maya and I did all the time, I could feel the stress building. It was like the first trimester all over again. I never knew if I’d be woken up late at night to do some strenuous activity. My body was all out of alignment and even Maya could tell. She forced me to Medical after two weeks went by without me having my period.

There wasn’t much they could do, since it was likely caused by stress(although I was badgered into taking a pregnancy test anyways, since Drifting and piloting a jaeger, even a simulated one, was prohibited while pregnant) and I was sent back to the room with the advice to come back if it still wasn’t around after a month.

The others were having difficulties with their drops too, although Chell and Leon were doing better than even they expected. They had killed their first kaiju, although it was only when the reactor for Cherno Alpha blew, killing them both. Rin and Ryoto had gotten close, severely wounding several of their targets.

I wasn’t sure how Chuck and Ranger Hansen were doing, but they always seemed to come back angry with each other. I kind of assumed the Drift would clear things up between them, but it just seemed to make things worse. There were a couple of shouting matches, although they were thankfully behind closed doors, where all we could hear were muffled voices.

Our next drop had us in Coyote Tango taking down Kaiceph. When the announced the kaiju we’d be after, I felt Maya’s sliver of fear, quickly stomped by anger and determination. Now she could do something about it.

Her memory of that event had pulled me out of alignment more times than once, and I fought to let it go now. Coyote Tango was a monster of a jaeger, but we had piloted her once before.

_“Coyote Tango, moving to engage target.”_ Maya announced and we took several steps forward. Kaiceph turned around roared at us. We sounded the horn in response, and it charged.

_“Targeting mortar cannons.”_ I called, keying up the commands on my virtual display. Kaiceph got closer and I squeezed my hand into a fist and punched it forward. Both cannons gave a ‘thunk’ sound and a second later, two mortars impacted Kaiceph. The kaiju roared in pain.

_“Let’s get in close and finish this bastard!”_ Maya shouted, and as one we moved again. She activated the EnergyCaster, the jaeger’s fist retracting and allowing the weapon to come forward.

Lunging at us, Kaiceph raked his claws up the side of the jaeger, knocking us back. Systems screamed at us, alerting us of the damage. Even the Conn-Pod took some.  We needed to end this before it breached our armor.

_“Just a few more seconds! Gemma, hold him off!”_ Maya shouted, and I threw my arm out to hold the kaiju back as best I could while she charged our weapon. The kaiju had other plans though, and used its other arm to grab mine and tugged hard, damn near dislocating the arm in the process. My circuitry suit responded by shocking me, the pain prompting me to yank my arm back towards my body.

  _Maya now!There’s no time!_

She discharged the EnergyCaster, catching Kaiceph in the shoulder, but it wasn't quite enough and the kaiju came at us again, hooking it’s claws on the Conn-Pod and squeezing. There was a sound of protesting metal and an intense pressure in my head and then...

“Simulation terminated.” The AI announced and our displays went dead. We died. I groaned and felt Maya’s frustration, her anger, through the Drift.

“Almost. Next time we’ll get one.” I said out loud and I felt her annoyance. I knew she wanted the satisfaction of killing this one. She couldn’t do it when the actual attack happened, but she could have now. And we failed again.

The Drift was ended and we climbed out of the pod and into the drivesuit room to allow the techs to strip us. I was glad the important bits were covered, but I didn't really mind otherwise as I was peeled out of my circuitry suit. My clothes were folded neatly on the bench and as soon as I could, I pulled on my cargo pants. Maya was dressing beside me and I could feel her irritation, even though I was reasonably certain we weren't ghost drifting.

Maya tugged on her T-shirt and stomped her feet into her boots. She barely paused to lace them up before she was grabbing her button-up and stalking from the room. I hurried to pull my own boots on and followed, grabbing both my shirts on the way.

Running after Maya, I managed to put at least my undershirt on before anyone said anything. They were already staring.

I caught up to her outside the gym. I hadn’t expected her to go there, as she usually went to our room to shower after a drop. Maya did like to express her frustration by beating up the punching bag, so I supposed that this made sense. She was plenty frustrated. I knew she had been waiting for them to throw Kaiceph at us. They knew her history, they knew it’d throw her off her game. Except it didn’t, not really. We almost had the kill.

“Gemma, go back to the room. I need to be alone right now.” She said, tugging off her button-up again and tossing it into a corner. I paused at the door.

“Wrap your hands up first, and then I’ll go.” I told her, moving over towards the lockers at one end. The Ranger cadets all had a shared one, with small boxes stacked inside with whatever items we normally needed at the gym. Maya had a set of handwraps she normally used, but today she was distracted. I retrieved them for her and sat her down on a weightlifting bench.

“It’s not your fault.” She told me as she held out her hands for me to wrap. I smiled at her and secured one and moved to the other.

“I know. I heard it all in the Drift. They did this on purpose.” I replied, securing the other wrap. She flexed her fingers to test them and gave me a small smile in return.

“I know. And I’m plenty pissed off about that. Let me work it out, and we can discuss it more later tonight.” She threw her arm around me and squeezed briefly before moving back over to the punching bag.

“We have Drift sync testing again tonight.” I made my way back to the door.

“I know! It’s easier that way. Gets the conversation over quicker when you know what I’m trying to say.”She called to me and then there was the sounds of the bag moving as she started beating it. I left her to it, preferring to work out my frustration in my books and conversations with others.

Thankfully, Rin was around to chat with. She told me Ryoto was sleeping off a headache, but we settled down on the soft sofas and talked about the different jaegers and strategies we’d need for them. Everyone figured out early on that each jaeger handled differently. The heavier ones were harder to move but hit so much harder. The lighter ones were faster, but less armored so we had to be careful there.“So...can I ask you something?” Rin asked, looking around at the open doors, checking for someone. I raised an eyebrow at her, curious. Nobody was actually here but us and Ryoto, but he was asleep. Chell and Leon were at Drift Sync testing, and there was no telling where the Hansens were, but their door was wide open the the room was empty.

“Sure.”

“Do you have a thing for Chuck?” That wasn’t what I was expecting at all, but given the way we sort of danced around each other whenever we were in the room together was a clue. There weren’t any strict fraternization rules, but it was discouraged. Still, Maya had the tendency to push me at him whenever she could.

“Yeah, sure. He’s cute. If this was high school I’d totally be dropping hints for him to take me to prom.” I told her easily. It was close enough to the truth. Sure, Chuck had the habit of being verbally abrasive to people, but Maya and I figured out early that it was a defensive habit and not him genuinely being an asshole. If he was being an asshole, Maya reasoned, he wouldn’t be leaving me little treats and notes whenever I left the room. He was likely just putting on an act for his father, since he had been nicer when the older Hansen wasn’t around.

Of course, if he was being an asshole, Maya promised me she’d beat him with a chair. I felt like it was a little extreme, but apparently boys sometimes needed extreme lessons.

“Ryoto and I were talking about it. Couldn’t help but notice it, really. He looks at you all the time.” She said, and I had to admit, I never noticed him looking at me any more than anyone else would.

“We think he likes you and just doesn’t know  how to go about it. I’ve seen it plenty, drifting with Ryoto. It takes boys a lot of courage to go after a girl.” She continued and I was thankful that I was surrounded by older women who had experience with relationships. My first and only relationship so far was with Derek, and that hadn’t exactly ended well. And it’s not like I could go to my Dad for dating advice, now could I?

“If I can talk to him, I will. You know how he is.” I said and Rin nodded. Changing subjects, we talked about some of the clothes in the catalog Chell had brought with her. There was a very pretty sweater that RIn wanted, but I was convinced I could knit it for her myself.

Maya came in a while later, dripping with sweat. She didn’t say a word, instead crossing to the small fridge and getting a bottle of water and heading into our room, undoubtedly for a shower. I hoped she was feeling better now.

After dinner, Maya and I went to our Drift Sync test. Drifting was different outside of the Conn-Pod, somehow easier to relay our thoughts to one another. We were starting to have fewer incidents of RABIT chasing, which Dr. Lightcap told us was a very good sign. It meant our Drift was getting stronger.

_Sorry about earlier._

_You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just too focused on killing the goddamn thing I didn’t realize that he was getting through our armor._

_No, I know. I’m still sorry though._

_Never felt more useless. No, Gemma- stop!_

Maya’s memory pulled me in, stronger than I could have imagined. I’d seen this all before, but still, with it fresh in her mind, I couldn’t help but fall into it. I was dimly aware of Maya yelling, both verbally and with her thoughts, trying to pull me out of it.

_Lots of screaming. Mark is running, holding onto my hand. We lost Gabby-had to find her. Had to find the kids. It’s getting closer, we need to go. We ran- I stumbled. There’s a pain my wrist as I caught myself, but I can’t stop. We have to go. Gogogo, just keep running. More screaming. Glass breaking, the rumble of buildings collapsing, the sound of jets overhead. Helicopters evacuating us. Still no sign of the kids, not leaving without- wait. There over there, on the other helicopter. They’re safe. Mark, let’s go! Climb into the aircraft, turn and look behind us. The kaiju is out there, not impeded at all. It looks up, looks at us, like it’s staring right at us. And it roars._

“Gemma!” The Drift connection was severed and Maya appeared before me as I tumbled out of the chair onto the ground, my entire body trembling. I felt her arms wrap around me -they were trembling too. I felt terrible about it. Had I pulled her in too? I knew she had more than enough nightmares about the event.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean - “ I said and I felt her rocking slightly, her hands petting my hair. It was nice. Soothing. The calm that always radiated from Maya was there.

“It’s okay. Kaiju aren’t so scary anymore. Not now, not when we can fight them. And we’re gonna. Nobody else is gonna be like that.” Maya promised. I could hear the techs and Dr. Lightcap moving about in the room, but it didn’t matter. Maya was right. We can fight them now. And I had to pull myself together, to try harder, so I could fight them with her.

It was a strange nightmare that pulled me from my sleep that night. I didn’t quite remember it but I remember waking up feeling completely terrified, frozen underneath my blanket and completely unable to move. The room was dark and the only sound was Maya’s gentle breathing from below me. I was safe in the Shatterdome.

A sound in the kitchen, the sound of glass breaking, broke me from my paralysis. I’d heard that sound plenty during high school, before my parents divorced. Mom liked to throw things when she and Dad fought.

I slipped out of the top bunk as quietly as I could and crept to the door, feeling like a kid again. I pressed my ear to the door but I didn’t hear any shouting. I braced myself anyways, sometimes the shouting came back again. When it didn’t, I cracked the door open to see. Had to look, had to make sure everything was okay.

I saw Chuck sweeping up a broken coffee mug and felt pretty silly. Of course everything was fine. I slipped out of the door as quickly as possible so the light didn’t wake Maya and closed it behind me silently.

“If you use a wet paper towel it’ll pick up the really small bits the broom misses.” I said and he jumped, sending the broom clattering to the floor. I hurried over and picked it up for him with an apologetic face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”“No, it’s fine. I - Did I wake you up?” He said, gesturing to the mess on the floor. I shook my head and crossed to the sink carefully to moisten a paper towel to clean up behind him.

“I was already up. Had a rough drop today.” I explained, getting down on my knees to wipe at the floor when he crossed to the garbage can. I swiped at the general area where the mug fell, picking up a few of the sharp bits.

“I bet. Saw Maya in the gym beating the hell out of a punching bag.” Chuck replied, putting the broom and dustpan away. I stood up and threw the paper towel out, but was careful not to cross over the area in my bare feet.

“We lost, again. I’m starting to think that the drops are rigged.” I said and levered myself onto the counter. The floor was cold on my feet and I didn’t think walking over to the couches was right, especially if Chuck didn’t want to talk.

“Some of ‘em are. Only way they can keep Dad on his toes now. Still bagged my first kill this morning.” He grinned at me. I smiled back.

“Congrats. Which one was it?” I asked and he shrugged lazily and leaned back on the table.

“Hardship. We were in Cherno Alpha.” I scowled at him. Hardship kicked our asses two days ago when we were in Gipsy Danger.

“It’s smooth sailing from here on out. You’ll get yours soon enough.” Chuck continued and it was my turn to shrug at him.

“Almost had it today. Our next drop, I’m thinking.” I said, and it was probably true. We were getting closer. Our next few drops would see us winning. I looked down at the floor, trying to think about which kaiju they’d put us up against next. Yamarashi, maybe. We hadn’t taken that one yet. Or maybe Clawhook.

I looked back up and saw Chuck staring at me. I blinked at him a few times, confused. “What?”

“You do this thing, with your mouth, when you’re thinking. Kind of cute.” He said and I could feel my cheeks heat up.

“I’ve been told you’re watching me. Gonna make me all self conscious.” I replied and he frowned and stepped towards me, pushing himself off the small table. I tried to back up but the cabinets behind me wouldn’t let me move any farther.

“Shouldn’t be. But I’d think you’d be jealous someone’s watching me enough to know how often I look at you.” He said, inching closer. I wasn’t uncomfortable with how close he was getting, I just wasn’t sure what he was about to do. And where was Ranger Hansen? I wouldn’t want him to come in and see any of this. 

Not that it mattered. He’d see it next time he Drifted with his son anyways.

“I’m not exactly the jealous type. And somebody was bound to notice. I’m told you can’t keep your eyes off me.” I smirked at him and he stared back with a grin of his own.

“What else am I supposed to look at, hmm? Can’t blame a guy for looking at something pretty.” He returned and I laughed. Now he was just trying to flatter me.

“How about you come a little closer? I’ve been told it’s better up close.” I licked my lips and followed his eyes as they watched the movement. My heart fluttered a little bit. He clearly wanted to kiss me - why wasn’t he?

“It really is…” He mumbled, reaching out and putting a hand on my shoulder. He was standing between my thighs right now, filling me with a different kind of heat. It had been a while since anyone was that close. We were close enough I could feel his breath on my face and I knew he could feel mine coming in short bursts.

Unable to wait, I removed the inch between us and kissed him, lifting a hand to his cheek to hold him in place. He didn’t have an issue, moving his lips against mine. The hand on my shoulder tightened and I felt his other one land on my knee and start to travel up my leg towards my hip. I angled my head and opened my mouth slightly, sticking my tongue out a little to tease him. He got the hint quick and his joined mine.

It was probably a good thing I was sitting on this counter, my knees might have buckled underneath me. Derek hardly ever used his tongue for anything after we were dating for a while. It had been pretty disappointing.

Chuck’s hand found my hip and the hem of the t-shirt I was sleeping in, and I could feel his fingers toying with it. I took my free hand and placed it on top of his. He made to pull away, but I smiled a little bit and slid both our hands carefully inside the cloth. We both inhaled sharply when his fingers touched my side, his hand hot against my skin. He pulled away and I opened eyes I hadn’t realized I closed and we looked at each other for a moment. He inched his hand up slowly and leaned forward again -

Alarms startled both of us. He took two steps back, his hand coming out from underneath my shirt and he looked around. I froze, listening, before I realized they were coming from my bedroom. And….his?

“Is that….are they calling both our teams?” I asked. Chuck shook his head, clearly confused and moved towards his room. I could still feel where he had his hand on my torso but I dropped off the counter and moved towards mine.

Maya was already up, scrubbing sleep from her eyes when I opened the door. She gave me a look as I moved towards the closet for my clothing.

“Where have you been?” She asked blearily, following me to get her clothing. I just shook my head.

“You’ll see in a minute, won’t you?” I grinned at her and she sighed and reached for her pants.

Maya and I left our room and made our way down to the combat simulators. A two-team drop was a first for everyone, but it was obvious they wanted to see how well we worked together. It was pretty common for two jaegers to be deployed, especially now that the kaiju were getting bigger. We suited up and stepped into the Conn-Pod, let ourselves be secured in the harness.

Maya had mostly gotten over the motion sickness by now but there was still a small face of displeasure when the structure shuddered to simulate it securing to whatever jaeger we were in today.

“Ladies, welcome back to Horizon Brave. Prepare for neural handshake in fifteen seconds. Fourteen. Thirteen.” The countdown began, and I glanced over at Maya. She gave me a confident grin. We were close last time. We could get this one.

“Neural handshake initiated.”

Memories whipped by. Maya saw my nightmare, felt my anxiety as I went to the door to listen, felt Chuck’s hand slide up my shirt. I could feel her frustration from earlier, her determination and her hunger.

_What? I skipped dinner._

_I noticed. We’ll get you a snack after._

_And we’re gonna talk about boys putting their hands up your shirt._

_It was just one boy, and technically, I put it there._

_“Horizon Brave, your objective is to hold Sydney at all costs. You’ll be engaging with Lucky Seven. Do you copy?”_

_“Horizon Brave copies, LOCCENT.”_ Maya answered. She felt a little bit of irritation, not for us, but for Chuck and Ranger Hansen. It wasn’t nice of them to make them hold their hometown in a jaeger that had been destroyed under the elder Hansen’s control.

_We’re fighting a war, Maya. Not exactly time for nice._

_It’s still a dick move. I’ll eat my boot if they’ve picked another kaiju besides Scissure._

_Left or right boot?_

Horizon Brave was a little familiar. It was a hulk of a thing, but despite it’s weight we had an easier time piloting this one than some of the others we had piloted.  We moved the jaeger along the re-created coastline, watching as helicopters dropped Lucky Seven beside us.

_“Good Morning, Gentlemen. It’s a nice day for killing kaiju.”_ Maya said over the comms. We lifted our arm in salute and the returned it. Sensors started beeping, indicating the kaiju coming in range.

_“It certainly is, ladies. We’ll take point.”_ Ranger Hansen returned and the two of them moved ahead of us. We were both happy to let them go. This was their hometown.

_Oh, look. I’m right. It is Scissure. Jackasses._ Maya thought and I could feel her indignation for the Hansens.

_“LOCCENT, kaiju is in range. Moving to engage.”_

_“We’ve got your back, Lucky. Let’s kick some ass.”_

Charging forward, the kaiju leaped from the water and lunged at Lucky. They stepped aside easily, reaching out as the monster passed and grabbing it with both of the mech’s large hands. The kaiju thrashed around but they held it firm, and Horizon Brave moved forward with cryo cannons charging. In the meantime, Maya and I threw a devastating punch, one strong enough to actually knock it out of Lucky’s grip. It rolled away, washing both jaegers with water and scrambled back to its feet.

Scissure was faster than I remembered and he was on us again, dragging claws down our jaeger. The metal protested and I felt mild shocks from the circuitry suit, prompting us to step backwards. There was shouting on the comms from Lucky Seven.

_“Horizon, stay out of reach, it’s got a hell of a swing. It’ll breach your reactor before you realize.”_

_Cryo-cannons at 100 percent. Fire them up and lets flash-freeze this bastard!_

_“Stay clear, Lucky, we’re about to chill his ass out!”_ Maya called and lifted her hand to her chest and then flung it out. The Conn-Pod shuddered slightly as the cannons fired, spraying freezing cold chemicals all over the kaiju. The water underneath the beast froze several feet thick and the beast shook its head trying to fight the cold. When the cannons finished, Lucky Seven moved in.

Maya and I watched through our jaeger’s eyes as Lucky Seven pummeled the thing until the head was mostly blue goo.

_At least they got theirs. Wonder if they’ll stick us up against Kaiceph again?_

_We’ll see, won’t we? Wait. Wait wait wait. This counts as a kill. We won our drop._

_Oh. OH! Yeah!_

_“Lucky Seven, Horizon Brave, mission accomplished. Lucky, it’s quite dead. You can stop now. Ranger Hansen? Chuck? Can you guys hear me?”_

_“Is there a problem, LOCCENT?”_ Maya asked. Our heads-up displays faded, and the lights came back on in the Conn-Pod. The exercise was over, apparently. Our neural handshake was severed and I shook my head. The hardest part of coming out of the Drift was getting used to the silence in your own head again.

“No problem, ladies. Congratulations on your first kill. Once you’ve been removed from the drivesuits, you’re free to return to bed. “ The mission controller said, and the techs came in to free us from the harnesses.

Maya hurried me from the drivesuit room and out into the hallway. There was a slight sense of worry and it took me a minute to realize it wasn’t coming from me, it was coming from Maya. We were ghosting just a little bit. I was picking up her mood, thinking it was my own.

“What’s up, Maya?”

“You saw how Kaiceph fucked me up. Scissure is the reason why Chuck lost his mother. I didn’t lose anyone, but I can imagine how it might feel. I’m worried there might be a problem between the two of them.” Maya pulled me along the hallway towards the second simulator room.

“Is this really something we need to get involved in? Let them work it out on their own, Maya, c’mon. I’m actually really tired.” I said and she stopped and turned to look at me.

“Of course it is. Think of all the shit they just threw at Herc. Stuck him in his old jaeger, the one he piloted with his brother, that was let go from the Jaeger Program for some unknown reason, but it had to have been something pretty terrible. Then, they put us in the Jaeger they nearly got to see destroyed because of Scott Hansen. And then, on top of all that, they put us in a recreation of Sydney and face us off against the kaiju that was responsible for Mrs. Hansen’s death.” Maya argued. While they were all valid points, I still wasn’t sure what this had to do with us. Couldn’t it wait til morning, when we all talked about things over breakfast? Well, most of us, the Hansens were usually tightlipped when it came to anything about feelings. At least in company.

“I’d be feeling pretty shitty right now. And since Chuck has the emotional maturity of a goldfish, I’d imagine things are going to be pretty hot. I’m counting on the fact that he seems to really like you to keep him off Herc’s case for a little while. He can’t be feeling all that great about this right now either.” Maya continued and turned around to continue towards the other simulator room again. She had made her point and I agreed with it. Except there was one thing not quite right.

“When did he become ‘Herc’?” I demanded. I didn’t remember seeing anything more than talking in Maya’s head when we Drifted. Hell, she didn’t think too much about the man, from what I could tell.

“Gemma, your thoughts about Chuck tend to drown any of mine out. You hadn’t noticed. Hercules and I talk quite a bit, we’re very friendly now.” Maya said mildly and I stopped again, trying to think about it. Sure, I hadn’t been really looking for it, mostly just concentrating on letting memories pass by. That was the idea when we Drifted. Chasing RABITs was a bad idea in the Conn-Pod, although we’ve both done it once or twice.

“Gemma! Good, I was hoping you were still around.” I turned around and found Lieutenant Meyers hurrying up the hall. It had been a while since I had seen her or Lieutenant Moreau, since they weren’t involved in our training any longer. We still saw them in the mess hall and talked with them occasionally about how the jaeger simulations were going.

“Lieutenant Meyers.” I greeted. Maya stopped behind me to see what I was needed for.

Something about Meyers’ face set me on edge. Her expression had me worried. Had I done something wrong?

“Listen, I hate to have to tell you this, here of all places. But I’ve got some bad news.” Meyers was passing her hat back and forth between her hands, staring at it as she spoke. Maya moved closer behind me. I couldn’t imagine what kind of bad news she’d have. My only fear was of them telling me I had to leave the program for some reason.

“Your father called us while you were in the simulator. Your brother was...in a very bad car accident earlier tonight. He didn’t make it. I’m sorry.” The woman said, looking up at me.

Everything was cold all of a sudden. My chest felt tight. Simon. He couldn’t...be gone.

“Oh, no. No. Gemma, love, I’m so sorry.” Maya said from behind me, and I was vaguely aware of her hand on my shoulder. _Sympathy. Concern. Simon was a nice boy._

 Was. He _was_ a nice boy. Not any more.

“I’ve left my office open should you like to call home, when you’re ready. I’m truly sorry I had to tell you this, Gemma.” Meyers murmured and turned away, leaving me alone in the hallway.

_Not alone. Never alone, Gemma. You don’t have to do this alone._

There was a loud sound from up the hall and the second simulator room door had flown open, Chuck Hansen storming out. I flinched and fell back against the wall and he froze, his eyes dancing back and forth between Maya and I. I felt like I needed to say something to him, but I couldn’t make my mouth work.

“Gemma? What’s wrong?” Chuck’s furious expression faded into something else, something full of concern. Ranger Hansen came out of the simulator room too, mimicking his son almost exactly. I couldn’t….I just couldn’t do anything. My head, my body didn’t want to work. All I could feel was my heart. And it hurt. So much.

“Come on, Gem. Let’s go call your father. I’m sure he would like to hear from you right now.”

“What happened?” Chuck demanded. Maya waved him away and I could feel her irritation. Her arm wrapped around my waist and her other hand reached out and grabbed one of mine. She pulled me down the hall, murmuring comforting things in my ear.

I didn’t want to believe Simon was gone. He was a great driver. A car accident? Not possible. And he was about to be a father! He couldn’t leave Lydia alone like that. Or his baby. But why else would they tell me this? Was it a test, to see if I could pilot a jaeger while emotionally compromised? Would they be that cruel? I didn’t think so.

I sat down at Meyer’s desk, Maya moving around it to pick up the phone. She dialed the number for me, not even asking what it was. She knew. She’d been in my head, knew everything. She handed me the receiver.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me, Gemma.” She said as I pressed the device to my ear.

“Hello?” My father’s voice said, thick and rough with sadness. I heard this once before and I felt wetness on my cheeks.

“Daddy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we'll be seeing the aftermath of this from another point of view. Losing a sibling isn't easy, but Gemma has the support of her friends to pull through and see her through the rest of the trimester. Or at least until another terrible event shakes them all.


	6. Anchorage, Alaska February 1st, 2020 - February 29th, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is a month of ups and downs for Gemma Watts, as observed by her friend and copilot Maya Cadle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so maybe I lied a little bit. There's some angst. Some making out like horny teenagers. Some jaeger combat. And some dialogue stolen from the movie, since we're at that point now.

“Daddy?”

“Oh, Gemma. Did they….did they tell you?”

“Yeah. Lieutenant Meyers found me after my drop.”

“Gemma...I don’t know what to do. Lydia is in Simon’s room, and I…”

“I should come home. I need to be there.”

“Gem, no. You’re where you’re supposed to be. Simon wouldn’t want you to come home for him, you know that.”

“I want to say goodbye.”

“It’s….its best if you stay there. Simon...it’s bad, Gem.”

“How bad?”

“It’s really better if you don’t know. No, don’t interrupt. I’m not going to tell you. Not until I know more, anyways.”

“What happened?”

“There was a deer. He hit it, lost control, slammed into a tree.”

“Oh. How long was he-”

“I don’t know. I don’t know, honey. How about you go to bed, call me if you can tomorrow. I know it’s very late there.”

* * *

 Maya paced outside the office, waiting for Gemma. She could feel everything. The young girl’s pain, her confusion, her disbelief. Maya wished she could close off her end of it but she knew that Gemma was drawing on Maya’s feelings to keep from going completely mental.

“Hey! What the hell? Is she alright?” Chuck came down the hallway and Maya stopped and stared at the boy. He was just concerned, Maya had to tell herself.

Maya pulled him away from the door, trying her best to keep her face smooth. It wasn’t working.

“Meyers found us after the drop. Gemma’s brother died earlier tonight.” She told Chuck, who stopped walking suddenly.

“Oh. Christ. Is she-” Chuck didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t okay, he knew that much.

“She’s in the office on the phone with her father right now. She’s….God why did we have to ghost tonight? I can feel it all.” Maya sighed and scrubbed at her face with her hands. She felt terrible for feeling hungry. She felt terrible because Simon was such a nice kid and he had a child so close to being born, a child he’d never see.

“What do we do?” Chuck asked and Maya shrugged.

“Whatever she needs. If she wants to go home, I’ll go with her.” Maya decided. Sure, it would mean they were out of the program, that they wouldn’t be pilots, but Gemma was her concern. The girl was so young…“You can’t let her leave. We need all the jaeger pilots we can get our hands on. She’s a good pilot.” Chuck insisted. Maya sighed again and shook her head.

“I don’t want her to go, but if she decides that’s what she wants, then I go too. It’s not like I can keep on at this point without a co-pilot.” Maya replied and Chuck scowled.

“It’d be a waste of good talent.” He said, turning around and storming off. Maya groaned and leaned against the wall, sliding down until she was sitting on the floor. She put her arms on her knees and rested her head against them.

What a mess.

Maya sat outside the office for a while. Around her, the Shatterdome began to wake up and a few people started to appear in the hallway. Maya didn’t care. No one questioned her. Eventually, she heard someone drop down beside her and lifted her head to see Herc, two cups of coffee and a protein bar in hand. He wordlessly passed over a coffee and a protein bar and Maya accepted them gratefully.

If anyone thought it was odd that a respected Ranger and a cadet were sitting on the floor in the hallway, no one said anything.

The ghost drift faded as time wore on, and Maya became aware that it was her own heart that ached, not just Gemma’s. It clenched tightly in her chest when the door to the office opened and the girl shuffled out, her head down. Maya scrambled to her feet and waited for Gemma to say anything. Maya had to fight her own tears back when the girl lifted her head and her eyes were red and puffy.

“Can...can I go lie down for a while?” She asked in a small voice. Maya nodded, throwing a glance over at Herc as Maya wrapped her arms around the younger girl. The two of them escorted her from the offices and up to their dorm.

In the common area, Chell and Leon were already up, sharing coffee between themselves. Both hurried to their feet as the three of them shuffled in, watching silently as Maya led Gemma to their room. The door closed behind them and the Blanchetts turned to Herc for answers.

“She lost her brother last night.” It waas all he could say. He didn’t know any of the circumstances. He just knew that a perfectly nice girl was mourning the loss of a family member. He knew a little about that.

Chell made a sound of distress and Leon pulled his wife close. Herc turned away, moving over towards his room. He didn’t know where his son was, but he could guess.

Maya tucked Gemma into bed, letting the girl curl up on Maya’s bunk instead of climbing up to the top. Gemma was silent the whole time, and Maya brushed some hair from Gemma’s face after she pulled the blanket up around her.

“Get some rest, love. We can talk later.” Maya assured her and silently prayed that those in charge knew about the circumstances and didn’t call her for a simulation. They had two yesterday, adding up to five this week. If they were lucky, they wouldn’t have anything else to do until Monday.

That is, if Gemma decided to stay.

Exhausted by crying, Gemma fell asleep quickly and Maya slipped out of the bedroom. She was just as tired but planned on napping on one of the sofas, since if she tried to climb up into Gemma’s bed, she’d just roll out of it.

“How is she taking it?” Chell asked. Maya didn’t even bother to wonder how they knew. She just dropped onto the sofa with a weary sigh.

“About as well to be expected. She and her brother weren’t terribly close, but they were still siblings. He was a nice kid. Had a baby on the way.” Maya told them and watched the couple sit down on another sofa.

“That’s terrible! God be with them.” Leon said. Maya leaned back and closed her eyes. She hoped that He was.

“How are you holding up?” Chell prompted. Maya shrugged. She couldn’t say. She’d be strong because she had to, but it didn’t mean she didn’t feel the pain, the loss.

“We’ll see. Right now, I’m tired. Gemma’s asleep, I might try and do the same. I hope they don’t call for us again.” Maya shifted on the sofa, her head resting on the arm, curling up with her knees to her chest.

Thankfully, Maya was able to get a few hours in before her mind woke her up, demanding that she check on Gemma. Climbing off the sofa, she made her way to the room and cracked the door open. Gemma was still asleep but it looked like she was restless. The pillow was on the floor and the blankets were twisted around.

Maya decided that bringing her some lunch would be a good thing and left the room again. This wouldn’t be easy, but Gemma did need to eat. After two drops yesterday and the stress of losing her brother, she needed something to keep her going.

After a trip to the mess hall for whatever they were serving for lunch, Maya made her way back to the room holding two trays. Maya would eat with her. It only seemed right, since having someone watch you eat was uncomfortable.

Gemma was sitting up when she got back, staring at the floor absently. The girl looked exhausted still gave Maya a small smile when she entered the room.

“I brought you some lunch. It’s chicken casserole, which is halfway decent.” Maya said, handing over a tray. Gemma took it and stared at it before lifting the fork and poking at the food on the tray.

“At least it’s not their spaghetti. How you screw that up, I can’t imagine.” Gemma said, lifting a bite to her mouth. Maya was pleased that she was making an attempt to eat. They ate in silence for a few minutes and Gemma managed to eat at least half of it before setting it aside.

“I...I want to go home.” Gemma said, sighing. Her hands twisted in her lap. Maya frowned, not liking that she felt disappointed. Of course she would, it was only natural, but she pushed it aside.

“I’ll go with you.” Maya told her, setting her own food aside and placing an arm around the younger girl. Gemma looked over at Maya, confused.

“I didn’t say I was going. I just said I wanted to. Dad…He said that Simon would have wanted me to stay.” Gemma took a breath, inhaling through her nose. She appeared to be fighting tears.

“And he’s right. I need to stay, to finish this. It’ll be hard but….well, it’s not like I can’t go back and find him in the same place anymore.” Gemma said, her last words ending on a sob. Maya pulled the girl into her arms and let her cry into her shirt.

“I know it’s hard, Gemma. But you’re strong. Do it for him. For your niece, who deserves a safer world to live in.” Maya murmured, rubbing the girl’s back soothingly. For a long while, Gemma cried and Maya rubbed her back and rocked the girl back and forth, until Gemma cried herself out.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Gemma said, her voice hoarse. Maya pulled Gemma to her feet, guiding her towards the bathroom.

“You’d be helplessly lost in all things. C’mon, let’s get you into the shower. It’ll help, and then you should rest more. We have to go to the Drift labs tonight, but I’ll talk to Dr. Lightcap, and see if she can postpone it a night.” Maya ushered her into the small room, pulling a towel from the shelf and setting it on the back of the toilet.

“No, don’t. We’ll keep on like we have. We’re almost done, I don’t want to screw it up now.” Gemma replied, reaching in to start the water.

“Bravest girl I’ve ever met, did I ever tell you that?” Maya said, leaving the bathroom to give her privacy. She set out some clean clothing for Gemma and then changed her own damp shirt. She’d shower later. Right now, she went to take their dirty dishes back to the mess hall.

And keep on they did. At Drift testing later that night, Maya got a full load of emotions from Gemma, and they both ended up chasing rabbits. Dr. Lightcap didn’t seem pleased, but after Maya told her the circumstances, the scientist seemed to understand it better. Gemma wasn’t pleased either.

“You’ll do fine when we do our next sim. Just focus on the mission.” Maya assured Gemma when they made it back to their room. Chuck was in the sitting room when they arrived, but he took one glance at Gemma and disappeared into his own bedroom. Maya frowned at him as he retreated.

“Wonder what that was for.” Gemma said. Maya shrugged, just as curious.

Their next combat drop came Sunday afternoon, just as the two of them were on their way to dinner. Maya’s stomach growled unhappily as they were sealed into their drivesuits. Gemma looked miles away, and it made Maya nervous.

“You with me, kid?” Maya asked as they stepped into the Conn-Pod. Gemma started and looked over at Maya and gave her a smile and a thumbs up. One of the techs huffed irritably and snagged Gemma’s arm again to lock it into the harness.

“I’m here. Let’s kick some ass.” Gemma said, rolling her shoulders. Maya turned away and focused on quieting her mind for the Drift.

Maya found Gemma surprisingly focused when the initial rush of memories faded and they melded with the jaeger. Diablo Intercept welcomed them with its comforting weight and Gemma went after the kaiju with a determination that shocked Maya. Things were going great, up until the kaiju slammed into them and they went down like a ton of bricks. Maya felt pain in her left shoulder, pain that wasn’t hers, and all of a sudden, Gemma was gone, chasing after a RABIT while the virtual kaiju tore through their armor.

_“Gemma! Are you okay?” Simon ran forward and Gemma wanted to answer him, she really did, but her shoulder hurt so bad. Her fingers had slipped and she fell backwards off the swing and landed on the ground hard._

_“I’m gonna get Mom! Stay right here!” Simon said, hovering over his sister for a moment before he bolted into the house._

_Simon, don’t go! It hurts please don’t leave!_

_Gemma! C’mon, kid, snap out of it, we’re gonna fail-_

“Simulation terminated.” Maya looked up at the display and found that the kaiju they were facing off against had torn through their Conn-Pod and killed the both of them.

_Sorrysorrysorry my fault I just-_

_Stop. I’m not angry. I expected it to happen. Pain is a powerful trigger._

_It won’t happen again. Sorry, so sorry. We should have won-_

_Gemma, seriously. Stop. It’s fine. It happens._

They were pulled out of the Drift and the Conn-Pod righted itself so the techs could come in and release them. Maya looked over at Gemma, who seemed to be about to cry. She managed to hold it together while they were stripped out of the drivesuits, but once they were in the hallway, Gemma had tears streaking down her face.

“I know it’s hard not to think of him. I’ll never be mad if you do, I want you to know that. “ Maya slung her arm over the girl’s shoulders and pulled her close as they walked.

“How am I supposed to do this?” Gemma asked and Maya squeezed her comfortingly.

“Just like the rest of us. One day at a time. Let’s go get dinner.”

After dinner, Maya and Gemma sat in the common area with the others. It was good that Gemma was talking and not holed up in the room. Crying was healthy, as was desiring alone time to mourn, but being out here would help too. Chell and Leon were very sympathetic, and Rin could empathize, having lost her own brother a few years back. Leon made tea for everyone, a very soothing herbal blend and Maya enjoyed it although it wasn’t like the tea she was used to and was pleased to see Gemma enjoying it although it wasn’t the tea the girl was used to either.

“Tea isn’t supposed to be hot, although this is pretty good.” Gemma mentioned, prompting everyone to ask her about what tea was supposed to be like. “Ice cold and sweet, with a lemon slice for garnish. Sometimes I put a little lemon juice in it to add flavor.”

“That sounds horrible.” Maya said, appalled. Cold tea? No thank you.

“It’s the way tea is done in the South.” Gemma shrugged her shoulders and sipped on her herbal tea a little more.

“My maman, when we were sick, would serve us hot tea with honey and lemon. Occasionally a splash of whiskey.” Chell said, passing her mug over to Leon, who returned to the tiny stove to make her another cup.

Maya let herself frown in distaste. Not a one of these people knew how to make a proper cup of tea.

“The proper way to have tea is boiling hot, with a spoon of sugar and a splash of milk. Heathens.” Maya sniffed and sipped a little more of her tea.

“Bah. You English have no taste.” Leon waved his hand dismissively, but he was grinning. This was something they’d done many times before.

“I’m going to have to side with the lady on this one, Blanchett. She knows her tea.” Herc came into the room and settled into a recliner. Maya laughed.

“At least you Australians know that much. The rest of your diet I’m not so sure about.” Maya ribbed. Herc rolled his eyes at Maya but gave her a good natured grin in return.

“It puts hair on your chest.” Chuck stalked from their bedroom towards the mini fridge. Maya had noticed the kid with snacks almost constantly and envied the metabolism of teenagers for a moment. She could pass on the hormones though.

“I’ll keep my chest hairless, thank you.” Chell said. There were laughs all around, except from Gemma, who was still silent. Maya watched her as the girl kept her eyes on Chuck as he dug around their small kitchenette for a snack.

“I’m sure your husband thanks you.” Chuck found a box of cheese crackers in one of the cabinets and made his way to the circle of sofas and chairs and dropped into an unoccupied one to tear into his snack.

“She would be beautiful regardless.” Leon replied. Chuck rolled his eyes with a mouthful of crackers and Maya threw Herc a look. He was shaking his head slightly, eyes filled with exasperation.

“I’m going to go brush my teeth. Can’t handle that much sweet.” Ryoto said, pushing himself up from the sofa he and Rin shared. There was more laughing as Ryoto disappeared into the bedroom. Rin shook her head.

“It seems most men don’t understand romance.” Rin said, setting her empty mug aside. Maya looked at hers, almost empty, and wondered if she wanted to take the ribbing if she made another cup. Leon’s tea was actually pretty good. At least it was hot.

“The younger ones don’t. Give it a few years. He’ll find someone he’s interested in and all of a sudden, there will be chocolates and flowers and badly written love letters. It’s almost painful to watch.” Maya said, deciding that she didn’t mind if anyone gave her shit over the tea, she wanted more.

Gemma stood up suddenly and everyone turned to look at her. Did someone say something wrong? She looked around at everyone staring at her, startled.

“Just….going to the bathroom. Jeez.” She said, leaving the room. Maya sighed and stood too, crossing to the kettle on the stove. It had only been a day, they were allowed to still be concerned.

“She is very strong, to be handling this as well as she is.” Rin said quietly. Maya wanted to agree with her, but nobody knew about the failed drop. Hopefully it would be the last one. They would have won that encounter in any other circumstance.

“Probably picking up a bit of that British stiff upper lip you lot are so famous for.” Chuck said around another mouthful of crackers. Maya frowned at him.

“Or maybe she realizes that her brother loved her and would want her to be here, continuing her life and her dream instead of at home sobbing into her pillows as everyone seems to expect her to be doing.” Maya retorted and it was Chuck’s turn to frown. Sure, it was a very defensive thing to say, but she couldn’t help it. Gemma was her copilot, her friend, her sister in arms. She’d defend her if she felt it was necessary.

“Nobody expects that. We’re just...worried. About the both of you. Your ability to continue, to graduate, rests on her being able to finish this. We just want to help however we can. I heard about your drop. The techs were talking in the mess hall after the two of you left.” Chell said soothingly. Maya sighed. Apparently someone did know about the failed drop.

“There shouldn’t be any other issues in the Conn-Pod. We’ll be fine.” Maya said, filling her cup with steaming water and dropping the little metal ball that held the loose tea into it to steep.

“What? You failed your drop? What the hell happened?” Chuck demanded, tossing aside the box of crackers and pushing himself to his feet. Maya glared at him. It was none of his damn business, and she told him as much.

“It is my damn business. If she’s gonna go chasing rabbits while in actual combat she doesn’t need to be in a jaeger in the first place. People die all the time, she needs to get over it.” Chuck replied hotly. Maya opened her mouth for a scathing remark of her own, but Herc beat her to it.

“You want to have a little sympathy? It was her brother. Her twin. Came into the world together. It’s a bond not easily broken.” Herc stood now too. Maya huffed in irritation. They had been having a decent time.

“So? They can’t have been that close if he wasn’t here with her. “ Chuck said loudly.

“He was having a baby, I’d say that’s a pretty damn good reason not to be here.” Herc replied, just as loudly and Maya had to put her foot down now. The shouting wasn't helping anything.

“If the two of you want to shout at each other, go do it in your room. Any time she has to listen to the two of you argue, she gets nightmares.” Maya said having experienced several of those nightmares herself. Both men snapped their mouths shut.

“Why would she get nightmares from us yelling at each other?” Chuck asked, quieter now. Maya was surprised. Usually, when the kid’s temper was up, every word that came out of his mouth was shouted until he calmed down.

“It’s not my place to say. It is my place to tell you to take it elsewhere. Nobody wants to hear it anyways.” Maya told them and while Chuck looked skeptical, Herc did look properly chastened.

“Perhaps it is time for bed.” Leon said in the resulting silence. Maya agreed with him. Gemma could use more rest as well. Maya took up her mug of tea and made her way into the bedroom.

Gemma was laying in her bunk but Maya could see that she wasn’t asleep yet. With the door closed, Gemma wouldn’t have heard what the Hansens were shouting, but she still would have heard the noise. Maya put her mug down on the bedside table and walked over to the closet.

“What were they yelling about?” Gemma asked as Maya stripped down and put on her sweats to sleep in.

“Don’t worry about it. I told them to knock it off.” Maya replied, moving back over to her bed and turning the blankets down so she could climb in.

“I really thought the Drift would help them fix their issues.” Gemma said.

“I think it might have made it worse. Mix the hormones of a 16 year old boy and the feelings of a man who is still mourning his wife and it’s a recipe for disaster. I’m surprised they’re compatible at all.” Maya said, settling in and scooping up her tea. She’d wake up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, but it was worth it.

“It’s just another version of fighting. One they’re very good at.” Gemma sighed and Maya heard her moving above. There would be nightmares tonight, Maya knew, and felt bad that she was thankful they weren't ghost drifting today.

“Get some rest, Gemma.” Maya said, reaching over to set her mug down and turn off the lamp. The room was plunged into darkness and Maya turned onto her side and tucked her arm under her pillow to sleep.

* * *

 “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

“They all are.”

“Yeah, I guess they are. Aren’t you one of the cadets?”

“Mhmm. Gemma Watts. I know I’m not supposed to be in here. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Yancy Becket. And I won’t tell if you don’t.”

“I didn’t plan on telling anyone.”

“Your co-pilot will know, next time you Drift.”

“She won’t mind.”

“Yeah, most co-pilots don’t go around throwing each other under the bus, unless it’s necessary.”

“I can’t imagine anything she’d do that would make me report her.”

“Yeah, well, sometimes you think you know a person, and then you see something in their head…”

“Happen to you before?”

“What? Nah. Raleigh is a good kid. You know, you probably should head back. You won’t hear it if they call you for a sim in here.”

“You’re right. Thanks for letting me sit here awhile.”

“No problem, kid. Feel free to come talk to me if you need to.”

“What makes you think I need to?”

“I’ve got a little sister. I know that look.”

* * *

 Maya stepped into the Conn-Pod Tuesday morning, Gemma right behind her. Gemma seemed more confident, although the dark circles underneath her eyes told Maya the girl wasn’t getting much sleep. Depending on how things went today, Maya would consider talking to one of the psychoanalysts about it.

In the Drift, Maya saw why the girl hadn’t been getting much sleep. She was getting out of bed after Maya started snoring and going into the jaeger bay to look at the jaegers. It wasn’t allowed, not really, but she was in there talking with one of the Rangers, so no one really stopped her.

_You can talk to me, you know that, right?_

_I know. It’s just...I don’t know. Easier, to talk to him. He’s nice._

_Try and keep it during daylight hours, okay? You need rest._

Inside Eden Assassin, Maya and Gemma scored their second kaiju kill against Trespasser. Maya felt Gemma’s self-confidence skyrocket, and her own echoed it. The girl had a broad smile as the techs stripped them from their suits and practically danced back into their common room. Chuck was in there, eating again, but he seemed pleased that Gemma was apparently happier.

“I’m gonna go change and then go find Yancy. I’ll see you for Drift tonight.” Gemma announced, taking off into their bedroom. She came out a few minutes later in a clean uniform and a dark blue sweater in hand. Maya waved as the girl left, heading to their small fridge to get a bottle of water.

“Who the hell is Yancy?” Chuck demanded. Maya sighed and turned around to face the kid.

“Yancy Becket? Gipsy Danger? Gemma has been talking to him over the past couple of days. Seems to be helping.” Maya told him and then disappeared into her bedroom before the kid irritated her too much. She had a book to finish and then a trip to the gym before she met up with Gemma for their Drift lab tonight.

Another week went by, with more wins for Maya and Gemma. Valentine’s Day was that Friday and Gemma was busy putting together cards for everyone, cutting out little red and white hearts by hand. She had wanted to decorate their common room, but the men vetoed the idea, not liking the idea of banners with pink hearts being strung everywhere. So Gemma kept her decorations confined to their bedroom, taping some hearts to the outside of their door.

Maya watched as Gemma put together Chuck’s card, noticing that she was using a little more care than she had with anyone else’s. It put a smile on her face. It was nice to have a crush, although Maya was getting a little wary when it came to the young Australian. He was being even more rude as of late, even to Gemma. Maya wanted to say that the boy was jealous of all the time the girl was spending with the older Becket.

That would be trouble she needed to stop before it happened.

“Were you planning on doing anything tonight? Chuck has been looking a little lonely this week, maybe you two should go spend some time in the gym together.” Maya suggested, watching as Gemma set the card aside and began working on the next one.

“I was going to read, but sure, I can go do that instead. I haven’t been around all that much, I know.” Gemma said absently, picking up her scissors and cutting out more decorations. The girl loved her crafts, that much was obvious.

Hopefully that would fix things. Maya went to her bunk and settled down on it and began reading her own book.

It did fix things, for approximately five days. Maya had gone to the kwoon with Chell, Leon and Herc for some sparring and came back to find Gemma and Chuck shouting at each other.

“You’re an idiot, Chuck. He’s my friend!”

“Oh, is that all? Or maybe he’s your new brother. Looking for a new one already?”

All the color drained from Gemma’s face. Rage exploded in Maya’s chest, and she desperately wanted to ignore the fact that Chuck immediately looked like he regretted ever saying that. Gemma whirled around and bolted into the bedroom, the door slamming shut behind her. Chuck took two steps to follow and then noticed the audience.

“Oh, fuck me.” He said and disappeared into his room as well. Maya exchanged looks with Herc, who looked absolutely furious. No doubt there’d be shouting coming from their rooms. Thankfully, Chell and Leon’s room separated them. It’d be mostly silent in their room.

“Merde, what do you think that was about?” Leon cursed, something you didn’t hear from the French man very often.

“The little shit is jealous. I’ll go talk to him.” Herc growled, stalking towards their room. Maya moved towards theirs.

“Of Becket? He’s handsome, yes, but Gemma has had eyes for Chuck since they both got here.” Chell sighed. Maya shook her head and pushed open the door, anticipating the sounds of Gemma crying. She was right, but it was still painful to hear.

Gemma was curled up in the corner of the bathroom, knees tucked to her chest and her head on them. Maya knelt down beside the girl and stroked her hair.

“I know, love. It wasn’t right of him to say that. He doesn’t know.” Maya soothed, waiting for her to quiet down. Gemma hadn’t cried in a few days, it was probably time for her to let it all out again.

“I hate boys.” Gemma said and Maya had to laugh.

“So do I. Men aren’t much better.” Maya sat down to give her aching knees a break. She was getting too old for this.

“There’s gotta be some redeeming factor to them.” Gemma sniffled, lifting her head.

“Some of them aren’t complete jerks. If you happen to find one of those who’s also good in bed, well, you probably want to marry that guy.” Maya said lightly, brushing some hair out of Gemma’s face.

“I don’t think my Dad was ever a jerk.”

“Oh, trust me, he was. Maybe not on purpose, your Dad is a sweetheart, but at some point, he said something he didn’t mean and hurt someone. We all do it.” Maya told her, and reached up to the sink to turn the tap on. Gemma’s eyes were red and Maya would have the girl lay down with a cool cloth over them for a while.

“I hate it when you’re right.” Gemma said and Maya smiled.

“How about we give boys a rest for a while, hmm? We’re almost done here, and then we’ll get our Shatterdome assignment and they’ll be coming at you in droves.” Maya stood and pulled a washcloth from the shelf and ran it underneath the cold water.

“I know you like Chuck, but he’s only 16. Still has lots of growing up to do. It’d do you both a world of good, I think.” Maya said, wringing out the cloth and turning off the tap. She pulled Gemma to her feet and ushered her out of the bathroom.

“You were the one who told me to give it a try in the first place.” Gemma replied, climbing up to her bed. Maya passed the washcloth up and Gemma placed it over her eyes while Maya pulled the blankets over her.

“I did. And you can keep trying if you’d like, I’m not going to stop you. I just realize I vastly overestimated Chuck’s emotional maturity.” Maya patted Gemma’s stomach. She was sweaty from sparring so she wanted to shower before she went to sleep. Once Gemma was quiet, Maya slipped into the bathroom to clean up.

She felt bad for encouraging Gemma to begin with. Chuck hadn’t been a bad kid, before Ranger Hansen had shown up. Chuck had gotten more argumentative and belligerent with just about everyone. Herc had explained that they had argued like this since he became a teenager. Maya figured it had something to do with hormones and the resentment most teenagers have towards their parents.

Whatever it was, all Maya knew was that if the kid said anything like that to Gemma again, she’d be putting him through a wall. It was completely uncalled for.

Over the next week, Gemma and Chuck made sure to never be around each other if they didn’t have to be. They had another dual drop with the Hansens on Thursday, but it wasn’t terrible, and they won that with flying colors. Maya could feel Gemma’s excitement. The term was coming to a close. Just one more week left, and they’d graduate. It was constantly on their minds.

Chuck and Herc had already been assigned to the Mark 5 jaeger, but they other three pairs had high hopes they’d get the three Mark 4s that had been set aside. Maya knew Gemma didn’t care what generation jaeger she got as long as she got in one. And ever since they had started winning their drops, Gemma had been steadily improving. There was no incidents after that first one, at least not in the sims. During their Drift labs, Gemma would occasionally chase a RABIT. Maya didn’t, not anymore, and it was probably had to do with Gemma’s age. Why they let kids come to the academy, Maya would never know.

Things were going well. There was less shouting, everyone was happy that it was almost over, that they were almost pilots. Just a few more days, and they would graduate and become Rangers.

“Five more days!” Gemma said happily from the bathroom as she brushed her teeth Friday night. It was late and Maya anticipated an early morning sim. They were pushing them hard these last few days, but it was to be expected and everyone was bearing it as best they could.

Maya had just fallen asleep when the alarms started going off. At first, she was smug, being able to predict the drops at this point, when she noticed that they weren’t calling them to a simulation room.

Gemma jumped out of bed and turned to look at Maya, confused. She was wondering the same thing, and then it hit Maya. It was a kaiju alarm.

“C’mon ladies, time to move!” There was a hammering on their door and Herc’s voice filtered through. Gemma stumbled over to their closet and reached for her clothing.

“On our way!” Maya shouted back, following Gemma. They dressed quickly, Gemma combing out her short hair quickly before tugging on her boots and dropping onto the mattress to lace them up. Maya sat beside her and did the same, and they bolted from the room, running into Chell and Leon on their way out the door.

Procedure was still the same. Not yet Rangers, they went to a conference room where they’d monitor the activity of the kaiju. As before, Lieutenants Meyers and Moreau would be monitoring it with them, since none of them had actual clearance to listen in on the conversations. Well, none of them except Herc.

“What do we got?” The older Hansen asked the second he crossed the threshold, and both Lieutenants looked away from their monitors for a moment to answer him. Technically, he outranked the both of them.

“Category three. Codename Knifehead. They haven’t gotten a concrete landfall prediction yet, anywhere between here and Seattle is the best guess.” Meyers said, bringing up a map of the area. Maya took a seat, pulling Gemma down beside her. The girl was practically vibrating with anxiety and excitement.

“Who’s up for deployment?” Herc said, moving over to a computer terminal and bringing up more information. He probably wasn’t supposed to but after a minute, he brought up a live audio/video feed from inside LOCCENT.

“Looks like Romeo Blue, with Gipsy Danger and Wolverine Thunder if necessary. Best guess is Seattle but the Gages are ready to deploy anywhere when we get a more permanent heading.” Moreau said, fingers flying over a keyboard.

“It’s just a cat three. What do we need three jaegers for?” Chuck asked, leaning back in a chair and propping his feet up on the desk. Herc glared at him until he removed his feet.

“After Manila, we’re not taking chances anymore. This is the biggest category three on record.” Meyers replied. Maya watched data feeds, watched both the Los Angeles and Anchorage Shatterdomes wake up and ready jaegers. Kaiju had been known to change their mind. Maya wouldn’t be surprised if Vladivostok was on alert too.

“Best settle in, kiddies, we’ve got a while to wait until we know its destination.”Moreau said, tugging off his hat and dropping into a chair. Maya wished she brought her book.

“Man, why couldn’t the damn thing have waited a few weeks? We’d all have our jaegers and a crack at it.” Gemma sighed, tapping her fingers on the desk in front of her.

“You’ll get your chance, sooner than you’d like. We’re not any closer to figuring out how to close the Breach.” Herc replied and Gemma frowned. He was right, of course. These things would just keep coming.

An hour ticked by, and then two. There was a brief moment of panic when the kaiju signature dropped off the radar, only to reappear again a few miles away. Nobody knew how it was hiding its signature, but the techs in the Anchorage LOCCENT were scrambling to find out.

“It’s making a beeline for Anchorage. Has to be.” Chell said halfway into hour four, and they all leaned forward to look at the map a little closer. It was heading in a straight line towards Kodiak Island.

“You’re probably right. Still a little early to tell, but if Marshall Pentecost sees it-” Herc began, but audio from the LOCCENT feed cut him off.

_“Romeo Blue, you’re to deploy to the ten mile line outside Anchorage.”_

“ _Roger, LOCCENT. We’re moving in.”_ Romeo Blue radioed, and the group gathered to watch as Romeo Blue was lifted from the Shatterdome by a team of Jumphawks.

“Looks like they figured it out too. This shouldn’t last long. The Gages have been itching for a fight.” Moreau commented.

“Which one got dumped this time?” Herc asked and both Meyers and Moreau laughed.

“Apparently Trevin’s girl cheated on him with some tech. Wasn’t pretty. I think they were both confined to their room for a while while the tech was reassigned to Lima.” Moreau said and Maya rolled her eyes at the gossip.

_“Romeo Blue is at the ten mile line, awaiting further orders.”_

They didn’t have to wait long. Knifehead approached and Romeo Blue maneuvered into the kaiju’s path. Knifehead had other plans, apparently, and dove deeper into the water, disappearing from the sensors again. Panic filled Maya’s heart, and she knew the others felt it as well. She couldn’t imagine how the Gages felt.

_**"** **W** hat….where did the son of a bitch go?”_

_“Ah, hell. LOCCENT, I've lost him. Tell me you’ve got something.”_

_“It’s disappeared from sensors, Romeo Blue, be wary. He may still be in the area.”_

_“How the fuck did something that big disappear from sensors?”_

_“Focus. Switching to visual.”_

“How the hell did it do that?” Chell said loudly. Probably a little louder than necessary, but it was coming right for them.

“No idea. Son of a bitch, I wish I was out there.” Herc groaned and ran his hands over his head, watching.

The kaiju appeared again a short while later, closer to Anchorage. It had somehow completely evaded Romeo Blue. Kaiju had slipped past jaegers before, but that was just because a particular monster was faster than the jaeger hunting it. This was completely different and Maya was unsettled by it.

_“LOCCENT is deploying Gipsy Danger to hold the Miracle Mile.”_

Another video feed was brought up. Bay 6 was a hive of activity as the techs began prepping Gipsy Danger for launch.

_“Good morning, Becket boys.”_

_“Tendo, what’s happening, my man?”_

_“How’d that date with Alison go last night, Mister Choi?”_

_“Oh, she loved me. Her boyfriend not so much."_

_“You’re gonna get your ass kicked. “_

_“Haha. A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”_

Maya couldn’t help but grin at the banter and her smile grew wider as Marshal Pentecost approached, unknown to the LOCCENT officer.

_“Engage drop, Mr. Choi.”_

_“Engaging drop, sir.” Tendo straightened in his seat and there were a few snickers in the room._

_“Marshal Pentecost, on deck. Securing Conn-Pod, getting ready to drop.”_

_“Release for drop.”_

_“Gipsy Danger, ready for the big drop.”_

Shouts of excitement from both pilots echoed through the speakers as Gipsy Danger’s Conn-Pod was released from its storage cradle and dropped rapidly down towards the body of the jager. Maya watched as Gemma leaned forward, clearly enthralled by this. She was friends with the Beckets, of course she’d be enthralled.

_“Coupling confirmed, sir.”_

_“Engage pilot to pilot protocol.”_

_“Engaging now."_

The Conn-Pod finished its rotations and locked into place. Gipsy’s protective armor shifted around the neck, covering the vulnerable join. The reactor flared to life, the vent in Gipsy’s chest turning blue, and then orange. Gipsy’s running lights came on, filling the bay with more light.

Maya felt a little bit of excitement too, she had to admit. A little bit of apprehension as well. The kaiju was coming this way. Her life was in the hands of the Becket brothers, and perhaps the pilots of Wolverine Thunder as well, if it came down to it.

The bay doors opened and the jaeger crawled forward on the launch platform, heading for the open ocean. It moved out of visual sight of the bay cameras when it dropped into the ocean.

_“Gipsy Danger, ready and aligned, sir.”_

_“Rangers, this is Marshal Stacker Pentecost. Prepare for neural handshake.”_

_“Starting in fifteen. Fourteen. Thirteen. Twelve. Eleven.”_ The LOCCENT officer began the countdown.

“Ah, shit. We likely won’t get visual of the battle. Storm is pretty bad, it’s too dangerous for the Jumphawks to be out so they’re calling them all in.” Herc said at his terminal, reading over the data streaming in. Maya was a little disappointed, but at least there weren’t people out there unnecessarily. She’d feel terrible if a chopper crashed just to record the fight. There would be others, ones she’d be participating in.

The countdown finished and Maya knew that the two Beckets were melding with their jaeger. The two held some of the strongest Drift records, having a deep bond with each other. They’d fight well tonight.

_“Neural handshake strong and holding.”_

_“Right hemisphere is calibrating."_

_“Left hemisphere calibrating.”_

On the data feed Herc had pulled up from LOCCENT, they could see Gipsy Danger’s status, the vitals of the pilots, everything they’d see if they were sitting in LOCCENT themselves. It was probably a huge breach of protocol,letting the cadets see it, but Maya couldn’t find it in herself to mind if she was reprimanded later. Hell, she’d defend Herc if he was reprimanded for it. They should be able to see this stuff. It was important.

_“Gentleman, your orders are to hold the Miracle Mile off Anchorage. Copy?”_

_“Copy that, sir….Sir, there’s still a civilian vessel in the gulf.”_

_“Gentlemen, you’re protecting a city that holds two million people. You do not risk those lives for a boat that holds ten, am I clear?”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

That was a little harsh, but Maya could understand where the Marshal was coming from. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

On the map they watched as Gipsy moved to take her position. They didn’t have to wait long before the action started. Gipsy Danger was moving steadily towards the boat’s position, making it increasingly obvious that they were disobeying orders.

The screens lit up suddenly, displaying damage reports to Gipsy Danger. It had taken a hit to the right shoulder but nothing serious. They had engaged the kaiju. The small boat shifted to the side and was hopefully getting out of the way. If they weren’t crushed by either the kaiju or the jaeger, the waves from the fight would pummel the small vessel, breaking it apart.

More damage readings from the jaeger. Minor damage to the front and left arm. They had learned in their jaeger tech classes that they’d almost never walk away from a fight without a scratch. So these damage reports weren’t immediately worrying to Maya, but Gemma kept making sounds of distress beside her. Maya reached over and gripped the girl’s hand.

“They’re good pilots. It’ll be alright.”

“It’s just really close. They’re only seven miles out. Wolverine Thunder should have launched too.” Gemma said, tapping the fingers of her free hand on the table.

“Romeo Blue is on their way inland, but it’ll take them awhile to slog through all that water. Wolverine Thunder is ready for launch at any second. The pilots are already suited up and the Conn-Pod is secured to their jaeger.” Herc said, watching all the data streams closely. Maya could see the tension in his body. He was also itching to get out there, to fight.

Gipsy’s right arm flashed from green to blue, indicating the plasma cannon was loading.

_“Get him! C’mon, shoot it!”_

_“I’m on it! I’m on it!”_

**  
**Two discharges were detected, and the kaiju’s signature faded. There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone gathered in the room. Maya relaxed in her chair, letting go of Gemma’s hand. **  
**

_“Discharge reading sir! Plasma cannon, in the shallows seven miles off the coastal line!”_

_“Gipsy what the hell is going on?”_

_“Job done sir. Lit it up twice, bagged our fifth kill.”_

_“You disobeyed a direct order.”_

_“Respectfully,sir, we intercepted a kaiju and saved everyone on that boat.”_

_“Get back to your post, now!”_

_“Yes, sir!”_

For just a brief second, Maya was thinking about getting to go back to bed. She would even skip breakfast for a little more sleep. And then -

_“Signature rising. That thing’s still alive sir!”_

_“Gipsy, we’re still getting a signature. That kaiju is still alive. Grab the boat and get out of there! Do you copy? Grab the boat and get out of there, now!”_

It did it again! How in the hell was it able to completely drop off sensors like that? Something that large shouldn’t just disappear. Maya sat up, leaning on the desk in front of her.

Gipsy Danger’s display flashed again, the Conn-Pod flickering as it took damage.

_“Take it, Raleigh!”_

_“I’ve got this!”_

Gipsy’s left arm went from green to blue as the plasma cannon loaded. Surely the kaiju couldn’t withstand repeated blasts from the weapon. If it did, they were in a world of trouble. On another screen, activity indicated they were launching Wolverine Thunder, but Maya was paying attention to Gipsy’s feed. She wished there was visual of this fight.

Maya’s blood ran cold when Gipsy Danger’s left arm flashed red and then faded to grey. Screams of pain came through the speakers as the circuitry suit Gipsy’s left pilot (Raleigh, had to be) shorted out from lack of data. Maya had seen the scars the suit left behind on others. The techs said the pain was a way to help the pilots respond faster in combat, but Maya didn’t understand why it had to leave scars.

_“LOCCENT, we’ve been hit!”_

_“Left arm’s gone cold, sir!”_

This wasn’t like watching the attack in the Philippines a few months ago. The room was silent. Maya wanted to tear her eyes away from the screen. From another set of speakers, cursing from Romeo Blue could be heard.

_“Son of a bitch, Gipsy just hang on!”_

Some of Gipsy’s other systems began to compensate for the damage, but Knifehead just kept coming and more and more of the virtual diagram of the jaeger was turning red as it took more damage. The Conn-Pod went from green to yellow to red so rapidly Maya wasn’t even sure there was a Conn-Pod anymore.

_“It broke through the hull-”_

_“Raleigh, listen to me, you need-”_

Whatever Yancy Becket had to say broke off and his scream was cut short. Raleigh’s could still be heard for a moment longer and the anguish in his voice before they lost sound made Maya’s heart freeze in her chest. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the screen as Gipsy Danger’s right side pilot’s vital signs all dropped to zero. From somewhere to her left, there was the sounds of crying and words in French. To her right, Maya could feel Gemma trembling in her chair.

And Knifehead kept coming.

Somehow, Gipsy’s right arm flashed blue. Raleigh Becket was still alive, was still fighting. Maya wasn’t sure how. The display flashed - the cannon was overloading. He had to fire now- the blast would kill him if he didn’t.

A third discharge was detected, and both the kaiju and the jaeger signature vanished.

Except for the sounds from the LOCCENT feed and the two jaegers, there was quiet in the room.

_“Second discharge fried all the comms, sir. I’m not getting any signals.”_

_“LOCCENT  I've lost Gipsy’s signature. What the hell is happening?”_

_“Wolverine Thunder -We’re still two miles out. Is the kaiju still in play? LOCCENT?”_

_“No signatures, sir….What do we do now, sir?”_

On the LOCCENT video feed, Marshal Pentecost was quiet. Maya watched as he took a few steps away and then turned back towards the tech speaking.

_“Launch rescue helicopters as soon as the weather permits. Romeo Blue is to stand by until Wolverine Thunder confirms the kill. Then return to base.”_

“They….they’re still alive, right? The sensors were just damaged.” Gemma said and Maya closed her eyes and dropped her head into her hands.

“Its…possible. But unlikely. If they were both still alive even after the kaiju breached the Conn-Pod, the plasma blast would have likely killed them.” Herc replied quietly.

“Oh.” Gemma sighed and Maya lifted her head to look at her young (oh so very young) co-pilot. The girl was staring ahead, towards the screens, but Maya doubted she even saw them. The girl’s face was blank, and that was more worrying than if she had been crying.

_“LOCCENT, this storm seems to be letting up. Get the choppers in the air, we’ll be on scene in a few moments.”_

Maya listened to the chatter from the helicopter pilots, talking to the control tower as they lifted off. Chances were, when they got to Gipsy’s wreckage, they’d find a couple of charred, frozen bodies. At least they’d get to come home. Pilots had been lost before, with no bodies to recover.

_“LOCCENT, Wolverine Thunder confirming kaiju kill, but there’s a problem. Gipsy is gone.”_

_“There’s some wreckage, but the majority of the jaeger is gone. Is she still operational?”_

That gave Maya a reason to focus again. There’s no way the water would have moved Gipsy’s massive form far enough that the other jaeger couldn’t see it. The Beckets were still alive. Had to be. Nobody could pilot a jaeger by themselves.

_“Wolverine, we’ve lost all contact with Gipsy Danger. Mark the location so the HAZMAT teams can deal with the corpse. Switch to thermal, do you have any heat signatures for Gipsy Danger?”_

_“No, we’re not picking up anything. She’s not in range. There’s part of - Jesus, is that her arm?”_   
_“How damaged is she?”_

There was a pause from LOCCENT as they processed the new information. Maya bit her lip and waited. It was all any of them could do.

_“Wolverine Thunder, you are ordered to return to base. Rescue and recovery choppers are inbound.”_

_“Shit. Alright. Wolverine Thunder copies, LOCCENT. Returning to base.”_

Suddenly, the room was stifling. Maya couldn’t wait until the rescue helicopters found whatever was left of Gipsy Danger. She didn’t want to leave Gemma, but she couldn’t sit in that room any longer.

“I need some air.” Maya said, standing and bolting from the room. She didn’t count on anyone following her, and followed the maze of corridors until she found herself outside. It was still dark out, but the sun would be coming up shortly. It was still pretty windy but the cold felt good. It felt right.

A part of her mind was telling her that everything was fine. Gipsy Danger managed to walk away, which meant both pilots were fine, if a little lost without their sensors.

Another part of her mind was telling her that something was terribly wrong.

Helicopters thundered overhead and Maya fell to her knees in the snow and clasped her hands together in front of her. She had never been very pious, but she figured prayers couldn’t hurt now. Ignoring the snow melting through her pants, she pleaded with whatever divine entity there was to let this end okay. Let them be alive.

“Maya?” She felt a coat drape around her shoulders, warm from someone else’s body heat and glanced up to see Herc standing over her. She stood, brushing the snow from her knees and turned to face him.

“Come inside. It’s ten degrees out here. The Lieutenants have the kids, they’re still waiting on recovery information.” He said to her over the wind and Maya nodded wordlessly and followed him back inside the building.

He guided them up to their shared dorm, which was completely empty. Everyone else would be in the Operations room still, waiting on word from the helicopter pilots. Maya’s pants were wet and she was shivering despite the jacket. She went into her room to change, leaving Herc to hover in the doorway with uncertainty on his face. Maya found herself changing in the bathroom, despite her opinion that they were all adults.

When she came back out, he was still there, and she returned his coat to him with a small smile.

“How long until we know anything?” She asked as the two of them went to sit down on one of the sofas. Instead of taking a spot in a recliner as he usually did, he sat next to Maya.

“Depends on how long they take to find Gipsy. You’d think it’d be hard to lose something that big, but with all her sensors fried and the weather the way it is, it might be a while.” Herc sighed and leaned forward, staring down at the floor between his legs.

“Yancy Becket is probably dead, isn’t he?” Maya had to ask. She already knew the answer but she spoke up anyways.

“If he isn’t, he will be before the rescue teams find him. The Conn-Pod was breached on his side. The harness was removed, which was when we lost all vitals. And you heard the other Becket, before we lost sound.” Herc said wearily. Maya remembered the screams of pain, not only physical but mental and emotional too.

“So Raleigh is out there, frying his brain piloting that jaeger alone.” Maya said, mostly to herself. Poor kid. And they both were just kids. Yancy was twenty four, Raleigh a little over twenty-one. They had so much life to live. Lives cut short because of a war.

“How do you do it? Watch Chuck in the simulators, knowing you’re taking him out to face the same fate?” Maya asked, turning to Herc. The man sat up, suddenly looking older than his thirty-nine years.

“He could have found a different co-pilot. His scores were high enough, the brass would have dug for anyone who matched his profile. I insisted. I used to think that if he… if he died in a jaeger, I’d go with him. No parent should outlive their child. Now...I’m not so sure.” His voice wavered in a way Maya had never heard before. She was a parent herself, after a fashion, she could understand the sentiment. Lifting a hand, she cupped the side of Herc’s face, blinking back the tears she felt prickling her eyes. She stroked her thumb across his cheek, feeling the scrape of his facial hair that he hadn’t had the chance to shave off.

She felt his hands on either side of her face, mimicking her motions exactly. They were warm and subconsciously she leaned into one, closing her eyes and nuzzling at his rough palms with her cheek. They were the hands of a man who never shied away from hard labor and it was comforting. She leaned her head forward and his hands traveled with it, until her forehead was resting on his.

“It’s got to end sometime. One way or another. All we can hope to do is go out fighting and pray we made a difference.” She murmured, turning her head ever so slightly to press a soft kiss into the pad of his left thumb. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that all she had to do was lean forward just a little bit and she’d kiss his lips. And she wanted to. It had been a terrible month and she missed the comfort of being in someone’s arms and-

This was everything the man didn’t need. She pulled away, gently so he didn’t assume anything was wrong. Herc Hansen was still mourning the love of his life, six years later, and she didn’t need to give him any conflicted feelings. Opening her eyes, she gave him a small smile.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. We should probably get back, Gemma, the poor girl-” She was cut off when Herc pressed his lips against hers with the desperation of a man who knew he was going to die soon. It might not be tomorrow, or even six months from now, but they both knew they’d never make it to their golden years.They’d never admit it to themselves, or anyone else, but they both knew.

Maya leaned forward into the kiss, hands travelling up to his shoulders and she rotated her body to face him. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer and he fell backwards, pulling her along with him until they were reclined on the arm of the sofa. Their lips moved against each other with an urgent need to taste each other, to explore, to feel something other than sorrow and fear. Maya began kissing down his jawline, relishing the feel of his stubble on her cheek. She moved her legs up to rest on either side of his hips, trapping him underneath her.

Maya felt her shirt pulled from the waistband of her pants and then warm hands slid up her back, fingers tracing along her spine. She sighed and licked a stripe from the base of Herc’s neck to just under his earlobe and he shivered underneath her. She felt his fingers dancing around the clasp of her bra and she lifted her head to look at him, to give him permission to strip her, to take what he needed -

The morning alarms came from all four bedrooms, startling her. The only thing that kept her from rolling off him and onto the coffee table was his arms tightening around her. She took a couple of deep breaths to recover from the shock and looked back down at Herc, her cheeks heating up. There was a dead Ranger, a missing jaeger, and here they were making out like the hormonal teenagers that rode in the Conn-Pods with them. Dr Lightcap would have a field day with this sort of personality transfers.

Maya pulled herself off of Herc and sat on the other arm of the sofa, straightening her shirt and hair. When she was finished, she looked over at him with a shy smile.

“We should...probably get back.” He said, his voice a little rougher than usual, and it gave Maya a shiver of want down her spine. She nodded her agreement and stood up. He followed her from the room, and they made their way back to Ops, where presumably the rest of the cadets were still waiting to hear back from the rescue helicopters. Whatever it was, Maya knew it wouldn’t be pretty.

It wasn’t, at all. Her fears of Yancy Becket’s death had been confirmed, and the helicopters showed a vido feed as they landed on the shores near Gipsy Danger’s broken body. There was a figure on the ground, clad in the white drivesuit that the Beckets both wore, and the radio chatter confirmed that it was Raleigh Becket. Surprisingly, he was alive, but he was delirious, calling out for a brother who wouldn’t answer back.

Maya looked at Gemma, who was staring at the screens, her face still blank. Her eyes didn’t even have tears in them, and Maya ached to know what the girl was thinking. She’d know soon enough. Despite the loss, their training was to continue and they had just a few days left until they graduated from the academy, until they crowned their jaeger with the name ‘Maverick Kestrel’ and took her on the PPDC Proving grounds, where they’d prove once and for all they were ready.

Maya hoped that Gemma hadn’t lost her edge. They needed her now more than ever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this hurt to write. I very much wanted to veer way off course and let Yancy live, but as much as I want everyone to live and there to be a happily ever after, that doesn't come til later. 
> 
> If you do the tumblr thing, come find me at the url below!
> 
> ladylaiacona.tumblr.com


	7. Anchorage, Alaska March 1st, 2020 - March 8th, 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation is bittersweet, but taking control of her jaeger for the first time reminds her of her purpose. Everyone gets their Shatterdome assignments and the Rangers leave, two by two, to protect the pacific ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who reads this. I enjoy watching my hit counter go up. A special thanks to everyone who leaves comments! I love getting those! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Life continued on. Of course it would. People died every day, and that was a fact I had to live with, had to brace myself for.

Yancy’s death hit me hard, so soon after my brother’s. The pain I walked around with was something I was constantly aware of. Raleigh lived, but I think there were moments where he wished he hadn’t. The Beckets were close, as close as siblings could be. I prayed that I’d never find out what it was like to lose someone who was connected to me like that.

It worried Maya, I think, that I kept my head up those last few days. But I was done crying. It was time to fight. The pain served as a reminder that we had a war to win.

The day after, I waited in the common area for our next simulator. We were training in a virtual Conn-Pod of our own jaeger, one of the Mark Fours in the Bay, and I couldn’t wait to step back in, to vent my frustration.

Chuck and Ranger Hansen had been called to the simulators before us with Rin and Ryoto. Both Rin and Ryoto came in with looks on their faces and through the open door I could hear shouting down the hall that explained their looks. Something hadn’t gone well. Maya sighed heavily and I looked over at her, confused. Did she know what they were fighting about this time?

The door had nearly closed behind Rin and Ryoto when it slammed open, banging against the wall loudly. I jumped at the sound and glared at Chuck who was storming through the room towards his bedroom. He looked absolutely livid and I couldn’t imagine why.

Ranger Hansen didn’t come through the door and Maya stood up, tugging at my arm. I got off the couch and followed her.

“What the hell do you think that was about?” I asked her and she gave me an almost sheepish look.

“I may have... snogged Herc on the couch like a horny teenager.” Maya said quietly and I halted in my tracks.

“You what?” I shouted and she came over to me and pressed her hand over my mouth. We backed up into a recessed doorway and she looked around before leaning her head in.

“Not so loud! I didn’t mean for it to happen, although I did kind of start it. Just….after all that happened yesterday….I needed something. And he was there.” She said softly and I just stared at her. She scowled at me.

“Don’t look at me like that. You had a quick snog with Chuck on the counter not too long ago.” She snapped, backing up to give me room. A couple of techs hurried by, glancing at us as they passed.

“That’s different!” I insisted and Maya just shook her head.

“How so?” She crossed her arms and looked at me with skepticism. I huffed at her and put my hands on my hips.

“We’re friends. Seeing each other doing the horizontal tango is something we’d discuss anyways, right? That’s his father! I wouldn’t want to see any more of that than I had to.” I hissed at her, glaring at the group of people as they walked by. They had slowed down to listen but hurried on when I looked at them.

“He can’t expect his father to live a celibate life until this war is over. I guarantee none of the other Rangers do. He’ll get used to it or he won’t, and they’ll both have to find new co-pilots.” Maya shrugged and leaned against the opposite wall.

“Celibate? You just said you made out with him! Did you sleep with him?” I said and Maya’s eyes narrowed.

“What? No. Of course not. And so what if I did?” Maya said defensively and I almost didn’t believe her. But before we could talk anymore about this, I heard our names announced over the PA system. Time for another sim.

The neural handshake was shaky to begin with. Maya recoiled unintentionally from my pain, almost causing us to become misaligned, but I pulled her in as best I could. I wanted to recoil from the memory of her on the sofa in the common room (my favorite one, dammit) but instead I let it flow past me. I’d seen her up to worse things. So what if I respected Ranger Hansen and couldn’t possibly see him in that way? Maya and I weren’t the same person.

She almost jumped out at some of the other feelings as they went by but did her best to stay calm, to let them flow by as we had been taught.

_Gemma._ Maya spotted something in my head she didn’t like. _You’ve been lying to the psychoanalysts._

_So what?_

_You start telling the truth or I’m going to tell them. You can’t do this. They’re trying to help us._

So I had been lying a little bit about my feelings. My brother had died. And now a friend was dead, and his brother was in the Medical wing, mostly sedated until his injuries healed. I didn’t want to get booted from the program, so I made shit up.

_Fine. Let’s get this done with, and then I’ll have a little heart to heart with the shrinks._

_They’re not going to kick you out. They want to hear that you’re having trouble sleeping. They want to know how you feel now that-_

_Stop. Let’s just do this. Please._

_Okay._

Taking our Mark Four jaeger through its paces in the simulator was getting to be a routine by now. We weren’t allowed to call it Maverick Kestrel out loud, since it hadn’t been officially named, but in our heads it was already named.

The dark grey and maroon jaeger had a shoulder mounted anti-kaiju missile launcher holding three missiles as well as an electrostatic shock weapon designed to stun kaiju for us while our plasma cutter cut off and cauterized the head. It was a tricky weapon to use, and the missiles were mostly a last defense type thing, but it worked for us. In the sims, we actually used the missiles as an opening attack, drawing it away from wherever it was heading so it came at us instead.

Outside of the sim, as we were stripped out of our drivesuits, Maya gave me a pointed look, and I knew she’d follow me to the psychoanalyst's office if she had to.

“I’m gonna do it. Jeez.”

“You better.”

Dr. Wilson was a middle-aged man who had a love of sweaters and was actually from Maya’s hometown. What a small world. He didn’t seem surprised when I sat down in front of his desk after Maya closed the door behind me. Of course she followed me the whole way there, just in case.

“What can I do for you today, Miss Watts?”

I took a deep breath. I knew once I started talking, it was just going to all come out.

“You can tell me what I’m supposed to do now that my brother and my friend are both dead. I’d only really known him a month but I followed him and his brother for years before this and he actually understood that half the time I just need to talk to someone without them making marks in a notebook and now his brother is in Medical probably wishing he was dead, we have a destroyed jaeger and kaiju who are getting smarter, and I don’t want to screw this up.” It all came out in a rush and I was feeling better for it. Wow. Maybe actually talking to someone instead of trying to keep it all in my brain (and in Maya’s) was better.

“Miss Watts, I’ve been waiting for you to be honest with me. I hope you have some time, this might take a while.” Dr. Wilson said, and to my surprise, he didn’t pick up a notebook or a pen. Instead he leaned back in his office chair and steepled his fingers in front of him.

“Unless I get called for another sim, I’ve got all day.”

* * *

 

Our Drift was stronger after that. Maya was a smart woman who had plenty of worldly experience for her thirty seven years, but talking to someone, a professional, really did help.

Graduation was a small thing. There was no big ceremony, no parades or fanfare. I wouldn’t have been happy if there was. A week ago we lost a jaeger and a Ranger. It wasn’t time for that. There was a small ceremony when the brass decided to officially give us our jaegers, though. We had submitted the names for approval beforehand, and now, the Marshal would call us and hand over our combat drivesuit helmets. After that, we’d suit up and step into the Conn-Pod for the first time.

“Mark Four. Callsign Indigo Centurion. Pilots Michelle Olivia and Leon Etienne Blanchett.” Marshal Pentecost called and the two stepped forward, saluted and took their helmets from the Marshal. They crossed and stood at his left side.

“Mark Four. Callsign Maverick Kestrel. Pilots Maya Eleanor Cadle and Gemma LeAnne Watts.” Maya and I stepped up, saluted and accepted our helmets, tucking them under our left arms and took our places next to Chell and Leon.

“Mark Four. Callsign Seraph Sigma. Pilots Hishida Rin and Makuda Ryoto.” I was slightly confused at the way the Marshal gave their family names first and then I remembered Rin explaining to me once that it was the way names were given in Japan. It was definitely very formal, I’d give them that.

“Mark Five. Callsign Striker Eureka. Pilots Hercules and Charles Gabriel Hansen.” I watched as the two of them stepped up in pressed dress uniforms, their left arms both wrapped in the black bands the rest of us wore. There was a salute and their helmets handed over and they took their place near us.

There were flashes of cameras from the few members of the press that had been allowed in. There were a few more short words from the Marshal and then were were dismissed to the drivesuit rooms to take our walk across the Proving Grounds, meeting the very first jaeger at the end.

I hoped Dad was watching the televised broadcast. Every time a new class got their jaegers, the media loved to broadcast it across the world.

_“Maverick Kestrel ready for drop!”_ Maya announced inside our Conn-Pod. I couldn’t help myself, I whooped in delight as our Pod dropped down and linked up with the rest of Maverick Kestrel.

_“Rangers, prepare for neural handshake.”_ The LOCCENT tech announced and I looked over at Maya.

“You ready?” I asked and she gave me the biggest smiled I’ve ever seen.

“You bet your ass I am.”

_“Neural handshake initiated.”_

The simulators did their best to prepare us for our jaegers, but the first time in the Conn-Pod was always different, or at least all the other pilots had said. They weren’t wrong. Maya’s memories and feelings rushed past me and I felt something else there. The jaeger.

_Hello, Maverick._

The weight of the jaeger was like the weight of a warm comforting blanket wrapping around you. It felt right, it felt unique, like nothing else ever would.

_Oh my god, this is amazing._

_I might sleep in here tonight._

_Oh, is Herc busy?_

_Bite me, Gemma._

_“Neural handshake strong and holding, Maverick.”_

_“Right hemisphere, calibrating.”_ Maya began our calibration routine, lifting her right arm. Mine moved at the same time.

_“Left hemisphere, calibrating.”_ Our left arms moved and we crossed the jaeger’s arms over our chest for a moment and then dropped them to our sides.

I knew I was grinning and I couldn’t help it. This was everything I had ever dreamed and so much more, and despite the losses, I knew this was where I was meant to be. Live or die, I was in a Conn-Pod. I was a jaeger pilot. I was a Ranger.

Jumphawks lifted us from the Shatterdome and into the Proving Grounds. We turned our head to look around and seeing through Maverick’s eyes was just amazing. There weren’t words for what I could see, the sensations and knowledge flowing through my brain from all of his sensors.

_His? Why is Maverick a man?_

_Feels right, doesn’t it?_

_Guess so._

_“Maverick, we’re almost in range.”_ One of the Jumphawk pilots radioed to us.

_“Roger Kestrel-One, Disengaging from transport in twenty seconds.”_ Maya replied, reaching up to the keypad to toggle the release from the transport cables.

We dropped just behind Striker, hitting the ground hard. Our knees bent as we absorbed the impact, but it still rattled my teeth a bit.

_“Morning, ladies.”_ Ranger Hansen said over the comms and Maya grinned. I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t help but smile with her. At least until I saw the black stripe of paint around Striker Eureka’s left arm. I didn’t know they painted the jaegers with mourning stripes too.

_Oh. That’s...wow._

_The jaegers lost one of their own too._

Maya and I looked down at our left arm, and through the dark grey paint a line of thick black could be seen. As Seraph Sigma and Indio Centurion dropped, we noticed the bands on their jaegers as well.

_We should keep it._

_I agree._

_“Striker Eureka, take point. We’ll follow your lead.”_

_“Roger, Indio Centurion.”_

We lined up and followed Striker throughout the Proving Grounds. There was a sort of maze we had to maneuver around, different kind of terrain we had to walk our jaegers through. Maya and I kept up with Striker, and we could sense the others behind us.

At the end of the course, Brawler Yukon waited, his arm also decorated with the mourning band. Striker Eureka stopped several paces in front of them and the three Mark Fours moved to either side of the top of the line jaeger.

Brawler Yukon, the very first jaeger, saluted four of the newest jaegers. We saluted in return.

_“Welcome to the front lines, ladies and gentlemen. Audentes fortuna iuvat”_ Dr. Lightcap said to us.

The unofficial motto of the Jaeger Program was ‘Fortune Favors the Brave’, said in Latin. We responded with the same words. Brawler Yukon dropped their arm and we lowered ours.

Coming out of the Conn-Pod after we walked ourselves back to our transport pickup was liking coming off a high. Not that I was all that familiar with what being high felt like, unless you count the time I took heavy-duty painkillers for a bad sprain back in high school. I was incredibly hungry and had all this energy I had no idea what to do with. It was still the adrenaline singing through my veins and I convinced Maya to come spar with me in the kwoon for a while while we waited for lunch to be served. I had an idea of what Chell and Leon were doing to burn off their excess adrenaline and didn’t want to be near that.

Our hanbōs clacked together as we worked through all fifty-two of our Bushido forms twice. It still wasn’t enough. I hoped lunch would help tone it down but I ate quickly and was practically bouncing in my seat afterwards.

“You should go call your father, Gemma. I’m sure he’d like to hear from you. I know he watched it all on television but I bet he wants to tell you congratulations himself.” Maya told me and I stumbled off the bench trying to get up so fast. She was right. I had to tell Dad.

“Walk. You’ll run someone over.” She called to me as I left the mess hall. She wasn’t even halfway done with her lunch and I wondered how she was managing to keep so calm.

I didn’t listen to her and dashed through the halls to our dorm. It wouldn’t be ours much longer, our Shatterdome assignments were coming this week and we’d all be shipped out somewhere. As I pushed open the door and flew through it, I ran into Chuck, but I had too much momentum and couldn’t slow myself and we both tumbled to the floor with curses spilling from our lips.

“Christ, Gemma, what’s the damn hurry?” He growled once we extricated ourselves from each other and stood. I rubbed at my elbow and he rubbed at his chest where my elbow had landed.

“I was just coming to get my phone so I could call my father. I’ve got all this energy. Can’t help it.” Was I the only one who felt like I couldn’t sit still? I bounced on my toes and he just stared at me.

“Should have hit the kwoon. Or the gym. My old man’s there now.” Chuck said and I shook my head.

“Didn’t help. Maya and I were in the kwoon. Went through our drills twice. Lunch just made things worse.” I said rapidly and he raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, guess the Blanchetts are lucky. Perfect way to work off their post-battle adrenaline.” Chuck tossed a look at their closed door. If their door was closed, everyone knew exactly what they were doing.

“It wasn’t even a fight! Why do I feel like this? God!” I was almost annoyed by how much energy was flowing through my veins.

“It’s a bit annoying. I’m heading to the kwoon. Come find me when you’re done chatting with your dad. Maybe losing will help chill you out.” Chuck said and left the room. I shook my head, deciding I was too happy with myself to be annoyed with him today.

My phone was in my bag but thanks to the solid concrete walls that had traces of lead to protect us from the radioactive engines of the older jaegers, I didn’t get any signal in here. I’d have to go outside.

Tugging on my thick winter parka and a pair of gloves, I made my way outside to give him a call. It’d have to be short.

Unfortunately, Dad didn’t answer his phone. It was almost dinnertime in Georgia, so chances were he was busy cooking something for himself and Lydia, since she had moved with him. Dad would help her with the baby while she finished school to become a nurse.

Going back inside, I decided that I still had too much energy to just sit in my room, so I ditched my phone and winter clothes and made my way to the kwoon.

Chuck was working through the forms when I walked in, and I picked up one of the smooth wood staves and took up a place on the other end of the mat. He looked at me and grinned. I kept my face neutral. I wasn’t happy with him for a great many things, being a jerk at the top of the list. Sure, I was probably going to lose, but I’d probably bruise him a little bit. Maybe. We’d see.

After scoring two hits on him, he smirked at me from one corner of the mats.

“Who would have thought getting you all riled up would make you better. Shoulda done this ages ago.” Chuck said, coming at me again with his staff. I ducked underneath it and brought mine up to hit his midsection again. He dropped his hanbō to block mine and I pushed forward on it, forcing him to lean backwards.

His leg snaked around one of mine and dropped me to the ground. I hit it hard but rolled to my stomach get back to my feet when he dropped his knees on either side of my back and stuck his hanbō underneath my chin, forcing me to lift my head or have my air cut off.

“You’re a jerk, do you know that?” I growled. He gave a short laugh from above me and I reached out for my hanbō. In response, he leaned forward and pinned my wrists with the wood he held in his hands.

“Sometimes. I am sorry, though. Shouldn’t have said that about your brother.” He said to me and I scowled even though he couldn’t see it. It was completely uncalled for, but at least he did apologize. And he did sound sorry…

“Thought I told you once before, Hansen. I like to be on top.” I said in return and bucked him off me. He rolled to the side, his hanbō rolling away. I climbed into a crouch and he sat up and looked at me.

“You did, didn’t you. Pity, I’m going back to Sydney in the morning. Guess I’ll never see what that view looks like. “ Chuck remarked, watching me with a wary expression.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. I was surprised to be upset that he was leaving so soon, but I supposed Sydney wanted their natives back to protect their homeland. It was understandable. I blinked at him, my cheeks heating up at a thought. Maya wasn’t the only one who could make out like teenagers. She should leave that to the actual teenagers. And she was probably up the in rec room right now, watching her shows or catching up with Mark and his kids on one of the computers up there. I had time…

“I could show you, if you really wanted. Not here, though.” I said quietly, and Chuck arched an eyebrow at me.

“Are we….talking about the same thing?” He asked sounding confused and I frowned in confusion as well.

“I’m talking about going back to the room and showing you a thing or two. What are you talking about?” I said, gesturing towards my torso. His expression cleared up and he nodded.

“That’s what I was talking about. I thought you meant your aikido or something.”

“Oh. No. We’ve already established that I’m not going to win there. Let me show you something I can win at.” I replied, climbing to my feet and moving towards the door. He scrambled to his feet and followed and we moved through the hallways quickly, not wanting to waste any time.

The room to my bedroom had barely closed before I found myself crowded against it, Chuck crushing my lips with his. He was an arrogant jerk, but somewhere between the first kiss and now he had learned a few things. I wasn’t sure where but I didn’t care.

I pushed against him, pushing him towards our bunks. Of course, mine was on top but Maya could deal with it. It wasn’t like I was going to have sex with him on it anyways. To my knowledge neither of us had any form of contraception so I wasn’t about to risk that on the same day I became a Ranger.

He fell backwards on the bottom bunk, most of his legs hanging off the side. He slid up a few inches before I dropped onto the bunk as well, my knees on either side of his hips. I pulled his head forward, winding my hands through his hair to hold him place while I kissed him a bit more. His hands found my hips and gripped them tightly and he groaned into the kiss when I rocked my hips.

He was already hard and I giggled and pulled away and tugged on my shirt to release it from where it was tucked into my pants. I made to pull it off and his hands grabbed mine and stopped me.

“Can...can I?” Chuck asked and I smiled and pulled my hands away. He lifted the end of my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. I watched as his eyes moved up and down my torso, his hands sliding up my waist to trace the patterns on the simple black bra I was wearing. I had other, prettier ones at home. This one was made for everyday wear, made to put up with whatever abuses I’d put it through.

His thumbs traced the white stitching that formed a swirling pattern on the outside of the cups and my skin pebbled with goosebumps at the sensation. HIs hands shifted, covering as much of the black fabric as they could. I leaned down to kiss him again, tangling one hand in his hair and taking the other to slide underneath the fabric of his shirt.

I froze when the door swung open and I heard Maya’s voice. “...gonna grab my - oh. Nevermind then.”

She pulled the door closed and I groaned.

“Goddammit.” Chuck sighed and I moved off him and started looking for my shirt.

“Give me a second to go kill her and then we can continue.” I said, finding it a few feet away. I climbed off the bed to go get it and tugged it back on.

“Probably best if we don’t. I don’t have anything for...well, you know. And if we keep going, I might get carried away.” He told me, and I glanced down at the tent in his pants. He was probably right.

“Here. I’ve got another idea.” I said, climbing back onto the bunk and leaning against the wall. I let both my legs dangle off either side of the narrow bunk and pulled him towards me so he was laying with his back against my chest.

“I think this is supposed to be the other way ‘round.” He said, but I didn’t hear any further protests when I began running my hands through his hair, dragging my nails lightly across his scalp. I grinned. It worked every time.

“Yeah, definitely not going back home now.” He said after a while, his voice soft and sleepy. I switched to rub at his shoulders. It would have been easier had he been sitting on the floor, but they were freezing cold on the best of days so I wouldn’t make him do that. It wouldn’t be comfortable.

“Who’s gonna pilot Striker Eureka then?” I asked. Chuck shrugged and snaked a hand up to grab mine.

“I'll miss you, you know” He said, leaning his head onto my hand. I sighed and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“You say that now. You’ll get home, make your first kill, and the jaegerflies will be out in droves to pick up the new cute Ranger. They were all over your father and uncle. You’ll get yours too.” I said, trying to ignore the fact that the thought made me incredibly jealous. I wasn’t a jealous person. We weren’t even dating.

“Most of them are their age. No thanks.” He replied and there was a knock on the door before Maya cracked it open and poked her head in.

“Are you done?” She asked. I rolled my eyes.

“Nothing got started. What do you want?”

“I was just gonna get my book to give to Chell. But you know, if you’re busy riding-”

“We’re dressed. Nobody is riding anyone.” I said quickly and Chuck sat forward, out of reach of my hands.

“I should probably go.” He said, climbing off the mattress. Maya came into the room and went over towards the closet, where she stored her half-dozen or so paperbacks on the shelf above the clothing.

“Oh, yeah. Your father is looking for you.” Maya said and Chuck gave me one more look before he left the room. I wanted to follow him, but I wouldn’t let him leave without saying goodbye at least.

“So….how was he?” Maya asked in a conversational tone when the door closed behind Chuck. I glared at her. She had one of her paperback romances in her hands, books that i had always considered to be ‘beach books’. Steamy and short enough to read while lounging on the beach. I had gotten more than one sunburn that way.

“Chuck is fine.” I chose to ignore the obvious meaning behind her words and she just raised an eyebrow at me. I shook my head and rolled my eyes so hard it hurt.

“I didn’t do anything. He took my shirt off, copped a feel, and then you interrupted.” I clarified and she narrowed her eyes.

“I gave you time to do other things.” She said to me, looking at me like she was skeptical of the whole thing.

“You were gone for like, fifteen minutes. That’s not enough time.” I replied. She shrugged.

“Sure it is. Teenage boys are not known for their staying power. I could have given you five and it would have been plenty.” She told me and moved towards the door. I stared after her in disbelief.

“I need a little longer than five minutes!” I told her and she just laughed and left the room. I huffed in annoyance and climbed out of bed and headed into the bathroom for a shower.

* * *

 

A nightmare woke me that night, another one I couldn’t remember. I remembered the cold, and the wind, and the howling of a kaiju, but everything else was gone. Silently slipping out of bed, a skill I had gotten pretty good at, I picked up my boots and a sweater and made my way into the common room to put them on and go for a walk.

I wandered around the Shatterdome for a while, not going anywhere really fast, when a somewhat familiar figure caught my eye. I hurried to catch up with him.

“Raleigh!” I called and he froze and turned around, relaxing when he looked at me. I slid to a halt in front of him.

He was in bad shape. It was only eight days after Knifehead, and honestly I was surprised Medical had cleared him. His left arm was in a sling, there were still stitches above his right eye and dark bruises underneath it. He looked absolutely exhausted. Was he sleeping?

Stupid question. Of course he wasn’t. I had trouble sleeping after my brother died.

I noticed the duffel bag slung over his right shoulder and I waved at it.

“What’s that for? Are you leaving?” I asked and he frowned and looked away.

“Yeah. They..uh, they dismissed me from the Program.” He muttered and I gaped at him in shock.

“What? For what? That is complete and total horseshit, Raleigh. You have to-”I said, a little louder than I should have been and he winced. 

“Gem, I can’t stay. I need...I just have to go, okay?” He told me, shifting the weight of the bag on his shoulder. I was willing to bet he was covered in bruises and burns. He jumped suddenly, looking around wildly at a sound I couldn’t hear. The pain in my chest was more prominent now.

“Okay. I understand. I’m sorry. Keep in touch, okay?” I said and he nodded and took a few steps back, away from me.

“Goodbye, Gemma.” He mumbled and turned away, leaving me in the empty hallway. I sighed and watched him until he was out of sight, and then made my way back to the bedroom.

Maya woke up when I came back in and she sat up, rubbing at her eyes.

“Everything okay?” She asked, and I could feel her eyes following me as I put my boots back over by our closet and tugged off my sweater.

“Not really. The higher ups dismissed Raleigh.” I said, folding the soft purple wool up and putting it back on the shelf where I kept it and my other wool sweaters.

“For what? He didn’t do anything wrong!” Maya gasped and I shrugged. She probably couldn’t see the movement all that well though, with how little light there was in the room. I could barely see her, just a basic outline of her.

“No idea. He didn’t say. He’s….not doing well. Should I have stopped him?” I asked, moving back over towards the bed.

“It’s probably better that you didn’t. You’re not doing so well either, I think.” She said as I climbed up onto my bunk. Hopefully whatever Shatterdome we were assigned to had a different bed configuration. This was gonna get old.

“I had another nightmare.” I told her once I got settled in with my blankets wrapped around me.

“Does Dr. Wilson know about them?” Maya sounded concerned. I sighed and rolled onto my left side, staring at the blank wall in front of me.

“Yeah. Says they’re normal. Traumatic experiences and all that. Can’t wait to see what the combat nightmares bring.”

“It’s what we signed up for. It’ll be worth it. Get some sleep, I’ll wake you up in the morning so we can go see the Hansens off.” Maya murmured.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It just didn’t come. Instead I laid there in the dark, listening to the hum of the heater and Maya’s soft snoring below me, trying hard not to think about anything and ending up thinking about everything.

I was angry because someone had thought it was a good idea to kick Raleigh out of the program. I didn’t know him nearly as well as I did his brother, since Yancy and I had talked more, but Raleigh was still a nice guy. He did nothing wrong that I could tell during his drop, besides rescuing the boat, which I think any Ranger would have done anyways, orders be damned.

I was sad because Yancy Becket was dead and his brother was in a considerable amount of pain because of it and there was nothing I could do about it. Rangers always thought that when they went down, they’d go down together. We had losses before. Usually it was just the jaeger that went down and the pilots escaped, injured but alive, but this time…

I didn’t know how to feel about Chuck. I liked to think that because I was older I was more mature, but I was really feeling like there was some underlying issue that made him into a jerk. He got worse when his father arrived. There was some history there, some problem, and they were leaving tomorrow and I wouldn’t be able to figure out.

I liked him. If this was a normal world, without the kaiju and jaegers and a threat hanging over our heads, I feel like we’d be trying some kind of awkward relationship to see if it went anywhere. Maybe without the kaiju Chuck would have had a different life.

Without the kaiju, Chuck and I would have never gone to the Academy. Maybe I wouldn’t have ever met him in the first place.

Maybes wouldn’t help me get to sleep.

Despite the pain in my chest, the ache that hadn’t gone away yet, I was happy for one reason. I had accomplished my dream. A goal so many people didn’t think I could do. I was a Ranger. Ranger Gemma Watts of Maverick Kestrel.

I hoped my mother had watched the ceremony, had seen me accept my helmet and I hoped she knew that I had earned this.

I didn’t sleep for the rest of that night, so when Maya woke up at six AM, I climbed out of bed too. She gave me a look but didn’t say anything as we dressed. I combed my hair out, contemplating having Maya give it another trim. I kind of liked it short. Maybe I could color it. There wasn’t any real dress code for Rangers, but it all depended on whoever was in charge of the Shatterdome we were stationed at.

I feel like coloring the underside of my hair a dark red to match the maroon accents on our jaeger would be appropriate.

“Here, put this on.” Maya said to me, passing over a tube of lipstick in a pretty red color. I stared at her. I usually didn’t wear more make up than a few strokes of eyeshadow and some mascara, but Maya was over here trying to doll me up today. I noticed she had put on more makeup as well.

“What for?” I asked, swiping it across my lips. It wasn’t a bad color, but I felt like it was a little out of place with my uniform.

“Last time the boys are gonna see us up close for a while. Might as well give them something to remember.” Maya said, touching up the mascara she wore. She had always been better at the makeup thing than I was, since i had to rely on a few friends in high school to show me what I was doing.

Once Maya declared us acceptable, we left our room and made our way down to the bay with our winter coats in hand.

Striker would be flown to Los Angeles, where they’d secure it to a specially designed ship to transport it across the ocean. Flying it over with the Jumphawks was doable, but it was more efficient to do it this way. Chuck and his father would travel on the ship with their jaeger.

The Rangers Hansen were doing the final checklist with the techs before the jaeger was ready for transport, but Maya and I managed to duck around most of them. Maya called out to get their attention and then waved as we approached. Mr. Hansen smiled at us, turning away from his jaeger. Chuck glanced up, saw me coming, looked down at the tablet in his hands, and then looked back up, his eyes wide. I grinned.

“Thought we’d come to see you off. Bon voyage, and all that.” Maya said, stopping in front of them.

“We appreciate it. We’ll miss your company.” Mr. Hansen said and Chuck snorted and rolled his eyes. I reached up and punched him lightly in the shoulder.

“You know you will.” I told him. He shrugged nonchalantly.

“I suppose. Do you know where you’re heading yet?” Chuck asked and I shook my head.

“We go to the Marshal’s office later for our orders. Could be anywhere.”

“Best guess is Los Angeles. They’re shipping Romeo Blue down there and sending Liberty Prime up here. Sending you down there will keep it from being a boys’ club.” Mr. Hansen said and Maya made a pleased sound.

“LA. Should be fun.” I said, remembering stopping at LAX on our way to Hawaii when I was a kid, but we didn’t get to explore the city any. Our layover was only four hours.

“Rangers? We’re ready to depart.” One of the Jumphawk crews came over, gesturing towards the opening bay doors. Their helicopter would be outside. The roof of the Shatterdome began to open, sending flurries of snow down and Maya and I tugged on our coats.

“Well… it’s been a pleasure, ladies. Be seein’ you around.” Mr. Hansen held out his hand and I shook it firmly, giving him a warm smile.

“Same, Mr. Hansen. Maybe we’ll be deployed together one day.” I replied and looked over at Chuck mouthing the words ‘Mister Hansen’ at me with a puzzled look.

“We’re all Rangers now, Gemma. Herc is just fine.” That’d take some getting used to.

I looked over at Chuck, wondering what I should do. Do I shake his hand? Kiss him goodbye? I didn’t think he’d like the lipstick it’d leave behind.

I settled on a hug, tossing my arms around his neck and squeezing. After a moment he wrapped his around my waist.

“Take care of yourself, Gem.” Chuck said after he pulled away. He bent over to scoop up his duffel bag and looked for his father. I glanced over and-

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Chuck said, scowling when we both caught Maya pressing a kiss to Mr. Hansen’s cheek.

“What? Do you want one too?” Maya said sweetly, smirking at the younger Hansen. He huffed and slung his bag over his shoulder.

“Pass. C’mon, old man, let’s go. Ugh. You’ve got lipstick on your face.” Chuck muttered, stalking towards the doors, where their helicopter waited. Mr. Hansen lifted his bag onto his shoulder and with an exasperated sigh, he started to follow his son.

An idea hit me, and I called out Chuck’s name and hurried after him. He turned and I stopped in front of him and pecked his cheek quickly, leaving a clear imprint of my lips on his face. Maya laughed behind me and Chuck tried to look outraged.

“You’ve got lipstick on your face.” I took a few steps back and and laughed when Chuck smiled.

“Have a safe flight!” Maya called and I made my way back towards her, glad for my coat when a cold wind blew through the open doors. Striker Eureka was lifted from the bay amidst the thunder of the Jumphawks. We watched as both Hansens climbed inside their transport. One of the Shatterdome flight deck crew slid the door shut and gave some kind of signal and it lifted from the ground. I waved, even though I wasn’t sure they could see me.

When the sound of the helicopters had faded, Maya and I made our way back inside. Our appointment with the Marshal wasn’t til after lunch, and who knew when we’d be ordered to leave? Might as well go spend time with our friends until then, right?

In the common room, Chell and Leon were sitting together on the sofa, Chell reclining in Leon’s arms. The waved at us when we entered and I smiled at them in return.

“The Hansens are on their way to Sydney.” Maya announced, dropping down onto a chair. I sat on one of the empty sofas.

“We’ll be leaving tonight. They’re sending us to Vladivostok.” Leon announced, pleased.

“Oh, really? Do they send all the married couples there?” Every pilot stationed at the Russian Shatterdome was married to their co-pilot. It was a little odd, but it’s just how it was.

“Only the best couples.” Chell said, laughing.

“Don’t let the Jessops hear you say that.” Maya replied. Chell shrugged.

“We’re on our way to receive our orders.” Rin and Ryoto came out of their room, their uniforms neatly pressed as usual. These two were always immaculate when it came down to it. I wondered if the Marshal was going to send them back to their home country.

“What are you hoping for?” I asked as they made their way towards the door. Rin paused to answer me.

“After spending so much time here? Lima. It’s warm and sunny.” She said and then followed her co-pilot out the door.

“Don’t blame them there. I hope we at least get LA. Being stuck in the Icebox is going to be hell on my skin.” Maya reclined her head and closed her eyes. My stomach grumbled and I wondered if there were any protein bars left.

“Vladivostok isn’t much better, weather wise. Still, we’ve never been. We don’t even speak the language.” Chell sighed, looking nervous.

“Someone will teach you. The PPDC’s official language is English, so you shouldn’t have too much of an issue. And look at it this way, chances are, no one speaks French. You can talk about private things that way.” Maya said cheerfully. Leon rubbed at his wife’s shoulders.

“She’s right, chéri.” Leon began speaking in French, and judging by the look on Chell’s face, they were probably dirty things.

“Deal.” Chell leaned her head back to kiss her husband. I looked away, because PDA in the common room wasn’t cool.

“I actually speak a little French, you know.” Maya said, but she looked more amused than uncomfortable.

“Oh. We apologize.” Chell said, her cheeks turning pink.

“Oh, no, don’t apologize. Have fun.” Maya said, winking.

* * *

 

Mr. Hansen was right.  Our orders were to report to the Los Angeles Shatterdome the next evening at two PM. A Jumphawk would take us down there with Maverick Kestrel. Maya and I spent the rest of the evening saying goodbye to Chell and Leon, who were leaving at 7 to go to Russia, and Rin and Ryoto, who were leaving at 8 AM the next morning.

It was sad to see them leave. For six months, they had been my friends. We’d gone through all the challenged the Jaeger Academy had to offer together. The long hours, the icy plunge into the water off Kodiak Island, watching Horizon Brave fall. Hearing Gispy Danger fall.

“Stay safe, you two.” Gemma hugged Chell and then Leon before they stepped foot onto their transport.

“Only if you do the same! See you around.” Chell replied, accepting her husband’s hand to help her get into the helicopter.

The four of us left took a few steps back and the helicopter blades began to spin. Chell waved through the window as they lifted off. We watched until their helicopter and Indio Centurion disappeared from our line of sight.

Our last night in the Alaska Shatterdome was spent with snacks while we watched tv shows with Rin and Ryoto. They were off to Hong Kong in the morning. It wasn't Lima, but it wasn’t the Icebox either.

“Oh, come on. How many episodes does it take for them to realize that they need to tie their weapons to their hands? It’s ridiculous!” Maya said, staring incredulously at the screen.

“They never do. Ten seasons of weapons being knocked from their hands because it’s a convenient plot device.” I replied, taking another handful of popcorn.

As much as I enjoyed this show, I didn’t feel up to watching much of it. It was about brothers, something that was in short supply around here, and I knew what would happen at the end of this season. I excused myself and went back to the room to start packing my things. Sure, I had all morning tomorrow, but I couldn’t sit and watch the show anymore.

Even though it wasn’t real, I wasn’t about to watch someone else lose a brother.

It didn’t take long for me to put most of my things in my bag. There were three paperbacks tucked into it along with my clothes, my gently folded sweaters, my spare boots. My other uniforms were put inside, and anything I wouldn’t need for tomorrow.

As I packed, I wondered where Raleigh had gone. He grew up in Anchorage, but would he stick around? As far as I was aware, he didn’t even have a high school diploma. Didn’t really need one, to pilot a jaeger. All you needed was to be determined, to be in fighting shape, and be able to hold your own in a fight. Raleigh could do all three.

I had no idea how to get in touch with him, and it bothered me. I wished I had more time to look for him, but I wouldn’t have time to go tomorrow.

“Gemma? You alright?” Maya came into the room and sat down on her bunk.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.” I said, setting my duffel bag down and leaning against the wall.

“About?” She prompted and I sighed and moved over to sit beside her.

“Raleigh, mostly. What’s he gonna do now?” I told her and Maya hummed and brought her hand up to tap at her lips.

“I’m not sure. He’s strong, though. He piloted Gipsy back to shore by himself. Medical cleared him. He’ll be fine.” Maya assured me, but it wasn’t really helping.

“He’ll have survivor’s guilt. He’ll wonder if he could have done something different. He’ll wish that his brother was alive and he was dead. It’s all part of grieving. But he’ll come through this, just as you did. You shouldn’t worry yourself sick over him.” Maya patted me on the back and stood up.

“Life goes on, Gemma. As much as we don’t want it to. Now, come back upstairs. Rin wants to watch something called ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos’. Can’t be all bad.”Maya tugged on my arm until I stood.

“We’ll rush around in the morning and pack. Come spend time with your friends one last time. Who knows when you’ll see them again?”


	8. Los Angeles Shatterdome, March 9th, 2020 - October 13th, 2024

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a war, weeks blur together, and the only markers of time passing are the deaths of your friends and the few happy moments you manage to find. Gemma confronts her first kaiju successfully, but the others aren't so lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was painful to write. I'm sorry.  
> On another note, here is where I start playing with canon. Not too much just yet, but it's there.

The Los Angeles Shatterdome was nicer than I expected it to be. Once we got our jaeger settled, Maya and I had quite the time exploring. It took us weeks to find every hidden secret the place had to offer. We didn’t explore alone, often inviting a few people on our crew to come along with us. Trips out into the city were similar.

Bruce and Trevin Gage had come to LA as well,  taking up the new post with us. It had been a decision by the brass to move them out of Alaska after Knifehead, and it was probably a good idea. It took Maya and I a full week to pull them out of their rooms, and another week to coax a smile from one of them. They felt like Gipsy Danger’s destruction and Yancy Becket’s death was their fault. Knifehead had slipped past them.

I turned nineteen in April. A few days before my birthday, the PPDC announced it was in the beginning stages of building anti-kaiju coastal walls. We didn’t pay any attention to it. They’d be useless, and what was the point? Jaegers were still around to defend the coastal cities.

My nineteenth birthday was celebrated by a dinner date with Maya. When we returned to the Shatterdome, Bruce and Trevin were waiting for us with small white boxes in hand. I opened mine warily and found a cupcake inside. It had fluffy white frosting and what looked like a peach slice placed carefully on top.

“A treat for our Georgia Peach.” Bruce grinned at me. I rolled my eyes at him but gave him a one-armed hug anyways. It was a lovely gift.

“Oh my god, this is amazing.” Maya said, voice muffled around a bite of her cupcake. Hers looked the same as mine and I took an experimental bite. It was fantastic, but Maya was being a little more vocal with her like of the cupcake.

I found a short video message on my computer when I got back into my room. It was Chuck, wishing me a happy birthday. It wasn’t much more than a ‘Hey, Gemma, um...Happy Birthday’ but it was still a nice call.

Spring turned into Summer. Maya turned thirty eight on July 1st. On her birthday, the Gages surprised us with more cupcakes. These ones were a chocolate/coffee combination and just as amazing as the peach ones. On this dinner trip, the Gages joined us for tacos and a walk on the beach. Maya claimed she was too old for her birthday to be a big deal anymore, but I tried to make it as nice as possible anyways.

Another kaiju crawled from the Breach on the 3rd. We were on our way to dinner when the alarms sounded, and instead of heading to the mess hall, we bolted towards the Operations staging area to await our orders.

The kaiju took its time choosing where to go, wandering close enough to Japan for them to ready their jaegers, but eventually it turned around and made a beeline towards Hawaii. We watched the red blip on the map moved closer and the higher ups decided which jaegers to deploy. And where. I was getting anxious. They were taking too much time. We needed to deploy, now.

“Maverick Kestrel, Romeo Blue, suit up. We’re deploying you in Mamala Bay.” Adrenaline raced through me. Our first combat deployment. Maya and I exchanged nervous looks. This was it. Showtime.

Bruce and Trevin flashed us confident smiles as we separated into the drivesuit rooms. In our suits in a matter of minutes, our Conn-Pods were attached to the jagers, who  were harnessed to Jumphawks and lifted from the Shatterdome. We weren’t Drifting though, not yet. We still had an hour’s transport time at least. The kaiju was big and slow, so LOCCENT wasn’t worried about us getting there behind it. Our Drift would be initiated remotely from the Los Angeles Shatterdome as we approached.

It wasn’t comfortable riding like this for so long, but it was the best way to deploy. Why Honolulu didn’t have their own Shatterdome, I had no idea. It was an ideal place, in the middle of the Pacific. It’d have the ability to launch jaegers to defend itself instead of launching us all the way from the mainland and leaving it open in case the kaiju changed its mind, as they have been known to do.

Back home, Mammoth Apostle was waiting in case it did come that way, as were all the jaegers in Anchorage. Still, it made more sense to have one out here, and Maya agreed with me. We had plenty of time to talk, after all.

_“ETA fifteen minutes, Maverick Kestrel. Initiating neural handshake in one minute.”_ LOCCENT radioed and Maya replied with an affirmative.

“Nervous?” She asked me as we listed to the countdown. Nervous didn't even begin to cover it. I wished I had something to distract me from it. The boys over in Romeo Blue hadn’t been too chatty, but with another win under their belts Maya and I figured they’d open up a bit more.

“A little. Okay. A lot. But the Gages have our back. And we have theirs.” I replied, taking a deep breath to calm down as the seconds ticked by. I didn’t have a doubt in my mind that the two of them would watch our backs. Knifehead was a fluke.

_“Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Neural Handshake Initiated.”_

 While we waited around the Shatterdome for the next kaiju, we had still Drifted and participated in simulations to keep us sharp. Occasionally we took our jaeger out as well. So Maya and I were prepared to be in each other’s heads, to step into combat. Drifting had become second nature to us now.

The Jumphawks dropped us and Romeo Blue in Mamala Bay, just south of Pearl Harbor. On the radio, we heard that the Sydney Shatterdome was sending one of theirs up to defend the North Shore. Sadly, it wasn’t Striker Eureka, but Vulcan Specter. I would have liked to see Chuck again. Lima had sent Solar Prophet to sit and wait in Kāne’ohe Bay as back up and extra defense for the vulnerable Islands, but they both were still a while out.

We still had time. The kaiju was still coming steadily this way, and I thanked God for those brilliant people in the K-science labs who could predict this stuff. The Jumphawks were waiting at the Joint Base Pearl Harbor - Hickam in case we needed to move somewhere else quicker than our jaegers could take us.

About five minutes after Vulcan Specter landed four miles off the North Shore, Maverick’s proximity sensors started going off. The kaiju was getting close. My heart hammered in my chest but all I could feel was a sense of calm. Maya's influence, no doubt. She hadn't exactly seen combat before, but before the Academy, she had been an MP. Something aggressive was what she was trained to handle. 

_“Romeo Blue, we’ve got the kaiju on sensors. Confirm?”_ Maya radioed the other jaeger, and their voices came back immediately.

_“Confirmed, Maverick. I see it. Moving to engage. Stay on my left, draw it away from the city if he goes that way.”_ One of the Gages replied. It was impossible to know which one.They were being honest when they told us that when the Drifted, it was like being one person. They didn’t see themselves as Bruce and Trevin. There was no ‘we’ or ‘us’. They became Romeo Blue. Idly, I wondered if Maya and I would end up like that while I keyed up the targeting controls for our missile launcher.

We probably wouldn’t. We didn’t know each other until a year ago, but somehow we were closer than any friend I’d ever had. It was nice.

Romeo Blue strode forward confidently, and as the kaiju lept from the water at them, they met it with a massive fist.

_“LOCCENT, Romeo Blue has engaged.”_

_“Roger, Romeo Blue.”_

The Gages were great at what they did. They knocked the kaiju around, barely giving it a chance to attack in return. Maya and I moved into position. I activated our electrostatic shock device on the left arm and came forward just as the kaiju hip-checked Romeo Blue and they stumbled backwards. Cursing came from both pilots inside the Mark One jaeger.

Maya and I lunged forward, lashing out with our weapon. Electricity crackled over the creature’s skin and down into the water, arcing towards Romeo Blue too. There was some extremely loud feedback from their radio channel, causing both of us to wince.

_“The fuck was that? Everything’s gone haywire. LOCCENT, can you hear me?”_

_“It’s from Maverick’s electrostatic weapon. Unintentional effects of the weapon. Maverick, you may have to hold off on that and finish this the old fashioned way.”_

_Of course they give us weapons we can’t use. Finish this, Maya._

_With pleasure._

Our other close-quarters weapon was activated, turning our right hand into a lethal cutting tool and we lunged forward with it, digging it into the kaiju’s neck. It howled and rolled into us, throwing us backwards into the water. More warnings screamed at us as we hit the bottom of the bay and a three thousand ton kaiju landed on top of us.

Maverick Kestrel wasn’t designed to grapple, but Maya and I did our best to shove the thing off. After what seemed like hours, it shoved off and turned towards Romeo Blue. We managed to pull ourselves from the water just in time to see Romeo Blue cutting the thing down with the gatling guns in their chest. Blue sprayed everywhere, but the creature fell.

_“Ladies, if you would please do the honors and take the head so we can go enjoy a few mai tais on the North Shore, that’d be great.”_

_“Yeah, I suppose the beaches on this side are going to be off limits for a while. Pity. Waikiki was lovely last time I was there.”_ I replied and we stalked forward and removed the head. To stem the flow of the toxic blood, Maya and I ran our plasma cutter over the surface of the wounds inflicted by Romeo Blue. Hopefully that’d help the HAZMAT teams who showed up to drag the carcass elsewhere.

_“So about that drink on the beach...I didn’t bring my bikini.”_

_“Job well done, ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately, we can’t let you stick around. Time to come home.”_ LOCCENT crackled over the speakers and I sighed. So much for some time in the sun. I suppose I could go out on the beaches in LA, but I hadn’t been to Hawaii in so many years. I missed it.

_Well, at least they didn’t get up into the harbor._

_Did get a cruise ship and a handful of fishing vessels on it’s approach though. It’s a shame. We should have deployed farther than we did._

_Water is too deep out there. I’m not happy with the loss either, but underwater combat is a bitch._

_Wonder what the deal is with our stunner? It’s going to be a problem if we can’t use it like we intended._

_It’s probably a grounding issue. Don’t worry too much about it, Gem. I’m sure the J-Techs will figure out a solution and refit the jaegers as necessary. We didn’t have an issue._

_I hope so._

_“Get some rest on the flight back, ladies. When you step out of the Conn-Pod you’ll have more cameras in your face than Robert Downey Junior at a movie premiere.”_ Romeo Blue radioed, and whoever was speaking sounded like he was in an exceptionally good mood.

_“Gonna be jealous, gents? A couple of pretty ladies taking all your attention?”_ Maya replied teasingly.

_“Hell no. You can take it. I don’t want it. I think I’m gonna go to sleep when I get back. It’s a little after four AM back home.”_

Maya and I didn’t end up getting into bed until after 10AM. We had our mandatory debriefing, delivering our report, a medical check up, and we talked with a few media crews briefly before we were allowed to go and rest.

Dropping into bed that morning had never felt so good, not even after the longest day at the Academy. Maya and I slept most of the day, rousing ourselves for dinner. The mess hall was full of cheers and the Gages joined us for dinner, inviting us out for post-meal drinks at a local bar. When I reminded them I was underage, they waved it away as if it was no big deal. I declined anyways and stayed in that night, reading all the different reports of the attack while Maya went out with the rest of the Rangers. Being so young and unable to celebrate wasn’t any fun.

Still. I had been in combat. I had faced down a kaiju and won. It was exhilarating. I was fighting to protect people. I was doing what I imagined myself doing ever since I saw Brawler Yukon. It was hard to sit still when Maya went out, but I burned myself out in the kwoon, running through all of the forms of the Jaeger Bushido several times. I also ran four miles and hit the punching bags until my hands were sore. 

I did get an email from the Hansens though, congratulating me on my first jaeger kill. We didn’t even technically kill it, although the media like to paint it as such, showing image after image of us lifting the head from the water. The Gages were fine about the whole thing, though, happy to share the spotlight.

Several interviews later, I decided they could have it back. I didn’t like the media attention, although my Dad called to tell me how cute I looked on camera. He also called to check up on me, but he didn’t say it in so many words. I knew he was worried about me in combat, but I just showed that I could handle it.

In August, despite the time differences, I managed to convince Chuck into a video call on his birthday. While it was a little after 7PM on August 13th, in Sydney, it was already noon on the 14th.

“Hello from the future.” He grinned when the call connected.

“Happy seventeenth birthday, jerk.” I said, leaning back into my desk chair. Having a desk to myself was a new thing in this Shatterdome as well. Maya and I still shared a bedroom, but at least we had two separate double beds instead of bunk beds. Like I said, it was nicer than I expected it to be.

“Not much different than sixteen.” He said with a shrug. He wasn’t wrong. Eighteen was better.

“You can see rated R movies by yourself now here in the States.” I told him and he just frowned at me.

“I don’t plan on being in the States anytime soon. Got a home to protect and all.” He had one hand in his lap and I could see his elbow moving as he did something below the camera sightline.

“Um….what the hell are you doing?” I asked, because he couldn’t really have his hand down his pants, right?

“What?” He looked down at his lap and then up at his computer screen. In the corner was a thumbnail of what he was showing me and his frown deepened into a scowl.

“Seriously, Gemma?” His other hand left his mouse to reach up and angle the camera down. In his lap was a small puppy.

“He likes having his ears scratched.” Chuck said and the little animal rolled over in Chuck’s lap to show his stomach. “And his belly, apparently.”

“Where did you get a puppy? I didn’t realize we were allowed to have pets in the Shatterdome.” The puppy was adorable and Chuck obliged and ran his fingers across its white underside.

“We’re not, not really. I found him attached to one of the fences when I went for a run. Got into some kind of netting, got stuck to the fence. Had to cut him free. That pocketknife of yours came in handy.” I was very pleased to hear that he was getting some use out of my gift. I hoped that Mr. Hansen was pleased with his too.

“So...what’s his name?” I asked, leaning forward to get a better look at the little animal in Chuck’s lap. He had fallen asleep from the belly rubs and was still upside down in Chuck’s lap. It was very cute and I wished I was there to pet and play with the puppy.

“Max. I’ve got to go later and get him some puppy chow and a collar. Dad says they’ll let me keep him as long as I train him properly.” Chuck traced his fingers across what I assumed was the very soft belly of the little guy.

What was it with men with dogs that was so appealing?

“You should go though. Don’t want to miss dinner.” Chuck said and I sighed.

“You’re right. Be careful out there, alright?” I said, reluctant to leave.

“Gemma, let’s go. The Gages are taking us out to dinner tonight.” Maya poked her head in the door and saw the video call.

“Hey, Chuck. I’m gonna steal your girlfriend. Oh, and Happy Birthday.” Maya came into the room properly and moved over to the computer. She leaned down to get into the camera view.

“I’m not his girlfriend.” I insisted and turned back to the screen. “I’ll see you later, Chuck.”

“Yeah. See you.” He said with a frown and ended the call. I shook my head. The kid never seemed to be happy about anything.

“Come on, Gemma. Make up and that blue dress your Dad sent up here. We’re going someplace nice.” Maya pulled me from the chair and shoved me towards the closet to change.

September came around with more training, more dinners with the Gages. Trevin seemed to be hitting it off pretty well with Maya, and our Drift sessions confirmed the attraction she had for the other Ranger. It came down to just the two of them on dates while Bruce and I stayed in, playing video games and throwing popcorn at each other when we’d lose.

October meant Halloween, and a few nights before the date, the Shatterdome held a sort of Trick-or Treat for local kids. It was mostly a PR stunt, but all the Rangers eagerly signed up for it. In the parking lot, booths were set up for each of the Shatterdome departments. Maya and I dressed up as a couple of witches and handed out to candy next to the Gages, who were wearing Stormtrooper armor. The other Rangers, the pilots of Mammoth Apostle, were dressed up in a couple of flight suits and had aviator sunglasses and were obviously channelling Maverick and Goose from Top Gun.

It was a fun night, even though I ended up hanging out with Bruce in his bedroom eating the leftover candy and watching horror movies while Maya and Trevin spent time in ours. I was reminded of our first break from the Jaeger Academy. Had it already been a year since I signed up?

November came, and with it another kaiju attack. Maya and I woke late at night to hear the alarms sounding, calling us to the Operations area to find out what the plans were.

The kaiju seemed to be heading towards Asia, but we suited up to wait anyways. It might change its mind, come in the other direction. We had to be ready. We waited in our Conn-Pods for orders.

“So...things seem to be getting pretty serious between you and Trevin.” I said casually, toying with one of the edges of my drivesuit as we waited. Maya gave me a look.

“I wouldn’t go that far. It’s just sex.” Maya replied and I looked over at her with a skeptical look. I had been in her head. She might not necessarily be ready to wear a ring, but it was more than she was making it out to be.

“Alright. Make sure he knows that.” I replied. She couldn’t hide the way she was feeling from me, not if she wanted to Drift properly. Maybe she just didn’t know how she felt.

“Chuck is all the way across the ocean. Anyone here caught your eye? Maybe we can get you some of your own.” Maya asked, looking over at me with a smirk and I knew she was changing the subject. I let it go for now, but made sure to monitor the situation.

“Almost everyone here is at least thirty. I really think I’m the youngest in the Shatterdome.” I told her and she hummed thoughtfully.

“One of Romeo’s J-Techs is twenty-five.” Maya said, bringing her hand up to tap on her lips. It was a good thing we weren’t Drifting, otherwise we’d feel the jaeger doing the same thing.

“I think one of the K-Science officers is also about that age. It’s a bit of a gap, but nothing wrong with some fun. You’re young, you need to get out and explore. The one boyfriend you’ve had didn’t teach you much about yourself.” Maya continued and I shrugged. I hadn’t been particularly interested in anyone else since Chuck and I were talking. Sure, he was an ocean away, but after the war was over, we could maybe do something about it.

“Maverick Kestrel, we’re standing down. Kaiju is predicted to make landfall in Korea. Return to Operations.” LOCCENT told us over the Conn-Pod radio, and the door behind us opened and a couple of techs spilled in to release us from the harnesses. I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at the lack of combat for us.

Back in Operations, Bruce and Trevin dropped into chairs near us. Mammoth Apostle’s pilots came in shortly after, taking seats as well.

“Cat Four. Oooh, they’re calling it Atticon. How come they get a named one?” Oliver Bradshaw, Mammoth’s right side pilot, was reading some information on a tablet.

“You’re just disappointed you didn’t get to go out and fight. Relax kid, there are plenty more kaiju to be had. Unfortunately.” Bruce replied, scrolling through information on his own device. The large holographic screens were mostly to observe the battle and the jaeger stats.

“Deploying Seraph Sigma and Tacit Ronin from Tokyo. Cherno Alpha is standby up in Vladivostok.” Trevin reported and Maya and I looked at each other. What were Rin and Ryoto doing in Tokyo? I did some looking on my own tablet and discovered that they were being refitted due to a slight design problem in their weapons systems.

“You were at the Academy with Seraph Sigma, weren’t you?” Trevin asked and I watched Maya nod and lean in closer to speak.

“Yeah. Good kids. Resourceful too.” She replied and I tapped my fingers anxiously on the table. It was different, watching a deployment with people you actually knew.

“They’re out there with the Jessops. It’ll be a cakewalk.” Trevin replied confidently, giving Maya a smile.

It wasn’t. We watched, completely stunned, as the kaiju ripped Tacit Ronin to pieces and rounded on Seraph Sigma.

_“Seraph, we’re launching Cherno Alpha. Standby.”_

_“Roger, LOCCENT. We’ll engage.”_   
_“Readying Coyote Tango for launch.”_

“LOCCENT is reading no life signs from Tacit Ronin. Fuck.” Bruce mumbled, covering his face with his hands. I sighed shakily. No tears. That was my mantra. Rin and Ryoto could do this. They were strong, they were smart. Their jaeger was well equipped.

_“ETA five minutes.”_ Cherno Alpha reported and we watched the Jumphawks moving the massive Mark One jaeger across the Sea of Japan towards Seoul. Hopefully they’d get there soon.

_“Seraph Sigma copies, Cherno.”_ Rin replied and we watched as they raised the jaeger’s arms to defend the Conn-Pod from the kaiju’s unrelenting blows. Seraph Sigma was trying to give as good as they got, but they were losing. How could they be losing? We trained with them. They didn’t get top marks in the class, but they didn’t get the lowest either.

“Come on. Come on. You can’t…” I was muttering under my breath watching this, the dread growing in my heart. Cherno Alpha would be too late.

_“Coyote Tango is in the air. Cherno Alpha, what’s your status?”_

_“Within visual range. Disengaging from transport in fifteen seconds.”_

It was too late and my blood ran cold when the Conn-Pod was crushed between the kaiju’s teeth. There was audio of screaming, cut off when the electronics in the pod failed. I wanted to throw up.

“Oh God. How….” Trevin breathed. Maya was frozen in shock beside me. I looked to her and saw tears streaming down her face but she was silent.

_“Let’s get this son of a bitch!”_ Sasha Kaidanovsky roared and Cherno Alpha slammed its massive fists together before advancing on the kaiju. The fight was over quickly after that. Cherno Alpha made short work of the injured kaiju, pummelling the monster until LOCCENT told them the signature was gone.

“Two jaegers. It took down two fucking jaegers. How the fuck did that happen?” Oliver exclaimed once the kaiju was dead. I stood up and left the room. It didn’t matter how it happened. All that mattered right now was that two of my friends were dead and we were down two jaegers.

Good kids. Thats what Maya had said. They were both older than I was. More than kids. I was a kid. How did I survive a kaiju attack but they didn’t? They had both consistently scored higher in the sims than I did. Along with Tacit Ronin, they should have beaten the kaiju.

It went after the Conn-Pods. Did they know that the pilots were in there? Were the kaiju capable of learning? Had to be.

I found myself in my bedroom, searching my belongings for my black armband. I needed to get used to wearing it again, apparently.

I found it in my duffel bag along with a few balls of yarn I had bought for a scarf I was planning on knitting. For Rin. I looked at the soft green and brown balls and I fought back tears. How? How did I come out on top when they didn’t? I didn’t understand.

“Hey, kid. How are you holding up?” Bruce found me in my room after what seemed like a very long time. I wasn’t sure where Maya was, but judging by the lack of Trevin, they were together somewhere.

“They were my friends. I was going to knit Rin a scarf for Christmas.” I said, gesturing at the yarn in front of me. Bruce settled down on the floor next to me and picked up one of the green balls.

“Yeah….I bet it would have been beautiful too. Kaori and Duc….I was at their wedding. Beautiful ceremony. Duc….he was crying as she walked up the aisle. I hadn’t ever seen anyone love another person like that until I met those two.” Bruce gathered all the yarn up and placed them back into the bag they had spilled out of. He also took the black armband from me and carefully placed it around my left arm, where it’d stay for a period of time.

“It’s...not gonna be easy. Before the kaiju, Trevin and I were in the Army. Lost soldiers there. We’re going to lose them here. It’s how it works. It doesn’t get easier. It shouldn’t get easier. You’ve just gotta grit your teeth, shoulder your weapon, and keep going, because you’ve got so many lives counting on you. It’s why we signed up.” Bruce threw his arm around me and I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder. He was warm and comforting, and I didn’t care that we were still sitting on the floor.

“They’re learning. Going for the Conn-Pods.” I said after a few minutes. Bruce shifted beside me.

“Yeah. I noticed too. And first thing tomorrow, when K-Science opens up, I’m gonna be in there making sure they noticed. The nerds talk about how much they know about the kaiju, but they don’t know a damn thing in the end. They’re not out there, staring them in the face.” Bruce’s voice went dark and I wondered how often he had looked into a kaiju’s eyes and seen what lies beyond.

“They’re attacking us for a reason. Nobody knows why.” I said and Bruce gave a little laugh at that.

“Well, it’s not like we can ask them, now is it? It doesn’t matter anyways. They want to kill us. So we’re gonna kill them before they can. Them or us. Survival of the fittest, and I’m pretty damn fit, so it’s gonna be them. Now come on, let’s go sit on a sofa or something. I’m too old be sitting on this floor.” 

* * *

 

As more months went by, I learned that Bruce was right. It didn’t get easier. I wore the armband on my uniform more often than not. Months turned into years. More jaegers fell. Early in 2021, another jaeger fell. Shaolin Rogue. The public began to lose faith in us, in the jaegers and the Rangers piloting them. Some of us got death threats. Those were always handled very seriously, but I made sure my father knew to be careful. I didn’t doubt someone crazy enough would go after him, after Lydia and my niece.

Shortly after Maya’s thirty-ninth birthday, we got a notice. The Pan-Pacific Defense Corps were cutting the budget on the jaeger program by twenty percent and diverting those funds to the costal wall program. It was bullshit, and we all knew it. Rangers, our crews, everyone in the Shatterdome knew that they needed better jaegers.

Striker Eureka was proof of that. As more and more jaegers fell, they continued to hold the line. I had a thought though, one I hated myself for. Maybe it wasn’t the jaegers themselves, but the pilots. Cherno Alpha was a Mark One and was holding their own. Romeo Blue held their own. Coyote Tango held their own. Maybe it wasn’t the jaegers themselves, but the pilots. But if that was the case, how was I still around? I wasn’t any better than Rin and Ryoto were.

Hawaii was hit again in October of 2021. This time, Nova Hyperion was launched, as well as Coyote Tango and Striker Eureka. Ceremander, the kaiju, was agile for something it’s size. Nova Hyperion was just as agile, but no less vulnerable. The kaiju made short work of the jaeger, although this one didn’t appear to be going for the Conn-Pod, instead just doing as much damage as it could.

Coyote Tango landed and immediately opened fire, despite the possibility of friendly fire. It was a risky maneuver that worked, pulling the kaiju away from the Korean jaeger, who was struggling to get up. They reported massive damage to their jaeger and injuries to one of their pilots. Hopefully it wasn’t anything serious. We all watched the data feeds anxiously.

_“Striker Eureka in visual range. Keep ‘em busy, Tango, we’ll be there in thirty seconds.”_

_“Roger, Striker. We can do that.”_ The words were punctuated with another volley from Coyote Tango's mortars.

_“Striker Eureka, Coyote Tango, Nova Hyperion, be advised, Hualālai is actively erupting.”_

_“Striker copies, LOCCENT.”_

_“Coyote copies, LOCCENT. Is Nova in the vicinity?”_

_“Negative, Coyote. They won’t be in the way of any lava floes.”_

_“Thank God for small miracles. Sit tight, ladies, we’ll get you up after we finish this ugly bastard.”_

There was a string of what sounded like very angry swearing in Korean as Nova Hyperion struggled to get on their feet, but it didn’t seem to be happening. Their jaeger was completely trashed.

When the kaiju finally fell, thanks to Coyote Tango’s constant bombardment and Striker Eureka’s anti-kaiju missiles, everyone in the Los Angeles Shatterdome breathed a sigh of relief. Thanks to the healthy swearing still coming from Nova Hyperion, we knew that both pilots were still alive. Injured, but alive.

_“Kaiju signature is down. Great work, ladies and gentlemen. Rescue choppers inbound.”_

_“Awesome. I’m starving. What are we gonna do for dinner?”_   
_“We going back to Tokyo? That new place opened up a few blocks from the ‘dome. Looked good.”_   
_“Maybe we should stick around with Striker. Haven’t been to Sydney in ages.”_

_“We’d love a little company at the ‘dome, gents.”_   
_“Unfortunately, you’re not our type.”_

_“Anyone ever call you a brat, Hansen?”_

_“Yeah, but she was blonde and prettier than you, so she gets a pass.”_

Maya gave me a look as the banter continued and I couldn’t help but grin. Chuck was talking about me. I mean, he could have been talking about a different pretty blond, but I was willing to bet he was talking about me.

We still lost a jaeger that deployment, but I was thankful that both pilots lived. Nova Hyperion was shipped to Oblivion Bay to rest alongside the other jaegers that had fallen.

For a while, it started to look up. Any deployment where Striker Eureka was sent was guaranteed to be a win with minimal losses. Chuck and Herc were operating that jaeger as if they had been born to do it.  They were called out a lot, were constantly moving around for their deployments and as a result, we didn’t talk much. I continued to get birthday messages from them, but our correspondences were less and less. I’d go months without even a text message.

Maya and Trevin got even closer and it became obvious to anyone around that it was more than just a casual relationship at this point, although neither admitted it out loud. Still, after Drifting with them, both Bruce and I knew. We gave them space, hanging out with Oliver Bradshaw and his co-pilot and brother James. James and I got along pretty well, even though he was almost thirty. I endured suggestive nudges from Maya when she was around, but to be honest, I considered it. It anything, a relationship would help pass the time, and it wasn’t like Chuck was trying for one anyways.

We didn’t lose another jaeger until November of 2022, when both Coyote Tango and Indigo Centurion fell off the coast of St. Lawrence Island. Maya and I had been deployed too, with Romeo Blue and Liberty Prime as our standbys. It was like we were just there to watch as the kaiju mangled Indio Centurion, using the jaeger’s blades against Coyote Tango. It pierced the reactor on the Mark One jaeger and it went up in a ball of nuclear fire. Indigo Centurion took on water and sank, leaving us to finish combat while Romeo Blue and Liberty Prime scrambled to come to our aid.

The only comfort we had was we could still hear Chell and Leon in Indigo Centurion, fighting to get the jaeger back up and moving. The kaiju was already wounded and in the icy waters off the island, Maya and I finished it with our three missiles.

_“Kaiju is dead, LOCCENT. Chell, Leon, can you guys hear me?”_

_“Oui...yes, yes we can. We’ve lost most systems. Life support is down. Oxygen is low.”_

_“Hang in there, we’ll pull you guys back up.”_

_“Negative, Maverick Kestrel. Rescue and recovery choppers are inbound, you are to wait for extraction.”_

_Negative? Fuck them. C’mon, Maya we can help them._   
_Of course. Terrible orders. I hope whoever is in charge gets fired._

Maya and I moved towards the underwater jaeger, doing our best to ignore the commands from the Alaska Shatterdome. I didn’t know who was running this deployment, but whoever it was was a complete and total moron.

_“Maverick, you were not designed for this. Stand down and wait for extraction.”_

_“You are not to put your jaeger at risk, Rangers. Stand down.”_

_“With all due respect, fuck you.”_ Maya replied, and I knew we’d be getting in trouble later. Right now, I couldn’t find it in myself to care. My friends were dying.

_They might even kick us out._

_Doubt it. They need us._

In the end, it didn’t matter. We dragged Indio Centurion back to shore to discover that Chell and Leon had died from lack of oxygen sometime after the power to their radios died.

_We tried. They know we tried._

_It’s not enough. I’m not enough._

_No, Gemma. Stop. We’ll-_

_“Neural handshake disengaged.”_ Back in my own head again, I leaned heavily against my harness. It wasn’t enough anymore, was it? The jaegers just kept falling. It was all I could think about, even after we were pulled from our Conn-Pod while the Acting Marshall of the Anchorage Shatterdome, Lieutenant Chambers, shouted at us about defying orders.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t dismiss you right here and now!” He yelled, and I looked over at Maya. I almost hoped he gave us the boot. I was tired of fighting a losing war, tired of watching my friends and good people die.

“Because you need them, sir. And if you dismiss them, then we’re leaving too.” I turned at the new voice. I had never met the pilots of Liberty Prime in person, but they were no less impressive than the cameras made them out to be. A husband and wife team, Captain Rogers was giving the Marshall his best ‘do not test me’ look. His wife was standing beside him, hands on her hips and her red-painted lips curved upside down in a scowl.

“You can’t leave.” The Marshall replied in a disbelieving tone. I didn’t care either way. I just wanted to go lie down and pretend that everything didn’t hurt so much.

“Lieutenant Chambers, I’ll take this from here.” Marshall Pentecost came into the room and we did our best to stand at attention for him, but Maya and I were exhausted. Tendrils of the ghost Drift stretched between us and I could tell she was hurting as much as I was. Of course she was. Chell and Leon were our friends.

“Marshall Pentecost, sir, Rangers Cadle and Watts-”

“I know what they did, Lieutenant. You are dismissed.” Marshall Pentecost chased the man out of the room with a stare and then turned his gaze on Captain Rogers and his wife.

“Captain Rogers, Mrs. Rogers, you’re dismissed as well.” Pentecost told them and they both snapped off sharp salutes before leaving the room. Now it was just the three of us, and I hoped that whatever Pentecost had to say was brief.

“Are you aware that you directly disobeyed orders given to you by your commanding officer?” He began and I sighed. Of course we were aware. It was a stupid order anyways.

“Yes sir.” We both answered. Maya started to say something else but Pentecost held up his hand to silence her. She snapped her mouth shut with a frown.

“And you know that per the regulations of the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps, disobeying an order given by a commanding officer in a combat situation is grounds for dismissal from the Jaeger Program, correct?” He continued, moving to stand behind the desk in the office.

“Yes sir.” We replied again and I chewed the inside of my cheek. Look at this. I was being booted out of the program. Of course. Maybe mom was right, and I was a failure. There was a flash of annoyance from Maya at the thought.

“Then by the regulations, I am obligated to dismiss you. So, as soon as the Breach has been sealed,  you will relinquish your helmets to me, leave the Shatterdome and go on your way.” He sat down behind the desk and began shuffling through paperwork. I blinked at him, momentarily confused. As soon as the Breach was sealed? Like that was going to happen anytime soon.

“Sir...I’m afraid I don’t understand.” Maya spoke up and Pentecost looked up from his work at the two of us, looking almost surprised to still see us here.

“I don’t know how to make it any more clear, Rangers. You’re due down in Medical for a post-drop physical. Dismissed.” He told us and then returned to his paperwork. Maya and I glanced at each other for a brief moment before bolting from the room.

“What the hell do you think that means? Another run on the Breach?” Maya asked when we were safely back in our rooms all the way in LA. We didn’t want to risk being overheard anywhere else.

“Probably. God, wouldn’t that be great. Maybe the K-Science nerds figured it out. I’m so done with all of this.” I flopped down onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. As soon as we got back, they had announced more budget cuts for the Jaeger Program. The Tunaris hadn’t been buried more than twenty four hours, and Chell and Leon hadn’t even made it back to France yet for their service.

I was tired of burying friends. I don’t care how right Bruce was, I just wanted it to stop. We had to win somehow. Every monster movie I had ever watched, humanity triumphed over the creatures that bothered us somehow. How would we win?

2023 was another terrible year. More jaegers down. More Rangers dead. We were constantly on alert. The frequency of attacks was increasing, and Bruce and I spent a ton of time down in the K-Science labs trying to figure out what they wanted. Nobody had any clue. Most of them were still convinced they were just mindless beasts.

Bruce ended up having to drag me out of the labs as I shouted at one of the scientists about how they were learning. They were going for the Conn-Pods, where the pilots were, and disabling the jaegers so we couldn’t fight back.

It seemed someone actually heard me though, as jaegers were being taken offline in a rotation to reinforce the Conn-Pods. Romeo Blue had the fin in front of theirs, but it was also a vulnerability as it gave the kaiju something to grab.

Three days before the New Year, another kaiju came from the breach and headed towards Seattle. Romeo Blue had already undergone their upgrades, but Maverick was still offline. We couldn’t join them in the fight.

The Gages flashed us identical smiles as they headed towards the Drivesuit room to suit up and deploy.

“Don’t worry ladies. You’ll have your New Year’s dates.” Trevin called and we hurried to Operations to watch the battle.

It was going well, right until it didn’t, and a tail reached over Romeo Blue’s protective fin and partially crushed their Conn-Pod despite it being reinforced. It only got worse from there. Trevin had been killed immediately, but Bruce was pulled from the Conn-Pod, mostly dead himself, after Liberty Prime took the kaiju down.

Bruce died at the hospital in Seattle ten minutes after he arrived. It wasn’t the first time I had thought of the Beckets since Knifehead, and I knew it wouldn’t be the last, but I wondered where Raleigh was, if he was watching these battles and wishing he had gone down with his brother as well.

I also wondered if Raleigh had decided to join his brother in the afterlife. I hadn’t heard from him since I watched him leave in Anchorage.

Maya refused to leave her bed for a week after. She didn’t even go to the funeral service in Monterey. I went with Oliver and James and was surprised at the massive turnout. They were local heroes who had been at home on leave when Trespasser came out of the Breach. They had rushed to aid the people of San Francisco as soon as they could, sending their younger sisters away with their parents.

Also twins, Victoria and Kelly Gage were the only living members of their immediate family left and accepted their flags. They were buried with every honor that was due to them as decorated veterans of the war in Middle East and the Kaiju War. Both women were in tears as two men in United States Army uniforms knelt before them, handing a flag over to each woman.

I didn’t cry. I felt numb to the whole thing. I wondered if this was some kind of nightmare. I wondered why I would willingly volunteer for this. It was becoming increasingly obvious to me that I was going to die, sooner or later.

When I got back to the Shatterdome that evening, I sat down at my computer and found several messages from the Hansens and my father, who was getting increasingly concerned for me as time went on. I didn’t answer any of them. Instead, I started writing messages to tell everyone goodbye. Two to the Hansens, which I figured would survive this, going by their track record with kaiju. One to my father and one to my niece. Anything I had would go to her. They sat in my outbox, with a trigger set to remind me about them every couple of weeks. If I wasn’t around to continue the reminder, the messages would be sent.

After that, I shut my computer down and made my way to the gym. I wasn’t able to sleep anymore unless I was completely exhausted, until my body matched the tired and achy way my mind felt.

Someone had left the television on in the gym and as I ran on the treadmill, I watched some stupid gossip program talk about some celebrity at a nightclub somewhere. I couldn’t care less. I almost switched it off when a name caught my attention.

_“Chuck Hansen, one of the pilots of the Australian Mark Five jaeger Striker Eureka, was seen last night leaving Midnight Ice with what is rumored to be his new girlfriend, the twenty-three year old actress Amanda Key. His appearances at local bars and nightclubs with a different girl each week has spurred the speculation that he is taking after his uncle, the former Ranger Scott Hansen, much to the dismay of his father, Hercules.”_

I stopped running and stared as grainy video images of what was very clearly Chuck with his arm around a slender woman with long, curly blonde hair. Anger curled in me, along with betrayal. I don’t know why I felt either. We weren’t dating. He was free to do what he wanted. I shouldnt’ be angry at him for doing what a teenage boy would do.

Except somewhere between all of my friends dying, I forgot he had turned twenty. Wasn’t a teenager anymore. Did I even wish him a Happy Birthday this year? I couldn’t remember the last time I had even spoke to him.

Sighing, I had suddenly lost the desire to work out. I flipped off the TV and left the gym, wandering down the halls.

Bruce would have found me in the hall, made some joke and dragged me upstairs to play whatever new video game he picked up, or he’d take me out to whatever food truck he found nearby on Twitter.

Chell would have pulled me aside, showed me whatever new recipe she found and we’d talk for hours about the different foods we wanted to make. Leon would make us tea and tell us stories about how he’d cook with his mother back home. Rin and Ryoto would take me up to the rec room, make me watch a show with them and we’d discuss how silly things were.

Yancy would have found me, handed over a couple pieces of candy pilfered from his brother’s supply and we’d sit and stare at the jaegers in the bay. We talked about home, our siblings, our copilots.

I found myself back in my room, where Maya was towelling off after a shower. She glanced up at me and her eyes were rimmed with red. I didn’t say anything as she dressed and we dropped onto our beds, looking at each other for a while. Should I try and comfort her? It wouldn’t help me any, but somewhere along the line she had fallen in love with Trevin.

“Why are you all sweaty?” She asked me after a minute, and I didn’t realize that I had worked up a sweat in the gym and that my short hair was still flattened to my head from it.

“I was in the gym. Changed my mind, came back here.” I shrugged at her and she raised an eyebrow at me, not quite believing it. It was weird, how we couldn’t lie to each other anymore. She always knew. It had to be the Drift.

“Well, go shower. We’re going out. They’d be so damn angry with us for moping around. And tomorrow, we’re looking for that fucking cupcake place. Bastards never told us where they got them.” Maya ordered and then stood and walked to my closet, where she rooted around for a while before finding a green blouse. I wasn’t sure how to handle this. I was willing to just pretend it all didn’t hurt, but it seemed she got over it really quickly.

“Stop looking at me like that and go shower. We’ll come back later and be sloppy, emotional drunks about this. I don’t want to redden my eyes anymore right now.” She called over her shoulder and I shrugged and went into the bathroom. At least I didn’t have to pretend to know how she was feeling, or say words I didn’t really feel.

Maybe she knew that.

The bar we went to was in a less celebratory mood. People were losing hope in the jaegers and the PPDC in general, despite the building of the costal wall. Maya and I just kept our heads down and ordered a few drinks, sitting at a table in the corner. Nobody bothered us.

“You remember when Trevin tried feeding the seagulls on the beach?” Maya said with a smile, finishing the rest of her whiskey sour. I sipped on my rum and Coke and nodded.

“Yeah, and two of the damn things stole his hat?” I laughed at the memory.

“So both of the dumbasses go running down the beach after it.” Maya giggled and fished the cherry from her drink.

“The only time they didn’t do something together was when you were in Trevin’s lap. You know...at least they’re together.” I drained my cup and set it back on the table. It was the jaeger pilot’s hope, especially after the Beckets, to go down together. Nobody wanted to find out what it was like to have half your head empty after sharing so much with another person.

“They’re still dead. Hope Seattle is grateful.” Maya said with a sudden bitterness. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, her method of staying calm when her emotions ran high. Her remark was a surprise to me. She had always been the type of person who believed in the needs of the many over the needs of the few. I had always thought an outlook like that was bullshit.

“I’m gonna go get us more drinks. Sit tight.” She said, standing up and heading back over towards the bar. I watched her go and played with the straw in my empty cup.  She was right. We were dying for people, and nobody was grateful anymore. They threatened us, told us we weren’t doing our jobs, took away our funding.

And still we kept fighting. Someone had to, I supposed, We’d fight to the last of us, which was going to be Striker by the looks of it, and then they’d hope that their precious wall would hold the kaiju back. It only protected the mainlands of these countries though. What about Hawaii? The Philippines? Japan? All islands. Would they surround the entire island with the wall and hope it held?

Maya sat back down and passed a drink over to me, which was red and yellow in color and not the rum and Coke I had been drinking. There was a slice of orange and a cherry for a garnish and I looked at Maya questioningly.

“It’s from that cute kid at the end of the bar, the one in the blue peacoat? He thought you were cute, wanted to buy you a drink. Asked me what you liked. You’ll like that.” She nodded towards the drink, and I lifted it to my lips and gave it a taste. It was a sweeter, definitely alcoholic version of orange juice. It was good though, and I looked up and found the guy at the bar Maya was talking about. He lifted his drink in a sort of wave and I did the same.

“Now, go talk to him. I’m not going anywhere.” Maya insisted and I stared at her. I didn’t particularly want to talk to anyone, and I didn’t want to leave her alone, but she just kept looking at me, so I stood up with my drink and made my way over to him.

His name was Devin and he was a student on break from the University of Southern California, studying engineering. It was something we could talk a little about, since I knew a tiny bit about how jaeger engineering worked. Somehow though, the fact that I was a Ranger escaped him. He began asking me about the process to become a jaeger tech and was surprised when I told him I was a Ranger.

“Yeah. One half of Maverick Kestrel.” I said, sipping more on my drink. I figured he’d lose interest then, but instead his eyes lit up.

“Wow. That’s amazing, actually. I know I’ve seen you on TV, but I guess I never really put it together. You pilot one of those things, those amazing feats of engineering. That’s so cool.” His grin was infectious and I couldn’t help but smile with him.

“You’ve gotta be the only person here who still seems to like Rangers. Most of the world wants to toss us into the breach so they can build that stupid wall of theirs.” I just shrugged and looked down at the table, scratching at the wood idly.

“Most of the world is full of idiots. Between you and me, that wall is ridiculous. It’s not going to hold if the kaiju keep getting bigger, and they are. The pilots, they got cocky, sure. Some of them paid the price. But a ton of you were good at it. The kaiju are just getting bigger, and we have to respond in turn. Striker Eureka is a top of the line jaeger, and it keeps winning. All the rationing, the extra taxes….they’d all be worth it if we put the money into another one of those for you and your copilot.” I blinked at Devin. I had never expect anyone to say that. Someone else knew what our governments were refusing to admit. It was refreshing.

“I can’t imagine what the kaiju want with this little rock, but that wall is only going to be a minor inconvenience when they make their way to the Grand Canyon or whatever to lay eggs. Or whatever they do. “ Devin shrugged and set his glass of whiskey on the bar.

I turned to look for Maya, hoping to get her in on this conversation, but the table we had been sitting at was empty now. I tugged my phone out of my pocket and found a single text message from her. ‘Going back to the ‘dome. Enjoy your evening.’

“Problem?” Devin asked when I frowned at my phone and I shook my head. I was worried about her, but at the same time, I was enjoying talking to Devin.

“Not really, no. My co-pilot just left. Went back to base.” I said, tucking my phone back into my pocket.

“Don’t you guys usually go everywhere together?” Devin asked and ordered another round of drinks for the both of us when I finished what was in my glass. He called it a tequila sunrise and I found myself growing fond of it.

“Normally. She’s taking the fall of Romeo Blue pretty hard though.” I accepted the new drink and fished the garnish out to eat first. Fruit was getting harder to come by now, but this bar seemed to be doing well for itself.

“Ah, yeah. I’m sorry about that. About all of them. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose your buddies like that. I mean, you’re all soldiers, and you see it in movies, but I know it’s not the same.” He reached across the table and set his hand on top of my free one. It was larger than mine, warm and strangely comforting, coming from a man I didn’t know two hours ago.

“It’s hard. But we’ve gotta keep fighting. They’d do it if we fell.” I took a larger drink from the cup, staring into it as if it’d answer all my questions.

“It’s weird, you know. In all the movies you see humanity triumphing over the aliens or the monster or whatever it is. I mean, if we can take down an alien mothership with a computer virus with a Macintosh Powerbook, I think we can figure out how to stop the kaiju.” He said casually, propping up his head with an arm resting on the bar.

I couldn’t believe he had just made an Independence Day reference. There was no possible way he could know I liked that movie, not unless Maya told him, and she hadn’t really had an opportunity to talk to him, did she?

“We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight.” I started and he smiled with his whole face as he finished it with me.

“We’re going to live on. We’re going to survive. Today we celebrate our Independence Day!” We got some dirty looks from the bartender as we shouted the last bit, but we just laughed and quieted down, moving closer together.

“Do you wanna get out of here? It’s not a terribly cold night, we could go for a walk. You’re not from around here, I could show you a place or two.” Devin suggested and I gave him a curious look.

“How do you know I’m not from around here?” I asked, but I stood up from the barstool and took one last sip from my drink. I wasn’t going to finish it, but I felt a sense of warmth from the alcohol anyways.

“Because you’ve got a Southern twang so sharp I could shave with it.” I raised my eyebrows at him and he shrugged. “Okay, it’s not that sharp. But it’s noticeable. Where are you from, exactly?”

“Grew up just outside of Atlanta, Georgia. Was born in Savannah though.” We left the bar and began wandering around, not really going anywhere. Devin pointed out restaurants I had to try and gave me funny stories about different houses. Apparently his own place was near here and he knew a lot of the people who lived nearby.

It wasn’t a particularly cold night, but the clouds above us threatened to spill rain, so we hurried to his place. Devin told me he’d make some coffee while I called a cab to take me back to the Shatterdome, since neither of us should be driving.

“Unless...you’d want to stay, and I can take you back in the morning.” Devin suggested when he opened his door, turning to look at me with a somewhat hopeful expression.

For a very brief second, I considered turning him down. I didn’t want to leave Maya alone. But at the same time, Devin was nice and kind of funny and I wasn’t going to have to watch him die in combat.

“Staying sounds like a good idea.”  

* * *

 

The thing I had with Devin lasted until he went back to school, where I assumed he’d be too busy to keep up with me and my crazy schedule, but it was a nice thing that made me realize that since I was going to die sooner rather than later, I might as well enjoy life while I could.

I had a string of lovers, some of them in the Shatterdome itself, and none lasted more than a few weeks. It took my mind off the loss of the jaegers, the loss of my friends. Maya said it was a form of coping, although I noticed she didn’t take anyone else to her bed after Trevin died. Still mourning him, I figured and never brought it up.

I turned twenty-three in 2024. Maya and I celebrated that birthday by hunting for the cupcake place that Bruce and Trevin got our gifts from each year. We still hadn’t found it, but Los Angeles was a big place. Chances are it’d be closed thanks to the rationing going on in the city, but we wanted to know where it was regardless.

“You know, I bet those bastards made the damn things themselves.” Maya grumbled when we got back in that evening. I laughed and tugged off my boots. I didn’t care. I still enjoyed the day out with her. All I wanted to was to enjoy the time I had left.

Maya’s birthday came and that same day, we received the notification that most of our funding was being cut. Starting in October, most of the Shatterdomes would be closing to sell off to fund the coastal wall program.

Beginning of the end.

Four days later, we were deployed just off the coast of the city to hold the Miracle Mile. Striker Eureka was being flown in all the way from Sydney to take the kaiju down. We weren’t to engage unless we had no other choice.

_What a bullshit order. Are they just gonna shuttle Striker around to kill everyone while we sit here and look pretty?_

_It’s ridiculous, I agree. We’re too far out if something happens to Striker._

_It won’t. They won’t die. Chuck’s ego is some kind of force shield for that damn jaeger._

_You can’t possibly still be upset over him dating other women. You did it._

_I’m not upset._

_I’m in your head, kid._

Striker Eureka took the kaiju, named Insurrector, down without an issue. Maya and I sighed irritably and made our way back to the Shatterdome under orders.

I avoided Chuck when they came back into the Shatterdome for repairs before they left for Sydney again. I had nothing to say to him. Was it childish? Sure, but I felt like if I went out to meet him, it’d end in a shouting match in the middle of the bay while I called him out on his crap. Dating actresses and models who looked like me, really?

Maybe I was a little upset.

October 12th, the Anchorage Shatterdome was closed. The day after, Maya and I received a visit from Marshall Pentecost. We were the only jaeger left in LA, after Mammoth Apostle went down in Malaysia.

He had a plan, he said. He was gathering everything he could and sending it to Hong Kong, the last Shatterdome available to him. Our ‘dome in LA would be closed in December, and we’d be sent overseas after that to wait for any deployments and to enact his plan when the time came.

It was better than getting decommissioned. So we agreed.


	9. Los Angeles Shatterdome/Hong Kong Shatterdome: December 19th, 2024 - January 1st, 2025

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma can feel the end coming, and so can the others, even if they don't admit it. She moves with Maya and Maverick Kestrel to the Hong Kong Shatterdome to finish her final days in the Jaeger Program.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe some of you have been wondering where the title comes from. Well, I feel like now is an appropriate time to tell you. It's the title of a song by KONGOS. A particular part of that song felt very appropriate to this fic. 
> 
> Afraid to lose control  
> And caught up in this world  
> I've wasted time, I've wasted breath  
> I think I've thought myself to death
> 
> I was born without this fear  
> Now only this seems clear  
> I need to move, I need to fight  
> I need to lose myself tonight
> 
> Music has always been a big inspiration for me to write. I can't tell you how many times I've listened to the Pacific Rim soundtrack as I've worked on this. There's still much more to come. After all, things don't suddenly become all rainbows and smiles after the world is saved!

December 19th, 2024

It’s our last night in the Shatterdome. Maya and I are both packed and ready to go. Tomorrow is closing day. Our jaeger is being shipped to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, where we’ll wait to move on the plan that Marshall Pentecost came up with. We wouldn’t be the only ones there. It was the home of Crimson Typhoon, a Mark 4 jaeger like Maverick Kestrel. We were told that Cherno Alpha was also there after the shutdown of the Vladivostok Shatterdome.

This plan of the Marshall’s involved Striker Eureka too, so we assumed the Hansens would be there as well. We also had Vulcan Specter and Echo Saber, the latter of which had been moved after the closing of the Tokyo Shatterdome.

Six jaegers left, out of so many.

This plan of Pentecost’s is decent, at least. Maybe a few of us might walk away from this. Strap the fastest jaeger with a bomb and drop it in when the Breach opens to spit out a new kaiju. Striker was the important piece in that plan, so it made sense that both jaegers were down in Sydney protecting the city so we didn’t run the risk of losing it.

It also meant that the rest of us were just cannon fodder.

From what we could hear around the base, the Marshall was having difficulties getting the Australians to allow the jaeger to leave. With the Jaeger Program coming to an end, they were reluctant to let go of their investment. One hundred billion dollars had been sunk into the top of the line jaeger, and it showed.

The Marshall was in Sydney now, doing his best to convince them to hand the jaeger over when the Shatterdome closed.

I’ve been doing my best to not think about what’s going to happen. On this run, chances are Maya and I will die slowing down the kaiju. We’ve done well so far, but they keep getting bigger and bigger. Cherno Alpha might walk away. The last Mark 1 jaeger, I didn’t think anything could take that tank down. There had been so many close calls with those two.

I’m okay with it, I think. Dying to end this war. At least my death would mean something. None of the others had. At most, they slowed the kaiju down so another team could finish it. But they were still dead, a sentiment Maya shared with me.

I suppose I should get some sleep. Travelling across an ocean is bound to be an exhausting affair. Not to mention time zone differences. I am excited to try the food though. That’s probably the only thing I’m excited about these days.

* * *

  _Chuck,_

_If you’re reading this, chances are I didn’t make it back from a deployment. And I think I’m okay with that. I mean, I’d rather be alive, of course, but at least I went down fighting._

_There’s a ton of things I wish I could have said to you. I doubt you would have listened to a single one back then, when I wanted to say it. None of them matter now. I liked you, wanted to try something between us. But with the distance, it wouldn’t have worked._

_Perhaps in another life. Another universe, where there are no kaiju and we were just two kids who met at college. Two kids who studied together, got drunk and did stupid things together. We’d have been good together, at least for a while._

_I wish I could understand the animosity between you and your father. My father and brother were close. I just figured thats how father/son relationships went. I hope that whatever it is, the two of you work it out. Life is too short to be angry at one another._

_Have a good life. Enjoy whatever happens the best you can, even if the world ends. Fatten up that dog, find love. In a perfect world, you’d go quietly in your sleep of old age. If you can’t make it that far, go down fighting, like I did._

_-Gemma_

* * *

 

December 20th, 2024

The Jumphawk is taking us to Hong Kong, with a stopover in Honolulu for fueling. We wouldn’t be on the island for very long, but I’d be able to get out of the aircraft and stretch my legs. They were fast, but the trips were still longer than I’d like.

I was able to call my father during the stop, and he didn’t seem pleased with the news. I wasn’t able to tell him about the plan, but he was completely against leaving the West Coast of the United States open to attack. We all were. But orders are orders, which is something he understood.

Every conversation I’ve had with him since the jaegers started falling always sounded like he was trying to tell me to come home without actually saying the words. He wouldn’t, not even if I was the last one standing. I was out here, where I could do something. He always understood that about me. I couldn’t sit still and watch things happen. I had to be a part of it. I had to help.

But he was my father, as Maya explained. I hated that he’d have to deal with the deaths of both his children, but he was a strong man. He had Lydia and little Lindsey to look after now. He’d move on, put all of his love onto them.

Maya is looking at me like she knows what I’m thinking about. And you know, sometimes I feel like she does. We’ve Drifted so much, she knows what I’m going to say before I even say it. We don’t have to talk to each other anymore, it feels like. We still do, because otherwise it gets too quiet.

She knows I’m thinking about dying again. It’s not sentiment she shares. She feels like we’ll come out of this, and I know she’s hoping that some of her optimism bleeds through the Drift. I doubt it will.

It’s time to get back on the Jumphawk for the last leg of our trip. I tried to enjoy the sunshine as much as I could. I wasn’t going to get to visit the Islands again.

* * *

  _Hercules Hansen,_

_I know, I still haven’t quite reached the point where I feel comfortable calling you Herc. It’s a holdover from growing up, when you’re told to talk to adults respectfully, I suppose. Some days I still don’t feel like an adult. Other days, I wish I was still a kid._

_This is probably not my place to say, but if you’re reading this, I’m not around for you to reprimand. I’ve always wondered what the source of animosity between you and Chuck was and could never figure it out. I never liked seeing either of you fight. Back when you were driving Lucky Seven, you and your brother were one of my favorite jaeger teams. You’ve continued to be a favorite Ranger of mine._

_I had an excellent relationship with my father, and I wish that everyone could. It’s never too late to fix things, and no matter how this war ends, I hope that you and Chuck find peace. You both deserve it. I wish I could have gotten to know the both of you better_

_-Gemma Watts_

* * *

 

December 21st, Hong Kong

Maya and I didn’t have much of an opportunity to see the city. A storm had rolled in as we approached, obscuring visibility. The Jumphawk pilot landed as soon as possible, and we hurried into the Shatterdome as soon as we could. Still, we were soaked.

Inside, we were greeted by a young woman who introduced herself as Mako Mori. Her name sounded familiar but I was more worried about getting into dry clothing. She showed us around the Shatterdome, including the bay where Maverick would be stored until he was needed again.

Our quarters were next. After LA, these quarters seemed cramped and tiny. We had separate rooms, something I felt like I’d need to get used to quickly. I wasn’t used to sleeping on my own. It was nice to have someone around when the nightmares woke me up.

We changed and went to check over our jaeger. In dry jumpsuits, we stepped into the Conn-Pod to run diagnostics to make sure nothing had come out of alignment or been damaged during transit. Nothing was out of place, and we stepped out of the Conn-Pod again to let the techs do their own tests to make sure that Maverick Kestrel was in fighting shape.

Down in the bay, we met the pilots of Crimson Typhoon. A set of triplets, the Wei Tangs were eager to show us around their home city. Unfortunately, we couldn’t leave the Shatterdome, mostly for security purposes, but no one knew when the next kaiju attack would come. We were on alert and had to be ready.

After this was all over, they promised us they’d take Maya and I and show us what Hong Kong had to offer. For now, they invited us over to the snack bar they had in their bay. We talked for a while, in English, since Maya and I didn’t know any Cantonese. They were excited for the possibility of this war being over. The oldest triplet, Hu, had a wife, and they were hoping to try for children after the war. This information brought about good-natured ribbing from his brothers, and as we left their bay, we had smiles on our faces.

We also wanted to introduce ourselves to the Kaidanovskys, but they were nowhere to be found. The Wei Tangs told us they were reclusive in nature, but generally friendly. There was time, we could seek them out later.

On our way back out of the bay, Maya and I took a different path to explore more and stumbled upon another jaeger, one I had long since thought gone.

Gipsy Danger stood in the bay, swarming with techs with arc-welders and plasma torches. She looked good. Most of the evidence of damage from Knifehead was gone. Who were they planning on getting to pilot her? The only pilot pair I knew who had survived the loss of their jaeger was the Korean girls, but both had been so traumatized by the event that their Drift fell apart every time they tried the neural handshake. Asking around didn’t get me much answers. Even Mako was tight lipped about it.  

I missed Yancy. And Raleigh. I hoped he was okay.

December 25th, 2024

Maya and I spent our Christmas Day running simulations with the Wei Tangs and the Kaidaonvskys. It wasn’t like we had much else to do. Drinking was prohibited with the attacks coming so close together. It was disappointing, because Sasha and Aleksis had some top quality vodka they wanted to share. They were Russian, of course they had vodka. We decided that after this was all over, we’d open up the bottles and drink until it was gone, toasting those who had fallen.

They were confident of their chances when it came to this plan. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they made it. They held all kinds of crazy Drift records, piloted the last Mark 1 jaeger, and had taken down several kaiju singlehandedly. I didn’t tell them about what I figured would happen. They could drink to my memory.

There was a bit of a Christmas feast for dinner in the mess hall. The food was definitely better than we were getting in LA those last few months, thanks to Hong Kong still importing a lot of goods. Maya and I sat with our crew, but the Wei Tangs came over to chat with us a bit more, mostly about plans of attack and defensive formations we could take. Our jaegers were similar, with the one glaring exception being the third arm, so they knew what Maverick could handle.

They had our backs out there, they promised, and we promised the same as we separated that night. I returned back to my room to find a video message from my father, wishing me Merry Christmas. Lydia and Lindsey were in the video as well, and I was surprised at how big my niece had gotten. I was saddened by the fact that I’d never get to meet her, but if all went well, she’d grow up in a world free of kaiju.

* * *

  _Lindsey Atwood-Watts,_

_I’m sure your mother and grandfather have told you plenty about me. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be around for you, to watch you grow and be the cool aunt I always wish I had. I’m sure you’ve learned in school about the Kaiju War and the jaegers that fought them. Maybe my name, my jaeger showed up in your books._

_I hope that you grow up in a world free of kaiju. That the biggest thing you have to worry about in high school is what you’ll wear to prom, not how well you’ve prepared for a military academy. Unless you want to go to a military academy, in which case, you have my full blessing from beyond the grave. Do what makes you happy. But also know that what makes you happy can change._

_I’ll always be watching over you, as will your father. We will always be proud of you. Kick ass, accept no substitutes and always be yourself._

_-Aunt Gemma_

* * *

 

December 31st, 2024

New Years Eve was a quiet affair. We all felt the end creeping up on us, even if the others didn’t admit it. Most of the day was spent in the simulators, practicing the run again and again, with a virtual Striker to protect. Most times, we did well. And we were getting better. Five jaegers against a single kaiju while Striker ran in, of course we did well. Sometimes one of us fell. It was usually the virtual Vulcan Specter or virtual Echo Saber, but a few times, Maverick Kestrel went down. Crimson Typhoon went down once. Cherno stood tall at the end of all of them, striding back to shore with Striker Eureka, victorious.

Maya still didn’t see it my way. She didn’t believe that we’d go down in this final fight. I wish I had her hope, but it had abandoned me somewhere between the loss of Indigo Centurion and Romeo Blue. In the Drift, I heard her beliefs that it wasn’t over until none of us were left. While that was true, I didn’t think we’d still be standing. The kaiju were constantly getting bigger.

Midnight came without any champagne or cheers. There were a few kisses to go around, two of the Wei Tangs with what I assumed were their girlfriends but I knew for a fact they were both J-Techs on Crimson Typhoon’s crew. Hu’s wife was inland somewhere, away from the coast and safer.

The Kaidanovskys shared a kiss with each other as the clock rolled over and 2024 became 2025. It was a small, chaste kiss, but the depth of emotion they had in their eyes as they gazed upon each other made me feel like I was intruding somehow, but I couldn’t quite look away. I was envious of their relationship, I realized a moment later. They had love at the end of the world, something I wouldn’t have the opportunity to find.

The head J-Tech officer in LOCCENT, Tendo Choi, called the Rangers together shortly after midnight. Australia had decommissioned Striker Eureka and were intending on keeping the jaeger, although the Marshall was still attempting to talk them out of it. Pentecost had left earlier that day, although we weren’t told where. As a result of the Australian government keeping the jaeger, a plan B had be made. Cherno Alpha, with all its armor, was chosen as the secondary bomb carrier. Everything else was the same: make sure they reached the target, no matter what.

They were nowhere near as fast, but could absorb damage like no one else could, so it made sense. We were still getting Vulcan Specter and Echo Saber, who would be moving up here on the second to prepare. Maya was looking at me through the whole conversation, and I knew she could tell that I was dropping our chances even lower.

Tendo was dismissing us, telling us to go get some rest, when the alarms sounded. Movement in the Breach.

Looked like we’d be starting 2025 with a bang.

* * *

  _Daddy,_

_I’m sorry that you  have to read this. I know how you felt when you lost Simon. Losing me won’t be any easier, even though I went down fighting. Hopefully, I saved the world, but that doesn’t make it better._

_I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me. You gave me the confidence in myself to succeed. Knowing there was someone there who would love me regardless, who would be proud of me even if I worked in a cubicle for the rest of my life, helped me accomplish a dream. Sadly, this dream killed me, but I can’t imagine a better way to go._

_Make sure Lindsey knows all the things you told me growing up. This world is hard on little girls and women, but I came out strong thanks to you. Everything I have should go to her, to make her life the best it can be. I’ve had little use for my pay these past few years, it should be enough to send her to a good college._

_I won’t be alone on the other side. Simon is waiting for me. All my fellow jaeger pilots wait too, at the best bar imaginable. I know a set of twins who will have a drink ready for me. Don’t worry, they’re not my boyfriends._

_All my love,_

_Gemma_


	10. Hong Kong Shatterdome, January 1st - 2nd, 2025

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma stresses more and more about the mission and there's little anyone can say to calm her down. The Hansens arrive at the Shatterdome and with them come conversations that were needed long ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is incredibly difficult to get the Hansens right. I feel like I've screwed it all up. It's mostly a chapter of talking, not a whole lot of action, but you all know it's coming.

The Rangers gathered in the Hong Kong LOCCENT loft as Tendo settled himself in his chair, bringing up various data feeds. The other occupants, the J-techs, moved around the seven jaeger pilots easy enough as they went about their duties.

“Category four. It’s a big one too.  Named Mutavore.  Better go suit up, Rangers, no telling where it’s headed yet. You need to be ready to launch as soon as we get a heading.” Tendo told them and with one last look at the screens, Gemma followed her co-pilot from the room.

“We’re gonna be fine.” Maya assured the younger girl as they stepped into their Conn-Pod. Gemma’s face was set with determination, but Maya knew better. They didn’t have to Drift for Maya to know what Gemma thought every time they were deployed. It was an almost constant thought for the twenty-three year old.

_“It might be a bit of a wait, ladies and gentleman. It’s moving slow. No clear destination yet, but Echo Saber and Vulcan Specter are on alert as well.”_ Tendo said from LOCCENT and Maya radioed back to let him know they had gotten the message.

“I thought the Sydney Shatterdome had been shut down. How are they still launching jaegers?” Gemma asked, keying up some data feeds on her heads-up display.

“Probably still around. They were supposed to be leaving this afternoon, I think. The Marshall was supposed to be down there, trying to get us Striker. He might have gotten authorization for the launch.” Maya replied, settling into the harness.

An hour passed, and then two and three, and Maya looked over to see Gemma dozing, leaning against her harness. Staying up til Midnight had been pushing it for the girl, since she hadn’t been sleeping well to begin with. The separation was something neither of them were used to, but Gemma had been having nightmares almost every night now. It wasn’t like they had anyone to talk to about them, not anymore. With the budget cuts, all the psychoanalysts had been dismissed.

Maya hadn’t been sleeping well either. With their simulations, they had ghost Drifted a few times and Maya woke up feeling Gemma’s fear and her hopelessness. After the first night, where Maya almost broke her hand pounding on the door to get the girl to wake up and let her in, Maya had made sure she was able to unlock the door.

_“Kaiju is now in the Solomon Sea. Expected to make landfall on Australia’s eastern coast. Stand by, Rangers. We’ll know more shortly.”_ Another hour later, Tendo updated them and Gemma jerked awake at the new voice echoing in the Conn-Pod.

“Sorry.” She muttered, blinking. Maya sighed and reached over to squeeze Gemma’s hand.

“It’s fine. We’re fine. They probably won’t even need us.” Maya said soothingly, and hoped it was true. They definitely wouldn’t be needed if Striker Eureka hadn’t been decommissioned. Vulcan Specter and Echo Saber were good teams, but with Striker their chances were even better.

_“Mutavore seems to have passed Brisbane and is angling down towards Sydney. Crimson Typhoon, we’re putting you in the air for assistance. should Vulcan Specter and Echo Saber need it. Cherno Alpha, Maverick Kestrel, you can stand down.”_ It was now a little after 7AM, and Maya was exhausted and dozing herself. They’d both probably catch hell for it, but the harness gave them the stability to sleep on your feet. Maya had done plenty of that over the years.

“Oh good. See? I was right. I’m always right, love.” Maya smiled over at Gemma, who gave her a half-hearted smile in return. Better than nothing. Perhaps she should get Gemma into bed instead of staying up to watch the deployment. But when Maya suggested as much to Gemma, the girl shook her head and stomped out of the pod as soon as the techs released her.

Maya sighed. One way or another, this war had to end soon. Gemma wasn’t going to last much longer with the way she was bottling everything up.

Back in LOCCENT, Gemma was watching the feeds, still in her drivesuit. Maya didn’t bother trying to get the girl to get out of it. She’d wait, like she always did, until the kaiju was dead.

In Sydney, observation helicopters and news helicopters watched as Mutavore slowly rose from the water, angling towards the city. They had a mostly built wall to protect them, as well as two jaegers at the ready. The kaiju wouldn’t be going far, Maya felt certain.

Except Echo Saber was no match for the massive kaiju, and Mutavore ripped the jaeger damn near in two. Vulcan Specter only gave it a little trouble before they were reduced to a ball of flame in the bay. Mutavore moved on towards the wall, roaring.

“Get us in the air, Tendo.” Gemma ordered, running from the room, no doubt back to the Shatterdome bay to get back into the Conn-Pod. Maya followed, ignoring Tendo’s protestations. Gemma was right. Crimson Typhoon would need some back up. Lots of people were going to die if that kaiju breached the wall, and hadn’t Sydney suffered enough?

In the drivesuit room, Gemma was arguing with one of the techs about getting into the Conn-Pod again when Maya caught up to her. Helmet in her hands, the young woman was about two seconds away from hurling it at the tech when Tendo came in over the speakers in the room.

_“Maverick, you can stand down. Local military and PPDC forces in Sydney have reported that Striker Eureka is being launched.”_

Maya frowned up at the speakers. Australia had decommissioned Striker. By regulations, the jaeger would have had all of its ordinance removed and the fuel tanks purged to prepare for storage. If they were lucky, the crews would have just started clearing the fuel tanks, but it’d still be at least a half hour before they were ready for deployment.

It was still sooner than Maverick Kestrel would get there. Or Crimson Typhoon.

“That thing just ripped through two jaegers like they were paper. Striker is gonna need backup.” Gemma shouted back, and all the techs looked at the girl and then over at Maya warily. These techs had been part of Maverick Kestrel’s crew from the first deployment, and undoubtedly they noticed what Maya saw - Gemma was hanging on by a thread.

_“Orders from up high, Maverick. Striker Eureka is being fueled and will be ready to deploy in twenty minutes.”_

“You better hope that fucking wall holds.” Gemma growled, tossing her helmet aside and stomping from the room, still in her drivesuit. Maya sighed and gave the techs an apologetic look before following behind her co-pilot. They’d have to talk about this. Maya could feel her hair turning grey.

Back in LOCCENT, Gemma was watching the video feeds of the event carefully, a scowl on her face. Maya did her best to stay out of everyone’s way, and they watched in real time as Striker Eureka was swarmed by techs, checking all the systems and bringing the jaeger online. Another video feed was streaming from the drivesuit room, and both Hansens had just stepped in to suit up.

Herc was grayer than Maya remembered the last time she saw him.  Had more lines on his face. It had only been six months, but he looked years older. No less handsome though. It looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days. Why bother, right? They had been decommissioned, no point in keeping to regulations anymore.  Their olive green drivesuits went on quickly and they hurried into their Conn-Pod.

_“Striker Eureka command crew secure. Ready for deployment, LOCCENT.”_ Herc’s voice came over the speakers and a camera flicked on inside the Conn-Pod. Herc on the right, Chuck on the left, and both wore almost identical faces of determination.

_“Roger, Striker Eureka. Prepare for neural handshake.”_

Both men occupied themselves during the countdown by starting up Striker’s various systems. Running lights, life support, weapons, they all flashed green on the display in the Hong Kong LOCCENT. Maya found herself tapping her fingers on the leg of her drivesuit.

Striker Eureka was still inside the decommissioned Sydney Shatterdome, and now they watched it move on the launch pad as it rolled across Scramble Alley and towards the bay doors.

_“Be advised, Striker Eureka. Kaiju has breached the wall. It’s moving into populated areas.”_   
_“What, did no one get the evac orders?”_   
_“There weren’t any given.”_   
_“You’re goddamn joking, right?”_

_“Let’s get in there before anyone else dies.”_ Striker moved out of the Shatterdome and into the shallow waters just out the bay doors, where it quickly lived up to its reputation as the fastest jaeger built.

Maya glanced at her co-pilot, who had apparently turned into a statue. The only movement from the blonde girl was her occasional blinking. Maya knew Gemma was worried about the Hansens. She always had been. After their other classmates had died, after everyone else had died, Gemma had always been more nervous when the Hansens were deployed.

“I don’t even think the bastard sees us. C’mon, let’s get in this.” Chuck said, and thanks to a helicopter camera, they all got to see Striker rocket forward and catch the kaiju with a blow to the underside of the head. A left hook caught Mutavore on the other side shortly after the first blow. Striker Eureka was a lethal killing machine. This wouldn’t last long.

Striker grappled with the kaiju for a few seconds, slamming it into a building. Maya hissed as civilians hurried from the roof. What the fuck were they doing up there in the first place? Another blow from the jaeger sent Mutavore reeling, and Striker took two steps back and moved its arms to its side. Plates slid away from the chest, revealing Striker Eureka’s six missile launchers.

The Hansens fired their full load and the missiles worked exactly as they were designed, burrowing through the thick plates on the kaiju and exploding inside the creature. Mutavore cried out and fell backwards. That’s when Striker pulled out their final weapons, a set of blades on each hand. The engineers called them Sting Blades and they lashed out twice at the kaiju. It fell to the ground and didn’t get back up.

Striker advanced on the kaiju, leaning down to examine it closely. It wasn’t exactly necessary, just a habit from human pilots.

_“Kaiju down, LOCCENT.”_

_“Job well done, gentlemen. Return to base as soon as possible.”_

_“Wonder if the world realizes how much they need us now.”_

_“Wouldn’t count on it.”_

Maya breathed a sigh of relief as she watched the jaeger turn and make its way back towards the Sydney Shatterdome. Hopefully, the Australian government would allow the jaeger to come to Hong Kong. The wall was useless. We needed to go on the offensive.

“You two go get some rest. Marshall Pentecost will be back tomorrow. He’ll want to get the plan laid out for all the Rangers.” Tendo said to both women, still focused on his work. The engagement was over, but he still had to recall Crimson Typhoon and monitor the jaeger bay as the jaegers were placed back into standby mode.

Maya reached over and gently guided Gemma out of the room and back towards their drivesuit room to get their gear off. It was early morning now. The techs were just as tired as the pilots, and with Gemma’s adrenaline wearing off, she just stood there as they were stripped out of their suits.

Back in her normal clothing, the two of them went towards their rooms. Maya wished there was room in there for her as well, but the beds were small, really made for one person. Gemma would sleep a few hours at least, before a nightmare woke her up.

“Get some rest, love. I want to talk to you later.” Maya pulled the younger woman into a hug and watched her as she disappeared into the room. Maya went to hers next door and collapsed into bed, fully dressed. After being up all night, Maya fell asleep quickly, her booted feet dangling off the edge of the bed.

* * *

 

A little after two PM, Gemma was awake and in the kwoon, working her way through the Bushido forms. She had learned quickly that no one came in here much and it was an ideal place to work up a sweat and think about things for a while.

She had excellent control and was only getting better, and her hanbō didn’t waver in the slightest, despite the whirlwind in her thoughts.

_Two more jaegers down. This plan better work. Form 32. We can’t lose anyone else, not if these things are getting bigger. We’re going to die, it doesn’t matter what Maya thinks. Form 33. Striker took that thing down without an issue. They’ll make it. Cherno Alpha will make it. Those two are immortal. The rumors were probably right, they sold their soul to the devil their jaeger is named from.  Form 34. Crimson Typhoon has amazing discipline. They’ll make it. They’re brave, intelligent. Have a life to live beyond this. Form 35. I have a life to live after this. I don’t want to die. But we’re going to. They’re all better than me. I don’t want to die. I don’t want -_

“Oh. We didn’t realize anyone else would be in here.” Gemma was pulled from her thoughts when two people moved into the room. She didn’t recognize them, but they were both dressed for sparring.

“No, its fine. I’m done. All yours, gentlemen.” Gemma put her hanbō back in the stand that held the rest of them and gathered her boots and shirt, leaving the two men to use the room as they saw fit.

“Gemma! There you are. You’re not gonna believe what I just heard.” Maya found Gemma in the hallway leading towards their room. Gemma turned to face her copilot, brushing hair out of her eyes. It was getting too long again. That was the only problem with short hair. Had to keep trimming it.

“What’s up?” Gemma asked, sticking her hands in her pockets. She was sweaty and wanted a shower, but Maya seemed excited about something.

“Rumor has it that Raleigh is coming back.” Maya said, pulling Gemma out of the middle of the hallway. They leaned against the wall, close enough to where they could speak quietly.

Gemma stared at Maya. Raleigh? The Marshall had dismissed him from the Jaeger Program years ago. But with Gipsy Danger in the bay, getting a pilot who knew her was a smart movie.

“Are they putting him in Gipsy? Who’s his co-pilot?” Gemma said and Maya shook her head.

“I don’t know. I just overheard Tendo talking to Mako about it when I was looking for you. The Marshall left Sydney and went to Alaska to go find him.” Maya replied quietly, looking around to make sure they weren’t overheard.

Gemma was honestly surprised that Raleigh was going to come back in the first place. After how his brother died, would he be able to Drift with anyone else? As far as Gemma knew, there had only been one other person to get a new co-pilot. Hercules Hansen had taken his son as a co-pilot after Scott was dismissed for reasons she still didn’t know. But Raleigh lost his in a traumatic way…

“We need all the help we can get. I hope whoever gets in the Conn-Pod with him is just as good as he is.” Gemma said, thinking about who would be around to hop into the jaeger with him. She wasn’t aware of anyone who fit the bill, but the last few Academy classes did produce a few people capable of being Rangers, but they didn’t have jaegers to put them in. Hopefully, Raleigh would be compatible with one of them.

“Well, he’ll be here tomorrow. I suppose we’ll find out then, won’t we? We have a week or so until the next kaiju. The Marshall is gonna have to move fast.” Maya shrugged and Gemma felt a sliver of anxiety. The kaiju were coming faster and faster. She was right, the Marshall was cutting it pretty close.

“I’ll be ready. I’m gonna go shower.” Gemma nodded up the hall towards her door. Maya pushed off the wall and followed Gemma towards the room.

“Mind if I come sit with you? Got something I’d like to talk to you about.” Maya asked and it was Gemma’s turn to shrug as she opened the heavy door and stepped into her room. She knew the conversation that was coming. They’d had it before.

The showers in their rooms were little more than alcoves into the wall with some plumbing and a drain in the floor, but on day two here in Hong Kong, Gemma had attached a line across it to hang a curtain, since she was tired of cleaning up the water that sprayed everywhere. She pushed the curtain aside now and turned the taps to get the hot water flowing. Unless she was careful, the water was either ice cold or boiling hot, and it took some adjusting to get it to a comfortable temperature to shower in.

“I know you’re worried about me. About where my head’s at. You don’t need to. I can do my job.” Gemma said as she stripped down, tossing her clothing into the pile at the foot of her bed. She’d take care of it later.

“But I do. Gemma, it’s not healthy. I….I wish I could make you see that we’ll come through this just fine. We have the best jaeger teams on our side. If we can get Striker Eureka, and I’ve got no doubt that after their performance in Sydney, we’ll get him, this will be a piece of cake.” Maya replied, sitting on the bed as Gemma stepped under the water

Maya was always so optimistic. She was right, though. Cherno Alpha, Crimson Typhoon - they were great. And with Striker Eureka, things would probably go well. She and Maya were good too, having made it this far. But out of all of the remaining teams, they were easily the weakest. The Wei Tang triplets were practically the same person. The Kaidanovskys had damn near unwavering Drift scores. And for as much as they fought, the Hansens worked well together in the Drift.

Maya was an excellent pilot with a mind for combat situations. But Gemma...she didn’t bring much to the partnership except her determination to win, to save lives. Apparently that was all it took for Maya, but Gemma felt like it wasn’t enough. It wouldn’t be enough.

“I really hope you’re right.” Gemma told her, rubbing shampoo through her hair. She wasn’t going to waste her breath explaining her side to Maya. Not when she’d done it before, and not when Maya saw her mind every time they Drifted.

The only thing that would change her mind is if it actually happened. If the Breach closed and they survived.

“It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy, Gemma. Keep thinking like this, and it’ll come true. And I really don’t want that. Have a little optimism.” Maya said, annoyance in her voice. Gemma shrugged and rinsed her hair.

“Keep thinking what? That we’re going to be mauled to death by a kaiju? Statistically speaking, it’ll happen. I’m not trying to get myself killed, you know.” Gemma left out the part that she was just preparing herself for the inevitable. Taking care of the rest of her shower routine, Gemma sighed irritably at the strange positions she had to contort herself into to shave her legs in the tiny space.

“Statistically speaking, we should never have been Drift compatible.” Maya retorted and Gemma frowned in the shower. Of course she was right. Maya was always right about this stuff.

“You know, I still wonder why we are. We’re from two completely different backgrounds. Two entirely different people. Not blood related at all.” Gemma said, rinsing off one last time before turning off the taps.

“I’ve said it before. We’re old souls, you and I. Knew each other in a past life. And we’re not so different after all. We both want the same things, generally. Might as well be related.”

Grabbing the towel hanging on the hook by the shower, Gemma toweled off quickly and wrapped it around her to go find some clean clothing.

“I don’t know. You don’t like sweet tea.” Gemma poked through her folded clothing and found what she was looking for. She didn’t really bother with her uniform, not anymore. None of the other Rangers did. It wasn’t like the PPDC was coming around doing inspections anymore. Still, her cargo pants were comfortable and didn’t look odd with her boots, which she was used to wearing now. Sandals and sneakers were foreign to her. She pulled on a dark green henley over a black camisole and used the towel to dry her hair a bit more.

“I did say generally, didn’t I? I don’t understand your taste for that abomination that you call tea, but there are other things. Love for the color green, for example. We’re both cat people. The beach was fun for us until the kaiju showed up. We both want families one day.” Maya continued to list things that made them similar while Gemma threw the towel into the laundry pile and looked for her comb.

“We also seem to have a thing for Hansens, although I’ll admit, you got a little farther with yours.” Maya grinned and then gestured to the chair at the small desk. “Take a seat, I’ll trim your hair for you. Let me go get my scissors.”

Maya hopped off the bed and left the small bedroom. Gemma dropped into the desk chair with a sigh.

She didn’t have a thing for Chuck, not anymore. She worked that out of her system a while back. He was young, immature, _even more handsome than he was back at the Academy,_ and it wasn’t something Gemma was interested in. Maya could have her fun with the older Hansen if she wanted, but Chuck wasn’t going to happen.

Maya came back, a small black pouch in her hands, and after she draped a towel around Gemma’s chest and shoulders, she trimmed the blonde strands back into shape.

“They’ll be here tomorrow, you know. I hope you’re not going to hide from Chuck this time.” Maya said once she was finished, brushing Gemma’s neck off and unwrapping the towel. Gemma kept her back turned and fetched the small broom and dustpan to sweep the floor.

“I wasn’t hiding. We’re adults, Maya, I think we can act like it.” Gemma said, ignoring the skeptical sound Maya made as she dumped the dustpan into the garbage.

“Sure. Well, let’s go get some supper, shall we? Maybe run a sim or two before bed.”

* * *

 

_There wasn’t anyone left. Gemma treaded water as she looked around and saw the burning remains of jaegers surrounding her. Maverick was torn to pieces. Cherno was a ball of flame. Crimson Typhoon had been crushed. Striker Eureka was missing the Conn-Pod. Gipsy Danger was missing her left arm and had a gaping hole where her right side pilot should be._

_The waters were cold, but the smoke was searing her lungs. The waters were not the crystal blue the should be, but the slightly luminescent blue that was kaiju blood. She could feel it burning her skin as she struggled to swim towards shore._

_Bodies floated past her - Jin was upside down in the water, his red drivesuit blackened from flames. Sasha had no color on her face save for the red of her lipstick, her bleached hair floating free from the braids. Aleksis was nowhere to be seen, and that was wrong. Those two would die together or not at all._

_On a piece of a jaeger floating in the water, someone stood, and Gemma tried to reach them, but she could feel hands grasping at her legs in the water, pulling her down._

_Looking down, she could see faces in the water. Bruce. Chell. Yancy. The called to her, telling her to join them underneath the ocean._

_She couldn’t join them though. She could still hear it, in the distance, the kaiju rampaging through the city. She had to fight. Had to help._

_Gemma’s head slipped underneath the waves and for a minute, the cold water was a sweet relief to the heat of the flames, but above she could hear her name being called. Fighting to surface again, Gemma worked harder to reach the person standing above the wreckage._

_“Gemma!”_

_She knew that voice, knew the face, knew the hand reaching towards her, to save her from the wreckage. She reached for the hand, stretching as far as she could -_

Gemma woke to the sound of her morning alarm. Her blanket was tangled around her legs and the room was almost uncomfortably cold. Groaning, Gemma untangled herself from the blanket and climbed out of bed, glad that her feet were in socks at least. It was almost as bad as being back in Anchorage.

She wished for one night free of nightmares, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen, not anytime soon. At least this one didn’t wake her up in the middle of the night, like some had.

Gemma ran her comb through her short hair quickly to work the bedhead from it, and then dressed quickly. Maya would be over in a moment to go grab breakfast and then they had a simulation planned with Crimson Typhoon.

Maya knocked on the door just as Gemma was lacing up her boots. The older woman let herself in and Gemma looked up and gave her a smile as a greeting.

“Looks like you slept alright last night.” Maya commented and Gemma shrugged and stood up from her chair.

“Yeah, I guess.” Gemma didn’t tell her about the nightmares. Sometimes they came up in the Drift, although Maya always avoided chasing them, and they’d talk later. Sometimes they didn’t, and Gemma had no intention of worrying her copilot with it. Nightmares were commonplace now. After staring death in the face, it was hard to avoid.

The simulation went well, even though it lasted longer than they had anticipated. The program spit out a kaiju that made the two Mark Four jaegers chase after it, and while both were reasonably agile, neither were fast. It was well after lunch when they left the simulator rooms. Dripping with sweat from the exertion of pushing their jaeger, they agreed to take a shower and rest before they made it out to find something to eat.

Gemma showered and changed into clean clothing. Thankfully, short hair dried quicker and she was able to flop down on her bed without worrying about soaking her pillow through. No doubt Maya would already be asleep, so Gemma did the same, dozing off for a few hours until her stomach rumbled, demanding food.

Running a hand through her hair to re-arrange it, she pulled on her purple sweater, noting that it was a bit baggier than she remembered it being when she made it. Perhaps she had left it hanging too long? She wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t fix by soaking it in some water and then laying it flat, shaping it to its proper dimensions again. She didn’t have any pins here, but she could probably find something somewhere to help.

Meeting up with Maya, they made it into the mess hall for an early supper. It was mostly full, although the Kaidanovskys were gone, as were the triplets. Judging by the chatter though, Cherno Alpha was out in the harbor, running drills. Maya and Gemma talked with the techs sitting at their table, and Gemma was reminded of high school, with every clique at their separate table. She herself had stuck around with the JROTC kids, occasionally bouncing over to talk with a few other friends she had about homework and such.

After dinner, Maya and Gemma were making their way back to their room when an announcement was made.

Striker Eureka had arrived. As had the Marshall.

The two of them made their way into the upper level of the jaeger bay and found Striker Eureka off to the side of Scramble Alley. The techs were busy prepping the jaeger for storage and Gemma looked over the jaeger for a minute. Striker Eureka was truly awe-inspiring, even with how advanced Maverick was. It wasn’t the tallest, or the heaviest, but it had done the most damage while taking the least. Things would have gone a lot differently early on in the war if this piece of technology had been available.

A voice drew her attention down towards the floor, calling for the Hansens. Looks like the Marshall had returned and Gemma couldn’t help but smile when she recognized one of the two trailing after him. It was true. Raleigh was back.

“C’mon. Let’s go say hi.” Maya pulled Gemma towards the staircase that led to the floor, and they ducked around all the technicians and engineers as they made their way over towards the Marshall.

“Of course, the Marshall saves the best for last.” Maya interrupted the conversation smoothly as the two women came forward. “Maverick Kestrel, Mark Four out of Los Angeles. He may not look like much, but he’s got it where it counts.”

“Mr. Becket, Rangers Maya Cadle and Gemma Watts.” The Marshall introduced, and Gemma gave Raleigh a warm smile.

“It’s been a while, Raleigh. Good to see you again.” Gemma said, turning her attention to Hercules next. “And you, Mr. Hansen.”

“You too, Miss Watts. Maya.”

Gemma looked down to see a dog pawing at her leg with a big dopey grin on its face and she knelt down to pet him. 

“You must be Max.” The conversation continued above her as she pet the dog, who rolled onto his back to let her rub his stomach.

“Wait. Running point on what? You haven’t told me what I’m doing here, you know.” Raleigh spoke and Gemma turned her attention back to the conversation, keeping her hand moving on Max’s stomach. This was news, although not entirely unsurprising. The Marshall was a man who kept his cards close.

“We’re going for the Breach, Mr. Becket. We’re going to strap a 2,400 pound thermonuclear warhead to Striker’s back, detonating the equivalent of one point two million tons of TNT. And you and the three other jaegers will be running defense.” Gemma had heard the plan before. It wasn’t the best, wasn’t ideal, but it was all they had these days. In theory, it would work.

“I thought we were the resistance. Where’d you get something that big?” Raleigh asked and Gemma gave Max one last firm pat on his belly and stood up. The dog whined softly and then began gnawing on Gemma’s boot. She didn’t mind too much. Raleigh was over here, asking the important questions.

“See the Russians back there? They can get us anything. Herc, shall we?” Gemma stepped out of the way, next to Mako as the Marshall moved away and Hercules followed. Gemma gave Maya a look. It wasn’t surprising that they were having to go through other channels to get supplies now. Their funding was pretty much gone.

“I’ll show you to your jaeger now.” Mako said, turning away from Raleigh to walk down the bay towards Gipsy Danger. Did Raleigh know Gipsy was here?

“Miss Mori, will you give me a minute?” Raleigh asked and then hurried after the Marshall. Gemma watched him go and then turned her attention back to the dog at her feet, who was looking up at her expectantly.

“What? I don’t have a treat for you. Maybe later, I’ll sneak something from the mess hall, hmm? You’d like that.” Gemma leaned over to pet the dog again. Max barked twice, loudly.“Max! Come here.” Gemma had been waiting for him to speak up. It wasn’t his thing to sit and wait and Max left her and ran towards Chuck.

Chuck had been looking at Raleigh, but as Becket followed Mako towards his jaeger, Chuck turned his attention to Gemma.

“Go talk to him. I’ll be back.” Maya hissed and then left, and Gemma sighed and moved towards the younger Hansen.

“It’s been a while.” She said, watching Chuck take hold of the dog’s leash as he stood. Still in his drivesuit, she noticed. The jaeger engagement had been yesterday, why was he still suited up?

“Must’ve missed you in LA.” He replied and they stared at each other for a moment. This was exactly how she figured this conversation would go.

“Wasn’t feeling well. Welcome to Hong Kong. You should get out of your drivesuit. Should still be dinner around, if you’re hungry.” Gemma turned her attention to the jaeger beside them. She couldn’t see much of it, but there wasn’t any visual damage from the fight with Mutavore.

“You’ve been doing all right for yourself.” Chuck said, bringing her attention back to him. She shrugged and looked over at Maverick Kestrel. The maroon paint was scratched from their engagements. After a while, Gemma and Maya had decided not to have it repainted every time. Battle scars.

The only thing they kept painted was the black band around their left arm.

“Had some close calls. It’s good seeing you again, Chuck.” Gemma started to walk away when the dog barked. She turned back to look and Chuck had a grin on his face.

“Be seeing you around, Gem.” Chuck nodded and turned his attention back to his dog and Gemma walked away, a little faster than normal. She tried to ignore the little flutter in her chest at his smile. Men with dogs were dangerous.

She wasn’t sure where Maya had gotten off to, so she found her way to kwoon, to run some drills and wear herself out before bed. It didn’t help her clear her mind, not anymore. But it was relaxing all the same. After she ran through every drill she could think of twice, she called it a night and left the room, hoping to rinse off and maybe re-read one of her books before bed. She still hadn’t seen Maya but that wasn’t exactly unusual, Maya had been much chattier of late, always talking with the techs or with the Rangers.

As she waited for the elevator at the end of the hall, she overheard her name. Avoiding turning her head, she did her best to listen in on the conversation.

“Hopefully, this is over soon. Poor kid is losing it.”

“How many friends has she had to watch die? You’d lose it too. You know how close the Rangers are.”

“She’s still a kid."

“She’s older than the Hansen kid."

“By a whole two years. But age doesn’t really matter. She just can’t handle the stress.”

“Why? Because she’s young or because she’s a woman?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Gemma didn’t get to hear the rest of the conversation, the elevator had arrived. It wasn’t anything she hadn’t heard before. All the two-women teams got some sort of scrutiny. People still didn’t believe that women were capable of fighting. She knew better, of course.

She checked Maya’s room as she passed it, but the woman wasn’t there, so Gemma continued on to her bedroom.

Laying on her bed, part of her was annoyed at being called a kid. She was twenty-three. Still pretty young, in the big scheme of things, but combat had a way of making you grow up faster than you wanted to. Hearing your friends last agonized breaths over the comms while you were still fighting the monster that had killed them wasn’t something anyone should hear, let alone someone her age.

But it was almost over, one way or another. If she died, then hopefully the world continued spinning as it should. If she lived, well, she could come to terms with what she had seen and heard. Either way, she wouldn’t be going into this alone.

Maya entered the room some time later and Gemma sat up, rubbing her eyes. She had been falling asleep just laying there. At least the beds were comfortable.

“I figured you’d be with Chuck.” She said, sitting herself in the desk chair. Gemma shrugged.

“Were you with Mr. Hansen?” Gemma asked and Maya shook her head.

“No, I was checking up on Maverick. He’s been sitting a while, I wanted to make sure he’d be ready to go.” Maya replied and Gemma sighed. She should have probably been around for that conversation, but Maya hadn’t told her that was her plan.

“Don’t worry about it, I wanted you to talk to Chuck.” Maya waved her hand dismissively at the expression on Gemma’s face. Gemma laid back on her bed with a huff.

“Why? There’s nothing there anymore. We’re colleagues now.” Gemma tucked her feet underneath the blanket, raising her knees so she could hide her face from Maya.

“Right. Well, you should get along with your colleagues, and if I recall, you’re still upset with him.” Maya replied, standing and moving the chair so she could see Gemma. Gemma scowled at the other woman and turned on her bed to face the wall.

“I’m not. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted, we weren’t dating.” Gemma insisted and shouted in protest when Maya leaned over and turned her on her back again.

“Except you still got upset when you saw him with a girl on his arm that wasn’t you. You’re still carrying that torch, even if you don’t realize it. How did you feel when you saw him today?” Maya stood over Gemma who frowned and looked away.

“It was nice to see him, sure. We haven’t seen him since we left the Academy.” Gemma replied, as evenly as she could. She didn’t want Maya to take her tone as something it wasn’t. She wasn’t carrying a torch, damn it. And what the hell did carrying a torch mean anyways?

“No. You haven’t. I saw him when they were in LA a few months ago. And he was looking for you.” Maya snapped, her tone sharp. She sighed and sat back down, propping her legs up on the bed.

“Listen, I’m just trying to save you from the same mistake I made. Pining for a man for twenty years isn’t a way to go about life.” Maya said, this time in a more gentle tone. Gemma turned to face her copilot, curious. She had seen glimpses of her relationships in the Drift, but they hadn’t really talked about it much.

“How old were you when you fell in love with him?” Gemma asked, tucking her arm underneath the pillow. Maya leaned back and laced her fingers together behind her head.

“I was sixteen when we met, but it wasn’t long after that. I had just moved back to England, started school. We joined the British Army together. We both did military police, but eventually he moved on to the Special Air Service. For a while, we were together, but he didn’t feel like it was working out. I left the service a little after that, became a cop.” Maya began her story and Gemma listened quietly.

“I still loved him, you know? But it wasn’t right of me to hold him back. He found another woman, Maggie, fell in love with her. Got married, the whole deal. Maggie and I were good friends. She was a lovely woman.  She couldn’t have kids of her own, so I was a surrogate for them. Maybe I shouldn’t have. It made me realize even more that I’d never have what I wanted with Mark.” Maya leaned forward, resting her forearms on her thighs.

“But that’s not important. You need to go talk to him. Maybe there still is something between you two. Maybe not. But apparently you don’t have much time left to figure out.” Maya said and Gemma rolled her eyes. Her attempt at changing the conversation topic had not gone unnoticed. She wasn’t sure why she ever tried, Maya always knew. And even worse, she was right.

“Fine. If this goes badly, you owe me a bottle of bourbon.” Gemma climbed out of bed.

“Of course. We’ll drink it together, I imagine. Go. His room is at the end of the hall on the right.” Maya reached over and straightened Gemma’s hair and clothes. Gemma stepped into her boots and leaned down to lace them up.

“Don’t look so nervous. If anything, you can play with the dog.” Maya shoved Gemma towards the door.

Walking down the hallway, Gemma chewed on her lip and tried to think about what she’d say. She used to be good at talking.

She found herself outside Chuck’s door sooner than she anticipated and she stood there for a minute, wondering what she was doing there. With a sigh, she reached up and knocked on the metal. Through the door, she heard muffled barking and a shout, probably to the dog to quiet down.

The door creaked open and Chuck stood in front of her, cargo pants slung low on his hips and a towel draped around his bare shoulders. Gemma blinked a few times, staring at his chest before tearing her eyes away and up towards his face. She’d seen him without a shirt before, but it had been a long time, and he’d taken good care of himself.

“Gemma. Is there a problem? I wasn’t expecting you.” He said and Gemma smiled at him.

“No, I was just coming to chat. Maybe play with the dog a bit.” She replied and he stepped aside, waving her inside. Gemma moved in past him and Max danced around her feet. She kneeled down to pet him.

“He’s already spoiled enough.” Chuck replied, closing the door and moving away. The air in the room smelled a little bit like citrus, but since it appeared that he had just stepped out of the shower, it could be his body wash. Whatever it was, it smelled nice.

“I bet. Look at you. So cute. Just want some belly rubs, don’t you?” Gemma scratched at the animal’s stomach with both hands, Max going limp beneath them, tongue dropping out of his mouth.

Chuck gave a laugh and shook his head at the dog and Gemma watched him pull on a t-shirt.

“You’re pathetic.” He said to the dog, coming over to sit on the floor by them. He started petting Max too, and Gemma settled into a more comfortable position on the floor.

“Nice job with Mutavore.” Gemma said after a minute and Chuck shrugged. She supposed she shouldn’t expect him to be humble about it, even though the kaiju had taken down two jaegers and the wall before they got to it.

“If every jaeger was built like Striker, we’d have less of an issue with the damn kaiju.” Chuck replied, tugging on one of Max’s paws. The dog barked and rolled to his feet, crouching low. Chuck reached out and tapped underneath the bulldog’s jaw and Max lunged out for the hand as Chuck pulled it away.

“Does he bite you when you do that?” Gemma watched the bulldog’s mouth close around Chuck’s wrist. With the other hand, Chuck tickled his belly, and Max turned his attention to that hand.

“Nah. It’s just how he plays. He’s gotten me a few times on accident, but now he knows better.” Chuck continued to play with the dog and Gemma tried not to be alarmed at the sounds the dog was making. It sounded aggressive, but Chuck would know more about the dog than she would. She knew more about cats than dogs anyhow

“You and Maya...doing pretty well for yourself too. Maverick Kestrel’s got that Liquid Software System, doesn’t he?” Chuck asked and Gemma felt pleased that he knew about all the different systems that Maverick had.

“Yep. Same as Crimson Typhoon. It works well with the Mark Fours, apparently. Had some trouble initially with the K-stunner, but the techs sorted that out, rewiring our grounding.” Gemma replied, happy to talk shop if that was all he was willing to do.

“I remember that. Damn near crippled Romeo Blue on your first drop.” Max decided to avoid the hands toying with him altogether and jump into Chuck’s lap, paws pressing on his chest.

“Yeah, it wasn’t fun. But they rewired it so most of the extra charge doesn’t escape into the water, instead cycling back into a battery for our systems to use again. We haven’t had an issue since.” Gemma watched as Chuck settled the dog into his lap, where he rolled over to present his stomach. Chuck rolled his eyes and sighed but gave in and ran his fingers over Max’s belly.

“You didn’t come here to talk about jaegers though, did you?” Chuck asked and Gemma looked up to meet his eyes for the first time since she stepped into the room.

“Well, not really. I came here to see how you were doing. It’s been a while since we really talked.” Gemma shrugged and looked away.

“Not a lot has changed. Life’s been pretty boring outside deployments.” Chuck said casually, and a little bit of annoyance bubbled up in Gemma.

“Tabloids don’t seem to think so. You’ve been on tv a few times.” Gemma had actually only seen him on TV the one time, but she figured as popular as he had been, being young and handsome, there were a few more times they had mentioned him.

Chuck scowled at her, ushering the dog off his lap and standing up. Gemma climbed to her feet as well. Max wandered over to the corner where a large pillow rested and settled himself on the pillow with an annoyed groan.

“They love talking about us. None of their goddamn business. It’s bad enough the techs love to gossip.” Chuck said irritably and Gemma rolled her eyes. She had mostly gotten used to the gossip, especially when Maya found a magazine in LA that had Gemma and one of her dates on the cover, speculating if they were secretly married. It also claimed that Maya was jealous of her younger co-pilot and was dating both the Gage twins to spite her.

Trash, but it was still out there.

“I was just saying. Can’t have been too boring. You had a few dates, apparently.” Gemma didn’t mention the comparison to Scott Hansen. There was a reason why he wasn’t around, and she didn’t want to stir anything else up (although she was curious).

“What, are you jealous? I know I’m handsome, but an ocean was a bit far for me to go to take you out.” Chuck leaned against his desk and Gemma frowned at him.

“I’m not jealous. We weren’t together or anything like that.” If it was possible, Chuck looked even more annoyed at Gemma’s words.

“I’d believe you if you hadn’t sent your co-pilot in here to make sure things were okay between us.” Chuck said and Gemma narrowed her eyes. Maya came in here to talk with Chuck? About whatever nonexistent relationship they had?

“I didn’t send her anywhere. And there isn’t an us, obviously. Not when you’ve got actresses and models hanging off you.” Gemma retorted, sounding more bitter than she intended. Chuck arched an eyebrow at her and smirked. She glared back at him. Why had she even bothered?

“Now I know you’re jealous. Must have bothered you to see another pretty blonde thing standing next to me instead of you. Now ask yourself why that bothered you.” Chuck pushed off the desk and came closer, still wearing that infuriating smirk. Gemma held her ground, staring back at him with the same intensity she had been before.

Was it ‘Everyone Prove Gemma Wrong Day’? He was absolutely right and it was aggravating as hell. Why did he care how she felt anymore? He’d obviously moved on. And so had she. He had his models and actresses and Gemma had the few guys she met in bars and the occasional J-Tech. She wasn’t jealous, and even if she was, she wasn’t about to admit it to him, of all people.

“You’re an asshole, Chuck Hansen.” Gemma said instead of telling him what he wanted to hear. He grinned wider.

“But I’m right.” He replied and Gemma groaned and turned away, heading towards the door. This wasn’t going anywhere. It was stupid to even try.

“I’m going to bed.” She told him, stomping towards the door. His hand closed around her wrist and this time, she planted her feet, preventing him from pulling her towards him. She wasn’t falling for that shit again. She turned her head to glare at him a bit more and found a different expression on his face. It wasn’t the cocky smirk anymore.

“Maya was right, you’re shit at listening these days. The Gemma I met at the Academy had an ear for anyone who needed to talk.” Chuck released her and Gemma crossed her arms, looking away. Something about his expression was putting her on edge and she didn’t care for the feeling. And fuck, was his voice trembling or was she imagining that?

“I’m a bit out of practice. All my friends are dead.” Gemma said heavily and Chuck threw his hands on his hips.

“All of them? That hurts, Gem.”

“I’m not sure we’d be considered friends. Typically, you don’t let friends feel you up on their co-pilot’s bed.” She replied and Chuck’s lips twitched upwards and his hands dropped to his sides.

“Probably right. Then what are we?” He asked. Gemma shrugged. Honestly, she had no clue. Five years was a long time. What did it even matter?

“Colleagues? Rangers? People? What do you want to hear? I’m exhausted and I really don’t feel like spending my final days dancing around this issue.” Gemma sighed wearily and stared expectantly up at him. He narrowed his eyes at her, looking mostly confused.

“Final days? The plan’s gonna work. We’ll drop the bomb on the Breach and come back to the ‘dome to get so drunk we’ll forget there ever was anything like a kaiju outside of movies.” Chuck reached over and grabbed her shoulders in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture. It was odd, coming from the Hansen who was generally rude on his best days and it left her feeling confused.

“Yeah, you might. The others too. You’re all great pilots. Maya too. So much better than I am. Everyone is better than me. I’m just….some kid from Georgia who got this far on a wish and a prayer.” Gemma said bitterly, feeling tears prick at her eyes. She reached up and pressed her palms into her eyes to stop them. She hadn’t cried in years, she wasn’t about to now.

“Are you kidding me? The only reason why you’re still alive is because you’re better than the others. It’s got nothing to do with the jaeger and everything to do with the pilot. I’ve got far more issues with the has-been the Marshall dragged in than I’ll ever have with you at my back.” Chuck told her and Gemma knew that it was too good to be true. He couldn’t got a few minutes without being abrasive on some subject.

“Raleigh is a good pilot. I’m glad he’s back. Nobody could make Gipsy move like he can.” Gemma defended and Chuck rolled his eyes. She had upped her chances at surviving this when she realized Gipsy Danger would be going into this with them.

“My point is, Gemma, that you made it this far because you’re good. I don’t do this complimenting bullshit often, don’t make me repeat it. You’re gonna make it through this.”

Gemma shook her head and smiled sadly. It was the same thing Maya had been telling her for years, and she didn’t believe it any more coming from Chuck.

“What happened to you?” Chuck asked and one hand moved up from her shoulder and settled itself on her neck, and one warm thumb started tracing patterns on her cheek. Gemma leaned into the touch and closed her eyes.

“Maybe I’m not cut out for this stuff. Not everyone is cut out to be a soldier.” She murmured and Chuck’s other hand slid across her back and pulled her against him. That was the one good thing about men, they were always warm. It was a comforting heat and she wound her hands around his waist.

“It’s almost over. And then you can go home to Georgia, with your sweet tea and your peaches and the funny way you talk.” Chuck said reassuringly, and Gemma ached to go home. She wanted to sleep in her bed, to eat her dad’s cooking, to play with Watson. Sweet tea and peaches were a plus too.

“I talk funny? Do you listen to yourself?” Gemma laughed into his chest and caught a whiff of that same citrus scent from earlier, smoothed with something that was remarkably like leather.

“Me? You’re the one who sounds like Scarlett O’Hara.” Chuck protested and Gemma pulled back a little bit to look up with him, raising an eyebrow.

“Coming from the man who sounds like Crocodile Dundee.” She shot right back and he rolled his eyes.

“That would be the only Australian film you’ve watched, wouldn’t it.” Chuck shook his head and stepped back, gesturing towards the desk chair. Gemma looked at it and moved to sit on the corner of the bed instead, knowing it was far more comfortable than the metal chair.

“It’s an 80’s movie. Came out the same year as Top Gun. Dad has all his movies organized by the year they came out. So I watched them both pretty much at the same time.” She explained, getting comfortable. Chuck shrugged and took the chair, propping his feet up on the desk.

“You were born in 2001. Why the obsession with movies twenty years before your time?”

Gemma leaned back onto the bed. It was really only wide enough to accommodate her torso but she didn’t mind her legs dangling off the edge. She still had her shoes on anyways.

“The obsession is with Top Gun, not 80’s movies. It’s part of the reason why I’m here, why our jaeger is named what it is.” Gemma told him, yawning.

“Oi, don’t fall asleep on my bed.” Chuck said, leaning over to nudge her knee and Gemma shook her head, lifting a hand to wave absently.

“I won’t.” She yawned again.

She did.

* * *

 

Maya waited patiently in her room for an hour before she went looking for Herc. The Shatterdome in Hong Kong wasn’t as large as the one in LA (leave it to the Americans to spend a ton of money to build a flashy ‘dome)  but it was still pretty big, but she found him in the jaeger bay, sitting on a few crates in front of Striker Eureka with a steaming mug of something and some paperwork in front of him.

“Your room is probably more comfortable.” She replied, propping her hip on one of the crates and swiping the mug. She took a sip and stared at him incredulously. He just laughed.

“Have it. Can’t imagine when the last time you had tea was.” He waved at her and turned back to his work and Maya took another couple of sips and hummed in pleasure. It was a little sweeter than she usually took hers, but right now she couldn't complain.

“About two years ago is when I stopped getting it. It was expensive in LA, costs just as much getting it shipped from home. I don’t much care for the Chinese teas either.” She told him and glanced down at what he was reading. It was some kind of briefing and it was a few pages in, so she likely wouldn’t understand what she was reading without some sort of explanation.

“It’s easier to get at home. I brought a stash to hold me over. You’re welcome to it.” He offered, turning another page. Maya grinned and drank a bit more.

“You may come to regret that.” She wrapped both hands around the mug and relished the warmth. She missed everything that came with having a steaming cup of tea, including the relaxation she felt with her hands around a ceramic mug.

“It’s the way to an Englishwoman’s heart, is it not?” He asked, not looking up. She arched an eyebrow anyways, smirking. Maybe Gemma wasn’t the only one with a crush, although she was entirely too old to be using that word.

“Chocolate and flowers can open a few doors too.” She replied and Herc looked up then, his blue eyes sparkling. Maya shrugged and went back to the tea. “Just letting you know.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Where’s your co-pilot?” Herc pushed aside the papers and Maya handed over the mug. It was his, after all. At least she had taken off her lipstick before coming down here. It’d be rude to leave stains all over the mug.

“With yours. Hopefully working things out. If not, I’ll need to find a bottle of bourbon. I’ll have to drink a bottle of bourbon too.” Maya sighed. Alcohol was also hard to get, and there was no way she was finding a decent quality bourbon in Hong Kong.

“That’s not going to end well.” Herc muttered, taking a mouthful of the tea before passing it back to Maya. She accepted it but just placed her hand around it again instead of taking another sip. She wanted to savor it.

“It might. I gave him a talking-to before-hand. Gemma’s not gonna be happy, but they’re both so damn clueless. I had to do something, and she wasn’t gonna listen to me.I figured he might.” She looked up at the jaeger in front of them, straining to see as much as she could. Striker was really a beautiful piece of machinery and he fit the pilots who drove him.

“You’re telling me. Been in his head for the last five years, and half of it is ‘Gemma this’ and ‘Gemma that.’. But I don’t know what I’m talking about.” Herc sighed and tapped his fingers on the crate he was resting on. Maya nodded in agreement.

“I know the feeling. ‘I’m not jealous, Maya, I swear.’ And then she gets angry the next time she sees Chuck with some new girl with blonde hair. Halfway in love with each other and she can’t admit it to herself because ‘he obviously doesn’t care, why should I? He’s stopped talking to me, he’s got a girlfriend.’” Maya did her best to imitate Gemma’s accent and did pretty well with it.

“The whole time he figured she wasn’t interested, with the way she kept insisting he wasn’t her boyfriend. Never thought to ask her why.” Herc chuckled and shook his head.

“Damn kids.” Maya replied, shaking her head as well. She drained what was left of the tea and handed the mug back to Herc.

“C’mon, I’ll make you another. Don’t have a teapot, but I’m sure we’ll survive.” Herc stood and gathered his paperwork in his free hand. Maya followed, giving one last look at the assembled jaegers before she left the bay. Five jaegers to save the world.  She believed in them, in their chances, even if Gemma didn't.

In Herc’s room, with new steaming mugs to wrap their hands around, Gemma settled into the desk chair and Herc sat on the desk itself. He had a small fridge wedged underneath the desk, something Maya was jealous of. Perks of being a senior Ranger, he called it,

It was actually really late, but the two of them, bolstered by the caffeine of the tea, talked about their co-pilots, about deployments, about the upcoming mission. It was all they really had to talk about these days. There was some not so thinly veiled attempts to flirt from both sides and both had unconsciously moved closer to each other as they talked.

“I should probably let you get to bed.” Maya finished her tea and set the mug on the desk, but she didn’t move, didn’t want to dislodge the warm hand on her thigh.

“Nobody said I had to go alone.” Herc replied and Maya grinned.

“You’re trying to be smooth, Hansen, and it’s not really working. But since you’re sharing your tea, I’m willing to let it slide.” Maya licked her lips and glanced over at Herc’s bed, neatly made up.

“I have only the best of intentions, I swear.”

“Hmm. I bet. Why don’t you take me to bed and I’ll decide for myself?” His lips curled up in a suggestive smile and he stood up, pulling Maya up with him. Their mouths met and they kissed each other hungrily, stumbling towards the bed.

Neither of them got much sleep that night.

* * *

 

_It was too hot with all the flames burning around her. Even the water was bubbling and her drivesuit wasn’t doing anything to protect her. She could feel the corrosive kaiju blood burning through it, the fumes from the burning oil and fuel from the jaegers searing her lungs._

_“Gemma!” That voice again, the one she knew. She swam towards it, ignoring the flames, even as it singed her hair. It was the only way out of here. Follow the voice. He’d help you._

_There was a body in the way, and even though it was night, the light from the flames showed her the olive green drivesuit._

_nonono, please, don’t be-_

_She turned the body over and the blank face of Chuck Hansen looked back. His blue eyes were empty and his face was pale. She watched in horror as the body sank below the water, his face the last thing she saw before he disappeared._

_“Gemma!” The voice called again. It hurt, but she had to swim towards the voice, no matter how much she wanted to give up, to sink below the water and be with all the other Rangers. She didn’t want to be the only survivor._

_There was a deafening roar from behind her and she turned around. A kaiju stood in the water, its mouth glowing an unearthly orange, and it was looking right at her. The city was at her back, helpless against the monster. It moved towards her, eyes hungry -_

Gemma bolted upright, sucking in deep lungfuls of air. The weight of an arm rolling off her chest and into her lap alarmed her and she jerked, moving the bed in the process. She looked around wildly, disoriented. The room was different, this wasn’t hers. There was someone in the bed next to her.

Chuck groaned and sat up, blinking blearily at Gemma.

“Gemma? You right?” He slurred sleepily and she stared at him for a moment, still not quite sure what was going on. Her heart was still racing and all she could see when she looked at Chuck was the paleness he had in her dream, just before he slipped under.

“Gem?” He asked again, a little more awake this time and she reached out and touched his cheek, expecting to find it cold. Instead, it was warm underneath her fingertips and she exhaled shakily. He was alive. It was just another nightmare.

“Just a dream.” She murmured, stroking his cheek. He nodded softly and allowed her to stroke his cheek.

Moving forward, she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into his chest. He made a startled sound but wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She was comforted by the beating of his heart and slowly she calmed down. It was terrifying, to think of everyone being gone, of being the only survivor.

She tilted her head up and kissed the underside of his chin. Chuck turned his head down, meeting her lips with his own and for the briefest moment, it was a soft, sweet kiss. And then Gemma got a flash of her nightmare, of Chuck sinking in the sea with dead eyes. She flinched and he paused, blinking down at her.

“You’re okay, love. Just a bad dream.” He said quietly and Gemma shook her head, reaching up to touch his face again.

“You weren’t.” She whispered, stroking his skin again. He grabbed her hands and stilled them, staring into her eyes. His eyes weren’t blank. Weren’t empty of life.

She kissed him again, taking her hands and sliding them underneath his shirt, feeling the heat that radiated from him. She traced patterns on his chest, ran her fingers across the light dusting of hair that traveled down it onto his stomach. Climbing into his lap, she nipped at his lower lip with her teeth, drawing a groan from his throat. One of his hands wrapped around her waist, holding her close, the other moving up to tangle itself in her hair.

Dragging her lips down to his neck, she sucked on his pulse point there, lightly enough to not leave a mark. His breath left him in a sharp gasp and she felt his fingers tighten in her hair. The sound, the sensation, chased away more fragments of the nightmare. The dead didn’t breathe, didn’t react.

“Fuck, Gemma.” He breathed and she pulled away, grabbing the fabric of his shirt and pulling it up. He allowed her to remove it and she started kissing her way down his chest, pressing one directly over his heart, hammering away beneath her lips.

She wanted to explain how she felt, but she couldn’t find the words. Showing him was easier. She needed to reassure herself in every way possible that he was alive, was a warm living body in front of her, and he was all too happy to let her, falling back to let her explore. Later, as they caught their breath in silence and let the sweat cool their bodies, he showed her he understood, tangling his fingers in hers to give her hand a gentle squeeze.

She could believe he knew a thing or two about nightmares and how you felt waking up from them. She had always had extremely vivid dreams, ones that stuck with her even after she woke up.

Maybe she wasn’t over him, and maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. But she still wasn’t sure where his head was at. He had never answered her earlier, about what he wanted to hear, what he wanted her to be. Laying next to him though, tucked underneath his chin with one of his arms around her waist, she had an idea of what it was.

With that realization, she made up her mind as Chuck pressed a sleepy kiss into her hair. She wasn’t letting the kaiju take this away from her. She’d lost enough.


	11. Hong Kong Shatterdome, January 2nd - 7th, 2025

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma watches Raleigh's co-pilot trials and hopes he finds someone compatible. There's a problem with Maverick Kestrel and tensions run high as things don't go according to plan. And, as usual, Maya is always right.

When Gemma woke that morning, it wasn’t due to a nightmare or the alarm waking her up. She woke up thanks to the bulldog making himself comfortable on her feet. She sat up and stared at him for a moment, and the dog just looked back, laying down and resting his head on his paws.

The clock on the desk told her it was a little after four-thirty. She’d have to get up and go take a shower if she wanted to be on time for breakfast. Raleigh’s co-pilot candidate trials were also at six AM, and she wanted to attend those as well.

Pulling her feet out from underneath the dog, she slipped out of bed, doing her best to not wake Chuck up, who was stretched out along the wall, one arm tucked underneath the pillow, the other in front of his face so that his forehead was pressed against his upper arm. She picked what clothes of hers she could find off the floor and put them on, although her bra wasn’t anywhere to be found. It was likely still in the bed somewhere. She pulled her shirt on anyways, and then snagged Chuck’s t-shirt from the floor and pulled it over as well. It was loose and hopefully would hide her lack of undergarments from anyone in the hall when she went to her room.

She was no stranger to leaving someone in bed the morning after, but this time it didn’t sit quite right with her, but she didn’t see any way for her to leave a note. She’d explain herself later if he was upset, but for now, she wanted to shower and go find some food. She was starving. Giving Max a pat on the head, she left the room, being careful to close the door as quietly as possible.

Back in her room, the rest of her clothing was tossed in her laundry pile, and she made a note to take care of that today. Chuck’s shirt was placed on her bed, after she (a little self-consciously) inhaled his scent from it. It was pleasant, manly even, and she moved into the shower, turning her music player on as she went. She felt better than she had in weeks. There was still the dark thoughts at the back of her mind but this morning she found it easier to ignore them for a while, to sing along to Southern rock while she washed up quickly.

There was still plenty of talking to be done between her and Chuck, she knew that much. But spending the night together like that had definitely been a start. She realized she had been thinking about it too long, standing under the spray of the hot water, when she heard the door open and close. Had to be Maya.

“Gem? Hurry up, we’ve got to eat quick, they’re running diagnostics from some circuitry issue someone found in the Conn-Pod.” Maya announced and Gemma turned off the water and grabbed a towel.

“You talked to Chuck yesterday, didn’t you?” Gemma said as she dressed and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Maya shrug casually, a satisfied look on her face.

“You worked things out, right?” Maya asked, picking up the t-shirt on Gemma’s bed with a smirk. Gemma snatched it away and put it back on her bed.

“Sort of. And don’t look at me like that.” Gemma retorted, eyeing her co-pilot. Peeking out from underneath her collar, just above the woman’s collarbone, was a darkened spot on the woman’s skin that wasn’t there before. Gemma looked at it pointedly and then met Maya’s eyes.

“Who’s the lucky man?” Gemma asked, but she had a feeling she already knew. It wasn’t exactly hard to guess.

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.” Maya said airily, grinning widely. Gemma laced up her boots and ran her fingers quickly through her hair to shake a bit more water out of it.

“Oh, please. C’mon, I want to see Raleigh’s trials so let’s get this over with.” Gemma nodded towards the door and Maya moved with her.

They ate quickly and made it out of the mess hall as it was filling up. They passed Mr. Hansen on his way in and Gemma rolled her eyes when Maya reached out and touched his shoulder when they were within reach. It was a brief gesture but the small smile that appeared on both their faces told Gemma all she needed to know about what happened between the two of them.

“Well, that’s not gonna be weird at all.” Gemma commented as they pulled on dark blue jumpsuits over their clothing in the drivesuit room. Maya laughed as she zipped up her suit. Their Conn-Pod was open and the techs were already inside, cables snaking across the floor.

“There’s another problem with the K-stunner wiring. We fired it up yesterday to test and it short-circuited half the relay board. We replaced it but something’s not connecting right.” Jace Page was the lead of their tech team and had been with them since the day they were assigned to Maverick Kestrel. Gemma looked at the schematics of their jaeger, zoomed in on the left side. Most of it was green, indicating that everything was combat ready, but there were a few glaring red pieces.

“That’s the battery the excess charge is stored in, correct?” Gemma asked, pointing out the large red piece, situated on their left hip.

“Yes. The problem is the relay board we had on hand isn’t compatible. It’s left from the Mark Three Restoration Project, but we couldn’t leave you without your weapon. It’ll do in a pinch, but about half the charge won’t make it into the battery. We sent a message to Sydney and to Oblivion Bay to see if there were any other boards salvageable from the other Mark Fours.” Jace continued, turning the image on the display. The Mark Three board was slightly too small for what they needed.

“Does Crimson Typhoon have a spare?” Maya asked, leaning over Gemma’s shoulder to get a closer look. If this was anything but their jaeger, Gemma would have made a comment about Maya’s age and needing glasses but this wasn’t the time for a joke.

“No. They actually burned out theirs during their drop against Kojiyama in November. Their tech team managed to build a new one, which is an option, but it’ll take a few days. Probably just as long as either Sydney or Oblivion Bay to get back to us about if they have a salvaged one. “ Jace replied and Gemma sighed. This wasn’t a good thing.

“So what do you suggest we do during the next deployment?” Maya said next and Gemma watched Jace shrug and run a hand through his salt and pepper hair.

“It’s useable, I’d just be careful about who is nearby when you do. Striker Eureka and Crimson Typhoon are vulnerable. I don’t know much about Gipsy Danger, but I’ll take a look at her specs and see what they have to say, maybe talk to Miss Mori since she rebuilt the thing. Oddly enough, Cherno Alpha shouldn’t have an issue. With the way he’s built, the charge won’t affect his systems much.” Jace lowered his tablet and Gemma tapped at her lips with her fingers, suddenly nervous again.

“It’s not that odd. The jaeger itself protects their Conn-Pod like some sort of faraday cage. Make sure the other Rangers know about the issue, yeah? And keep us updated about the new board. Clock’s ticking, we’ll be deployed sooner or later.” Maya looked around the Conn-Pod and Gemma stepped up to her harness, flicking some switches on the side, checking to make sure it hadn’t burned out as well, even though the display read otherwise.

“Of course. That was the only issue we noticed, but you should do your own checks to be sure.” Jace said and with a nod to the both of them, he ducked out of the Conn-Pod to finish his assigned tasks.

“I can hear you thinking from here. It’ll be fine. Relax.” Maya said, moving over to her harness to run her own checks.

Gemma didn’t reply, concentrating on making sure all of the lights on the panel lit up green. It would be fine, she told herself. There was still a few days until the next attack, if they kept coming on schedule. It’d be alright.

Running their checks took longer than Gemma wanted, but they hurried out of the bay and towards the kwoon, hoping to catch the last few candidates.

There was a crowd assembled to watch the trials and Gemma pushed her way forward. Wood clacked together and as Gemma finally found a spot to watch, Raleigh slammed one of the candidates down onto the mat face first. Gemma winced in sympathy. She remembered what that was like, having had it happen so many times at the Academy. Still, it showed Raleigh hadn’t lost his touch.

Maya appeared at her shoulder as Mako called out the score - four points to one. Gemma glanced up at her copilot with a grin. It made her happy to see Raleigh back in this, despite the loss of his brother. At least he hadn’t gone and done one of the hundred terrible things she had worried about over the past five years.

The next candidate stepped up at a signal from the Marshall, spinning his hanbō in a manner that felt unnecessarily flashy before he brought it up to shoulder height. Raleigh assumed his position as well and the fight started but didn’t last long. Raleigh hooked his opponent’s leg with the staff and flipped him onto his back, angling the wood down at the other man’s throat.

“Four points to two.” Mako announced, making a note, and as the other man stood, Raleigh took a few steps towards Mako and the Marshall. With his back turned, Gemma couldn’t see his expression, but she could tell he wasn’t happy about something.

“Okay, what? You don’t like them? I thought you selected them personally.” Raleigh asked, the annoyance clear in his voice. Gemma’s eyebrows shot up.

“Excuse me?” Mako asked and Gemma looked up at Maya again, who was wearing a similar expression of surprise.

“Every time a match ends you make this little - gesture, like you’re critical of their performance.” Raleigh replied, his head moving as he tried to replicate what he had seen. Mako frowned at him.

“It’s not their performance. It’s yours. Your gambit. You could have taken all of them two movies earlier.” She replied and Gemma wondered where she was getting that from. From the little she had seen, none of those men were compatible with Raleigh. The whole point of the fight was to test each other, to see if you could guess the other’s moves, to get into their head. Raleigh soundly kicked ass.

The fighting was different for everyone, she knew. Occasionally, the pair would have one person who came out on top constantly. They were typically the dominant pilot. Other pairs, like Gemma and Maya, came to a draw every time. Maya was the right-side, dominant pilot by agreement. And others still couldn’t pilot with someone they could beat so easily in the kwoon. But Gemma could tell that the candidates Mako had chosen fit into the last category. It was a little disheartening. Maybe he wouldn't’ find another copilot after all.

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Can we change this up? How about we give her a shot?” Raleigh pointed at her with his hanbō. The gathered crowd started murmuring amongst themselves, knowing something Gemma clearly didn’t. Mako looked to the Marshall, practically begging for permission.

“No. Stick to the cadet list we have, Ranger. Only candidates with drift compatibility-” Pentecost began, and Mako stepped a little closer, saying something Gemma didn’t quite catch over the voices around her. The Marshall turned to Mako, speaking quietly. Maya hummed, clearly interested.

“She’s got the potential to be a Ranger. Graduated top of her class from the Academy. Wonder what the problem is.” Maya said lowly, and Gemma turned her attention back to them as Raleigh spoke again.

“What’s the matter, Marshall? Don't’ think your brightest can cut it in the ring with me?” Raleigh said, challenge clear in his voice.

“Ooh, that’s pretty arrogant of him.” Maya said and Gemma grinned as the Marshall took the tablet from Mako. She stepped forward and there was a cocky gait to her movements.

“This is about to get really interesting.” Gemma said and Maya laughed quietly beside her. Mako took off her button-up and folded it neatly, setting it on the edge of the ring. Her boots and socks came after, finding their place next to it, and she stepped onto the mats, staff in hand.

“Four strikes marks a win.” The Marshall announced and Mako and Raleigh moved on the mats, taking their places.

“Remember, it’s about compatibility. It’s a dial-up, not a fight. And I’m not going to dial down my moves.” Raleigh said as he took his place on the end of the mat by the Marshall. Mako moved towards them, glancing briefly at the crowd before she turned to face Raleigh.

“Okay. Then neither will I.” She replied and Gemma gave a quiet laugh of surprise.

The match began and Gemma felt her jaw drop open as it progressed. Raleigh got the first strike and Mako recovered quickly, getting one of her own. Raleigh moved forward, getting the second strike at Mako’s back. And it just got more intense from there.

“Jesus. This isn’t a fight, this is foreplay. Look at that.” Maya breathed and Gemma had to agree. Their faces, their body language all screamed compatibility, and anyone could see that. And when the fight ended with Mako pinning Raleigh, Gemma was thoroughly impressed.

“Enough! I’ve seen what I need to see.” The Marshall called and both Raleigh and Mako stood up, Mako giving the Marshall a formal bow.

“Me too. She’s my copilot.” Raleigh said, still trying to catch his breath. It was a good choice.

“That’s not going to work.” Pentecost replied and Gemma frowned. Why not? Mako was ready to step into a Conn-Pod, wasn’t she? Out of everything Gemma had seen, that was who she would have picked.

“Why not?” 

“Because I said so, Mr. Becket. I’ve made my decision, report to the Shatterdome in two hours and find out who your copilot will be.” The Marshall said and turned away, moving out of the kwoon.

“He’s crazy! They’re perfect.” Gemma said as Maya pulled her away, the crowd dispersing. Gemma caught a glimpse of Chuck, who had shown up at some point, but Maya was guiding her away and she didn’t have time to get his attention before they were around the corner.

“You know who she is, right?” Maya asked as they moved down the hallway, probably towards the jaeger bay to keep an eye on the work being done. It wasn’t strictly necessary, but it saved the techs a trip if they needed to ask an opinion on something.

“Not really. I know she’s basically a genius, and after that fight I don’t want to be on her bad side.” Gemma said, stepping into the elevator.

“I know you know about Coyote Tango’s drop in Tokyo back in 2016.” Maya followed, pressing the button to take them to the second floor in the bay.

“Yeah, Onibaba. That was back when Marshall Pentecost was piloting.” Gemma replied, wondering what any of this had to do with Mako. Sure, the woman was Japanese...had she been in Tokyo on the day of the attack? Vaguely she remembered the news talking about a little girl, a survivor, who had been nearby when the jaeger engaged the kaiju.

“Was she the kid that Coyote Tango saved?” Gemma asked, almost not believing it.

“Yep. Her parents were killed, as was just about everyone else in the area, but somehow she made it. After Pentecost and his copilot retired, he adopted her, but kept it quiet.” Maya confirmed and Gemma blinked a few times in surprise.

“Well, that kind of explains it. He doesn’t want his daughter piloting a jaeger. It is pretty dangerous.” Gemma thought about her own dad. Would he have stopped her if he could?

“I don’t think it’s that. Mako’s scores are higher than most. She’d make an excellent pilot, and with the world the way it is, we need those. There’s something else that’s stopping him. I don’t think the Marshall would make that choice because he worries for her. It doesn’t seem like him.” Maya shrugged and stepped out of the elevator as the doors opened. The bay was noisy from all the work being done, but there was an office that they could go sit in and monitor progress.

“But then again, how much do we really know about what goes on in his head, let alone anyone’s but our own?” Maya mused and Gemma had to agree. They knew each other well enough, but that was thanks to the Drift. They’d never know another person as intimately as they knew each other, not even after years of conversations.

“How do you know all this?” Gemma asked as they found the office and stepped inside. Rows of holographic displays waited to be turned on and Maya chose one on the end and activated it.

“It’s amazing, the discussions you have over a cup of tea.” Maya said airily and Gemma narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion.

“Where did you get tea?”

“Herc enjoys it more than coffee, it seems. Brought a stash from Australia. It’s not bad, actually. He’s quite a generous man.” A smile that was less about tea and more about things Gemma really didn’t want to know about came across Maya’s lips.

“You know, it wasn’t so bad when it was anyone you were with before. Or even Trevin. It’s going to be very awkward when I know what both he and his son look like naked.” Gemma groaned, sitting down at a desk and dropping her head onto it.

“Yes, because I really was excited to learn what Chuck looks like without his clothes. I’m sure its very nice, but I’m not into younger men, you know this.” Maya replied, scrolling through the data about Maverick Kestrel.

“No, you definitely love the grey hair thing. God, it’s a good thing my dad keeps coloring his hair, if you started to -”

The door to the office opened and Chuck stepped in and paused in the doorway. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be in here, clearly, and Gemma smiled at him, but her smile faded a little when he just looked past her.

“Hello, Chuck. Need something?” Maya asked, waving at him and then turning back to the display. Gemma watched him come into the room and close the door behind him.

“Yeah. Ran into your lead J-tech. Said he wanted to ask you something.” Chuck said, glancing over at Gemma with an unreadable expression. What was the problem now?

“Oh. I wonder if he heard back from Oblivion Bay about the board. I’ll go check. Gemma, you want a cup of coffee while I’m up?” Maya stood up from her seat and moved towards the door.

“Sure. Sounds good.” Gemma replied and Maya left the office, closing the door behind her.

Chuck watched her for a moment and Gemma tried to finish what she was reading about their updated targeting system but the way he was staring at her was starting to bother her.

“So...what’s up?” Gemma asked lamely, turning to face him. He had his arms crossed and didn’t look happy at all.

“Why’d you leave this morning?” He asked, his voice pitched low. Gemma frowned and shrugged.

“Because I had to shower?” Gemma told him as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. And to her, it was. Sure, she could have used his, but she had all her products in her own bathroom, along with clean clothing.

“So this wasn’t a one-off?” He asked, sounding pretty unsure of himself, which again was strange to hear from him. Gemma was starting to get the sense that the arrogance and swagger was an act.

“Um...not unless you want it to be. I don’t know how much you remember, but it got pretty intense there for a while.” Gemma said, feeling her cheeks heating up. She remembered it all, of course. She was hoping that he wouldn’t say it was a one time thing, although she didn’t think commitment issues were something Chuck would have.

“I remember...Do you want to do this? Be together?” He asked, sitting down next to her. Gemma watched him, saw how unsure of himself he was. Inside a jaeger, he knew what he was doing. He was a damn good pilot and he knew it. Outside of one, when he had to deal with people, he was lost.

“We can give it a shot. I mean, it’s not like we’ll be here much longer, either way.” Gemma said and Chuck rolled his eyes.

“Nothing is going to happen, Gemma. We’ll fight, we’ll win, and you’ll come out of it alive, I promise.” He said, picking up one of her hands and grasping it in both of his.

“Let’s hope you’re right. I mean, I kind of just got a boyfriend, it’d be pretty sucky to die so soon after that.” She said, her voice cheerful and Chuck grinned at her. He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it, then released it and stood back up.

“I’ve got work to do. I just wanted to...clear things up. I’m tired of wondering. I’ll see you later, Gem.” He told her and moved towards the door.

“That’s the only kiss I get?” Gemma asked and he paused with his hand on the doorknob.

“Come find me later, I’ll give you a proper Aussie kiss.” He winked at her and then left the room, leaving Gemma gaping at the doorway. After a moment, Gemma chuckled and went back to the screen, checking over more of Maverick’s systems.

Proper Aussie kiss. What a tease.

Maya returned ten minutes later with two cups of coffee, passing one over to Gemma.

“So...Jace hadn’t seen Chuck all morning.” Maya said over her cup and Gemma just smiled at her copilot.

“Well, at least the two of you are talking.”

They monitored the progress of the daily maintenance on the jaeger until they started hearing announcements over the Shatterdome PA system about the Gispy Danger tests.

“They’re going to be doing live testing of the jaeger in the bay. Not the best idea, but time is short. The Marshall probably doesn’t want to waste time doing sim testing. We’ll have a good spot to watch up on the walkway leading to the lift.” Maya said and Gemma shut the terminal down and stood up, scooping her cup of coffee up.

With Raleigh already familiar with Gipsy’s operating procedures, it was likely the copilot had been drilled in the sim with an AI copilot before all this. Stepping into the jaeger would be the final test, really. No need for sims any longer.

“Wonder who the Marshall picked. It really should be Mako.” Gemma said as the two of them left the room and out to their observation spot. Gipsy was waiting patiently across the bay, waiting for her Conn-Pod and pilots.

“We saw Mako in a drivesuit. I think he changed his mind.” A voice behind them revealed itself to be Jace, coming to watch with a couple of their other techs.

“Seriously? That’s amazing. They were great together.” Gemma turned to face the jaeger again, gripping the railing and leaning forward. It was exciting to actually see Gipsy Danger again, to watch the Conn-Pod drop and connect with the rest of the mech again. The turbine roared to life and Gemma was filled with the same thrill she got whenever she watched a jaeger launch. After all this time, even after all the deaths, it never got old.

After a moment, Gipsy Danger moved, lifting her fists in front of her. Gemma laughed, delighted. Gipsy was back. They continued through the calibration tests, as limited as they could be inside the Shatterdome.

“Welcome back, Lady Danger.” Maya said, putting her arm around Gemma.

Gipsy Danger slammed a fist into an open palm, the sound echoing through the bay. Gemma cheered. Best day she’d had since getting her jaeger.

Suddenly, Gipsy flinched back, as if someone had struck her. Gemma’s smile faded. Maybe everything wasn’t so great after all. Gipsy Danger froze and Gemma knew then something was wrong. Glancing up at the LOCCENT booth, she could see a couple of people up there hurrying around. Someone had chased the rabbit.

“Oh, no. No, come on. Don’t do this, guys. We need you.” Gemma said, hoping they’d snap out of it. They had to.

Gipsy’s left arm moved straight out, the hand shifting, forming the plasma cannon. She felt Maya flinch, heard the techs shouting.

Gemma started running towards LOCCENT, and Maya was on her heels. Something was very wrong. They went up the stairs, two at a time, shoving her way past fleeing techs and into the booth.

“What the hell happened?” She shouted and from behind the control desk, she saw Chuck pulling at some cables. She didn’t get an answer - Marshall Pentecost shoved past her, shouting at them to take them offline. Gemma backed against the wall, watching in horror as Tendo and Chuck pulled at the power lines.

Finally, they managed to disengage the power and slowly Gipsy Danger went offline, lowering her arm.

“Drift sequence terminated. Would you like to try again?” The AI announced and Gemma let out a long, trembling breath and looked over at Chuck, eyes wide. He looked back at her with a similar expression. That had been far too close for anyone’s liking.

“You two need to get out of here. Let the techs back in, we need to figure out what went wrong.” Herc said, gesturing at Maya and Gemma. He was breathing heavily.

“Right. Just….just let us know if you need any help. We’ll be in my room.” Maya said shakily, grabbing Gemma’s hand. Chuck had set his jaw, his fear clearly fading into anger. Gemma wanted to say something but Maya was pulling her away.

Back in Maya’s room, Gemma paced.

“That was insane. Their Drift was so strong they had to kill power? Jesus.” Gemma’s hands were still shaky as she ran them through her hair. Maya was sitting on her bed, sipping at tea. Gemma wished she had some of her dad’s hot chocolate. It was as soothing to her as tea was to Maya.

“Maybe they weren’t ready.” Maya said quietly and Gemma stopped her pacing.

“Everyone chases the rabbit on their first Drift. You know that. Why were the weapons even online?” Gemma snapped and Maya rolled her eyes.

“Maybe they weren’t. Maybe their connection was so strong, whatever memory they were chasing overrode the program and turned them back on? I can imagine which memory either of them were chasing - the jaeger was just trying to protect them.” Maya replied carefully and then took a drink from the mug in her hands

“I hope that Dr. Lightcap sees those Drift readings, wherever they sent her off to. She’d be happier than a tornado in a trailer park. That was insane.” Gemma repeated, sitting down next to Maya.

“Tornado in a trailer park? Really?”

“Shut up. I hope they’re okay.”

Gemma went looking for Chuck after lunch. She hadn’t gone to the mess hall, but as she walked through the halls, she could hear people talking. Mostly about Raleigh and Mako’s disastrous Drift test. Nobody had anything good to say.

Instead of Chuck, she found Raleigh going into his room. She called out to him and he paused, turning around to face her. Gemma saw the cut on his cheek, the split lip.

“Jesus, Raleigh. What the hell happened to you?”

“Not now, Gemma.” He said, opening his door and stepping inside. Gemma followed.

“No, seriously. Who did this?” Gemma reached up and touched the mark on his cheek gingerly. He flinched and she pulled away.

“The damn Hansen kid. Picked a fight outside Pentecost’s office.” Raleigh said shortly, and Gemma crossed over to his sink and wet a washcloth to clean him up, mostly to hide her scowl. Chuck picking a fight didn’t surprise her, and she planned on having words with him later. This wasn’t the time for fighting.

“Why’d he hit you? Because of the Drift test? Sit.” Gemma ordered and Raleigh dropped into a chair with a sigh.

“Yes. No. Shit. I...I started it. He came out of Pentecost’s office and started hurling the insults.” Raleigh hissed in pain as Gemma dabbed at the cut on his cheek with the cloth, cleaning the blood away.

“Yeah, he’s definitely good at that. What’d he say?” Gemma asked, trying to be careful, but it wasn’t easy when she was getting angrier by the second. Now wasn’t really the time for fights between Rangers, and they both knew it. Men.

“It started with me, but I couldn’t let him get off with calling Mako a bitch. She doesn’t deserve that.” Raleigh reached up and took the cloth from Gemma when she pressed too hard again. “Damn it, that hurts.”

“He said what?” Gemma wanted to make sure she heard that right.

“I think his exact words were ‘one of you bitches needs a leash’. The guy’s an asshole, Gemma. I know you were at the Academy together, but I don’t get why you’re still friends with him.”

Gemma groaned. She really didn’t need this right now. Raleigh was her friend, almost a brother to her as she had gotten to know him well enough before Knifehead, but Chuck was a (recent) boyfriend, someone she cared about. Definitely a conflict there.

“I’m going to go talk to him. Are you and Mako alright?” Gemma said and Raleigh’s scowl deepened.

“No. He grounded her. It’s complete bullshit.” Raleigh said and Gemma chewed on her lip, her anxiety about the mission returning.

“We need Gipsy.” Gemma murmured and he sighed.

“No you don’t. You’re all great pilots. I’ve been watching the drops when I could, kept an eye on who continued to fight. I’m the weakest link around here - the only one to lose a jaeger.” Raleigh looked away and Gemma shook her head.

“That’s not true at all, Raleigh Becket, and you know that. Five kaiju kills, one of them solo. That’s nothing to laugh at. And you’re not the only one to lose a jaeger - do you see Lucky Seven around here? Didn’t think so.” Gemma threw her hands on her hips and stared at Raleigh. He should know, he was there for that drop.

“Herc’s brother isn’t dead though, is he?” Raleigh retorted and Gemma just continued to glare at Raleigh.

“He’s not around for a reason, whatever that is. You’re a damn good pilot yourself, and if I hear one more word out of you that says otherwise, I’m going to split the other side of your lip. Now, I’m going to go find out what the hell Chuck’s problem is.” Gemma started moving towards the door.

“He’s an arrogant little shit, that’s what his problem is. Hopefully the beating I gave him took him down a peg or two.” Raleigh growled and Gemma groaned again.

“No, that’s not going to help at all. How bad did you hurt him?” Gemma stopped and turned to face Raleigh again. He shrugged.

“He’ll be able to pilot his jaeger. I may have broken his nose though. He’s fine. It could have been worse.” Raleigh said easily, swiping at his lip with the cloth.

“Go see if that needs stitches. I’ll see you later.” Gemma yanked open the door with more force than necessary and slammed it behind her. She stalked through the hallways towards Chuck’s room, intending to see if he was in there so she didn’t shout at him in front of the entire Shatterdome, even though he probably deserved it.

She hammered on his door, ignoring the pain it caused in her wrist and a moment later the door was pulled open and Chuck was standing there, glowering at her.

“What the hell?” He demanded and Gemma shoved past him and into the room.

“No, I’m the one who gets to say that. What the fuck is your problem? Picking a fight with Raleigh? You should know better!” She shouted as soon as the door closed behind her. Chuck was staring at her with a mix of anger and betrayal, but Gemma couldn’t find it in herself to worry about it right this second.

“What’s my problem? I’m not the one who nearly vaporized half the Shatterdome! He’s clearly not cut out for this anymore, she’s not ready-”

“And that gives you leave to call either of them a bitch? We’re not in middle school, Chuck. Name calling got old a long time ago.” Gemma was trying to ignore the blood still trickling from his nose and the cut just under his eye, trying to ignore the way his eye was darkened.

“You’re taking his side on this? He could have killed you!” Chuck shouted back and Gemma shook her head.

“It could have killed a lot of people, but you don’t see a line forming outside his door to kick his ass! We’re adults, we’re Rangers, maybe you should act like one?” Gemma said and Chuck laughed shortly.

“Maybe there should be.” Chuck moved over to his bed and sat down on his mattress, touching at his nose gingerly.

“Or maybe, just maybe, we should let the chain of command, the officers, you know, the Marshall and your father, handle things properly. The kaiju already want to kill us, lets not do their work for them.” Gemma replied, a little quieter this time. She moved over to him and examined his face. He looked worse that Raleigh did. It was surprising, really. Chuck had handed her ass to her every time they faced off. She didn’t expect Raleigh to get the upper hand in a fight.

“Becket couldn’t have killed me.” Chuck muttered, letting Gemma turn his face into the light so she could get a better view. The nose was definitely very badly bruised, but not quite broken. There were a few cuts that were still weeping blood, but it’d stop soon enough.

“Is that why you look twice as bad as he does?” Gemma said shortly and found herself at his sink, repeating her actions from Raleigh’s room. She wondered if there was a first aid kid anywhere close by so she could put some antibiotic cream and bandages on these cuts.

Chuck was silent while Gemma worked, cleaning him up and she figured that was the most she could do for him right now. Chuck shifted his posture and winced and Gemma looked at his covered torso and wondered what other injuries he was hiding underneath his jacket and shirt.

“What else did you hurt?”She asked, finishing with his knuckles. She tossed the bloody cloth into the sink and tugged on Chuck’s jacket. He frowned and pulled her hands away.

“I’m fine. Go check on Becket if you’re that worried about him.” Chuck growled and Gemma glared at him.

“No, you don’t get to act like you’re jealous. Not again. I’m very pissed at you, and I’m going to be for a while, but Raleigh is a big boy, he can look after himself. Now do I have to drag you to Medical or are you going to let me look?” Gemma threw her hands on her hips and waited. She’d had enough of his attitude.

“I’m a grown man, I can handle myself.” Chuck protested and Gemma moved forward and pulled on the jacket again.

“For a grown man, you act like such a child sometimes. Take. Your. Shirt. Off.” She demanded, managing to pull his jacket off. She tossed it onto his desk and reached for his shirt and Chuck pushed her hands away.

“Fine. Stop. I’ll get it. Christ, woman.” He said and with a groan, pulled the grey t-shirt over his head.

Gemma stared at the bruises she could see, speechless. Raleigh had to have been really pissed to go this hard. She remembered him being defensive of the women he was close to (women in general, really) but she didn’t think he’d take it this personally.

“It looks worse than it is. It’ll heal in a few days.” Chuck told her quietly and Gemma sat beside him taking a peek at his back. It was also black and blue and Gemma winced in sympathy. Despite the fact that he mostly deserved it, it would hurt to pilot again until it healed up.

“You’re right, you know. No, don’t let it go to your head, I don’t feel like dealing with your ego. They could have killed a lot of people today. But it’s not entirely their fault, and I’d like for you to think about that. From what I can tell, a lot of things went wrong today.” She said gently, her anger at him fading into the back of her mind. Tensions were high for everyone. A lot was riding on Gipsy being back in action.

“You have no idea. The reason why Pentecost wasn’t there for most of the Drift test? That crazy bastard down in the K-science labs, the one with all the tattoos? Initiated a Drift with a bit of kaiju brain.” Chuck said and Gemma stared at him.

“Get out. You can’t Drift with a kaiju.” When Chuck just shrugged, Gemma felt her jaw drop open, not for the first time that day.

“Is he still alive?” Gemma asked and Chuck shook his head.

“No idea. I hope so, for the Marshall’s sake. He’s likely to have an aneurysm at this rate.” Chuck leaned backwards carefully, reclining on the mattress and Gemma did the same, lacing her fingers together on top of her stomach.

“What a dumbass.”

They lay there for a moment, the quiet only broken by the sounds of Max climbing out of his bed and shaking himself, causing his collar to clink as the metal moved.

“C’mere, Max.” Chuck called, and a moment later, the sounds of the bulldog jumping onto the bed could be heard. He shoved his face into Gemma’s, giving her a lick across her forehead, before moving to settle himself between the two of them.

“Ugh. Gross.”

“You should be thankful. He only does that to nice people.” Chuck said, bringing his hand up to scratch behind the dog’s ears.

“Can’t imagine why he sticks around you then.” Gemma joked and Chuck made a sound of protest.

“I can be nice.” He replied and Gemma laughed at him.

“Yeah. To me. And on occasion, Maya.” She replied, rolling onto her side so she could pet the dog as well.

“To anyone who deserves it. The way I grew up, you didn’t get smiles and pleasant attitudes unless you earned it. Did something worth getting praise for.” Chuck told her, moving his hands down the dog’s fur in long strokes. Max had closed his eyes, glad for the attention.

“The way I grew up, you were nice to everyone. Even people you didn’t like, at least to their face. Of course, there were ways to get around it. Bless your heart can be pretty big insult back home.” She told him and there was an ache in her chest as she thought about home. It’d be pretty cold there, no doubt Dad had the fireplace going. He’d sit in front of it and watch the evening news, drinking a little bit of bourbon from the same chipped glass he’d had for as long as Gemma could remember. Watson would be curled up on the rug in front of the fire.

She wondered if her dad was alone. Did Lydia come by often, and bring Lindsey? She hoped so. She didn’t like the idea of her Dad alone in their big house, missing one child and wondering if the other one would ever come home. She really hoped she did.

“That whole country of yours is weird. Your football isn’t really football, apparently you put so much sugar in your tea it loses all flavor, and then you ice it, and apparently, we’re not allowed to call some of you yanks because it’s a great offence, even though the lot of you are. “Chuck shook his head with a laugh.

“There you go, insulting my entire way of life in one go. Although, call my dad a yank and you’re likely gonna lose some teeth. To us, it means you’re from the north. It’s that whole Civil War holdover crap which I don’t really buy into but a lot of people still take it seriously.” Gemma explained, waving her hand in a ‘what can you do’ gesture.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Anything else I should know?”

“What, since we’re doing the relationship thing? If you ever meet him, bring him either a six pack of a good dark beer or a bottle of bourbon and you’ll be his new best friend. Also, bring the dog. You could probably behead me on the front porch and he wouldn’t care.” Gemma said with a grin. The last part wasn’t true, but it got the point across. Her father was an easy man to please. He didn’t do the whole ‘hurt my little girl and you’ll be buried in the backyard’ nonsense. No, he trusted Gemma to be able to do it herself.

The two of them lay there, petting the practically boneless dog and talking about nothing and everything at the same time, for what seemed like hours. Tomorrow they’d have more sims, more practice, but right now, they could be two young adults exploring a relationship.

* * *

 

“Maybe giving you free access to my tea was a bad idea.” Herc said when he found Maya in his bedroom, sitting on his bed sipping from a mug and reading. She smiled and turned a page.

“Water’s just boiled.” Maya replied, nodding towards the kettle on the desk. He looked exhausted, even more so than he had this morning, and it was only early afternoon. Thankfully neither of them had any other pressing issues to tend to.

“Or maybe it was a good one, if you’re going to be around to keep the water hot for me.” He busied himself at the desk and Maya set her book aside.

“Yes, that’s me. Ranger Maya Cadle, right half of Maverick Kestrel and tea fairy on the side.” She laughed and moved over so Herc could sit down on the mattress as well once he was done with his tea.

“You’ll make a lucky man very happy one day.” He told her and she shrugged at him.

“I’ll settle for making a lucky man moderately happy right now.” She replied, and it was true. She didn’t mind so much not being married at her age, not having children of her own. Sure, it had been something she had wanted for most of her life, but if all she got was Gemma and the others in the Shatterdome, she’d be perfectly fine with that. It could be worse.

“Well, you’ve accomplished that. What next?” He came over and sat down next to her, giving a look at the book Maya was reading. It was one of Gemma’s, a supernatural romance/thriller. Not her usual type of book, but it wasn’t bad. She couldn’t choose to be picky, not when leaving the Shatterdome was all but impossible these days.

“A nap? God, I’m glad Gemma’s not around to hear that. I’d never hear the end of it.” Maya rolled her eyes and settled back onto the pillows propped against the wall.

“It has been a stressful day.” He muttered, taking a mouthful from his mug. Maya didn’t doubt it. Being the Marshall’s second in command, even if it wasn’t official, had to be stressful.

“How are Raleigh and Mako doing?” She asked and Herc sighed wearily. That wasn’t a good sign.

“Stacker grounded her. I don’t know who he expects to find to pilot Gipsy with Raleigh, but I just spent the last hour arguing with him over the decision. I don’t know what he expected...everyone chases the RABIT on their first Drift. He did. I did. I’m sure you did.” Herc grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Maya shifted on the bed, moving behind him, and began to rub a soothing pattern across his shoulders.

“We don’t have much other choice, do we? If we have to, we’ll accomplish the mission without Gipsy Danger. I would just prefer it if she was there to help. It’s help calm Gemma down a bit more, I think.” Maya leaned over and set her cup on the desk and then returned back to sitting behind Herc, using both hands to rub at his shoulders.

“I’d imagine spending the night with Chuck might help with that.” Herc turned his head towards Maya and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“She certainly seems to be in a better mood. Suppose it can’t be that bad, so long as they’re safe about it.” Maya commented, working her hands firmly on his shoulders. Herc leaned forward as Maya continued, giving her better access to his neck as well. She wasn’t worried about Gemma on that front. She knew her copilot well enough.

“I may not be winning any father of the year awards, but that much I did get right.” Herc muttered and Maya sighed and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulders.

“You did the best you could, and that’s all anyone can ask of you. I think he turned out alright. Bit of a twat, but you can’t tell me that you didn’t act cocksure at that age.” Maya kissed him again, this time on his neck. Herc gave a short laugh, grinning as he no doubt remembered his younger years.

“You ever get bored of being right?” He asked and it was Maya’s turn to laugh. Herc set his tea mug aside and turned to Maya, pulling her down so they were both laying on the narrow bed facing each other.

“When I do, I’ll let you know. But think about it. What made you come around, realize that the world wasn’t about you?” Maya smiled at him, sliding one arm under the pillow to cradle her head. It wasn’t hard to guess what his answer might be.

“A beautiful woman, a ring, and a baby that was a complete surprise to the both of us.” Herc replied and Maya felt the satisfaction of being right yet again.

“Well let’s hope that the first one does it for him. I don’t think you’re old enough to be a grandfather yet.” Herc’s eyes widened as he thought about it.

“God, no. I’ve got no doubt he’d be an excellent father, if only to show me up, but he better wait a few more years.” Herc took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He made himself comfortable on the mattress, throwing an arm over Maya’s hips.  She closed her eyes, moving a little closer. A nap would do them both good.

* * *

 

The next few days were a blur of constant simulator runs. Now that they had the actual pilots to run the mission with, the Marshall had them in the simulator rooms as often as he could, running every possible scenario he could think of. One of them even had Striker Eureka incapable of delivering the bomb. For a moment, it had appeared that the program had outsmarted them, and then the Kadianovskys had the brilliant idea of dragging the jaeger to the breach and detonating it there after both of the pilots had evacuated using the jaeger’s life pods. The kaiju had been taken down, barely, by Crimson Typhoon and Maverick Kestrel, but neither of the Mark Four jaegers had been able to clear the blast radius in time.

Gemma spent that night in Chuck’s room as well, nearly crushed by his arms when he held her.

It was predicted that the next kaiju attack would be on January 8th, exactly a week after Mutavore. Everyone was tense on the 7th, the techs scrambling to make sure the jaegers had everything they needed, and for the most part, they did.

There still wasn’t a fix for Maverick Kestrel’s K-stunner relay board, but they were hard at work attempting to build one. Maya and Gemma had approved a temporary fix - sticking a smaller battery inside their Conn-Pod to absorb some of the overload that could possibly blow the smaller relay board they had now. It was far from ideal, but as long as Gemma’s side of the Conn-Pod avoided damage, they’d be alright.

Gipsy Danger still wasn’t cleared for combat, something that was incredibly frustrating not only to Raleigh and Mako, but to Gemma as well. Any time she went to talk to him, she found him on the floor of his room, doing sit ups or push ups. Mako didn’t leave hers often as well, but she found her once in Raleigh’s room, sitting cross-legged on his bed while he was on the floor, pushing himself through another workout.

She sat and talked with them for a while, bringing them coffee and some snacks she smuggled out of the mess hall while wearing Chuck’s bomber jacket. She learned that they had been going after hours to the simulators and practicing, and had gotten better at it. They were still chasing rabbits but somehow still managing to control the jaeger and completing a mission.

“He’s hoping the scores will change the Marshall’s mind.” Raleigh said from the floor, curling himself up at the waist again and again. Gemma was getting exhausted just looking at him.

“I don’t think it will work.” Mako said from her position on the bed. Gemma shrugged.

“Can’t hurt.” She replied, scooping up a piece of candy from the desk and unwrapping it. It was a jawbreaker of some kind, spattered with dozens of different colors and she shoved the candy wrapper in the coat pocket. Chuck would find it later when she gave the coat back.

“You’re still seeing the guy then?” Raleigh asked, nodding at the coat as he took a breather, drinking from a bottle of water. Gemma just gave him a look.

“Yeah, I am. Knock it off, Raleigh. You don't get to play big brother with me. If he gets lippy with me, I punch him in the jaw and move on.” Gemma replied shortly and Raleigh rolled his eyes.

“Wonderful relationship you’ve got there.” He muttered. Gemma sighed and shook her head.

“He wasn’t always like this. The years have soured him, I think.” Mako said and Gemma recalled a conversation she had with Chuck a couple of days back where he talked about the only other kid in the Shatterdome who seemed to get him was Mako. They could have been friends once upon a time, but she left Sydney with Marshall Pentecost and they didn’t really meet again after that.

“Doesn’t excuse his behavior. But I think I see what you mean. Anyways, I should be heading out. There’s no telling when the next kaiju will show up, so I plan on getting as much rest as I can until then. You two should do the same, you never know what might happen.” Gemma left the room and made her way towards Chuck’s where she planned on spending the night again.

She opened the door to Chuck’s bedroom and found Chuck arguing with his father.

“I...can come back later, if you’d like” She hovered in the doorway and Chuck glared at his father.

“No, it’s alright, Gem. He was just leaving.” Chuck growled and Herc gave a weary sigh and turned away.

“Get some rest, the both of you.” He said and Gemma stepped aside to let him pass, then moved in the door and closed it behind her.

“What was that about?” She asked, pulling off the coat and hanging it on the back of the desk chair. Chuck groaned and dropped onto his bed.

“He’s been sleeping with your copilot.” Chuck muttered and Gemma shrugged. This wasn’t exactly news. Hell, half the Shatterdome probably knew. Was he just finding out?

“Yeah, so?” Gemma replied, coming to sit next to him. He turned and stared at her.

“You can’t tell me it doesn’t bother you. Seeing that in the Drift.”

“Not really. It’s only a brief glimpse. I don’t chase the memories. They’re hers. I focus on combat, on piloting, and it’s never been an issue. I mean, occasionally I dream about it, since it’s in my head now, and that’s not all that fun, but on the whole, I don’t mind.” She explained, grimacing at the few times she had a dream about being in bed with Trevin. She liked him, sure, but it was completely platonic and not at all something she’d ever dream of on her own.

“It’s different, Drifting with family.” Chuck muttered, dropping his head into his hands. Gemma frowned, thinking about that. What if she had Drifted with her dad? Talk about awkward. Or even her brother, now that she thought about it. She wasn’t sure how some of these sibling pairs managed it.

“Well, its not entirely fair to expect your dad to keep it in his pants while you don’t, is it? Do you think he wants to see what you get up to? The answer is no, by the way.” Gemma looped an arm around his waist and leaned into him.

“It’s almost over. Soon you won’t have to Drift with him anymore. I wish you’d be nicer to him though.” Gemma pulled away after a moment, leaning down to unlace her boots. It was still early evening, but there was no telling when the alarm would sound and fighting tired was never a good idea. She planned on showering and then maybe trying to get some sleep. The nightmares hadn’t quite left her alone, but waking up to Chuck stroking her hair had definitely helped.

Pulling them off and kicking them under the bed, she stood and looked to Chuck, who appeared deep in thought.

“Hey. I’m gonna shower. Care to join me?” She smiled at him and nudged his shoulder. He blinked up at her and gave her a smile of his own.

“As long as you don’t try and wash my hair with any of that girly shit again.” Chuck stood up and looped a couple of fingers into the waistband of her pants, pulling her close.

“It’s literally the same thing you use, just in a pink bottle.”She stood on her toes and kissed him briefly. Or at least, that’s what she intended. Chuck took it a little further, tangling his free hand in her hair, changing the angle.

“‘Strawberry splash’ isn’t a manly scent.”

“Then don’t use my body wash, dumbass. Get in the shower.”

Squeezing themselves into small space seemed a little counterintuitive at first, especially for what the two of them had in mind, but thankfully the walls absorbed the heat from the hot water relatively quickly, so being pressed against it wasn’t so bad. Water got everywhere, but neither of them particularly cared, they’d clean it up later. And in the end, it didn’t matter which body wash they used, it ended up all over both of them.

After the shower, they curled up next to each other in bed. It was only a little after nine PM, but they both felt like rest would be a good idea. They dozed, waking briefly when the other moved or when Max made a sound in his sleep. They were ready, waiting for the next alarm.

It came a little after eleven, startling them both awake. Gemma was the first out of bed, tugging her clothes on quickly and stomping her feet into her boots. She didn’t bother lacing them, they’d just come off in a few moments anyways when she suited up. Chuck was right behind her, pulling a t-shirt on and reaching for his jacket.

“See you later.” Gemma said at the door and Chuck pulled her in and kissed her roughly. She tasted desperation, but she couldn’t tell if it was hers or his.

“I better.” He replied, wrenching the door open. Maya and Herc were just up the hall waiting for them. The four traveled together quietly until they reached a hallway that split, leading to the separate drivesuit rooms for each jaeger.

“Good luck.” Maya said as they separated. As they began to walk away, Gemma heard Herc ask a question.

“Why do I smell strawberries?”


	12. Hong Kong Shatterdome, January 8th - January 11th, 2025

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle of Victoria Harbor cripples most of the PPDC's fighting force and problems with Maverick Kestrel land his pilots in the Shatterdome's medical wing. Two jaegers live to take on Operation Pitfall, and a sacrifice is made deep beneath the Pacific.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this chapter is a monster! I've played with the timeline a bit more (but it is kind of an AU so it's to be expected) since the movie makes it seem like all these things happen right after another, and the wiki timeline says differently. I've also stolen more dialogue from the movie and changed it as necessary.

_“Code Red. Double Event. Category Four. Code Red. Double Event. Category Four.”_

Gemma’s heart stuttered in her chest as their drivesuit techs swarmed around them, screwing their armor in place. She looked over at Maya, hoping for reassurance. The woman looked surprised. There had never been two kaiju before. And two jaegers had difficulty with Mutavore a week before, a category four.

This wouldn’t be an easy fight. Gemma felt the fear that she had managed to keep away all week crash over her again. She clenched her jaw and her fists to keep from trembling.

“You’re all set, Ranger Watts. They’re telling us to direct you to LOCCENT before you step into your Conn-Pod.” One of the techs said, handing over her helmet. Gemma followed Maya from the room, their boots echoing down the hallway as they made their way towards the command booth.

The Hansens were already there, along with the Wei Tang triplets. Cherno Alpha’s crew came in behind Gemma and Maya, along with various other personnel. Tendo was standing in the front by the Marshall, waiting for them all to gather.

“The breach was exposed at 2300 hours. We have two signatures, both category fours. Codenames: Otachi and Leatherback. They’ll reach Hong Kong within the hour.” Tendo paced in front of the assembled Rangers. Gemma glanced over and found Raleigh and Mako in the room, but they weren’t suited up. She wished they were. They were needed now.

“Evacuate the city. Shut down the bridges. I want every single civilian in a refuge right now. Crimson Typhoon, Cherno Alpha. I want you to frontline the harbor. Stay on the Miracle Mile. Maverick Kestrel, you’re their backup. Engage if necessary. Striker, I want you to stay back, look after the coastline. We cannot afford to lose you so only engage as a final option.” Marshall Pentecost was quick with his orders and Gemma looked at Maya again, who gave her a short nod. They could do this. Two kaiju wasn’t anything they had done before, but it wasn’t all that different with one.

“You two,” The Marshall was looking at Raleigh and Mako. For a brief second, she was hoping he was about to tell them to suit up. Instead he told them to stay put. Gemma looked over at them. Raleigh didn’t look pleased at all (and why would he? He was a Ranger, he had to be itching to be out there). He gave Gemma a small nod as well, a silent good luck tribute. The Marshall dismissed them, and the four Ranger crews made their way to their Conn-Pod docks.

“Well. We haven’t gotten to fight with Cherno before. This will be a short fight, I imagine.” Maya said as they were secured into their harnesses. The techs were even quicker now than they had been before. These kaiju were fast for something so big. But Cherno Alpha was a tough jaeger, as tough as they come.

“We can hope.” Gemma said, hearing the Conn-Pod door lock behind them. She took a deep breath, then reached over and turned on their communications.

“Maverick Kestrel ready for drop.”

It wasn’t strictly necessary, not with the non-nuclear jaegers, to keep the Conn-Pods separate, but they did anyways, thanks to the ambient radiation in the bay. Even with all the shielding, some of it leaked through. They were both on daily metharocin regimens, along with everyone else who had access to the Shatterdome bay. It was a precaution mostly. Most days, Gemma liked the drop. It was like one of those thrill rides.

Their Conn-Pod linked with the rest of the jaeger, and Gemma keyed up her heads-up display. LOCCENT started the Drift countdown and Gemma found herself worrying her lip with her teeth. Calm, she told herself. Maya was undoubtedly just as scared, but she was able to keep calm. Gemma could do it too.

And then they were Drifting. Memories, feelings, sensations whipped by and Gemma let them pass as she always did. Now wasn’t the time to think about them. Thinking about them only led to chasing the RABIT, and nobody could afford that.

_“Drift established. Your connection is strong and secure, Maverick Kestrel. Prepare for transit.”_

_“Roger, LOCCENT. We’re ready to move.”_

They kept their radio on, so did the other crews. There was mostly conversation in Cantonese from Crimson Typhoon, but the Kaidanovskys’ favored Ukrainian Hard House could be heard from their end.

_“I don’t suppose we could ask them to play something else? Ride of the Valkyries, perhaps?”_ Maya said out loud, her voice cheerful. Someone laughed, Gemma couldn’t tell who.

_“It’s a pity the PPDC doesn’t have its own theme. Most other militaries in the world have one.”_ Gemma said, and because it was really the only one she knew by heart, she started humming the Marines' Hymn to herself as their jaeger was lifted from the Shatterdome. She thought of her dad briefly; he was the one who taught her the song, after all. That, and a damn wall clock that chimed with the tune every hour.

Maya retaliated by humming something that Gemma could only identify when Maya thought it. It was a piece called ‘The Watchtower’. Not something Gemma had ever heard, but apparently Maya had heard it plenty.

_“We’ll have to write our own when we’re done with this.”_ Gemma heard Chuck say and she couldn’t help but feel a little more comfortable knowing Striker was out here. They were the best, although she’d never say it to Chuck’s face. His ego didn’t need any more stroking.

_No, it really doesn’t. Mind on the mission, Gem, you can do more stroking later._   
_Oh, real cute. I’m focused._

_“LOCCENT, Striker’s got the ball and we’re on the roll.”_   
_“LOCCENT, near position and awaiting your orders.”_

_“Remain at the miracle mile. Engage at your discretion. Keep your eyes open. These category fours are the biggest we’ve ever seen, both in size and weight.”_

It didn’t take them long to get to their target drop zone.A quarter of a mile ahead of Maverick Kestrel, Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon dropped. Maya reached up and disengaged them from their transport, and the landing rattled Gemma’s teeth, as it always did. She ignored it, her head in the game. The kaiju would be on them in minutes.

_“Cherno Alpha in position, Miracle Mile. Cherno Alpha holding the coastline, the beacon is on.”_

_“Crimson Typhoon in position.”_

_“Maverick Kestrel, on your six, Cherno Alpha.”_

Gemma kept an eye on her sensors, on her equipment. The readings for their K-stunner were all green, despite the quick fix Jace and his team put in place. She had to believe it wouldn’t fail them, although she wasn’t entirely certain how effective it would be on larger kaiju. It seemed only a momentary stun for the larger kaiju they had faced previously.

_“I don’t like the view from back here.”_ Chuck grumbled over the radio and there was a flash of amusement from Maya.

_“Don’t lie, Hansen. You love looking at our backside.”_ Maya replied and there was a snort of laughter from Crimson Typhoon.

_“Cut the chatter, Rangers. Focus on your mission.”_ Marshall Pentecost ordered and Gemma felt Maya roll her eyes.

_I can’t wait til this is over. I’m not sure I like taking orders anymore._

_Well, after the Breach is closed for business, the Marshall is throwing us out. Maybe we can start our own business._

_Doing what? Neither of us know anything about business._

_There’s always college. We can be roommates, throw parties…_

_And here I thought you were too old for all that nonsense._

A few more minutes passed and then Maverick’s proximity sensors started to shriek. One of the kaiju signatures had appeared on their radar, close to Crimson Typhoon. There was a shout in Cantonese from the Chinese jaeger just as Gemma opened her mouth to alert them.

Otachi leapt from the water and slammed into Crimson Typhoon, sending them flying. The Marshall was right, this was easily the biggest kaiju Gemma had ever seen. Crimson Typhoon recovered quickly though, as agile as they were.

_“Crimson Typhoon, we’re coming in at four o’clock.”_ Gemma announced, activating the K-stunner. So far, so good: the weapon sparked into life with no issues, the jaeger’s left hand becoming a arcing claw of electricity.

On the display, Gemma could see the triplets lifting their arms too, shifting into their trademark Thundercloud Formation with ease. Three rotating blades on the end of each arm spun to life, and they moved in, slashing at Otachi with a motion that had to be unconscious to the jaeger team by now. But the kaiju didn’t make it easy for the Chinese jaeger, crushing two of the saw blades in massive hands of its own. But Crimson Typhoon had a plan for that situation.

_Did they just throw the kaiju?_   
_Jesus. Maybe they should have led with that._

Cherno Alpha had been closer than Maverick was, and despite their weight and size, Cherno Alpha barrelled into Otachi with a punch that both Maya and Gemma could feel. Five more seconds, and they’d be in the fight too…

_Gemma, hit it now!_

Gemma threw her fist out, catching Otachi with the stunner. Even if the fix didn’t work, Crimson Typhoon was far enough away that any excess electrical charge wouldn’t affect them. But the K-stunner did its job and bits of electricity crackled over Otachi’s back. The kaiju roared.

_All I did was piss it off! Use the-_

Otachi flicked its tail, smashing into the tower-like head of Cherno Alpha, knocking them back, and quicker than Gemma could react to, the kaiju brought its tail down hard on Maverick’s Conn-Pod.

Alerts flooded Gemma’s display as both she and Maya stumbled backwards, momentarily stunned by the attack.

_We’re okay. Bloody hell, this bastard is fast._  
 _We can’t take another hit like that. That battery isn’t structurally sound._   
  
_“LOCCENT, they’re in trouble, we’re moving in!”_ Herc announced, his voice coming through the speakers in their Conn-Pod and Gemma felt relief. They needed Striker.

_“You are to hold your ground. Do not engage! We need you to carry that bomb! Do you copy?”_

_“Goddammit! Activate missile launcher!”_ Gemma shouted and Maya keyed up their targeting system, bracing their jaeger to fire the cannon that shifted into position over their right shoulder. What the hell was the Marshall thinking? They needed help out here or they were going to lose jaegers.

_Targeting system is damaged, I’m gonna have to do this manually!_   
_Just do it fast, they won’t last much longer out there!_

Otachi had recovered from the beating Cherno had given it and turned to the approaching Crimson Typhoon, beating on the Mark Four with the kaiju’s clawed tail, and in a move they had seen before, the claws gripped the Conn-Pod.

_They’re targeting us. Jesus Christ, I was right. They know we’re in here._

_“Five seconds until targeting solution!”_ But five seconds was too long for Crimson Typhoon and Otachi ripped the Conn-Pod from the jaeger and sent it flying. On Gemma’s display, the marker for Crimson Typhoon went red and then dark. She heard their echoing screams before the feed went dead entirely.

_“Cherno Alpha, requesting backup!”_

_“LOCCENT, we’re moving in! Cherno, hang on!”_

_“Targeting solution acquired, firing anti-kaiju missiles!”_ Maya announced and their jaeger rocked as she fired all three of their on-board missiles. It was a last-option type weapon, but hopefully it would do some damage against the kaiju. One went wide, spiralling off and exploding harmlessly into the air, but two buried themselves into Otachi’s flank, detonating.

But it didn’t seem to faze the kaiju much, and it rose onto its legs and some sort of projectile sprayed from its mouth, painting the front of Cherno Alpha.

“ _Cherno Alpha, we’ve been hit with some type of acid! Hull has been compromised. We need backup immediately!”_ Gemma had never heard either of the Kaidanovskys sound panicked until now. Maverick Kestrel was still mostly fine. As long as their Conn-Pod didn’t take any more damage, there was still a chance for this fight. But they had to move in quick to help Cherno, and quick wasn’t something Maverick did well.

_“Just hold on Cherno, we’re on our way!”_ Striker called and Maverick Kestrel turn his head to watch Striker begin running. Gemma was glad that they had decided to disobey orders and move in. She was glad that Striker Eureka was so fast. She was glad for a lot of things, and the Mark Five jaeger moving in meant she could keep feeling all those things for a little while longer.

_“That barely did a thing. I’m not the best shot, but I know how to butcher a kaiju. Come on, Gemma, let’s get back in this!”_ As one, both women moved forward, pushing their jaeger as fast as it would go. The plasma cutter on Maverick’s right hand flashed to life.

_Wait...there are two kaiju! Where’s the second?_ Gemma wasn’t sure whose thought that was, but it didn't matter. She had been so focused on Otachi, on her fellow jaegers, she had missed the second kaiju marker moving in. Leatherback exploded out of the water, leaping onto Cherno’s back.

_Nononono! You can’t have them, you sons of bitches!_

_Nobody else dies today!_

Otachi ducked around Cherno Alpha, who was struggling with the weight of Leatherback on their shoulders and Maverick Kestrel focused their fight on Leatherback. Striker was more than capable of dealing with Otachi, but they had to save Cherno Alpha.

The Mark One jaeger was forced into the water, Leatherback crushing whatever part it could reach. Maverick Kestrel lunged for the kaiju, rolling to the left and pulling Leatherback off the Kaidanovskys. From the display feeds, the jaeger had been destroyed, no hope of it standing back up. The power plant on its shoulders had been completely crushed, but with the hull compromised, maybe-

_Fuck he’s a big one. Gemma, we need to-_

Leatherback recovered quickly and slammed a massive fist into Maverick’s chest. The impact knocked the wind out of both women and they didn’t have time to duck another blow slamming into their Conn-Pod. It dented inwards, splitting in some places, and Gemma looked to the left and watched the battery explode, showering the inside of the Conn-Pod with battery acid. Gemma felt panic. Not just hers. Maya’s.

Maya never panicked.

Their jaeger rocked from another blow and suddenly she felt a pain in her knees as they were forced down. She raised her arms over her head to protect it and felt Maya scrambling for anything to fight off the kaiju. Gemma was having a hard time focusing - her drivesuit was reacting to the damage and sparking across the left side of her body, down her neck and across her arm and torso, the pain telling her to get away, but she couldn’t move. There was an ache in her head too, like someone had smashed a bottle on the side of her face.

_“Use the stunner! Get him off us!”_  That she could manage. It was second nature to her now, and she called up the weapon and shoved her fist out, catching the kaiju hard in the midsection. Leatherback moved away, snarling. Gemma fought to focus her mind on the fight, but the left half of her body was on fire. The K-stunner was malfunctioning, sending arcs of electricity across the jaeger’s body. Gemma’s circuitry suit was overloading from all the feedback

_“Engaging air missiles!”_ Gemma felt relieved - Striker Eureka was still in this. They could still win. Maverick Kestrel wasn’t much good anymore, but -

Something outside the Conn-Pod flashed and suddenly it felt like Gemma’s arm had exploded and pain radiated through her entire body. It felt like her body had been wrapped in a net of white-hot wires.  There was a sound in the Conn-Pod - was that screaming? - and it was the last thing Gemma was aware of before the shock of it all pulled her into unconsciousness.

* * *

 It was always hard on the mind when the neural bridge was severed abruptly. You kept reaching out for your partner, hoping to fill the hole in your head again. Maya woke up feeling her mind doing the same. looking for Gemma.

She wasn’t sure how long she had blacked out. The left side of her body burned thanks to her circuitry suit overloading. She wasn’t sure what caused it. She’d figure it out later. Right now, she looked to the other woman in the Conn-Pod.

Sometime while she was out, Maverick Kestrel had fallen over and water had spilled into the ruptured Conn-Pod. Thankfully, they weren’t completely submerged, and some light filtered in through the split as well, giving Maya some light to see by. She looked towards the left and found Gemma hanging limply in her harness.

“Gemma?” Maya called, reaching out towards the girl. She was just out of reach. Was she even breathing? Maya would know if she had died, right? “Gemma!”

Outside, Maya could still hear one of the kaiju moving around. The wakes it created sloshed through the opening in their Conn-Pod, splashing water over Maya. Her drivesuit burns got a bit of momentary relief from the cold water before the pain returned again and somehow felt even stronger. None of that mattered though. She needed to know if Gemma was still alive.

Reaching up, Maya flipped the manual release for her harness and without it holding her up, she splashed into the water below her. Feeling around, she found their control panel and pulled herself up onto it, standing up on unsteady feet and reached for her copilot.

Gemma’s breath was fogging up the inside of her helmet and Maya gave a sob of relief. She was still there. Thank God. They had to get out of here, had to get to shore. They were useless out here. Hell, with their jaeger dead they were completely useless, but Maya wasn’t about to let them be dead as well.

She heard some dim shouting coming from outside, followed by the roar of the kaiju. And then helicopters. A spotlight illuminated the harbor and the sound of a jaeger horn practically deafened Maya. She wanted to laugh. Gipsy Danger was being deployed. Had to be. Why the Marshall hadn’t sent them out with the rest, she’d never know. Later, she’d wonder if the outcome would have been different if Gipsy had been deployed with the rest of them.

Right now, she needed to get her copilot out of here. Hopefully rescue helicopters would be launched. Gemma’s injuries had to be serious. Maya knew her own weren’t anything to ignore, but they could wait.

At the back of the Conn-Pod, partially submerged, was an emergency kit. It had a first aid kid as well as a life raft and an emergency beacon and Maya stepped off the control panel and swam towards it. She had to tug hard to remove it from the wall, but eventually it came free and Maya flipped the switch on the emergency beacon, but nothing happened. Maybe the electricity had fried it. There was no way of telling, but undoubtedly LOCCENT knew that Maverick Kestrel was down. They had to.

She went back over to Gemma, standing on the control panel again. If she stood on her toes, she was just able to reach the manual release for Gemma’s harness and Maya did her best to not let Gemma hit the water too hard. Gemma moaned anyways, the sound painful to Maya’s ears. Still, Gemma didn’t open her eyes. Maya hoped that she didn’t, not until they were back inside the Shatterdome and her injuries had been treated. There was a faint smell of burnt flesh that the saltwater hadn’t quite washed away. Maya knew that most of it was from Gemma. If the girl woke now, the pain would probably be unbearable.

Maya pushed the floating kit towards the split in the Conn-Pod and with Gemma in tow, she swam after it. The drivesuits were partially buoyant, so keeping Gemma’s head above water wasn’t too much of an issue. Small miracles, something Maya was glad for. Those and the need to make sure Gemma made it out of this were the only two driving factors she had anymore. Gemma had to live.

Outside, there was no sign of the kaiju or the jaeger, but she could hear it somewhere. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t here anymore. Wasn’t posing a threat. Maya activated the raft, shoving it an arm’s length away so it could inflate. Climbing onto it and pulling Gemma in without tipping it over was extremely difficult, but Maya managed and then stopped to rest a moment. They were drifting away from Maverick Kestrel and as Maya caught her breath, she looked over the dead mech, an ache in her heart. The jaeger had been a part of them.

The rain was coming down in buckets, and she’d have to do something about that eventually before the raft flooded, but right now she’d catch her breath. She looked at Gemma and found the girl still breathing, but still unconscious. Maya felt her mind reaching out, looking for something. Instead, Maya set her hand on Gemma’s right pauldron, feeling the PPDC logo pressed into the maroon polycarbonate drivesuit. It wasn’t the same, wasn’t enough, but it would do for now.

She could hear helicopters again and reached into the emergency kit, digging around until she found what felt like the flares. She didn’t think she could stand, but she was able to pull herself to her knees and light one, waving in the direction of the helicopters. There wasn’t much else out here, they had to see her.

As one of the choppers came near, Maya tossed the flare into the water. If she was correct, she also felt glow sticks in the kit. Finding those, she snapped them, dropping back down into the raft. Those would illuminate her and Gemma without burning a hole in the raft.

As a spotlight was flashed on them, Gemma moved and made a strangled sound in her throat. And then the screaming started.

* * *

 Maya dozed in her hospital bed, the world around her a blur. If she turned her head just a little bit to the right, she could make out Gemma laying next to her, sedated. The medics had sedated her as soon as they pulled her onto the helicopter and she had been kept that way since, Another small miracle for which Maya was grateful. Maya had been mostly conscious when the doctors inside the Shatterdome starting cleaning her burns. Maya would rather give birth a hundred more times than experience that again.

But now, bandaged as best they could and on some good painkillers, Maya could sleep. Or so she thought, until the door opened and the room flooded with light from the hallway. Blinking, Maya struggled to sit up, tried to identify the two figures standing in the doorway.

“Son, let them sleep -”  
“I need to see her.”

Ah. Herc and Chuck then. Nobody she had to worry about. Maya relaxed again. They were alive. That was good.

“He can stay...just don’t….wake her up.” Maya slurred. She wanted to wave her hand, to gesture them in and tell them to sit down, but it was too hard. Her arm weighed a ton. One of the men moved across the foot of Maya’s bed and she could see him by Gemma’s, reaching out with a hesitant hand to touch the locks of blonde hair that had fallen into the girl’s eyes. It seemed like Chuck Hansen was full of surprises. Maya remembered the things she saw in the Drift, the way Chuck treated Gemma after one of her nightmares, stroking the girl’s hair until she stopped trembling. He was alright.

Still a bit of a twat, though.

“Go back to sleep, love. We’ll keep an eye on her.” Herc had moved in front of Maya’s bed, and there was a weight by her leg. Maya stared at Herc, unable to focus much, but she could tell something was different. His arm was in a sling, it looked like. And were those stitches above his eye?

“You were hurt.” She said, lifting her left arm out. She dropped it again when the pain started and she sighed, disappointed.

“Not as bad as you two. Get some rest, we’ll be here.”

* * *

  _Floating. It felt nice. The water was warm, the sun was on her face. She could hear a kid close by, splashing and laughing in delight. It was a beautiful summer day._

_“Gonna float there all day, Gem?”_

_Gemma blinked and opened her eyes. Simon was sitting on the edge of the pool, legs kicking lazily in the water. The had the same green eyes, the same honey blonde hair, but otherwise, they were as opposite as twins could be. He was male, where she was female. He was the quiet type without a lot of friends where Gemma made friends easily with anyone._

_He was dead, while she was alive._

_“No, you’re not dead. You’re just dreaming. Human mind is funny like that. You were hurt though, pretty badly. Modern medicine is pretty amazing though. You’ll be up in a few days, I’m sure.” Simon kicked a leg out, splashing Gemma with water. She sat up on the bright blue pool lounge and glared at her brother._

_“Why am I dreaming about you then? What happened to the others?” She asked and Simon shrugged._

_“I don’t know any more than you do.  I’m just your brain keeping you occupied so your body can heal. Kind of shitty, but what can you do?” He looked around and Gemma did the same. Down at the end of the pool a little girl splashed, pink water wings keeping her afloat as a woman pulled her through the water. Lydia and Lindsey._

_“Cute kid. Gonna grow up like her mom, I think. Loves the water. Who knows, maybe she’ll be an Olympic swimmer.” Simon watched them with a smile. It didn’t appear that Gemma and Simon were noticed._

_“I remember this place. This was the pool we were at, the day before Trespasser. In Hawaii.” Gemma recognized the deck chairs, the hotel towering up behind them._

_“Yep. It’s a nice memory for you. You don’t have a whole lot of these after the kaiju showed up. I mean, sure, graduating from the Academy was a good one, getting your jaeger. Those nights in LA with the Gages too. But they’re all colored blue, just a little bit. This one isn’t.” Simon splashed her with more water. Gemma looked down at her torso. It was her adult body, not the one she had as a kid, and her bikini was purple with pink and white pinstripes. She didn’t seen any evidence of injuries._

_“How was I hurt? I don’t really remember what happened.” She remembered the deployment, remembered some of the fight, but not much else. The last thing she could clearly remember was tackling Leatherback, pulling it from Cherno Alpha._

_“I don’t know because you don’t know. I’m not a ghost or an angel, I’m just the memory of your brother. C’mon, get out of the pool, lets go for a walk.” Simon lifted his legs from the water and stood, stepping back a bit so Gemma could move the pool float to the side and lift herself out._

_"Were you the one calling to me in my nightmares?"_

_"I don't know. Was I? Who would call to you, to tell you to keep swimming, keep fighting?"Simon replied and nodded towards the deck chairs. Gemma could list any number of people who would give her that advice. Don't give up, don't give in. Don't let the kaiju win._

_The sheer purple wrap she remembered buying on a trip with Maya and the Gages was laying on one of the chairs and Gemma picked it up and wound it around her waist, knotting it at her right hip. Bruce had found it and showed it to her, telling her it would match the bikini she wore frequently on their trips to the beach. It was the same shade of purple, so she bought it and when they went to the beach later that afternoon, she wore it happily._

_She followed Simon away from the pool, away from the hotel and onto the beach. The sand was warm beneath her feet, just as she remembered it being, but the beach was completely empty. Still, the water was crystal clear and the sun sparkled off it, making her wish she had a pair of sunglasses._

_“It’s always so pretty here. We should have come back. At least once, before the kaiju started trying to eat us.” Simon said, digging his toes in the sand. Gemma looked out over the water, contemplating. She had been to Hawaii for deployments and the one time stopover as she and Maya moved to Hong Kong, but she had never had a chance to walk along the beach._

_Hopefully she’d get to change that when she woke up._

_“You remember how that fish wouldn’t leave mom alone?” Gemma said and Simon laughed beside her._

_“Yeah. Kept nibbling at her toes. It was pretty great.” Simon replied, tucking his hands into the pockets of his swim shorts._

_Gemma wondered what her mother was up to. It wasn’t the first time she’d thought about the woman since she left. Despite the terrible things she had said to Gemma and Simon, she was still their mother. Would she be proud of Gemma, or would she still be disappointed that Gemma didn’t do what her mother had wanted?_

_“You can spend as much time here as you want. Go for a swim in the ocean. Don’t worry about the kaiju. They can’t hurt you here. Go explore, lay in the sand and enjoy the sun. You deserve it, sis.” Simon said after a while and Gemma turned to look at him._

_“And what if I want to get back to Maya and to Chuck and his dad and all the others?” Gemma asked and Simon shrugged at her._

_“Nothing is stopping you from just opening your eyes. But I’d recommend you sit here for a while longer. You’ve fought hard for five years, had a lot of falls, a lot of pain. Give yourself time to recover. If they’re all still there, they can wait a little longer.” Simon told her and Gemma narrowed her eyes._

_“What do you mean ‘if they’re still there’? Why wouldn’t they be?” She demanded and Simon shrugged again._

_“I don’t know if they are or not. I don’t know how the last fight ended. I’d assume they are. I mean, Striker Eureka is the best, right? Looking at their impressive record, I think it’s safe to say they made it out okay. You’re not just inflating their skills because you’re in love with Chuck Hansen.” Simon said casually and she glared at him._

_“I am not. We’re just...seeing each other.” She couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with her brother. Except he wasn’t really her brother, and that was another thing she couldn’t quite wrap her head around._

_“Gemma, this is all in your head. You might be able to lie to everyone else, but I know what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. You were halfway in love with him when the two of you split up after you graduated the Jaeger Academy, and meeting up with him after all these years kind of sealed the deal. Don’t lie to yourself. Or to him, for that matter. Relationships don’t go well when you lie.” Simon sighed and turned to look back at the hotel._

_“I’m gonna head up to the pool again, keep an eye on Lindsey. Just think about what I said, okay? Love you, Gem. Be safe out there.” Simon started walking away and Gemma turned to watch him go._

_“I love you too!” She shouted and he turned and waved as he walked away._

_Gemma dropped down onto the sand and looked back out over the water. She did have a lot to think about, didn’t she? But for now she was tired, and maybe some rest would do her good. She tugged the wrap from around her waist and used it to cover her hair and laid back on the sand. It was like laying in a soft warm bed and she drifted to sleep, comforted by the soothing heat._

* * *

 “She’s doing better. Jace, relax. It’s not your fault.”  
“If we had spotted the problem sooner-”  
“Don’t do that to yourself. She’ll be fine. You have work to do. Go fix up Striker and Gipsy, we need them.”  
“I...right. Of course. I’ll be back later.”

* * *

  _Gemma could hear conversations going on around her, but her eyelids were heavy, so she was content to just listen. Of course the others would be at the beach with her. They deserved a vacation too. Everyone did. Although most probably thought of different destinations than the beach._

* * *

 “Maya, I need to talk to you."  
“I’m not going anywhere.”  
“I got an email today. From Gemma. Looks like a timed delivery message.”  
“Oh? And what did it say?”  
“It looks like some kind of goodbye letter.”  
“Damn it. I told her she didn’t need those.”  
“There’s more than one?”  
“Yeah, she sent them to people she cared about. I need to get to a phone.”  
“Who else might have gotten one?”  
“Her father. Probably -”  
“Do you want to explain what the hell this is?”  
“Keep your voice down, boy.”  
“Why am I getting a goodbye letter from her?”

* * *

  _The beach was warm, but the sun was setting as she woke up. The wind had started to pick up and there were clouds in the sky. Some sort of storm was rolling in. It didn’t happen often, but the islands needed rain too, just as much as everyone else._

_Gemma picked herself up off the sand and pulled the purple fabric from around her hair. It was probably time to head back to the hotel, to get inside for the evening. She made her way towards it and saw Simon standing by the pool gate._

_“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to come get you. Storm is coming in.” He said, opening the gate as she reached it. She stepped inside and it locked behind her with a loud clang._

_“Is that bad?” She asked, holding tighter to the wrap in her hand as the wind whipped the cloth around._

_“Nah, not really. It’s probably time for you to go though.” Simon said, pulling Gemma towards the entrance to the hotel._

_“Why? What’s happening?” She asked, calling over the sound of the thunder that was rumbling overhead._

_“I don’t know! Go find out!” Simon shouted and to Gemma’s ears, he sounded gleeful. He pointed towards the hotel doors with a broad grin and Gemma stepped towards them carefully. With one last glance towards her brother, she opened the door and went inside._

* * *

 “I think she’s waking up. Gemma? Can you hear me? One of you go get the doctor.” Gemma opened her eyes and blinked a few times to get used to the light. She heard a door open and close and two people hovered over her.

Maya was on her right, Chuck on her left. She wasn’t sure which one to focus on first. She tried to sit up but felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, stilling her.

“No, don’t move. Your burns haven’t quite healed yet. Herc went to get Dr. White, just sit still. How are you feeling?” Maya said softly and Gemma frowned. This wasn’t what she was expecting.

“Um...thirsty. And...I hurt. Itchy too. How long was I out?” Gemma asked through a dry mouth and to her left, she saw Chuck lift a cup with a plastic straw sticking out of it, holding it close for her. She sipped at it gratefully and even though the water was room-temperature, she was glad for the moisture.

“It’s been three days since we dropped. They kept you sedated for most of the first and second day, but took you off it today. I don’t know what this burn gel stuff is, but it’s amazing. Itchy, though.”

“It’s a relatively new thing. They discovered it in Japan about three years ago.” There was a new voice and Gemma peered around Chuck to see what she assumed was the doctor. He was wearing a doctor’s white coat and had a tablet and everything. “Mr. Hansen, I realize that you’re concerned for Miss Watts, but I’d like for you to leave while I conduct my examination.”

“Like hell. I’m not going anywhere - “

“Ten minutes, Chuck. Christ, go grab a shower or some food while the man’s working. You’ve been in here constantly since they brought her in.” Maya said and Chuck glared first at the doctor then at Maya.

“I’m not going anywhere fast, Chuck. It’s okay.” Gemma said and he frowned and then spun around, storming out of the room. At least he didn’t slam the door.

“I’m going to murder that kid one of these days.” Maya muttered, sitting back down on the chair pulled close to Gemma’s bed. Gemma noticed that much of Maya’s left arm was bandaged as well and she struggled to sit up again.

“You’re hurt! What happened?” She demanded and Maya sighed in exasperation.

“Not as bad as you. I’ll tell you after. Can you let the doctor take a look at you, please?” Maya said and Gemma settled down again.

“Sorry.” She muttered, keeping an eye on her copilot all the same. The doctor carefully peeled the sheet from Gemma’s torso and Gemma looked down, getting an idea of how badly she was hurt.

“I think I’m a few months late for Halloween.” She said quietly, looking at the bandages wrapped over most of her body. She looked like a mummy. Well, a very well wrapped mummy.

“It’s good to have a sense of humor about these things, but you probably won’t in a few minutes when the nurses come in to change them.” Dr. White said, lifting Gemma’s left arm and pulling carefully at the bandages starting at her wrist.

“It sucks.” Maya said and Gemma was starting to understand why as he unravelled Gemma’s bandages up to her elbow. The process stung, like removing a bandaid, but the air felt nice on her skin. She could see now the burns following the pattern of the circuitry suit across her lower arm.

“How bad is it?” Gemma asked and the doctor gave her a sympathetic smile.

“It’s on almost 70 percent of your body. You also had some minor acid burns, but nothing that you couldn't have dealt with on your own. The gel we’ve applied helps accelerate healing of burns as well as cool them, but we have to rinse and reapply it periodically. Which, now that your conscious, might be easier if we can get you to stand.” Dr. White explained, lifting his arm to examine it closely.

Gemma wanted to ask how it happened, how her circuitry suit could have hurt her this badly, but two nurses stepped in and Gemma stiffened. She wasn’t liking how she imagined taking the rest of the bandages off would feel.

“It’s not the best thing, but they do wet them down beforehand. I’ll be there with you, just hold my hand.” Maya assured her, and with the assistance of the doctor, Maya, and both nurses, they helped her into the bathroom of the private room. The shower was thankfully like most of the others in the Shatterdome, if a bit larger. There was no lip for her to step over. It was a bit like having a very bad sunburn, except Gemma could feel lines of pain crossing her body instead of just an area of heat.

The water was on the cold side of being comfortable, but Maya assured her that this was better than warm. The bandages absorbed the water quickly, and the nurses were careful as they unwound them, but it still hurt.

The entire affair of undressing, being rinsed and then rebandaged after the gel was applied was exhausting, and Gemma was pleased to get back into bed again. She felt cleaner, but she was tired and the pain was worse than it was when she woke up. She told one of the nurses, who adjusted something on the IV attached to her arm and a few moments later, the pain was dulled, as was everything else.

“Your healing is going just fine, Miss Watts. Just take it easy and you’ll be up in the next couple of days.” Dr. White said after he finished recording her vitals from the screen next to the bed and he left the room, taking the nurses with him.

“So...what happened?” Gemma asked and Maya sighed and toyed with the end of one of her bandages.

“I only know what they told me, really. Leatherback had some type of EMP weapon and it overloaded the K-stunner. Your suit malfunctioned, took most of the overload. I got a bit too. Whatever the EMP was, it was enough to cripple Maverick Kestrel. And Striker Eureka.” Maya said, staring at the far wall.

“What happened next?” Gemma demanded. The drugs the nurse had given her for the pain were making her sleepy, but she needed to know the whole story.

“The Marshall sent in Gipsy Danger. They took down both kaijus. I was able to get us both out of the Conn-Pod, but I don’t think Maverick is getting up again.” Maya said quietly and Gemma just frowned at her.

“So the only jaeger we have left is Gipsy?”

“No. Striker was completely intact, the EMP just knocked them offline. They’ll be back in business by the end of today. But they’re the only two left. Most of Maverick is probably okay, but our Conn-Pod is completely trashed. It’ll take months to rebuild it.” Maya clarified and Gemma sat back into the bed with a sigh.

Two jaegers. In a day or two, the Breach would spit out more kaiju. Probably two more. Could they handle it? If it wasn’t a suicide mission before, it was now.

“Also, I called your father. He got your email. Made sure he knew you were still alive.” Maya said after a long stretch of silence. Gemma was glad for that. At least her father knew what was going on now. She wondered when she’d get to go home and see him. She was tired. Their jaeger was basically gone. If they managed to pull off the bomb mission it’d be a miracle. She was just done.

So much for her dream. Maybe she could still be a fighter pilot. But she figured a life out of the military would be best from now on. 

Gemma dozed off again, but before she lost all awareness she felt Maya’s hand on hers. It was comforting, that connection. Everything would be okay.

When she woke up again, the clock told her it was a little after nine the next morning. Maya was gone, but Chuck was asleep in the chair by her bed and at his feet was Max. He sat up when he saw Gemma looking at him and started pawing at Chuck’s leg. When Chuck didn’t wake up immediately, Max barked, a low sound, almost as if he didn’t want to be too loud.

“Keep it down, you little- Oh. You’re awake.” Chuck turned towards Gemma and gave her a broad grin. Max gave a little happy wiggle before sitting back down.

“Yeah. Where’s Maya?” Gemma asked and Chuck waved towards the door.

“Had to go see the doctor about her burns. She’s not as bad as you, she shouldn’t need bandages to cover them anymore. But you’ll still be in them for another day or two.” Chuck said, reaching out to take her hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. A little sore still. Were you hurt?” Gemma asked, looking him over. She didn’t notice any injuries, but it didn’t mean there weren’t any.

“I’m fine. My old man’s not so lucky. Snapped his collarbone, dislocated his shoulder and gave him a hairline fracture in his right arm.” Chuck shook his head with a sigh

“Can he still pilot?” Chuck shook his head again, looking away with a troubled frown. Gemma didn’t want to ask him what he was going to do next. It was obvious he didn’t know. Instead she leaned over and grabbed his hand. He looked back at her and she gave him a smile.

“Well, it could be worse. I’m sure it is, actually. Nobody’s told me yet - Any word on the triplets? Or Sasha and Aleksis?” Judging by the look on his face, it wasn’t good news. Gemma sighed and looked down at the blankets covering her torso.

“Rescue teams recovered Crimson Typhoon’s Conn-Pod and found Jin and Cheung both inside, dead. They found Hu a few hours later on Green Island. He’s in the Intensive Care Ward. Still critical. Nobody’s sure if he’ll pull through.” Chuck’s voice was quiet, somber in a way she’d never heard before.

“And the Kaidanovskys?”

“When divers went down to recover their bodies, they found the Conn-Pod empty. They searched around Cherno Alpha for a while, but there’s no sign of them. There’s a few teams still looking, but almost everyone is trying to recover as much of the jaegers as they can before they contaminate the water too badly.” Chuck turned the chair so it was facing Gemma. He was stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, but now he brought the hand up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to it.

“Don’t do that to me again, okay? You scared the hell out of me.” He said, his voice thick with emotion and Gemma felt tears welling up in her eyes, tears she blinked back.

“I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I can’t exactly pilot a jaeger anymore.” She pushed herself up into a sitting position, biting back a groan as she did so. Weren’t these beds supposed to be adjustable? She was tired of lying on her back.

“It should, but it doesn’t.” Chuck clearly had something on his mind. Probably those emails of hers that were sent out when she didn’t reset the timer after her drop. He leaned forward carefully and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. She could feel his breath catch every time he inhaled. He was scared.

“I’m okay. It’ll be okay.” She said quietly, resting her forehead against his and wondering wondering how she ended up trying to calm him down. Down by Chuck’s feet, Max whined softly. After a minute, Chuck took a deep breath and sat up. His eyes were reddened but the tears he was blinking away didn’t fall.

Gemma was suddenly reminded of her dreams while she was sedated. Maybe she could accept that she loved him, the part of him he only let her see. But was it possible he felt the same way?

“Yeah. You’re right. Hey. It’s alright, handsome. We’re fine. C’mere.” Chuck turned his attention to the dog, lifting Max into his lap. Max whined again, rubbing his head against Chuck’s hand until Chuck started to run it along the animal’s fur.

“Chuck...I-” Gemma opened her mouth to say those words, the ones she knew she had to say, but the door clattered open and Maya stumbled in, looking frantic.

“Chuck, they’re calling for you. More activity detected in the Breach.” Maya said breathlessly, wincing as she lost her balance and fell against the doorframe. Chuck lifted Max out of his lap and set the dog on the floor before he stood, scooping his hat up from the bedside table.

“What the hell am I supposed to do? Dad’s arm’s still broken.” Chuck said loudly but Maya shook her head.

“I have no idea. They’re just calling for you to suit up.” She said and Chuck groaned. He turned back to Gemma.

“Gem...I...I’ll see you later.” He said, putting his hat on and wrapping Max’s leash tightly around his hand. Gemma felt like he had wanted to say something else. Or was she hoping he’d say something else?

“I better.” She said, forcing her voice to be light in tone. He laughed and gave her a smile before he left the room. Gemma pushed herself up with a groan and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

“What are you doing?” Maya asked and Gemma looked around for some clothing she could put on. She wasn’t wearing much besides a hospital gown and her bandages.

“I’m not sitting in here while they’re out there fighting more kaiju. I need to know what’s going on. I don’t care if it’s in a wheelchair, you’re taking me to LOCCENT. I’ll sit in the corner if I have to.” Gemma said, finding some clothes neatly folded on the shelf outside the bathroom. It was a pair of dark blue sweats and a grey t-shirt, but they were loose enough for her to wear underneath her bandages.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Maya said, coming into the room. Gemma caught a glimpse of Maya’s arms, of the pattern the circuitry suit burned into her. They’d have similar scars, although Gemma’s covered most of her torso and limbs.

“I don’t care if it’s a good idea. I’m going.” Gemma retorted, moving carefully towards the shelf. She pulled the clothes off it and unfolded them, but it was difficult to get the gown off when she couldn’t reach behind her all that well to untie it.

“Of course you are. Here. Let me help.” Maya sighed and came over, helping Gemma dress. She had a pair of hospital slippers to wear instead of going barefoot. They weren’t ideal and she could feel the cold floor of the Shatterdome even through them and the soft cotton socks that covered her feet, but it would have to do.

“If I go get a wheelchair, the doctors will stop us. Can you walk?” Maya asked and Gemma nodded. She was determined to watch this fight. One way or another, it would be the last one.

Most of the building had been locked down by the time Maya and Gemma made it up to LOCCENT. Herc was standing at the control panel as they entered and he turned around to look at them. His eyes were red. Gemma’s heart clenched tightly in her chest - who was piloting with Chuck? Where was the Marshall?

“What are you two doing here? You should be in Medical, not-” Herc started and Tendo spun around in his chair to look at the two women.

“If you think that we’d sit in a hospital room and wait for news, you’re sadly mistaken, Hercules Hansen. We’ll keep out of the way, but we’re staying.” Maya said firmly. Tendo arched an eyebrow and looked to Herc. He just nodded sharply and turned back to the command desk.

Gemma took a seat off to the side at an empty desk. She wasn’t sure where the tech was and she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Maya stood behind her and together they silently watched the data flooding across the display as Striker Eureka and Gipsy Danger were launched. Gemma kept an eye closely on the information from Striker’s Conn-Pod, noting an interesting set of numbers across the top of the right pilot’s vital signs. M-SPEN_970.89-Q.

Christ, was Chuck Drifting with Marshall Pentecost?

Two kaiju signatures circled around the Breach, and on the map two flags- one United States flag and one Australian flag moved across the ocean towards them.

There was no radio communication from the jaegers as they travelled and the silence bothered Gemma. She could feel how tense she was, and sitting straight up in the chair did nothing to help her burns, even as healed as they were. She felt something brush by her legs and glanced down to see Max sit on her feet. He looked up at her for a moment, and then lay down across her feet with a sigh.

“Reaching target drop zone. Disengaging transports.” Tendo announced some time later, keying a few things on the board in front of him. Gemma knew they’d feel the stomach in your throat sensation just before the hit the water and then the impact would rattle them in their harnesses.

Both pilots gave confirmation that they were ready to submerge, the Marshall’s voice coming across the speakers clearly. Gemma looked up at the vital signs for Striker Eureka’s pilots again. Chuck’s heart rate and blood pressure were higher than normal, but nothing out of acceptable ranges. No, even if he was scared or nervous, which she was certain he was, he was a Ranger. One of the best. He’d do this just like he would any other drop, even if they did have a massive bomb strapped between their shoulders.

“Two actives still in circle formation in the Guam quadrant. Codenames: Scunner, Raiju. Both Category four.” Herc said, leaning over the microphone and keying it on with his good hand. Gemma started chewing the inside of her lip.

_“Roger that. Half a mile to the ocean cliff, then we jump. It’s 3000 meters to the Breach!”_ Pentecost said, his voice sounding slightly strained to Gemma’s ears. It had been a long time since he’d piloted a jaeger, but she supposed it was like riding a bicycle.

_“Half a mile? I can’t even see an inch ahead! How are we supposed to deliver the bomb?”_ That was Chuck and to his credit, he sounded more annoyed than anything. Gemma couldn’t help but crack a smile at that.

The jaegers continued forward, regardless of visibility. That was what their sensors and instruments were for.

“Sir!” Tendo shouted, pulling Herc’s attention away from one display to another. Gemma leaned forward, watching one of the kaiju signatures shoot past Gipsy Danger.

“Gipsy, you have movement on your right! Three o’clock! Three o’clock!” Herc said into the microphone.

_“Right flank’s clear, I got nothing.”_ Raleigh replied and Gemma could see the problem immediately. The kaiju was fast, faster than anything they’d see before. That in itself wasn’t exactly a surprise. A few days ago there were two kaiju, one who could spit acid and the other with some type of biological EMP. Still, speed was unsettling, especially underwater. Jaegers were hardly quick on land, with the exception of Striker Eureka, but the water would make them sluggish. Gemma didn’t like this.

“Left now! Moving fast. Fastest kaiju on record!” Tendo replied, sounding frantic. Gemma noticed her breath starting to come quicker. She could hear Maya’s fingers tapping on the back of the chair behind her. Everyone was nervous. A lot was resting on this.

_“I don’t see anything. It’s moving too fast!”_ Raleigh said. Gemma hated how she couldn’t see what was going on, just a few markers on a map. Watching underwater combat missions was always the worst.

_“Eyes on the prize, Gipsy. Six hundred meters from the drop.”_ Chuck said as they continued forward, regardless of the kaiju clearly swimming around them, waiting for an opening.

Their depth level changed suddenly, and Gemma knew they had dropped down deeper into the ocean. They were even closer to the Breach now.

_“Four hundred meters and closing.”_ Chuck’s voice came over the radio as they moved forward. Gemma tracked the kaiju markers carefully. They were on the other side of the Breach, facing off against Gipsy and Striker.

“Bogeys are stopping!” Tendo announced and Herc moved back over to the microphone.

“Striker! Bogeys are stopping. One o’clock!” He informed them and Gemma wondered what they were doing. Striker stopped as well.

_“Marshall, what are you doing?”_

_“They’re stopping! Why the hell are they stopping?”_

_“I don’t give a damn, sir! We’re three hundred meters from the jump!”_

_“Something’s not right!”_

“Striker, the bogeys aren’t following. Take the leap now!” Herc called into the microphone.

“Don’t do it! Don’t do it!” Someone shouted, running into the room. It startled Gemma and Max, who sat up to investigate. It was one of the scientists, the one who had managed to Drift with the kaiju. Newt, Gemma thought his name was.

“Move you fascist!” He shoved Herc out of the way and took up the microphone. “Blowing up the Breach is not gonna work!”

_“What do you mean? What’s not going to work?”_ Pentecost demanded and Gemma was finding it real hard to sit still and keep quiet, even though she had nothing to say that would help.

“Just because the Breach is open doesn't mean you’re going to be able to get the bomb through.” Newt started and the other scientist, the one Gemma was less familiar with, continued where Newt had left off.

“The Breach genetically reads the kaiju like a barcode at the supermarket and then lets them pass.” The two switched again and Gemma wished one of them would just spit the whole thing out and move.

“Okay, so you're going to have to fool the breach into thinking you have the same code!” Newt finally finished their joint train of thought. It was almost as if they were Drifting. And for all she knew, they could be.

_“And how are we supposed to do that?”_ Raleigh asked over the radio, Gispy Danger coming to a halt behind Striker.

“By making it think you are a kaiju.”

“You have to lock onto the kaiju and ride it into the Breach. The Throat will then read the kaiju’s genetic code and let you pass.”

“If you don’t do it, the bomb will deflect off the Breach, like it always has, and the mission will fail.” Newt was shoved aside by Herc, who took control of the microphone again.

“Now that you’ve heard all that, Striker, take the leap!” Herc ordered, but it came a second too late.

“Sir! I have a third signature emerging from the Breach!” Tendo announced and Gemma sucked in a breath. Three kaiju. It took five jaegers to take down two, and four of those jaegers were crippled or destroyed. The couldn’t take three.

“Third signature, emerging from the Breach!” Herc repeated for the pilots.

“It’s a triple event.”

“Oh God, I was right” Gemma heard from the two scientists. Her attention was torn away from them when Tendo announced the size.

“Category Five.” Tendo said, his voice wavering. Gemma froze, her blood turning to ice in her veins.

“Mother of God.” Maya breathed from behind Gemma. God wasn’t going to help them now, but Gemma didn’t have the voice to say as much.

“Striker, it’s a Category Five. First ever. Codename Slattern.”

_“Striker, we see him. We’re right behind you about a hundred meters. We’re gonna come around your three o’clock, try and flank him. Standard two team formation. Just try and keep him busy for a few minut-”_ Whatever else Raleigh had to say was cut off as Scunner darted around the Breach and slammed into Gipsy’s left side.

Immediately, damage warnings began to fill the feed, nothing major yet, but Gemma knew there would be. A second later, Striker’s display began to flash with the same data. These kaiju could hit hard and move fast in the water, a place where the jaegers were at their weakest. Striker was pushed back several meters, damage warnings and system failures flooding across the display so fast Gemma couldn’t keep track of them.

Gipsy’s display flashed as Raiju attacked from the right, shearing the arm off in one blow. Raleigh yelled in pain from inside the Conn-Pod. Scunner started tearing at Gipsy’s left leg. Raiju swam away just as fast as he approaching, dragging Gipsy’s arm with it.

_“Let’s get this son of a bitch!”_  Raleigh cried and for a moment, Scunner’s signature was right on top of Gipsy’s as they moved a little to the left. Gemma had no idea what was going on but eventually the two separated, Scunner swimming backwards from the jaeger.

“Gipsy, coming up on your twelve o’clock!” Herc called and Gemma watched Raiju’s signature coming around for another attack. “Full speed! Get out of the way!”

Raiju’s marker passed over Gipsy’s before fading grey. Somehow, those two had managed to kill it. Gemma hoped they made it back so they could tell her how, but with a crippled leg and a missing arm, it wasn’t likely.

Striker was struggling to get back on his feet and over their radio, Gemma could hear Chuck speaking.

_“The release is jammed! We can’t deliver the payload, sir! We’re still armed, but the hull has been compromised! Half our systems are offline, sir.”_

_“We need to override the -”_ Slattern slammed into Striker Eureka, and more alarms blared in LOCCENT as they registered damage to the jaeger. Gemma sat and stared, feeling like she did so many years ago, watching Trespasser tear through San Franscisco. She was useless. There was nothing she could do to save them. She was only able to watch as people died.

People she knew. People she loved.  

Striker and Slattern moved together for a time and Gemma assumed that the Marshall and Chuck were doing their best to grapple with the kaiju, but he had so much more weight and speed than they did. It wasn’t going to end well.

“Both kaijus - converging on Striker fast!” Tendo announced and Gemma found herself standing. She couldn’t stand sitting any longer.

_“Hang on, Striker. We’re comin’ to you!”_ As crippled as Gipsy was, she was still limping towards Striker, ready to fight as best they could. Gemma knew Raleigh, knew he’d go down fighting. If this was how it was to end, he’d go in a jaeger.

_“No! Gipsy, do not come to our aid! Do you copy? Stay as far back as you can!”_ The Marshall ordered and Gemma couldn’t believe her ears. They needed help. Maybe they could manage to kill one more kaiju before they both were destroyed. One was easier to nuke into oblivion than two, not that it would matter much, at the rate they were coming. End of the world, and Gemma had front row seats for it.

_“Just hang on!”_   
_“Stay as far back as you can!”_   
_“We can still reach you. We’re coming for you!”_

_“No, Raleigh, listen to me! You know exactly what you have to do! Gipsy is nuclear! Take her to the Breach!”_

_“I hear you sir. Heading for the Breach.”_

Of course. It made sense. If Gipsy rode a kaiju through the Breach, Raleigh and Mako could detonate their power plant and use the escape pods built into the Conn-Pod to get out. Striker was damaged, but their pilots could still evacuate. There was still a hope for them, for the world.

_“Mako! Listen! You can finish this. I’ll always be here for you. You can always find me in the Drift.”_

_“Striker Eureka Drift Sequence Terminated.”_ The AI announced. Someone must have taken off their helmet. Looking at the display, Gemma saw that it was the Marshall who ended the Drift. What was he doing?

_“What can we do, sir?”_

_“I can clear a path. For the lady.”_

Gemma stared at the display feeds for Striker Eureka. So many systems were damaged, it was impossible to tell if the escape pods were still usable, but it was an option Gemma hoped they would try.

_“Well my father always said...he said if you have the shot, you take it.”_   
_“Yes, yes he did.”_

_“It’s been a- hey, what the hell are you doing?”_

_“Striker Eureka Right Hemisphere Crisis Command Matrix activated.”_ The AI spoke up again and everyone in LOCCENT knew what the Marshall was doing.

“Stacker-” Herc began but more shouting came through the speakers. Chuck was having none of it.

_“You can’t do this to me. I’m not leaving my copilot.”_   
_“There’s only one pod still active, Chuck. Yours. I’m sending you home.”_

_“Too bad. I’m not leaving - hey, stop it! You son of a bitch!_ ”

_“Striker Two Lifepod Launched. Beacon activated.”_

_“I can’t promise he’ll survive the blast, but this way he still has a chance. I’m transferring command to you, Hercules. Don’t let the world forget what we’ve done here today.”_

Herc’s hand was noticeably trembling and Gemma felt a foreign wetness on her cheeks. She heard words in Japanese from Mako and then suddenly the feeds registered a massive explosion. The Beacon for Chuck’s life pod flickered for a moment, and then registered on the map miles away. The explosion had tossed it pretty far.

“Launch rescue helicopters. Herc, I’m going with.” Maya said and bolted from the room. Gemma watched her go and then turned her gaze to Herc, who looked almost completely overwhelmed. Gemma felt similar. She reached up and swiped at her cheeks, angry with herself, with her weakness. This wasn’t over yet. She stumbled forward to get a better look.

“Gipsy Danger is in critical condition, sir. Code red.” Gemma announced and Tendo turned back to his work as well. The more eyes on this, the better.

_“LOCCENT, we have the kaiju carcass. We’re heading towards the breach. You guys better be right, because one way or another, we’re getting this thing done.”_

Gipsy Danger limped towards the Breach, was so close when Slattern’s signature appeared again in front of Gipsy. How in the hell did that thing not die from the blast? That was one of the biggest bombs Gemma had ever seen in her life and the thing was still kicking.

But apparently Raleigh was just as done with this as everyone else.

_“On my count, rear jets! Three...two...one...now!”_ Gipsy Danger moved forward quickly, their signature crossing with Slattern’s and they tumbled back into the Breach. More of Gipsy’s systems indicated damage. Many went offline completely. But still they held on.

_“Hold on!”_

“Mako’s oxygen is down. Half capacity!” Tendo announced, sliding his chair from one end of the console to the other. Newt and the other scientist stumbled back, out of the way.

“Can you reroute it?” Herc asked, following the LOCCENT chief’s movements.

“I’m trying, sir.”

Gemma watched as Gipsy Danger and Slattern moved closer to the Breach, deeper into Challenger Deep. The deepest spot on the planet- it was amazing the jaeger was able to withstand so much pressure.

_“Hold on, Mako. I’m gonna burn this son of a bitch.”_

Gipsy Danger’s nuclear vortex turbine registered a purge of heat from inside the reactor. The vent was right over Slattern, had to be. They’d torch him.

“C’mon, Raleigh. You can do this. “ Gemma said, clenching her fists together. Raleigh could do this. Gipsy Danger could do this. Finish the mission.

Thanks to the slower satellite feed now that the sensors placed around the Breach had been blown away, Slattern’s signature faded out slowly. But he was still gone. And that was a triumph itself. The first Category Five kaiju, slain by a crippled Mark Three jaeger.

“They’re in!” Tendo said as soon as Gipsy disappeared through the Breach. Gemma inhaled deeply, wondering what he was seeing, but hoping he didn’t stick around long enough to find out.

_“Oxygen main, left hemisphere, critical levels. Operating at fifteen percent capacity. Ten percent.”_ The AI announced and Gemma looked to the instruments and watched as the oxygen levels for Mako dropped rapidly.

“He’s giving her his oxygen!”

Gemma wanted to laugh. Of course he would. Any copilot would. As soon as he disconnected his line, the AI began alerting them about his lack of oxygen, but Raleigh wouldn’t care.

_“It’s okay now, Mako. We did it. I can finish this alone. All I have to do is fall. Anyone can fall.”_ Gemma felt more pain in her chest at his words. Had he fallen for Mako?

“Raleigh, your oxygen levels are critical now. YOu don’t have much time. Start the core meltdown and get out of there. Do you hear me? Get out of there now!” Tendo said and Gemma was amazed that there even could be communication between the two worlds.

_“Gipsy Two Lifepod launched. Beacon activated.”_

“Just one pod ejected. Still no detonation, sir.” Tendo sand and Herc slammed his hand on the desk and moved over to the microphone.

“Just give him time, he can do it!” Gemma said, and as if Raleigh could hear her, he radioed them again.

_“LOCCENT, if you can still hear me, I’m initiating reactor override now.”_

But nothing happened.

“What’s going on?”

“Trigger’s offline! He has to do it by hand!”

Of course he did. That’s how it always went in the movies, didn't it? Life never gave you the easy way out, and the damage Gipsy had sustained would make it impossible for them to tell much of anything about the jaeger. A feeling of warmth, of calm came over Gemma. She probably looked crazy, but she didn’t care. Not anymore. Raleigh was the hero of this story, the hero with the Macintosh Powerbook.

It was either that or Raleigh was going to die on the other side of the Breach without detonating the bomb and the world would end, but Gemma had faith. He piloted a jaeger through solo combat, he could detonate his reactor and escape. Compared to struggling with a kaiju, making his way across the relatively small Conn-Pod to the manual switch was a walk in the park.

“He’s out of time. He has to self-destruct now.” Newt said frantically and Gemma just rolled her eyes. Raleigh would do it.

_“Manual override initiated. Core meltdown in T-minus sixty.”_ He sounded out of breath, sounded like he was struggling, but Gemma was right. He could accomplish it. She held her breath- could he escape?

_“Gipsy Danger Reactor Meltdown in fifty-five seconds.”_ The AI kept a count for everyone in LOCCENT. There was nothing anyone could do now but watch.

_“Gipsy One Lifepod Launched. Beacon Activated.”_

Gemma let out her breath. He was going to make it. He had to. Just this once, everything had to go right. She had never asked for much from the universe, all things considered. But just this once…

_“Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Reactor Meltdown.”_

Gipsy Danger’s nuclear reactor detonated and the explosion spread through the Breach. On the display they all watched as the Breach disintegrated.

“Direct hit! The Breach has collapsed!” Tendo announced to everyone in the room and the sound in the room became deafening as everyone cheered.

“Any word on the choppers?” Herc demanded and Gemma stumbled over to a desk that was vacated thanks to a tech cheering. She pulled on the headset and started looking for the communications channel for the rescue teams.

_“Is anyone over there paying attention? This is Ranger Maya Cadle!”_  
“Maya! What’s going on?” Gemma keyed the radio channel up to be broadcast over the main speakers.  
 _“We’ve located Striker’s pod. His long range communications array was burned out, and the pod is in terrible shape, but we can hear him in there. If he’s bitching, he’s breathing, as they say.”_

Herc stepped forward, changing the channel on the main microphone so he could speak as well. “Break off into two groups. We’ve got two more pods coming up about fifteen miles away from your location. Any injuries are to be taken to the United States Naval Base on Guam immediately.”

_“Roger that, LOCCENT You heard the man - Rescue Team Gipsy, take your group, split off. Go get your Rangers. I’ve got this one.”_ There was an exasperated laugh from Maya. “ _Good God, I hope you didn’t teach the kid these words, Hansen.”_

“Visuals on first pod. Vitals are good.” Gemma moved closer to wait. It wasn’t time to celebrate until they could recover everyone. The first pod would be Mako’s. Raleigh’s would be right behind. Copilots didn’t leave each other.

Unless you were Stacker Pentecost, apparently, but Gemma couldn’t find it in herself to mind in the slightest. She probably should, but the man had made sure that Chuck lived. She wasn’t sure why. To almost everyone, Chuck was an arrogant jerk who was rude to most and barely tolerable to some, but the Marshall had seen fit to save his life. She’d be glad for that, whatever the reason was.

“Where’s the second pod?”

“I’m tracking it, but I’m getting no vital signs.”

No, that couldn’t be right. Raleigh had to make it through this too. He was the hero. A moment later, the second pod surfaced, but it was still reading no vitals. Had it been damaged somehow? Gemma found herself holding her breath again.

_“I can’t find his pulse!”_ Mako announced and Gemma felt panic. C’mon, Raleigh, don’t do this. _“I don’t think he’s breathing. Raleigh?”_

Gemma heard Herc talking quietly, but she was focused on the sounds of distress coming from Mako. They had grown so close in a matter of days. Their Drift was strong. And Gemma didn’t want to think about how Mako would feel if she lost the man who raised her and her copilot on the same day.

“Mako, listen to me. It could be the sensors are not working. We can’t be sure.” Tendo’s voice was trying to be reassuring, but there was a tinge of desperate hope to it as well. On the other end, Mako had started sobbing. Tendo tried to get her attention, tried to calm her down, but nothing was working.

_“You’re squeezing me too tight.”_ The voice was muffled and straight, but definitely Raleigh. The tightness in Gemma’s chest eased. _“I couldn’t breathe.”_

Gemma was going to break his goddamn jaw for making her worry like that. She let out a few shaky breaths and allowed herself to smile.

“This is Marshall Hercules Hansen.” Herc had stepped up to the microphone again and Gemma pushed herself to her feet. Suddenly, she was exhausted. “The Breach is sealed. Stop the clock!”

If Gemma thought the cheering was loud before, she wasn’t sure what to think now. The war clock on the wall behind them changed its display to zero before adding in bold letters ‘DEACTIVATED’.

Max started barking, trying to get someone’s attention. She looked and saw him at Herc’s feet, practically bouncing with the power of his voice. Herc grinned when he looked down at the dog, and then the man turned her attention to Gemma.

She moved around the desk she was at, heading towards him. He was the Marshall now,but she couldn’t find it in herself to care too much at this moment when she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face into his chest, laughing and crying at the same time. She felt the rumble of his own laugh, felt his arms wrap around her shoulders and squeeze her gently. She didn’t even mind that it hurt.

“You need to get back to Medical. If he finds out I let you in here when you should be resting, he’ll have my head.” Herc said when she stepped away, aware that she shouldn’t be embracing her commanding officer. At least not in public.

“Yes, sir. Keep me updated.” Carefully, Gemma bent over and picked up the end to Max’s leash.

Gemma made her way towards the door, picking her way carefully through the crowd. She wanted to stay and celebrate, but Herc was right. She was tired, she was injured and she wanted to go have a good cry in peace. It’d been years since she’d allowed herself. It was time to let it all out.

The LOCCENT doors opened for her and beyond them stood two more surprises. Sasha and Aleksis stood, looking absolutely terrible, in half burned drivesuits and covered in dirt and who knew what else. But their faces, though pinched and weary, were happy. A bottle of what Gemma could only assume was vodka dangled from Sasha’s fingertips.

“You didn’t intend to start the party without us, did you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I had planned to make this into one long story, dealing with the events of the movie and beyond, but I've decided to make the beyond part into its own separate story. We still have a chapter or two to go with this one so I can tie things up, but there are more adventures to be had in part two: 'Tell 'Em We're Survivors'! Adventures may include weddings, babies (both planned and unplanned), a couple who don't quite know how to talk to each other (and it's not Gemma and Chuck!), meeting the family, violence of a graphic nature, and the scariest one of all: buying a house!
> 
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr at the url below!
> 
> ladylaiacona.tumblr.com


	13. Hong Kong Shatterdome, January 12th, 2025 - January 30th, 2025

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kaiju are gone, but there are still problems that the PPDC has to deal with. Life does go on though, and the Rangers are ready to move on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're approaching the end, folks! Fear not, there's another story coming, dealing with life after kaiju, as I promised at the end of the last chapter. Expect an epilogue for this, and then we'll be moving into that one, along with a small bridge piece titled 'The Parting Glass', so stick around! 
> 
> Also, sorry for taking so long with this. No excuses, I'm just lazy.

It seemed silly to say, but things were different after that. In her dream, her brother had been right. All her memories had been tinged with blue, but now things were in sunny shades, despite the drab grey of the Shatterdome.

Chuck, Raleigh and Mako were all taken to the nearby U.S. Naval Base for treatment, as it was the closest facility for the severity of their injuries. Chuck had taken the worst of it, with several bruised ribs, muscle strains along his back, a fractured collarbone of his own, drivesuit burns and a ruptured spleen causing internal bleeding on top of the healthy dose of radiation. The blast had shaken him around in his pod violently, but all things considered, it could have been worse. All of his injuries were easily treatable.

Raleigh and Mako came out of it with some drivesuit burns and bruises and some muscle strains, typical injuries for piloting a jaeger that sustained as much damage as Gipsy Danger did. They too had radiation exposure, but nowhere near as much as Chuck did, and it was likely from exposure from Gipsy Danger’s reactor. Nothing serious though, just enough to make them feel a little sick for a while.

Several PPDC doctors were flown to the Naval Base to assist with the treatment of the Rangers, but Gemma wasn’t allowed to go along. Originally, it was simply orders by Doctor White, which she planned to ignore, but the doctor went over her head to the Marshall. And despite the relationship they had, Hercules Hansen put his foot down and ordered her to stay put.

It was driving her crazy though, not knowing anything except what messages Maya sent to her. Tendo had brought her a tablet a few hours after she returned to her hospital room and agreed to take Max out for a walk since the nurses were now on alert for her escape attempts. Her copilot was hundreds of miles away, along with her boyfriend and her friends, and she had to wait for updates when Maya got them, instead of being there to know immediately.

She did stop to think though, about how Herc had to feel. His copilot, his son, his only child, was hundreds of miles away, injured and undergoing medical treatments while he was stuck here as the new Marshall. Gemma wasn’t quite sure that Pentecost thought that one through. But Gemma decided to stop making things harder and sat quietly in her room. For an hour or two, at least. Her orders were not to leave the Medical wing. They said nothing about staying in her room.

Sasha and Aleksis had been taken to Medical immediately for treatment of their injuries. Nothing too severe except for some radiation exposure from their own reactor, but it was mild enough that no one was overly concerned about it. It was slightly more than their typical exposure from the reactor during any drop and nothing their daily dose of metharocin couldn’t handle. Still, the doctors had wanted them to remain for observation, despite most of their injuries being something that anyone with an ice pack and a well stocked first aid kit could handle on their own. Or, as the Russians had dealt with for three days, some vodka and a cold, dark warehouse where they could rest. Nobody really knew where the vodka came from.

Gemma knocked on the door to their room, wondering if they were resting. The light was on, filtering through the blinds covering the window in the door. She heard a voice - Aleksis - telling her to enter. So she turned the doorknob and stepped inside.

There were two beds in the room, but the two of them occupied only one. Both were sitting up in bed, Sasha sitting between her husband’s legs where it looked like he was putting the finishing touches on the braids in her platinum blonde hair. Her right hand was in a cast up to her elbow, the plaster around it a stark white in contrast to the darker color of their clothes. They had refused the clothing the hospital had wanted them to wear.

“I just wanted to come see how you two were doing.” Gemma said quietly, closing the door behind her. Sasha turned and smiled, nodding her head towards the chair against the wall.

“We are alive, thanks to you. Our injuries will heal with time.” She replied and Gemma took the chair, sitting down in it carefully. The doctors had told her that tomorrow they might take the bandages off, depending on how healed the burns were. It felt like a bad sunburn now, like someone had painted her body with sunscreen, leaving deliberate stripes empty to allow for a burn. She’d had sunburns before, knew how to handle them. Loose clothing and careful movements for a few days, along with plenty of aloe vera gel.

“It was nothing the others wouldn’t have done, given the opportunity. I’d do it all again if I had to.” She told them and they knew it was true. Rangers looked out for each other.

“All the same. Thank you.” Aleksis said, his voice quite deep. People who didn’t know him often found him scary when he spoke (it also had something to do with his size) but Gemma found his presence comforting. She had no idea what he did before he became a Ranger, but now that he was one, he’d look out for her the same way she did for them.

“Your copilot. She is with the others, yes?” Sasha asked, shifting her position to face Gemma better. Gemma was always amazed with the woman’s skills with a makeup brush. Her lips weren’t the same blood red that she wore into battle, instead wearing a more muted red that for some reason seemed like a mourning color. Other women would use makeup to hide the bruises and scrapes as best the could, but Sasha didn’t cover them up. If anything, Sasha chose colors for her eyes that accentuated the bruising along her temple and the side of her jaw.

“Yeah. She fished Chuck out of the ocean after Striker Eureka blew since Herc-Marshall Hansen couldn’t go himself.” Calling Hercules ‘Marshall’ would take some getting used to. She had to remember that he was her commanding officer now and she had to show some kind of respect for that. Not that he wanted it.

“Is it hard, being separated? Your bond is different.” Sasha fiddled with her cast, looking down at the blank white plaster. Gemma wondered if she would be allowed to sign it. She loved signing casts.

“Aren’t they all? But yeah, it’s hard. Especially being injured. I keep feeling pain and wondering if she’s alright. I must have sent her about fifty messages asking.” Gemma was currently taking some decent pain relievers, so it wasn’t actually that much of an issue, but occasionally, her left arm would ache more than she thought it would and would send a quick instant message to Maya to check.

“For a day, I could not find him, but I could feel his pain through our bond. It lead me to him.” Sasha explained and Gemma looked over Aleksis. Most of his injuries had been to his torso, but Gemma hadn’t been told what they were. She didn’t ask as it wasn’t really her place.

“I’m really surprised you guys lived. Three days in a cold warehouse with just a little rainwater? Are you sure you didn’t sell your souls?” Gemma joked and both smiled.

“We have not sold our souls to the devil as some have claimed.” Aleksis reached under his shirt and pulled out a chain from underneath his shirt. Alongside his dog tags hung a gleaming gold Orthodox cross. Gemma didn’t doubt that Sasha had an identical one hanging on the chain around her neck. “But we have put our faith in a higher power.”

“At the end, we knew that our jaeger was done. The fight was over. It was built with the mindset that we win or we die, but death in combat...it’s honorable, but a bad death. At the end, we prayed. And you came.” Aleksis elaborated, slipping the chain back underneath his shirt. With how extremely private the two of them were, Gemma felt honored that they’d share this with her. Religion had never been a big part of her life, just going to church on Sundays at her mother’s insistence and praying at mealtimes, but most of that had stopped when her mother had left. Gemma’s belief in a higher power had pretty much disappeared when the kaiju appeared anyways. But the faith that the Russians had, that someone would save them, and that someone was her…

It left Gemma with an odd feeling in her chest. It was one she couldn't tell if she liked or not.

The conversation continued and Gemma learned more about her fellow Rangers. She asked about becoming pilots together and learned they hated each other at first, but their scores were similar so the Academy had decided to make them Drift anyways. The rest was history, as they say. They were married in early 2016, an event Gemma remembered hearing about. The media had been disappointed that it was a private event.

Sasha had begun asking about the rumors around Gemma and Chuck’s relationship, making Gemma blush at some of them, when there was a commotion out in the hallway. All three of them were on their feet immediately to investigate. Despite their injuries, they were still quick to respond.

The words being shouted Gemma didn’t understand, but the tone of it she did. The words were filled with pain, with loss. Leaning against one of the walls, Hu Wei had woken and made it out of his bed, and with the way his arm was bleeding, it appeared he had ripped his IV out. Several doctors and nurses were trying to get him to return to his room, but despite his injuries he was putting up a fight. He was only going to end up hurting himself further. Gemma and Sasha kept back but Aleksis moved forward carefully, speaking in Cantonese.

“He is looking for his brothers. He doesn't understand why they are not in the room with him, thinks the doctors are keeping them separated.” Sasha translated, her face sad.

“Someone should have been sitting with him. He shouldn’t have woken up alone.” Gemma replied, watching as Aleksis convinced Hu to return to his bed.

“Aleksis will sit with him. He may not know what it’s like to lose a Drift partner, but he does know what it’s like to lose a brother.” Sasha told her. Gemma knew a thing or two about that as well, but she figured Aleksis would be enough. Gemma looked down when Sasha looped her good arm through Gemma’s

“Let us go sit and talk as well. Perhaps I can distract you until the others return.” Sasha gave Gemma a friendly smile and Gemma gave the older woman a warm smile in return. Despite the loss of two of the three Wei Tang triplets, Gemma felt like life was starting to look up. And how could it not? The kaiju were gone.

* * *

 

“How is he?” Herc’s voice sounded tired, even over the phone. Maya glanced into the private hospital room at Chuck Hansen. He was awake, his face pale and he was staring at the wall in front of him, a far off look in his eyes.

“Well, the surgery went well enough. The anti-radiation drugs aren’t treating him so well, but Raleigh and Mako are having issues there too. He hasn’t spoken to anyone though, not even the doctors. I think he’s in pain, but won’t tell anyone.” Maya replied, taking another peek. Chuck wasn’t even acknowledging that she was there.

“Has he said anything since you hauled him up?”

“He asked me if there was a second pod launch from Striker. I told him there wasn’t. He cursed the whole way here and was combative with the medics and the doctors. They put him under for surgery to repair the damage, and he hasn’t said a word since he woke up. Raleigh says its the Drift shock, and I’m inclined to believe him. How many others felt the death of their copilot?” Maya moved down the hallway so Chuck wouldn’t hear her through the open door. She wasn’t even sure if he was actually listening. It was like he was living in his own head. It worried her.

“Hu woke up a few hours ago. Ended up tearing half his stitches out looking for his brothers. He took it well when he was told, but he hasn’t said much either. Raleigh have anything else to say about it?”

Maya ducked around a couple of nurses moving down the hall and made her way towards the lounge, where the doctors had assured her she’d be welcome to their coffee if she wanted. She’d had several cups so far, along with some light painkillers she obtained from one of the nurses. Nothing narcotic, of course, she had a responsibility here. Her burns were still sore, but definitely better than they had been. Maya wanted some of that gel to keep in her first aid kit for kitchen burns.

“He said to give him time. It’s not exactly the same situation though, is it? As far as I could tell, Pentecost didn’t much like Chuck.” Maya poured herself another cup and added a large amount of sugar to it. She’d need it to keep awake for at least a few more hours.

“Not really, no. How about Mako and Raleigh?”

“Both in good spirits. Mako had a bit of a cry earlier, which is to be expected, but they’re both doing well. They’ve been playing checkers for hours and getting nowhere. Had to break up a bit of snogging earlier. They’re supposed to be taking it easy, not screwing each other when I turn my back.” Maya smiled a bit when she remembered opening the door to find Mako in Raleigh’s lap. Both had looked at her like a couple of teenagers caught in the act.

“Ah, let ‘em. They saved the planet, its the least we can do.”

“In the Shatterdome, where we control who sees what, I don’t much care, but I figured I’d make sure nothing untoward gets out before we let it. Speaking of, how are things on your end?” Maya made her way back towards the hallway her charges were in. Raleigh and Mako were asleep in one bed, Raleigh wrapped around Mako like she was a life preserver. Chuck though, he was still staring at the wall.

“Terrible. Tendo helped me put together our official statement, but I’ve got the UN breathing down my neck about our unauthorized use of a nuclear device and I think they’ve started in on an investigation as to where we got something so big to begin with. Russia, China and the US are demanding to know the status of their Rangers and aren’t happy with my refusal to let anyone on or off the base at the moment. I give it another six hours before the cults start giving us death threats.”

Maya sighed and glanced around. This was a military base, so they were reasonably safe here, but Maya was prepared to fend off any annoying government liaisons if she had to.

“I’ve done a bit of public affairs work before. If the doctors clear Chuck for travel, I’ll be happy to assist you when we get back. In the meantime, stay strong. And get some sleep. Politics can wait.” Maya replied, leaning against the wall. As soon as the conversation was done she intended on going into the room to sit with Chuck, even if he didn’t speak.

“I’ll do my best. Just….keep an eye on my boy for me, would you?”

Maya smiled even though Herc couldn’t see it. He didn’t even need to ask.

“Of course. I know you want to be here for him. Hopefully you’ll see him tomorrow evening.” The call ended shortly after that and Maya stepped into the room. Chuck didn’t turn to look at her but she settled herself into the chair at the bedside anyways and went to her tablet. Five messages from Gemma which she had to reply to before the girl started to panic. There was a news application that had pushed several notifications onto the taskbar as well, and Maya looked to those.

More initial reports of Operation Pitfall. Nobody in Hong Kong had released all the information yet, as it was still being compiled, terabytes of mission data still needed to be collected. The nuclear blast from Striker Eureka had triggered a bit of a panic from most countries when they picked up the detonation on seismic equipment and satellite feeds. She could understand their concern.

Her tablet chimed softly and she looked at the new notification and blinked in surprise. It was an instant message on a messaging app, and it wasn’t from Gemma.

**MReed83:** Maya? Please tell me you’re still here.

**MReed83:** I just saw the news about your jaeger.

**MReed83:** I just saw the news about everything, actually.

**RangerCadle:** We’re still here.

**MReed83:** Oh Thank God. What’s happening?

**RangerCadle:** I’m not really at liberty to say.

**MReed83:** Is it really over? Can you say that much?

**RangerCadle:** The official statement says as much, yes.

**RangerCadle:** I’d like to tell you more, you know that, but I can’t until we’ve released all the information.

**MReed83:** I know. I’m just glad you’re safe. Will you be coming home soon?

Maya wasn’t sure how to answer that. The answer was more than likely no, since she couldn’t imagine being away from Gemma. It wasn’t as simple as ‘well, war’s over. time to pack up and go home’. She wanted to, sure, but with Gemma in tow. And probably not for very long. She’d gotten used to LA, with the sunny weather and the beaches. Maybe she’d move somewhere similar, perhaps along the East Coast of the US, away from all the kaiju contamination.

**RangerCadle:** Most likely, no. Still lots to do.

**MReed83:** Surely you aren’t needed? You deserve time off. You haven’t had a vacation since you joined the Academy.

**RangerCadle:** Maybe I’ll visit when we’re done, but I do have my copilot to worry over.

Maya couldn’t tell him about their injuries, as much as she’d like to. No sense risking any information being stolen from the tablet.

**MReed83:** I’m sure she wants to go home too.

**RangerCadle** : We’ll go together when this is all over. Can’t separate us now.

Mark hadn’t made it to Drift testing. He didn’t understand the bond between copilots. He couldn’t understand. And maybe five years with just occasional communications had been good for Maya. She’d gotten over her obviously unrequited love for the man. Sure, she had fallen in love with another man who’d later died for the cause, but the chapter of her life involving Mark Reed was over.

Something new was beginning with an Australian man, but she squashed that thought quickly. No sense jumping the gun there. The thought of imminent death could do strange things to people, and now that the war was over, she’d have to see where she stood with Hercules, but she figured it was just a casual relationship. Plus, with his injured child and a new position of leadership, he wouldn’t much have time for her.

She tried to ignore the bit of sadness that came over her at that thought.

**RangerCadle:** Listen, I’ve got some things I need to keep an eye on. I can’t chat now. I’ll call when I can.

**RangerCadle:** Give the kids love from me.

**MReed83:** Of course. They do miss you. Be careful coming home.

Maya closed the application and turned her attention to Chuck for a moment. It appeared that he had fallen asleep, so she set her tablet aside and stood. Leaning over him, she tugged the blanket higher around his torso and made sure his feet were still covered. Blankets were rarely made for tall people, and he was a tall kid, taller than her by a few inches and taller than Gemma by almost a foot.

She pressed the back of her hand against his forehead gently. The doctors were worried about a chance of fever, and he was a little warm, but the readings on the monitor next to him told her it wasn’t anything to worry about. All his vitals were normal for someone who had survived what he had. So she didn’t have anything to worry about on that end. His silence was troubling though.

“You’ve a good heart, Chuck. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.” She said quietly but loud enough for him to hear in case he was just feigning sleep. Returning to her seat, Maya tugged the blanket from behind her and wrapped herself in it as well and wrapped it around herself. It was going to be a long night, she imagined.

Despite the coffee, she nodded off, her head resting against the high back of the chair. She was aware of one of the night nurses coming in to check on her patient but otherwise she rested and hoped that back in Hong Kong Herc was doing the same. And Gemma. The girl better be resting. It had been a long day for everyone.

Maya woke up a few hours later to the sounds of Chuck trying to climb out of bed. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, pushing the blanket aside so she could stand up and help him.

“Are you trying to get to the bathroom? Let me help you.” She said and he scowled at her.

“You gonna hold it for me too? I can do it.” He said hotly. Well, at least he was speaking now. Regardless, Maya moved over and helped him. She was actually surprised he was moving about with how much pain he had to be in, but then again, the doctors would have given him the good stuff. A broken collarbone was no joke.

“I’d prefer not to. At least let me help you to the door. I’m not explaining to your father why you have even more bruises.” Maya said, coming up to his side and looping an arm around his waist. He was big, two hundred pounds of muscle, but Maya was no slouch herself, so assisting him to the small en suite wasn’t much of an issue, even though he sounded like he was grumbling the whole way, trailing his IV stand with him. At least all the monitoring equipment used these days were wireless.

Getting him back to bed was easier, but helping him back onto it was a little more difficult. In the end they managed, but he appeared to be in more pain despite the medication. It was only five AM, but Maya thought about calling the nurse for more.

They didn’t speak again for a while after that. Maya wanted to, but she wasn’t exactly sure what to say. There was always small talk. She could tell him how Gemma was doing, show him the pictures Gemma had sent of Max curled up at the foot of her bed, waiting. Surely he was concerned about his dog and his girlfriend? But it didn’t seem right.

“So why are you here then? Surely Becket and Mori would be better company.” Chuck muttered and Maya resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Because I’m worried about you? Because your father worries about you? Because the only way we managed to get out of physically restraining your girlfriend was when I agreed to stay here to watch over you? Take your pick. Becket and Mori are just fine.” Maya replied easily, raising an eyebrow at him. She wasn’t going to have any of his attitude, even injured. He stared back for a moment and then looked away.

“I’m not going to pretend to know what’s going on in your head. I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you’ve Drifted with, but there is someone in the next room who might. And he’ll listen if you want.” Maya leaned back in her chair and picked up her tablet again, simply for something to do while she waited for whatever abrasive thing he had to say next. She didn’t have to wait long.

“I really doubt either of them want to talk to me. I picked a fight with one and got the other’s father killed.” He mumbled and Maya didn’t even look up from her news article.

“If you really think either of them hate you for it, you’re an idiot. There are these things called words that us civilized people use to communicate. I know you’re Australian, but it can’t be too hard for you.” Maya replied, scrolling down to read more. Chuck went quiet again. He didn’t speak when the doctor came in that morning to check on him. At least, not that Maya heard. She stepped outside to give them a little privacy.

The doctor did pull her aside to tell her that Chuck would be cleared to travel by that afternoon. Raleigh and Mako were already given the go-ahead, but they had refused to leave until Chuck could go with them. Maya went to find the pair and found them in the lounge, drinking coffee out of styrofoam cups and giggling over something.

“Good to see the two of you in better spirits.” Maya remarked when they entered. Raleigh’s grin got bigger while Mako ducked her head, shoulders shaking as she tried to quiet down.

“Surviving the end of the world can do that to you, I guess. Any news?” Raleigh asked, nudging Mako with his elbow. She glanced over at them and they both dissolved into more giggles and Maya couldn’t help but grin with them. To be young again.

“Chuck should be ready to travel back to the Shatterdome by this afternoon. Before we go, the two of you should talk with him. Before he has to pretend for everyone else that he’s alright. You know how men are.” Maya made herself busy with another cup of coffee for herself. Raleigh didn’t protest her comment about men. Instead, the both of them stood up.

“You sure that’s a good idea? Last time we spoke face to face I sort of punched him.” Raleigh said and at least he looked ashamed over the incident.

“So don’t punch him this time.” Maya shook her head and left the room with a sigh. It was still early in Hong Kong, but chances were Herc was up so she could update him.

“Maya! I was just about to call. I’ve sent some transports to you. There’s been several threats, and I don’t trust the Americans to protect you like we can here. As soon as you can move, I want you back here.”

Maya abandoned her coffee and made her way to Raleigh and Mako’s room, but it seemed like the pair had decided to take her advice and go talk to Chuck. At least they were together. She went to double check and found the door closed.

“We can probably leave as soon as they get here. I was told he’d be cleared for travel by this afternoon. I don’t see how a few hours early could hurt.” Maya peeked in through the window and found the three of them in the room and breathed a sigh of relief.

“I don’t know if it’s serious, but I’d rather not risk it. We’ve already begun investigating, with the help of the local government, so hopefully we’ll find out one way or another soon. Christ, Stacker is lucky he’s dead. I’d kill him myself for putting all this on me.”

“All three of them are together, and I’ll keep an eye out, let security know. Relax. How much trouble can there be this early?” Maya watched as Mako reached out and took Chuck’s hand. She couldn’t see the girl’s face, but judging by Chuck’s expression, she was saying something heartfelt.

“Don’t even start. Just get back here.”

“Yes, of course. I’d call you sir, but you’d like that too much.”

* * *

 

Gemma was released from the Medical wing of the Shatterdome that morning, with the orders to take it easy for the next week until she healed completely. Sasha and Aleksis were cleared as well, and the two returned to their own room for a while, but Gemma made her way outside with Max on his leash. The sun was shining through some mid-morning clouds. All in all, it was a nice day and she let Max wander around, pulling her from place to place so he could sniff on things and of course, mark his territory.

The grassed area between the fence and the Shatterdome itself wasn’t very large but on the far edge Gemma could see out over the harbor. Crews were still recovering the pieces of the jaegers that had fallen and were doing their best to clean up the damage from fuel leaks. The Mark Fours were non-nuclear and their fuel leaks were easier to clean up, but there was some radioactive contamination from Cherno Alpha’s breached reactor.

Not to mention all the kaiju blood that was splashed around.

Max barked to get her attention and she looked down at him and then in the direction he was looking. An MP was approaching her and she groaned. She wasn’t being confined to her room now, was she?

“Ranger, I have to ask you to step back inside. It’s not safe for you out here.” He didn’t look much older than she was, but he had a gun on his hip and a serious expression so she didn’t argue. She wasn’t sure why it wasn’t safe, so she figured she’d go bug her brand new Marshall about it.

Just as Gemma was nearing the door into the building, Max barked again, this time in a pitch she hadn’t heard from the dog before. He was tugging on the leash now, pulling her as hard as he could towards the door.

“Slow down, we’ll get there. Does somebody have something - “

Gemma’s words were cut off by the sound of an explosion up by the main gate into the facility. She ducked, crouching down, pulling howling bulldog into her chest to shield him. She felt the MP escorting her cover her with his torso and dust and the smell of smoke washed over her.

“Get inside now!” The MP shouted, pushing her towards the door. She didn’t have to be told twice, bolting for the door as fast as her legs could take her. What the hell was going on?

That was the first thing she shouted when she spotted Herc Hansen, who was followed by a half dozen of the Shatterdome security force and both the Kaidanovskys. She still hadn’t put Max down but he didn’t seem to mind. He kept trying to lick her face.

“I didn’t think they’d move this soon. Goddamn cultists are pissed off with us. You stay with them. Do not leave the building again, am I clear?” He was using his newfound Marshall voice (or the voice Gemma had heard him use when he wasn’t happy with Chuck), pointing at Sasha and Aleksis.

“Yes sir.” She nodded and Herc moved on, shouting more orders as he went.

Looks like things weren’t quite over after all. It shouldn’t be her problem, not really. She wasn’t trained to fight people. She was trained to fight kaiju, but since the kaiju were gone…

Well, she was in the market for a new job, wasn’t she?

* * *

 

Maya saw the damage from the explosion as her helicopter circled over the Shatterdome, waiting for permission to land. She was in the transport with Raleigh and Mako, giving up space so the doctors could travel with the more injured Ranger. At first, she hadn’t minded the arrangement, but after word of a car bomb exploding at the gate to the Shatterdome, she needed to get inside, to find out what was happening.

“It doesn’t look like we’re any safer here.” Raleigh said quietly and Maya got a closer look.

“They never actually breached the first gate. Likely they were stopped at the checkpoint by security and when they were asked to turn around, they blew their bomb.” Maya wouldn’t know for certain until they got inside.

“Security will be tighter now. Chances are, they will close the road leading to the gate.” Mako replied and Maya figured she’d know more about procedure than anyone else around would. Her father was Marshall of various Shatterdomes over the years, chances were she’d picked up on it. Or hell, maybe even read the manual.

“Regardless, the two of you get inside and head to Medical to check in. Keep an eye on Chuck too, I’m going to find the Marshall.” She said and their helicopter touched down. The flight crews opened the doors and Maya was the first one out.

She found Herc in LOCCENT, after having to muscle her way past a couple of overzealous security guards who wouldn’t accept the flashing of her badge as enough authorization to get in.

“Everyone’s home, Marshall. What’s the situation?” Maya announced and Herc turned around to greet her. He hadn’t shaved today and even though she knew it wasn’t possible, he looked grayer than he did just yesterday. And how much sleep had he gotten?

“Some extremists, angry at us for sealing the breach, sent a suicide bomb up to the gate. They were hoping to be let in the compound and inside, but when they didn’t get that far they just blew their explosives anyways. The Hong Kong police have a few leads already. They’re working fast.” He told her and Maya noticed that all the feeds, used for tracking jaegers, had been repurposed into video feeds from the ‘dome’s various security cameras.

“The kaiju cults were big here, especially after they built that temple up around what was left of Reckoner. I’m not surprised they moved this fast. What are we doing?” Maya observed the data flowing across the displays.

“All strike troops have been ordered to stand guard at the entrances and exits. Air traffic over the Shatterdome itself has been restricted and I’m not allowing anyone in, although the UN representatives are not happy about that decision.” Herc shrugged his shoulders, as if he couldn’t really care if they liked it or not. Maya wasn’t too bothered by their feelings about the situation either.

“Go see your son. I can handle things here for a little while.” She told him and he nodded, giving one last look to the security cameras before he left.

* * *

 

Once again ignoring the doctor’s wishes, Gemma brought Max into the Medical wing to see Chuck. She didn’t think she’d seen either so happy when she lifted the trembling mass of fur onto the bed. Max immediately made a beeline for Chuck’s face, but she kept hold of his collar so none of Chuck’s injuries would get trampled on.

“Hey, handsome. Missed me, did you?” Chuck leaned forward and with his good arm he scratched underneath the dog’s chin. Max decided that since he couldn’t lick the face, the hand was good enough.

“Of course he did. I’m not quite the same. I don’t feed him from my plate at dinner.” Gemma grinned and let go of the dog’s collar when he settled down to accept Chuck’s petting.

“No, you’re not the same, are you?” Chuck looked up at her and he seemed happy, despite what Maya had initially told her. Gemma had been worried about him, but his mood seemed to have brightened a bit.

“I’ll leave chewing on boots to him.” Gemma shrugged and Max whined and pawed at Chuck’s leg, trying to climb onto his lap.

“He’s pretty smart though. Seemed to know that explosion outside the gate was gonna happen before it did. He was trying to pull me inside.” Gemma took the chair beside his bed, dragging it closer so she could reach the dog as well. Max settled into Chuck’s side, curling up at his hip and resting his head on Chuck’s leg.

“Did he now?” Chuck leaned back again with a wince and Gemma was wondering how much pain he was in. He was really bruised and battered, and Maya had told her about the surgery to repair his spleen. The radiation probably didn’t help things either, although the repercussions for that were probably going to be seen a little farther down the road.

“He’s a good guard dog. Wouldn’t leave my side after I got inside, even started barking at some people when they got too close. Sasha and Aleksis thought it was adorable.” Gemma tried to look him over without being obvious about it. His arm was in a sling to support it while his collarbone healed and the IV drip in his arm continued to administer the anti-radiation drugs.

“Wait. They’re alive?” He asked and it didn’t occur to Gemma that he didn’t know.

“Yeah. Walked right into LOCCENT, bottle of vodka in their hands. I don’t know how they did it, but they’re alive.” Gemma said and Chuck gave a sigh of relief.

“Good. That’s...good. Any news on the triplets?”

“Not really. Hu woke up, damn near killed himself trying to find his brothers. Aleksis told him the bad news. He took it well enough. I guess he just thought they’d go together when they did.” Gemma sighed, finding herself itching to climb into the bed with him, but if the doctors saw that, they might actually have a heart attack.

“You should send Becket in to talk with him. Reckon he’d know more than any of us would about that.” Chuck said, his face falling a little bit. Gemma mentally kicked herself.

“I’m sure Raleigh will get to it. How are you doing?” She asked and Chuck waved his free hand absently.

“About as well as to be expected. They’re not going to let me go to my room for another week at least, and then it’ll be three times weekly checkups until the radiation clears. This goddamn collarbone is gonna put me out for at least another month. On top of that, the kaiju are gone and that apparently really pisses people off.” Chuck took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm down.

“We’re safe enough here. They’ll find out who’s responsible and deal with them. And when you’re healed, I imagine we can go anywhere we’d like. Maya and I are getting thrown out anyways, it’s not like they can stop me.” Gemma said and Chuck sat up so fast he disturbed Max, who had fallen asleep.

“Why the hell are you getting tossed out? What did you do?” He demanded and Gemma blinked and sat back, startled.

“Few years back, after Coyote Tango and Indigo Centurion went down, Maya and I told the acting Marshall in Anchorage to fuck off after he gave us some shitty orders. Pentecost -”

There was a knock on the door and then it opened, Herc stepping in and closing it behind him. Chuck immediately exploded at his father.

“You can’t dismiss her! Not with those crazy bastards trying to kill us!” Chuck shouted and Gemma rolled her eyes, exasperated.

“I had no plans to do any such thing. What’s the problem?” Herc said, clearly confused, and why wouldn’t he be?

“Can I finish my story?” Gemma said, cutting off whatever Chuck had to say next. When he sat back, ready to listen, she started speaking again.

“We disobeyed orders given to us in a combat situation. Pentecost knew he had to dismiss us, but was going to wait until after the Breach was sealed, since he couldn’t afford to lose us. I just kind of figured those orders were passed down.” Gemma shrugged and Herc looked at her thoughtfully.

“What were his exact words?” Herc asked and Gemma struggled to think back on it. She’d been tired, she’d been devastated that she lost two more friends, she hadn’t really focused on it.

“Um...He said that because we disobeyed orders, by regulation, he had to dismiss us. When the Breach was sealed, we were to give our helmets to him and leave the Shatterdome.” Gemma said, trying to remember if there was anything else, but she didn’t think so. Herc gave a laugh.

“Well, Miss Watts, I’d like to speak with my son. While I’m doing that, how about you go find your copilot? Maya was in the LOCCENT booth last I saw, if you’d like to brainstorm with her. I'm sure you know that Stacker liked his orders to be completed to the letter. Think on why you can't complete your orders. ” Herc said and Gemma nodded, standing up to make her way out of the room. She wasn’t quite sure she knew why she had to think about it. It was pretty clear.

Halfway to LOCCENT, it clicked.

Those orders couldn’t be completed, because Stacker Pentecost was dead. Her orders for dismissal were to return her helmet to him and then leave. She couldn’t exactly do that, now could she?

Gemma laughed the rest of the way to LOCCENT.

* * *

 

Three days later, the new Marshall called all the Rangers together. Well, the ones who weren’t still in the Medical wing being treated for their injuries. Chuck was adamant that he was well enough, but the doctors were still monitoring him due to the surgery and his radiation exposure.

“Last night, Hong Kong police detectives raided a safehouse for the kaiju cultists and arrested what they believe to be those responsible for the attack. Now, I’m not quite convinced this is the end of it, but I realize some of you have families to get back to. I can’t keep you here, not really. You all deserve a holiday. You’re still technically part of the PPDC, even though I imagine we’ll be disbanded eventually.” Herc started to pace in front of them as he spoke and it made Gemma a little anxious. It made her feel like he had bad news for them.

“You’re welcome to go home, go on a sightseeing trip, whatever you’d like to do. But -”

“I knew there’d be a ‘but’ in there. There always is. What’s the deal?” Raleigh groaned and Mako elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up.

“Well, the world wants to hear from their heroes. What’s left of our PR department has been swamped with dozens of invitations from news outlets, magazines and websites all over the world want to talk to you. Now, it’s entirely up to you whether or not you do. I’m not going to make you, no matter what PR seems to think I should do. We all hate it.” Herc told them with a sympathetic frown. Gemma sighed.

“Fuckin’ vultures.” Raleigh muttered, running his hands through his hair. Aleksis grumbled an agreement. None of them really wanted to. The complete story had been given to the UN, and then an official story was released to the public about the event. Nothing was sugarcoated, even though the PR department wanted to downplay a lot of it. They had nothing to hide, not anymore.

“Like I said, you don’t have to do anything. But I can’t promise they won’t track you down when you leave. Hell, even if you do this, you’ll still be followed around for a while yet. There’s no slipping into obscurity for us.” Herc replied and Gemma closed her eyes for a moment and thought about it.  Was this something she was okay with? She wanted to go home, but she didn’t want to drag the paparazzi to her house and have to live with the blinds closed for the next six months until they got bored and went away. At least in the Shatterdome, they could control who came in and out.

“I’ve got an idea, if I may, Marshall?” Mako spoke up and Gemma opened her eyes and glanced over at the woman. Herc nodded, giving her the go ahead to speak.

“Have the PR department decide on the most popular sources. They are allowed to send one representative to ask a list of approved questions and nothing else. We will approve the questions ourselves. After that, we are done, unless we choose to do more on an individual basis.” She said and Gemma thought it over. It was a good plan, one she could accept. It’d get most of the press of their back.

They agreed to this plan and within the next week, interviews were arranged with the healed Rangers. Chuck had been released from the hospital with the explicit instructions that he not overexert himself, and he agreed to sit in on a few interviews with his father and with the rest of the Rangers as a whole. And for the most part, they went well, even though a few tried to sneak in questions they hadn’t agreed to.

“So, what’s next for you, Gemma?” Grace Bartlett was a woman representing NPR, also from Atlanta. It was the same question she’d been asked a dozen times already.

“That’s a popular question, but I can see why. I can’t really say what’s in store for me next. Immediate future plans are to go home, see my dad, my niece and her mom. After that...well, I’m still a Ranger, and I have a very specific skillset that isn’t much use to me in any other field. But I’ve said before, years back, that my original plan in life was to become a fighter pilot. Maybe I’ll go do that now that the world has no need for jaegers anymore.” Gemma shrugged casually. It was something she’d been thinking about constantly for the past few days.

What would she do? For the longest time, she thought she was going to die. Now that she was very much alive and the world was going to keep spinning, she wasn’t sure what was next. It was both an exhilarating and terrifying thought.

“And what about you, Maya? I know that jaeger copilots don’t go anywhere without their other half. Are you going to jump into an aircraft with her?” Grace turned to Maya who gave a laugh.

“No, I’m getting too old for these sorts of things. I’m forty-three, I think it’s time I settle down somewhere. I’ve had enough of military life.  Not that I haven’t enjoyed serving both my country and the world. But wherever Gemma goes, she’ll know how to find me.” Maya said, leaning over to rest her hand on top of the younger woman’s. Gemma smiled over at her.

“Well, thank you for taking the time to sit with me and answer our questions. And if you’d like, come find me when you’re back home. Drinks are on me.” Grace said, gathering up her recording equipment and standing. Gemma and Maya followed, extending their hands to shake Grace’s.

Gemma was still thinking about her future later on that evening as she was brushing her teeth, preparing for bed. She was standing in front of the sink in Chuck’s bedroom, having moved most of her toiletries in there to make things easier. At first, she had tried to excuse it as sticking around to help Chuck out since he had a bit of trouble moving around sometimes and got tired quickly, but after a while she didn’t bother. The whole Shatterdome knew they were in a relationship so she didn't try to hide it.

Would her future involve Chuck? It was probably way too early in the relationship to be thinking about it, but she couldn’t help it. Rinsing her mouth out, she stuck her toothbrush on the shelf above the sink and moved towards the bed.

Chuck was already laying down, laying on his back, his left arm resting on his chest. Sleeping was hard for him, especially since he moved a lot and it had a tendency to jostle his collarbone. Gemma tried her best to anchor him by laying on his right side, with a leg draped over his. It worked alright, unless he had a nightmare. He denied that he had them, but Gemma had enough of her own to recognize them.

He was quiet tonight, the look in his eyes telling her he was miles away. She didn’t speak, instead climbing into the narrow bed next to him and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. He hummed in acknowledgement, so at least he wasn’t completely out of reach.

“Gemma?” Chuck said after a while, when she was close to falling asleep. She pushed herself up and blinked sleepily at him, wondering if he needed to get up or if he needed something. He turned his head and looked at her, blue eyes shimmering in the soft glow from the bathroom lamp.

“I love you.” He said quietly and Gemma just stared at him for a moment. She wasn’t expecting that at all.

“I...you don’t have to say it back, that’s not what I...I just...when I was down there, it felt like the only thing I could think of was how I didn’t fucking say it before I left. I was going to fucking die and you’d never know and I just couldn’t…” Chuck broke off, turning away with a sharp inhale. Gemma braced herself on one arm, took her free hand and placed it on Chuck’s cheek, gently turning his head so he’d look at her again.

“I love you too, Chuck. I wanted to tell you before you left and I felt like an idiot for not saying it. Now we can feel like idiots together.” She said with a smile and leaned over to press a soft kiss to his lips. All the tension drained out of his body and she stroked the side of his face gently.

“There’s just so many thoughts and feelings and memories in my head that aren’t mine. But that one is. I couldn’t go another night without you knowing.” He murmured and Gemma settled back down next to him, holding him as tightly as she dared.

“They’ll fade with time. We’ll make new ones to replace them.” Gemma told him and he made a quiet sound of amusement.

“I’d like to make some now, but I’m pretty sure when they told me to take it easy, they meant-”

“That’s exactly what they meant. So no.” Gemma cut him off but she could feel his grin when he turned to press a kiss to the top of her head.

“Can’t blame a man for trying.” He said and she laughed and tried to get even closer.

“You should come home with me. When they let you travel, obviously.  Atlanta is great. I mean, we don’t live in the city, not even close, really, but it’s not that far. I mostly grew up in the city. We moved when Dad felt like it wasn’t a good environment for kids, so our house is out in the sticks. Near a river, actually.” Gemma suggested and Chuck hummed thoughtfully but didn’t say anything else, so Gemma kept talking.

“The backyard is fenced in so you can bring Max and let him run around. I’m sure Dad will love to meet you. Your Dad is welcome to come too. I’m sure they’ll get along great. Dad can make us his chicken and dumplings, which are amazing, by the way, and I’ll show you all the movies you’ve never seen.” Gemma’s mouth was watering thinking about her Dad’s cooking.

“Just don’t forget the beer, right?”

“If you want to make a good impression. He’ll like you, though. He likes everyone. You’ve also got the added advantage of meeting him when I’m not half-dressed on your lap.”

* * *

 

Everyone was starting to heal, in both body and mind, as time went on. Mako sat with Chuck often, and they discussed things that Chuck would speak of with no one else. Raleigh split his time between sitting with the two of them and visiting Hu in Medical. Eventually, he healed as well, thanks to Raleigh’s visits and his wife coming to the Shatterdome to sit with him as well.

At the end of January, Tendo’s wife and his son joined them in Hong Kong, and the Shatterdome got to experience, for the first time in years, a child. Some of the remaining techs had a pool going, as to which couple would be the first to announce a baby. Gemma threw in a hundred US dollars on Raleigh and Mako being first.

Both Chuck and Herc ditched their slings at about the same time, although Gemma would never know if it was because they were fast healers or because they were stubborn as hell, but both were back to normal. Herc kept himself busy as the new Marshall, but Gemma was pleased to see that both Australians seemed to be working on mending their differences.

At least, there was considerably less shouting.

Gemma brought up the topic of going home one night at dinner. The Mess hall was quieter than it used to be. Most of the jaeger techs had moved on, putting their skills to use elsewhere now that the jaegers were gone.

She invited all the Rangers  to come, although she knew that some wouldn’t. Raleigh and Mako were planning on a trip to Anchorage. Sasha and Aleksis were also planning a trip back home to see their own families and perhaps get some rest outside the Shatterdome.

“I really shouldn’t. I’ve got plenty to do around here. I think I’m going to hate Stacker until the day I die for all of this.” Herc muttered, poking at his dinner. Maya scooted a little closer to him, leaning in.

“Tell the UN to piss off, you deserve a holiday as much as the rest of us. I’m going with Gemma - her place in Georgia is nice. I know for a fact that Robert won’t mind you and Chuck being there either.” Maya told him and Gemma arched an eyebrow at her copilot.

“Since when are you on a first name basis with my dad?” She asked, spearing some vegetables on her fork.

“Oh, since you stopped calling to check in with him.” Maya replied and Gemma sighed. It was true, she hadn’t really thought about calling home, not for a while. She felt ashamed of herself for it.

“I’ll call him tomorrow. It’ll be safer for us to travel in a group, you know that. Just come out for a week, Herc. Relax. The world will spin on, just as it always has.”

“Thanks to us.” Raleigh said and Gemma looked over and rolled her eyes as he leaned over and kissed Mako, tangling his fingers with hers on the table.

“Get a room.” Chuck called, throwing a balled-up paper napkin at the pair. Mako smirked and stood up, pulling Raleigh up with her. He blinked in surprise and then a smile curved up his lips.

“I think we will. Goodnight, Marshall.” The two hurried from the mess hall hand in hand.

“I think I might put more money in that pool.” Gemma said, finishing off her own supper. She pushed her tray aside and leaned forward on the table.

“They’re a popular bet, but there is a considerable amount of money on you as well.” Sasha told her and Gemma felt her cheeks turn pink and she glanced over at Chuck. He just shrugged.

“I know what a rubber is. It’s not gonna happen.” He replied and Gemma nodded in agreement. Along with the implant in her arm, chances were very slim.

“Accidents happen.” Maya said lightly and Herc laughed.

“How do you think you got here?” Herc said and it was Chuck’s turn to stand up from the table.

“And on that note, I’m going to take Max for a walk. See you later, Gem.” He brushed his hand across her shoulders when he walked away, the bulldog trailing after him.

Sasha and Aleksis excused themselves too, leaving Maya, Gemma and Herc sitting at the table.

“Back to the previous topic of conversation, I really think you should come along. There’s a guest room you can use, and Robert has offered me Gemma’s brother’s old room, which he turned into a bedroom for little Lindsey, so I thought I’d spare you the horror of sleeping in a princess bed with pink sheets.” Maya said and Herc sighed and leaned on his arms, appearing to give it some thought.

“I suppose a lot of the work I have to do can be done remotely. Tendo is sticking around for a while, along with some of the other admin staff. Time difference might make things difficult.” Herc rubbed at his mouth thoughtfully and Maya shrugged.

“Well, let me know what you decide. We’ll probably want to leave within a week or so. Robert’s very anxious to see Gemma.” Maya told him and Herc nodded. His face grew serious and he looked at Gemma.

“By the way...how’s he doing? We’re talking but...he still doesn’t tell me anything.” Herc asked and Gemma frowned and looked down at the table for a moment.

“He’s better than he was. He still gets really quiet sometimes, lost in his head I think. Chasing rabbits outside of the Drift. It’s not as often as it was though. He talks to Mako a lot, which I think helps him more than Raleigh does.” Gemma gave a little laugh. If she was a more jealous or less understanding and aware woman, she’d be upset over the amount of time her boyfriend was spending with the other woman.

“Raleigh and Chuck….they’re civil, but I don’t think we can expect them to be friends. Not right now, anyways. But Mako knows how it feels, and knowing a lot of Pentecost’s history helps Chuck feel like he’s not betraying anyone.” Gemma continued, and she wanted to tell him about the nightmares, wanted to tell him about how occasionally Chuck would wake up calling for his father, but that wasn’t for her to say, even if she knew Chuck would never admit to it.

“I think going to Georgia will help him. It’ll create new memories, new experiences for him to think about instead of whatever he’s got in his mind now. I mean, he’s got some memories from at least four other people floating around in his brain. He needs more of his own.” Maya suggested and Herc nodded absently, his gaze far away as he processed the information.

“Some of those should be with his father.” Gemma added and Maya nodded her agreement.

“Right. Well...thanks. I’ll see what I can do about coming out with you. I’ve got to get back to work.” Herc stood and left the mess hall and Gemma sighed.

“I hope he comes with us.”

“He will.”

* * *

 

The next day came with more threats, more investigations, and more arrests. Every time a cult leader was arrested, it seemed like two more sprang up. Raleigh made references to Hydra and Gemma called him a geek, but the conversation eventually dissolved into comic books and Gemma left Raleigh to his discussion with Tendo to go check on her boyfriend.

She found him in the kwoon, working through bushido drills. She knew better than to remind him about being careful, so instead she sat against the wall and watched. He wasn’t as steady as he used to be, thanks to his injuries, but his stamina was getting better. Some of the forms were difficult for him but he pushed through anyways.

“You ever think about kids?” Chuck asked after he finished, leaning heavily on his staff. He was still thinking about last night’s conversation then. Gemma shrugged and got to her feet, picking up his towel as she went.

“Yeah. Having them would be nice, I think. It’s not something I thought I’d be able to actually do though. After we started losing everyone, I figured I’d go too. Didn’t give it a thought after that.” She replied, handing over the towel so he could clear the sweat from his face.

“I didn’t think about it. Wouldn’t let myself. Just took focus away from the mission. Dad...sometimes he regrets letting me be an only child. Felt like maybe I wouldn’t have been such a miserable jackass if I had a sibling.” Gemma frowned at him, opening her mouth to tell him that she was sure that Herc didn’t think like that when Chuck cut her off.

“No, don’t say anything. I know he does. He hates himself for it and a hundred other things he thinks about, but it’s there. I’m glad I don’t have one though. Dad had Scott and look at how that turned out.”

“Having a sibling isn’t all bad. My brother and I got on great. What exactly happened with your father and his brother?” Gemma asked, still curious. She remembered the deployment in Manila, remembered Lucky Seven freezing in the middle of combat, and then she remembered Herc showing up at the Academy without Scott.

“Nothing I want to talk about.” Chuck said and Gemma could sense he was shutting down and decided to change the topic. She took the hanbō from him and put it away, and then slipped her arm through his.

“Come on, we should probably start packing up to go to Georgia. Dad’s impatient, we should probably be ready to leave whenever the Marshall can get us a flight. I’ll even show you the underwear I’m planning on bringing.” She grinned at him and Chuck arched an eyebrow at her.

“And I’m expected to behave while we’re at your father’s house. You’re an evil woman, Gemma.” He shook his head but followed her out of the room, letting her guide him along the halls.

“Hey, my bedroom is upstairs. His is downstairs and on the other end of the house. I’m sure we’ll get plenty of time to misbehave.” Gemma tangled her fingers into his and squeezed his hand.

Going home had Gemma very excited but also anxious. Would her dad like Chuck? She hoped so, since her father was the most important person in her life, followed extremely closely by Maya. She wanted him to like Chuck, to approve of her choices. Some part of her knew she didn’t have to doubt herself, that her father had always supported her choices in everything, knowing that his daughter had a smart head on her shoulders, but at the same time, she was worried that at some point, he was going to turn into the father you heard stories about, the one who waited on the front porch with a shotgun. And her dad owned several of those.

But it was home. She had the rest of her life ahead of her and somehow starting at the beginning seemed like a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that most of you would like elaboration on some things mentioned in this chapter, like Chuck's mental state after Operation Pitfall and the kaiju cultists and probably everything else that seemed rather vague at the time. They're all going to be covered (at least, I hope I cover them properly) in the next part.


End file.
